Snarky Brides

My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question

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Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:181f0dfe-0e92-4079-99b1-2485ff1fb8ab">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : I am contacting my financial planner right now and asking him how many dollar dances I will need to have to retire by age 60.  I'm guessing eleventy billion, but I think it is worth the effort.  And you know added bonus of tax free dollars in my pocket feel so good. 
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]


    No state income tax in South Dakota.  Just something to consider.  ;)
  • You have a baby too?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:c1c8c319-da46-41e9-b828-a4376f86a73a">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]WOW.  Nice.....I never said I was having an expensive wedding. I never said i planned on using the dollar dance money to buy a house, just a simple security down. And we can afford the down, just dont want to do it now because we dont have enough saved to pay for apartment rent, wedding, baby, and misc for several months. I dont appriciate ppl commenting on my parenting. Im not offended by anyone because I know things get pretty slow here and when someone posts something just a little bit scandel worthy, everyone is ready to bear arms. I really appriciate the constructive criticism posted by some of you ladies. I will take it with stride. I love my FI even though his faults. This may be a hard time for us, but marriage is hard and you deal with it. We are dealing with it. I just wanted to know how to handle my mom in this post but it turned into something else. Thank you to those who really tried to help :)
    Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

    Are you living in a Lifetime movie or something?

    GO GIRL
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:c1c8c319-da46-41e9-b828-a4376f86a73a">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]WOW.  Nice.....I never said I was having an expensive wedding. I never said i planned on using the dollar dance money to buy a house, just a simple security down. And we can afford the down, just dont want to do it now because we dont have enough saved to pay for apartment rent, wedding, baby, and misc for several months. I dont appriciate ppl commenting on my parenting. Im not offended by anyone because I know things get pretty slow here and when someone posts something just a little bit scandel worthy, everyone is ready to bear arms. I really appriciate the constructive criticism posted by some of you ladies. I will take it with stride. I love my FI even though his faults. This may be a hard time for us, but marriage is hard and you deal with it. We are dealing with it. I just wanted to know how to handle my mom in this post but it turned into something else. Thank you to those who really tried to help :)
    Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

    Good luck OP, and keep working on finding ways to communicate better with your FI, for your sakes and for your baby. And do what you can to get out of your mom's place as soon as you can.
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  • CellesCelles member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited April 2011
    In all seriousness, OP, it sounds like you need to rethink your priorities.  Is saving for the wedding really worth all the trouble it has caused?  The fights with your mom and FI, the loss of quality time with your child, etc. 

    If I were you, I would have a small courthouse ceremony and put the money I had saved for the wedding towards a security deposit on a new apartment.  Anything left over would go into savings, because a young couple with a child needs a place to live and an emergency fund far more than they need to throw an expensive six hour party. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:cd7f5ba1-b2fd-42b6-a801-a42502c24237">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : I'm packing Anna right now. Any houses for sale in your neighborhood?  I'm havving a dollar dance on my lunch hour so I should have the down payment by the end of the day. 
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]


    Empty lot to the west that you can use to build on and at least 5 houses in the neigborhood for sale.  From the 160k range to 220k.  might have to dance a day or two.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:e75ea7f5-21ec-4a79-9d4c-e525bfcbcd06">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : Are you living in a Lifetime movie or something? GO GIRL
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Whatever- this may make me a bad person but her whole Lifetime drama has totally cracked me up. It was the break I needed from studying.</div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>Bottom Line OP- You have a LOT of growing up to do. I think it's GREAT you are taking us all in stride but seriously, jokes aside, you and your FI need to grow up. You are parents and soon you may be husband and wife. Fighting, ignoring each other, running out, and most importantly- bickering IN FRONT of others is not adult behavior.</div>

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:e75ea7f5-21ec-4a79-9d4c-e525bfcbcd06">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : Are you living in a Lifetime movie or something? GO GIRL
    Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

    I dont get it..
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  • Oh dear. This thread just kept getting better and better. I don't even have any advice, I'm so entertained.

    No, wait. I do. OP, you can't have both. Either your FI works his butt off for the wedding or he takes time off and spends it with your kid. So you need to decide what's more important. If he's really working that hard for the wedding (and by the way, what are you doing for it?) and it's affecting his family time then maybe you should just JOP it and call it a day. Otherwise, get off his back about it. I'd be insulted too if I were him.
  • Also, I agree with the others. Keep your fights behind closed doors. No one will ever know about H and I's fights if we have any, not my family, not even the girls here (minor annoyances don't count). If you don't want your mom asking about it, refrain from stair chasing in the future. If she asks, say you're working it out and leave it at that.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:25ea558c-1b82-4bc2-97d5-204c594d0b9c">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : I dont get it..
    Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

    Oh, well that's unfortunate.
    panther
  • We cant do JOP. We are Roman Catholic and We have to / want to get married in a church for our marriage to be accepted in the church. I mean dont get me wrong here,  we are far from poverty, BUT we both made the decision (religious and practical) to stay at my moms until we are married. So in a way im stuck, but if we wanted to move out ASAP we totally could, it would just be super super super hard. Plus my parents are totally attached to DD and tell us we can stay in their house until we are 30..lol but sooo not going to happen. And starmusica... agreed. Which is why talking to our priest is top priority.
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  • As far as your mom is concerned, the only way you will get her out of your business, is to get out of her house. Period.

    Your priorities are all mixed up. Why is the wedding so important if you are looking for the wedding to help with your everyday lives? That sounds right to you?

    Why not spend the wedding money on starting your independent life together?

    Where was the baby when this important conversation was going on?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:aa1f3f66-8be0-405c-957d-3d460a3d2951">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]We cant do JOP. We are Roman Catholic and We have to / want to get married in a church for our marriage to be accepted in the church. I mean dont get me wrong here,  we are far from poverty, BUT we both made the decision (religious and practical) to stay at my moms until we are married. So in a way im stuck, but if we wanted to move out ASAP we totally could, it would just be super super super hard. Plus my parents are totally attached to DD and tell us we can stay in their house until we are 30..lol but sooo not going to happen. And starmusica... agreed. Which is why talking to our priest is top priority.
    Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Please re-read this- of all your priorities and concerns- your child is not mentioned here. </div>

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:aa1f3f66-8be0-405c-957d-3d460a3d2951">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]We cant do JOP. We are Roman Catholic and We have to / want to get married in a church for our marriage to be accepted in the church. I mean dont get me wrong here,  we are far from poverty, BUT we both made the decision (religious and practical) to stay at my moms until we are married. So in a way im stuck, but if we wanted to move out ASAP we totally could, it would just be super super super hard. Plus my parents are totally attached to DD and tell us we can stay in their house until we are 30..lol but sooo not going to happen. And starmusica... agreed. Which is why talking to our priest is top priority.
    Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]


    So why can't you postpone your wedding or have a small wedding with the Priest and two witnesses?
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  • and I pay for everything else...our expenses, baby expenses, gas, food, etc. We split priorities up so that we both can contribute. ( working his butt off thing..he is a total worry wart and freaks out about all finances even if he can afford it. So he is definitely over reacting with all the jobs but some he is doing more for hobby than money like refing flag football)
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  • Maybe it's because I don't get religion in general, but insisting on the formal church wedding after you've already lived together and had a child -- two things the Roman Catholics frown rather sternly upon! -- seems a little strange to me.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:3d13b1bc-0f51-4280-b5e4-69a7e18aea12">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe it's because I don't get religion in general, but insisting on the formal church wedding after you've already lived together and had a child -- two things the Roman Catholics frown rather sternly upon! -- seems a little strange to me.
    Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

    I'm Roman Catholic and I don't get this either.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:19ce1d6c-82b0-4668-8645-6656cd975daf">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]and I pay for everything else...our expenses, baby expenses, gas, food, etc. We split priorities up so that we both can contribute. ( working his butt off thing..he is a total worry wart and freaks out about all finances even if he can afford it. So he is definitely over reacting with all the jobs but some he is doing more for hobby than money like<strong> refing flag football)</strong>
    Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

    Sigh.
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:3d13b1bc-0f51-4280-b5e4-69a7e18aea12">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe it's because I don't get religion in general, but insisting on the formal church wedding after you've already lived together and had a child -- two things the Roman Catholics frown rather sternly upon! -- <strong>seems a little strange to me.
    </strong>Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

    I was thinking the same thing. I can't see how it is so important now but not when they decided to have a baby and live together before they were married.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:35367ccd-f954-47fe-8014-9e15f50ae9da">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : Please re-read this- of all your priorities and concerns- your child is not mentioned here. 
    Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]
     Oh baby is the reason why it would be super hard. And i didnt include DD in the post because im trying to refrain from bringing her in the convo. Not appropriate to be talking about her on here. Thats why I didnt meantion her in anything.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:cc97f180-c3cf-4dca-8456-ea5c540fed20">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question :  Oh baby is the reason why it would be super hard. And i didnt include DD in the post because im trying to refrain from bringing her in the convo. Not appropriate to be talking about her on here. Thats why I didnt meantion her in anything.
    Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]


    But you already did in a PP.
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  • You know it's possible to get married in a church and not have a huge reception, right?

    Also, if you're THAT RC, isn't having the baby before marriage a little "frowned upon" by that religion anyway?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:cc97f180-c3cf-4dca-8456-ea5c540fed20">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question :  Oh baby is the reason why it would be super hard. And i didnt include DD in the post because im trying to refrain from bringing her in the convo. Not appropriate to be talking about her on here. Thats why I didnt meantion her in anything.
    Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

    Your child should be your top priority - above your wedding, and above your issues with your mother. 
    panther
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:19ce1d6c-82b0-4668-8645-6656cd975daf">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]and I pay for everything else...our expenses, baby expenses, gas, food, etc. We split priorities up so that we both can contribute. <strong>( working his butt off thing..he is a total worry wart and freaks out about all finances even if he can afford it.</strong> So he is definitely over reacting with all the jobs but some he is doing more for hobby than money like refing flag football)
    Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

    Well, I think he's freaking out for a pretty good reason.  You have a child and you still live at home.  That would be a good impetus to work your butt off.
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  • Well thats a WHOLE different story ladies. Very big oops on our part and yes totally ironic, BUT that doesnt mean we throw religious beliefs out the window. I know this is confusing because I didnt ask about FI or DD, just Mom, so you all are trying to get in the know but its just creating more questions. Time for me to stop replying but thanks again to those who wanted to help!
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  • Hope ya'll had fun!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:7856c79c-a80f-4168-949a-e2a331b4d789">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : *nods head* OP, you already fornicated and had a child before marriage. I fail to see why having a Catholic ceremony is that important anymore. I'm Catholic too and I don't get your reasoning but whatever.
    Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]
    There is such thing as repentance and forgiveness. Perhaps OP has refreshed her relationship with the church's teachings after straying. It happens. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:d39d3756-5cdb-4406-9ccf-d40b8a31a9e7">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well thats a WHOLE different story ladies. Very big oops on our part and yes totally ironic, BUT that doesnt mean we throw religious beliefs out the window. I know this is confusing because I didnt ask about FI or DD, just Mom, so you all are trying to get in the know but its just creating more questions. Time for me to stop replying but thanks again to those who wanted to help!
    Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

    I agree religion shouldn't just get thrown out the window but it a wedding shouldn't be a priority over your daughter and your own place to live.

    Whatever, I have to go to work now. You confuse me.
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  • If I pulled that stunt in my mom's house, she would have tripped the both of us.  And when we picked our asses up from the bottom of the stairs, she would have said "That's what you get for acting stupid in my house.  Take that ish outside."

    Which is why I love Momma Nugget.

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    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

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