but I didn't invite you anyway.
That's what I want to tell my second cousin. He emailed this morning to tell me he's going to his daughter's graduation and so they won't be able to attend our wedding. Um. . . I've seen him twice in 15 years. I invited his parents, but I didn't invite him. Apparently his mother called him to forward the invitation.
Wonder how many more of these are coming? My grandmother mentioned that lots of people are asking where we're registered - I didn't invite that many people on that side of the family for there to be "lots" asking. I hope she's exaggerating.
DIY & Planning |
Married
Married: 2010
Mom to J: 2011
Mom to H: 2014

Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
Re: So sorry you can't attend
Good luck!
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
One of my cousins kept reminding me that I wouldn't be able to play with his year old daughter if I had a "no kids" wedding. Dude, really? I had Dad field that one. And then I had my mom field her side of the family. Robert's mom handled that side of the family and it worked out for us.
We had ONE uninvited guest (of 112 people). One of my cousins brought his girlfriend. No one found out until they were walking out of the Church to the reception and no one knew who this weird chick was. The caterer handled it.
[QUOTE]I'm more worried they're just going to show up on the day of. I'll make the phone calls if I have to. But there's not much I can do once they're there.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]
Hopefully they'll catch on when there isn't a seat for them at the reception :P
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So sorry you can't attend : Hopefully they'll catch on when there isn't a seat for them at the reception :P
Posted by jajph1974[/QUOTE]
If I have room, we'll set up some extra seats just in case, but wow. (I'm not sure that part of the family has been to a plated dinner wedding before. Probably just buffet, and mostly cake & punch.)
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
[QUOTE]Squirrly - I think you'll probably come across that a lot. I understand the "rules" behind wedding invitations, that those they are addressed to are invited and no one else, but I have not talked to ONE person who knew about those rules here in southern Ohio. If I depended on people knowing that I would have been totally screwed because everyone I've spoken with has thought that an invitation to parents included the children and their SOs, whether they were adult children or not. I don't think most people have as much exposure to wedding etiquette as we like to assume anymore. It used to be taught in schools and there were more rigid rules, etc, and now I think a lot of people just simply don't know!
Posted by evabee[/QUOTE]
Eva, <strong>most</strong> of our guests really do know. It's just this side of the family that is questionable AND local AND enormous. FI's family might not know, but they'd have to buy plane tickets to get to the wedding. The other side of my family is tiny, so there's really nobody left who wasn't actually invited.
Seriously, we could have more than doubled the size of the wedding with my relatives. Many of whom I couldn't pick out of a crowd, or at the very least, tell you their name.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
Books read in 2012: 21/50
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
[QUOTE]That's so annoying. <strong>Why do people seem to think that weddings are a family reunion?</strong> I'm sorry you're dealing with this!
Posted by btrflykate1230[/QUOTE]
Depending on the family, they really can be.
I know A LOT of cousins were pissy that we had a 'no kids' wedding. We had 50 something declines an AT LEAST 20 were because of the 'no kids' rule. On H's side, weddings always included EVERYONE. His sister had the same issue when she got married 5 years ago.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So sorry you can't attend : Eva, most of our guests really do know. It's just this side of the family that is questionable AND local AND enormous. FI's family might not know, but they'd have to buy plane tickets to get to the wedding. The other side of my family is tiny, so there's really nobody left who wasn't actually invited. <strong>Seriously, we could have more than doubled the size of the wedding with my relatives. Many of whom I couldn't pick out of a crowd, or at the very least, tell you their name.</strong>
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry :( That really stinks.
We made that a rule for our guest list. If we didn't know the person and couldn't remember their name or how they were related, we weren't inviting them.
[QUOTE]Kate, if you'll just pick what you want to eat first, I'll be happy to have you. :D
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]
*runs to check bio for menu info* ;)
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So sorry you can't attend : Eva, most of our guests really do know. It's just this side of the family that is questionable AND local AND enormous. FI's family might not know, but they'd have to buy plane tickets to get to the wedding. The other side of my family is tiny, so there's really nobody left who wasn't actually invited. Seriously, we could have more than doubled the size of the wedding with my relatives. Many of whom I couldn't pick out of a crowd, or at the very least, tell you their name.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]
<div>Ahh that's so brutal! You're lucky that most of your guest do know. I feel his pain because my family doesn't know AND is local AND is enormous and this wedding is a family reunion and a 4th of July party. I'm just planning food and bar based on the number I get if all people over 18 bring a guest and a small child I didn't know existed. It's dinner by the bite though, instead of plated, so that's a little bit more flexible.</div>
Alexia, we have that rule too - if somebody else has to introduce a guest to both of us, they're not invited (except for an "and guest").
Ugh. . . my grandmother turned my 1st cousin (only one of her grandkids yet to be married)'s bridal shower into a family reunion with 400 people. NOT KIDDING. We've gently reminded her that this can't be like that. The tent isn't big enough, much less the budget. I think she understands. . . I just can't speak for her sister, obviously.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So sorry you can't attend : Depending on the family, they really can be. I know A LOT of cousins were pissy that we had a 'no kids' wedding. We had 50 something declines an AT LEAST 20 were because of the 'no kids' rule. On H's side, weddings always included EVERYONE. His sister had the same issue when she got married 5 years ago.
Posted by AlexiaANDRobert[/QUOTE]
Blah, that's frustrating. We're having no kids too, but at $60 a plate and having to pay for the open bar pp fee for everyone (including children, don't even get me started on this) we just can't afford it. Wedding isn't until October, but I am so waiting for the backlash.
[QUOTE]btrflykate, I love your bebe's staticky hair in your sig :)
Posted by kate51485[/QUOTE]
Thanks! I love the shaggy hair look on him. I'm keeping it until he's old enough to argue with me about it.
I'm still aggrivated for Squirrly and the idea that people think a wedding is like house party.
My DD is having a "no kids" wedding - no kids under 14. There is a shower for her in 2 weeks. A cousin, with 4 kids under 8, called the hostess and asked to bring all 4. The hostess didn't was so taken off guard that she said yes. Now I will say these 4 are exceptionally well behaved, nice & fun little kids but still - to ask to bring 1 or even 2 but FOUR kids? This is at a nice-sized home, but there will be at least 40 women there - plus 4 little kids bored to tears.
They have no idea yet that the wedding is "adults only" since the invitations haven't gone out yet.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485