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Wedding Woes
Chelsea124
member
Family Problems.....
in Wedding Woes
Firstly I have to say that I love my grandma very much, she's raised me since I was a baby. I wouldn't be successful today without her. And I love all the financial help she's giving me with my wedding.
That being said, she's driving me crazy lately! I still live at home. As the wedding gets closer and we buy and order more and more decorations (along with everrything else) it's starting to clutter this tiny house. I have it all organized the best I can, but everytime I pull out a box to work on something ( put favor boxes together, tie ribbons on fans, put invitations together, etc.) she gets SO mad. She yells at me and tells me I better clean it up. I can't remember the last time she really yelled at me. I can't help that everything is taking up so much space, and I always put it away!
Another problem is that while she is willing to help out financially, she doesn't want to get into the maual labor one bit. She gets frustrated every time I ask for her help, and says to call my bridesmaids. They are actually helping a great deal, and they have lives also, so they're not available every time I need them, which I completely understand. My grandma however refuses to understand that fact.
I've talked to my family and friends, and we determined that the bachelorette party is up to friends and bridal shower is up to family. I AM PLANNING MY OWN BRIDAL SHOWER. She won't even help with that one bit, other than handing me her credit card.
While she's always supported me through life we've never been close. I half expected planning my wedding together to bring us a little closer, but I should have known otherwise.
Ugh. Sorry for this long vent. Any opinions on how to change/deal with the situation for two more months would be much appreciated.
That being said, she's driving me crazy lately! I still live at home. As the wedding gets closer and we buy and order more and more decorations (along with everrything else) it's starting to clutter this tiny house. I have it all organized the best I can, but everytime I pull out a box to work on something ( put favor boxes together, tie ribbons on fans, put invitations together, etc.) she gets SO mad. She yells at me and tells me I better clean it up. I can't remember the last time she really yelled at me. I can't help that everything is taking up so much space, and I always put it away!
Another problem is that while she is willing to help out financially, she doesn't want to get into the maual labor one bit. She gets frustrated every time I ask for her help, and says to call my bridesmaids. They are actually helping a great deal, and they have lives also, so they're not available every time I need them, which I completely understand. My grandma however refuses to understand that fact.
I've talked to my family and friends, and we determined that the bachelorette party is up to friends and bridal shower is up to family. I AM PLANNING MY OWN BRIDAL SHOWER. She won't even help with that one bit, other than handing me her credit card.
While she's always supported me through life we've never been close. I half expected planning my wedding together to bring us a little closer, but I should have known otherwise.
Ugh. Sorry for this long vent. Any opinions on how to change/deal with the situation for two more months would be much appreciated.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Family Problems.....
You should be happy that she's paying for part of this extravaganza, and try to deal with it as best as you can.
You're moving soon, so I'd just suck it up as best as I could.
This isn't real, is it?
She had my mom at 16, and my mom had me at 17.
And I don't mean intensive labor, I mean folding boxes, tying ribbons, putting invitations together, phone calls, etc.
[QUOTE]What the.... what? You're expecting your grandmother and bridesmaids to help with decorations and not the other person who's getting married that day, you are throwing yourself a party asking for gifts (yes, this is what a bridal shower is), and you're complaining about... something? This isn't real, is it?
Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]
Nathan goes to school for 3 hours every morning then works for ten hours. He actually helps a lot as often as he can.
Sorry but I see a bridal shower as a party your friends and family throw for you, not something you do yourself....
Made up drama? really? how does this sound made up?? I just added that in to explain..
[QUOTE]It is, well, friends at least. It's a faux pas for family to throw it. So why are you taking your grandmother's credit card and throwing yourself a shower?
Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]
I'm not! I was just saying that she has no problem paying for everything, but doesnt want to actually help with everything that needs to be done!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Family Problems..... : I'm not! I was just saying that she has no problem paying for everything, but doesnt want to actually help with everything that needs to be done!
Posted by Chelsea124[/QUOTE]
She's not obligated to! Not everyone cares about your wedding as much as you do. She's paying for it, which is awesome and more than she needs to do. give an old lady a break!
[QUOTE]What the.... what? You're expecting your grandmother and bridesmaids to help with decorations and not the other person who's getting married that day, you are throwing yourself a party asking for gifts (yes, this is what a bridal shower is), and you're complaining about... something? This isn't real, is it?
Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]
<div>Kuus, I love you. </div><div>
</div><div>How old are you? You don't sound old enough to be married, sorry. </div>
Also, use grandma's credit card to pay someone to help. No one is obligated to help you unless you are paying them.
[QUOTE]We get it. She just doesn't want to do it. What you're not getting is that she's not wrong for this.
Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]
If you're saying she's not wrong for this, then why are you even replying? I asked for suggestions, not ridicule.
[QUOTE]Are you carrying on the tradition of teenage pregnancy? Also, use grandma's credit card to pay someone to help. No one is obligated to help you unless you are paying them.
Posted by MinM[/QUOTE]
No, I didn't carry it on. My younger sister is 17 and has a 2 year old.
Oh sh*t i'm probably gonna get MUD called again!
any young brides in a similar situation have any advice?
Most of the problem doesn't even have to do with help, its the fighting and yelling over petty things.
Also, it us beyond tacky to throw your own shower. Don't say it's regional. I know better.
[QUOTE]Anyway, any<u><em> young</em></u> brides in a similar situation have any advice? Most of the problem doesn't even have to do with help, its the fighting and yelling over petty things.
Posted by Chelsea124[/QUOTE]
You are so ageist! First you wont leave your poor old grandma alone for not helping, now you don't want the old brides help? RUDE.
And nobody here is going to have advice for you. They all waited until they didn't live at home to get married. HTH!
[QUOTE]Anyway, any young brides in a similar situation have any advice? Most of the problem doesn't even have to do with help, <strong>its the fighting and yelling over petty things.</strong>
Posted by Chelsea124[/QUOTE]
There was no fighting or yelling during my wedding planning at all. I just planned the wedding I wanted and did most the work myself. So no, I do not advice for you. Maybe you should take care of things for YOUR wedding and then there will be nothing to fight over.
If you refer back to the original post, I said yelling starts the second I get something out to work on.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Family Problems..... : You are so ageist! First you wont leave your poor old grandma alone for not helping, now you don't want the old brides help? RUDE. And nobody here is going to have advice for you. They all waited until they didn't live at home to get married. HTH!
Posted by Cant_wait![/QUOTE]
I didn't emphasize young, you did. And I said it so i could get the advice of someone going through a similar situation.