Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Wedding Woes
orangenmaroon
member
How involved is your FI?
in Wedding Woes
Soo.. FI & I are not seeing eye to eye right now... but I wanted the opinions of other knotties because I tend to be unrealistic.
I say we should plan 50/50. He disagrees and says that since he works & goes to school & has a million other tasks (it's true he is very busy - he's in his last year of Law school) and since he is several hours away and that since I work part-time right now that I should be doing the majority of the planning (but that he should definitely help out).
What do ya'll think? Is this reasonable? Or am I being unreasonable when I ask for 50/50?
Also, how involved were/are your FI's?
Thanks for the prospective ladies!
I say we should plan 50/50. He disagrees and says that since he works & goes to school & has a million other tasks (it's true he is very busy - he's in his last year of Law school) and since he is several hours away and that since I work part-time right now that I should be doing the majority of the planning (but that he should definitely help out).
What do ya'll think? Is this reasonable? Or am I being unreasonable when I ask for 50/50?
Also, how involved were/are your FI's?
Thanks for the prospective ladies!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How involved is your FI?
Posted by orangenmaroon[/QUOTE]
he is right, you are wrong.
NEXT!
DH cared about the cake and the rest of the food, plus some of the music. That was pretty much it. I picked everything else.
2. It's fine if you tell me i'm wrong.. but please tell my why. It doesn't help me if you don't give details.
All i want is for him to give the same amount of effort as me, because it really is *BOTH* of our weddings...
Thanks again ladies & please don't post snarky stuff.. it's really not necessary!
As far as him 'giving' the same amount of effort...Here's the deal.
1. He's very busy finishing law school. That take a lot of time and effort. Effort that he's not going to be able to put into wedding planning.
2. He's a guy. Wedding planning is usually not their thing.
Posted by orangenmaroon[/QUOTE]
law school is hard. it takes a lot of time to do well. if you don't do well, you may end up at a terrible job with $200K in student loans and no way to pay them back.
law school is about the rest of his life. yes, marriage is about the rest of his life, but a wedding is not -- a wedding is about one day.
yes, it is about both of you. however, he is contributing <strong>fairly</strong>, even though it may not be <strong>equally</strong>. do you understand the difference between fair and equal? this is an important life skill.
Look, I'm just asking a question. It doesn't matter if you disagree with me.. that's okay.. but some of you are just being snots about it! Instead of being snarky & why don't you focus on being HELPFUL.
btw, where in virginia are you? maybe we should meet.
he should be totally involved and there every single second of every single minute that you are even THINKING about the wedding, because at the end of the day it is YOUR BIG DAY and law school is just something he is doing right now to pass the time instead of watching daytime TV. YOU ARE TOTALLY RIGHT!
Crap...I Mean Crafts
Ask him if there's anything he'd absolutely like have to say and leave it at that.
He had input on the things that were important to him like food, transportation and his attire and then I booked it because I'm better at that.
Things like linen colours and bridesmaids dresses, not important to him, but important to me, so I took care of it.
I've done the majority of the work and the planning, but that's because the majority of the details are more important to me than him.
ERGO, not 50/50 but more than fair.
Posted by adkinser[/QUOTE]
now you are just being DIRTY.
[QUOTE]People are giving her legitimate advice and pointing out how ridiculous she sounds based on her original post. None of which she understands.
Posted by Paulo's Menina Bela[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Some people are, yes, and I don't mean to point those people out or include them in why I think certain posts are unhelpful. The way some people said things just wasn't nice. Made them sound very snotty. I didn't think she sounded ridiculous. Just confused and overwhelmed and needed some advice - which only a few people were willing to give without making her feel bad about herself.</div>
[QUOTE]Soo.. FI & I are not seeing eye to eye right now... but I wanted the opinions of other knotties because I tend to be unrealistic. I say we should plan 50/50. He disagrees and says that since he works & goes to school & has a million other tasks (it's true he is very busy - he's in his last year of Law school) and since he is several hours away and that since I work part-time right now that I should be doing the majority of the planning (but that he should definitely help out). What do ya'll think? Is this reasonable? Or am I being unreasonable when I ask for 50/50? Also, how involved were/are your FI's? Thanks for the prospective ladies!
Posted by orangenmaroon[/QUOTE]
<div>I love the quote feature. I do. More to come. </div>
[QUOTE]1. Please don't post pictures/make comments about me dragging him to the altar.. I find that insulting.. my FI is very excited about getting married, we have waited a long time for this 2. It's fine if you tell me i'm wrong.. but please tell my why. It doesn't help me if you don't give details. All i want is for him to give the same amount of effort as me, because it really is *BOTH* of our weddings... Thanks again ladies & please don't post snarky stuff.. it's really not necessary!
Posted by orangenmaroon[/QUOTE]
<div>Totally necessary. As are these quotes. </div>
[QUOTE]I UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BETWEEN FAIR & EQUAL! Look, I'm just asking a question. It doesn't matter if you disagree with me.. that's okay.. but some of you are just being snots about it! Instead of being snarky & why don't you focus on being HELPFUL.
Posted by orangenmaroon[/QUOTE]
<div>Hee. </div>
And honey, I'm in law school now and the only non-school things I have time for are to wash, feed and clothe myself. If someone came to me talking about "help me plan a wedding", they'd get a roundhouse kick to the face. Leave. Him. Alone.
[QUOTE]PMB, that's totally unreasonable. He has to pitch in! Providing financially ISN'T ENOUGH!! It's not EQUAL!!! (Which is a conversation I've actually had before. "Doesn't he do housework?" "No, because he works outside the home, and I work in it." "But that's not fair." I dunno - feels fair enough to me when I get to Knot for four hours straight because the only thing on my agenda is "load crockpot" and "clean kitchen floor".)
Posted by baconsmom[/QUOTE]
LOL No kidding. When H was short on work and home most days, guess what? Laundry was done, house was kept, and if he knew how to make something in the crock pot, dinner was ready when I got home.