My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?

4letterwords · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:91b7f002-06cc-4b42-9ebb-347eb57ac8a8">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]Japan is different than the states when it comes to marriages. Legally all the do is sign a paper. No vows, no ceremony, nothing like what we have in the states. it's becoming increasingly popular to have 'western style' weddings, but just like places in Europe those are not legal. They still call those weddings, even though they would be civilly already married.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

<div>Thank you.</div>

Blueyed228 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:56abe6ea-febb-4b42-a019-f2c77128b4fe">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]HOW CAN I RENEW VOWS I HAVEN'T TAKEN? WHY IS THIS HARD TO UNDERSTAND?
Posted by 4letterwords[/QUOTE]

WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED, HOW CAN YOU GET MARRIED AGAIN???

I think you are the one with the trouble understanding.

Stop btching that you didnt get a big party the first time because you were in too much of a hurry to score a VISA. Have the party, but call it what it is.

4letterwords · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:f3346b4d-e059-430e-af7e-2ad7b3d71ac4">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]FYI - my parents lived in Nishi azabu for 4.5 years.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

<div>Thats pretty cool actually. I'd love to live in that area. Swanky, low key, clean little upscale part of the city. I'm up near Ikebukuro.</div>

4letterwords · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:a7b05f99-a8a2-4abb-a9bf-0cdcff2288f0">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything? : WHEN YOU ARE MARRIED, HOW CAN YOU GET MARRIED AGAIN??? I think you are the one with the trouble understanding. Stop btching that you didnt get a big party the first time because you were in too much of a hurry to score a VISA. Have the party, but call it what it is.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh you're right. I should have canceled the entire wedding and moved it up 10 months instead. I'm soooooo unbelievably sorry that I'm using terminology that offends you, Mrs. Wedding Vocabular Arbiter of the internet. </div><div>
</div><div>Marriage and Wedding are not synonyms. They're not even mutually exclusive so suck it.</div>

lyndausvi · October 2012

It was cool. My brothers went to ASIJ. I was in college then, so I got to visit twice a year.

Don't let these people get you down. I generally agree with them on this issue, but it's different when you are talking about other countries. Even if you pushed your marriage up, any ceremony you would have had would be a 'vow renewal' as registering with the office is the only thing that is legal.

Even Prince Albert of Monaco had to have civil marriage the day before his 'wedding' because Monaco does not recognized religious ceremonies. No one went around screaming he was already married.

Blueyed228 · October 2012

No. You should have your party and call it a party.

Loopyseven · October 2012

4ltr - Please watch the language. I don't care, but according to the Knot Gods and the terms of service you're not allowed to swear on the boards.

I get where you're coming from, but since you are legally married, you had a wedding, untraditional, yes, but since the ceremony you are planning has no legal impact on your relationship status, it is technically not a wedding. THat said, if your family and friends all know you are legally married already, go ahead and plan your party and enjoy it. And bottom line - your friends are trying to take advantage of you, and you don't have to pay for anything they are asking for unless you are requiring them to acquire and use something specific.

GrimGirl87 · October 2012

I actually stopped reading at the first page. Here is my opinion - you can go effing screw yourself.

Seriously. You are already married. And trust me, I TOTALLY understand the concept of getting married for a Visa. Because guess what? My H is in England. And guess where I am? I'm still in effing GA waiting on paperwork. I probably won't be with him until after the end of this year. I will probably end up spending the first half of my marriage away from my H. These months that are supposed to be some of the happiest of my life have been absolute Hell because I have to wait on this stupid effing paperwork.

But you know what? The big ceremony and reception and having my friends and family around deal was very important to me. So I sucked it up and got married THEN filed for my visa. End of story. You made your choice, now just effing live with it.

YOU ARE HAVING A VOW RENEWAL. NOT A WEDDING. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK EFFING SKULL.

[Deleted User] · October 2012

I agree with Loopy, as long as you don't keep this a secret from your guests have a great celebration.

4letterwords · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:656828ea-29cc-429e-8820-e17997714d61">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually stopped reading at the first page. Here is my opinion - you can go effing screw yourself. Seriously. You are already married. And trust me, I TOTALLY understand the concept of getting married for a Visa. Because guess what? My H is in England. And guess where I am? I'm still in effing GA waiting on paperwork. I probably won't be with him until after the end of this year. I will probably end up spending the first half of my marriage away from my H. These months that are supposed to be some of the happiest of my life have been absolute Hell because I have to wait on this stupid effing paperwork. But you know what? The big ceremony and reception and having my friends and family around deal was very important to me. So I sucked it up and got married THEN filed for my visa. End of story. You made your choice, now just effing live with it. YOU ARE HAVING A VOW RENEWAL. NOT A WEDDING. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK EFFING SKULL.
Posted by GrimGirl87[/QUOTE]

<div>I can only speak for myself but I couldn't be away from someone I've been with for 7 years for months and months and months just because you want your wedding day to be the same day as the day you get your visa. More power to you, but I'd rather just... get the visa and stay in the country I've lived in for years with the man I've been with for years than be separated over a technicality. Not to mention having to find a place to live, a place to work, get a car, job... all that somehow have to magically disappear 10 months later when we have our ORIGINALLY PLANNED WEDDING. </div>

4letterwords · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:114726bc-9d88-4982-ad94-485e0660a2cf">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with Loopy, as long as you don't keep this a secret from your guests have a great celebration.
Posted by JordanF13[/QUOTE]

<div>Everybody knows. Nobody cares. In fact everybody supported it because they know how much it would suck to be forced to go back to a country I haven't lived in in years, without a place to live, car to drive, or place to work. I don't know why that concept just flies over some of these peoples heads but meh.</div>

Blueyed228 · October 2012

Does everyone know you are already married?

lyndausvi · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:656828ea-29cc-429e-8820-e17997714d61">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]I actually stopped reading at the first page. Here is my opinion - you can go effing screw yourself. Seriously. You are already married. And trust me, I TOTALLY understand the concept of getting married for a Visa. Because guess what? My H is in England. And guess where I am? I'm still in effing GA waiting on paperwork. I probably won't be with him until after the end of this year. I will probably end up spending the first half of my marriage away from my H. These months that are supposed to be some of the happiest of my life have been absolute Hell because I have to wait on this stupid effing paperwork. But you know what? The big ceremony and reception and having my friends and family around deal was very important to me. So I sucked it up and got married THEN filed for my visa. End of story. You made your choice, now just effing live with it. YOU ARE HAVING A VOW RENEWAL. NOT A WEDDING. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK EFFING SKULL.
Posted by GrimGirl87[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Are you saying you were kicked out of England and lost your job in order to have a PPD?</div><div>
</div><div>

</div>

catloverd · October 2012

I think you should just take the advice and leave the forum fort now.... I understand why your upset, but the people on here will continue to be mean. You have your answers so just breathe and let it go.

These people on here don't know you or understand the situation. They are very rude because it's the internet so they have no fear. If they were face to face with you, I bet they would be a lot nicer and more willing to listen and communicate.

I don't understand, but I feel a lot of people on here just have nothing to do but yell at other brides.

But right now I think you just need to let this thread go. Don't come back. If you need more advice talk to the people close to you who are more understanding then the jerks on here. I just want to save you from getting even more upset and worked up. Remember these people don't know you, they don't mean anything. It's all opinions and you don't have to listen to them.

If you need to talk feel free to message me! I wish you the best of luck!

Blueyed228 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:b701656e-1ad6-4ecc-9e76-9c046aef544d">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything? : Are you saying you were kicked out of England and lost your job in order to have a PPD?
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

She is saying she didnt get a quickie wedding just so she could skirt the legality of VISA issues, and then cry about wanting a OMG REAL WEDDING a few months later.

4letterwords · October 2012

Oh for the love of god. I can't take this crap anymore. So TheKnot says it's not a wedding then fine. I don't care anymore. I'm not going to spend hours and hours debating the meaning of marriage and how random strangers have some huge problem with how I define my relationship. Call me what you will, you win, whatever you wanna hear haha I lost blah blah whatever.

I'm out.

arco13 · October 2012

OP, I actually think what you're doing is ok. I don't think the legal marriage and a marriage ceremony need to be mutually excluive. I mean, what about LGBT people who can't legally get married in their own state, but choose to have a ceremony and exchange vows. THe ceremony and the legalization of the marriage do not have to be the ame thing.

I lurk on this board a lot, and I've found a lot of good advice on it, but I'm starting to find it increasingly ironic the way some of the people on this board tear others down regularly. Isn't this the ettiqutte board? I know this is the internet, but do we really need to tear people down the way that happens so often? It's just confusing to me.

Blueyed228 · October 2012

I just think she is conveniently leaving things out.

Like how at first she didnt tell us she was already married, she wont answer the question as to if her guests know they are already married, and I would be my house she is going to have a shower and expect gifts at her party.

lyndausvi · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:abf7aaf7-a906-465a-a344-708a6b7af4bb">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything? : She is saying she didnt get a quickie wedding just so she could skirt the legality of VISA issues, and then cry about wanting a OMG REAL WEDDING a few months later.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>One that already been planned in another country. </div><div>
</div><div>These were her options</div><div>
</div><div>(1) leave Japan, lose her job, try and find another job, place to live for 10 months and then return to have the planned wedding.</div><div>
</div><div>(2) sign a piece to get the visa and scrap her plans and lose deposits. </div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>Pushing up the wedding is not really an option. She lives is JAPAN. It's unlikely her family would be able to all the sudden hop on a plane to JAPAN. Getting married in the states might have posed more VISA issues than help. </div><div>
</div><div>Those options pretty much suck. If I was her I would have done the same. I would feel different if the plans were not already made. But they were.</div>

Chloeagh · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:a0768322-f487-4908-85e9-ffc3aa6dc24f">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just think she is conveniently leaving things out. Like how at first she didnt tell us she was already married, she wont answer the question as to if her guests know they are already married, and I would be my house she is going to have a shower and expect gifts at her party.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
She has actually already said multiple times that all her guests know and are okay with it. And why would she initially tell us she was married? It was completely irrelevant to the question. It came up in her second post and she never denied it, so it's not like she was purposefully hiding it.

catloverd · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:a0768322-f487-4908-85e9-ffc3aa6dc24f">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just think she is conveniently leaving things out. Like how at first she didnt tell us she was already married, she wont answer the question as to if her guests know they are already married, and I would be my house she is going to have a shower and expect gifts at her party.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>If you read, she did say that everyone already knows they are married a few times in her posts.</div>

GrimGirl87 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:b701656e-1ad6-4ecc-9e76-9c046aef544d">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything? : Are you saying you were kicked out of England and lost your job in order to have a PPD?
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

No. I didn't lie to my guests about being married and have a second PPD just so that I could try to loop through Visa issues. I did everything as properly as I could do, legally and etiquette wise.

Blueyed228 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:976f27b4-0d6d-4b23-9297-094591fb3a41">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything? : One that already been planned in another country. These were her options (1) leave Japan, lose her job, try and find another job, place to live for 10 months and then return to have the planned wedding. (2) sign a piece to get the visa and scrap her plans and lose deposits. Pushing up the wedding is not really an option. She lives is JAPAN. It's unlikely her family would be able to all the sudden hop on a plane to JAPAN. Getting married in the states might have posed more VISA issues than help. Those options pretty much suck. If I was her I would have done the same. I would feel different if the plans were not already made. But they were.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

First of all, Visas have expiration dates, so it running out and when should not have been a surprise to her.

Second, had she not been in a relationship, all of those things would have happened regardless. Thems the breaks when you are not a citizen of a country.

Third, not one person has said she shouldnt have a party. In fact we have all said she should totally have one. But its not a wedding. She is already married.

lyndausvi · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:15b2c2e8-1306-42ba-bc79-0d6c63d0ce96">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything? :<strong> First of all, everybody coming to my wedding knows that we had to sign the marriage license before our actual wedding because of the visa situation. I had planned out the wedding and invited people before I lost my original residency visa in</strong> Japan. Oddly, every single one of my guests completely gets it and has no problem with the situation. Seems like only this group of holier-than-thou self proclaimed wedding experts that want to degrade and rename my wedding. You're missing the point. I didn't have any wedding. I didn't have any type of ceremony in any form. My husband and I didn't go to a courthouse and say any type of vow in front of any judge... nothing even remotely similar to this happened. If this is how its done in the states then fine, but thats not how it happened here. All we essentially did was sign the 'Japanese' marriage license (which is actually 'intent to wed' if you wanna get specific) and drop it off for a stamp at a city hall in Tokyo. My husband didn't even go with me to hand it off to the minimum wage kid working the information counter at city hall. He didn't even go with me to the Embassy to get my visa. This isn't a wedding of any kind, and calling it such is insulting. Two people getting married at a courthouse in front of a judge or however they do it in the US... Yeah, thats a wedding. Dropping off paperwork isn't. If you don't see the difference then there is no point in arguing about it anyhow.
Posted by 4letterwords[/QUOTE]

<div>yes they all know.</div>

Blueyed228 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:48ea6235-244d-4705-873b-fc2602781f44">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything? : She has actually already said multiple times that all her guests know and are okay with it. And why would she initially tell us she was married? It was completely irrelevant to the question. It came up in her second post and she never denied it, so it's not like she was purposefully hiding it.
Posted by Chloeagh[/QUOTE]

Not telling people that you are already married when you are planning your "wedding" is a big detail to leave out.

She shouldnt be having bridemaids in the first place. She isnt having a wedding.

catloverd · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:6a635fc4-c016-4b76-8a8a-96f9cc44a349">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything? : First of all, Visas have expiration dates, so it running out and when should not have been a surprise to her. Second, had she not been in a relationship, all of those things would have happened regardless. Thems the breaks when you are not a citizen of a country. Third, not one person has said she shouldnt have a party. In fact we have all said she should totally have one. But its not a wedding. She is already married.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well Wedding and Marraige definitions vary depending on what YOU think they mean. So that is a personal opinion, not a fact. She is married yes, but that doesn't mean she necessarily had a wedding. Maybe you call it a wedding, but I don't. Arguing over semantics and connotations is pointless and is not what she cam here for.

</div>

catloverd · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:58307a32-35d2-4db0-96da-6214013359bf">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything? : Not telling people that you are already married when you are planning your "wedding" is a big detail to leave out. She shouldnt be having bridemaids in the first place. She isnt having a wedding.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>Again, your opinoin. You are free to have that opinion, but you can't force it on others. Not everyone is going to agree with you. </div><div>
</div><div>Also, why does that all matter, the point is her bridesmaids are jerks and that's the problem she wants help with, not ridicule because she's "married"</div>

Blueyed228 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:f5fca090-5eff-4896-b147-fa2a3bca5928">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything? : Well Wedding and Marraige definitions vary depending on what YOU think they mean. So that is a personal opinion, not a fact. She is married yes, but that doesn't mean she necessarily had a wedding. Maybe you call it a wedding, but I don't. Arguing over semantics and connotations is pointless and is not what she cam here for.
Posted by catloverd[/QUOTE]

So I can have a new wedding every year if that what I think it means?

You get married at your wedding. She is already married. Its not arguing semantics, its stating a fact.

lyndausvi · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:6a635fc4-c016-4b76-8a8a-96f9cc44a349">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything? : First of all, Visas have expiration dates, so it running out and when should not have been a surprise to her. Second, had she not been in a relationship, all of those things would have happened regardless. Thems the breaks when you are not a citizen of a country. Third, not one person has said she shouldnt have a party. In fact we have all said she should totally have one. But its not a wedding. She is already married.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>her job decided not to sponsor the visa. I have a friend that it happen to here. Her company told her they were going to re-sponsor her visa. Then they found out they were planning on getting married. They decided that they didn't want to have to spent the money when she could be legal through other avenues. </div><div>
</div><div> They already had their church wedding planned. Was going through pre-cana, etc. They got married in the court house first, then had their church wedding 6 months later. Even if they wanted, they would not have been able to push up their church wedding because they had not finished their pre-cana obligations.</div><div>
</div><div>Life is not black and white. Stupid stuff happens all the time. Good friends know the difference between someone who just wants a PPD and someone who got screwed because of some legal craziness.</div>

catloverd · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_my-bridesmaids-think-i-have-to-pay-for-everything?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6daf916-0d6c-4153-8de6-ad301f63a625Post:6a635fc4-c016-4b76-8a8a-96f9cc44a349">Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything? : First of all, Visas have expiration dates, so it running out and when should not have been a surprise to her. Second, had she not been in a relationship, all of those things would have happened regardless. Thems the breaks when you are not a citizen of a country. Third, not one person has said she shouldnt have a party. In fact we have all said she should totally have one. But its not a wedding. She is already married.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>You don't know her our her situation, there may be other issues, again this is not what she came here for. </div>

My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?

Re: My bridesmaids think I have to pay for... Everything?

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