it's my wedding right...?

MissSarah786 · October 2009

I think the pasta options are good ones and I would be okay with that, but at my wedding that would not have been okay with the older men at the wedding. If I were you, I'd listen to mom and throw in a meat lasagna.

mmdpm · October 2009

But I've always known where my food comes from. I've even petted my food in the field.Me too! I can see this thread spiraling out of control into the meat eater/hunter vs. the vegetarian.

MissSarah786 · October 2009

Caly, what about people who can't eat dairy and cream based products - that would be both your pastas.

[Deleted User] · October 2009

It actually wouldn't bother me. I'm not a big meat eater, so I typically don't eat meat at receptions anyway. Unless, of course, it's something super yummy like a puppy burger.

wadingmoose · October 2009

Erm. What about people who can't eat wheat? Or salad dressings?Or, you know, the ones for whom a high carb meal is a health hazard?

mmdpm · October 2009

Sarah - You're totally right! I would only be able to eat the salad and steamed veggies because of being lactarded.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2009

Think how TO'd you'd be with no vegetarian option at a wedding, take care of those at your wedding who eat meat.The difference being that a vegetarian CAN'T eat meat, whereas someone else might just PREFER to not eat pasta or salad (baring celiac's, etc). I've yet to encounter someone with a moral crusade against lettuce.Moose - my dad was a hunter (not a good one, but we had a few deer when I was growing up), so I've seen that aspect of it. If not for the fact that it causes severe migraines for me, at one point I might have been okay eating sustainable, humanely-raised meat. I'm much more okay with hunting than factory farms. At this point, though, I'd be uncomfortable killing animals if I don't need to in order to survive. But like I said, my FI eats meat all the time, and that's his choice. I really don't mind.

FutureMrsDudley55 · October 2009

Unless, of course, it's something super yummy like a puppy burger.DED.

wadingmoose · October 2009

FI is diabetic.Carbs are bad. Very bad. Diabetes is quite common in N. America. That meal is a diabetics nightmare. We really would have to leave. This isn't just me saying "Serve meat, ya hippie!" It's me saying that diet would skyrocket his sugars. Then he'd crash.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2009

At some point, I think it's becoming ridiculous to cater for ALL special diets. And I say this as someone with a special diet, who has occasionally had to eat iceburg lettuce for dinner, etc. Something (anything) wheat free is probably thoughtful. As would be things that are dairy-free, or at least with the dairy on the side. But just because great aunt Bertha is allergic to strawberries doesn't mean you need to have a berry-free reception. Adults are used to managing their own diets, and if they have severe dietary restrictions, many will eat either before or after, or ask if the caterer can whip up something simple and within their diet.

tenofcups4me · October 2009

Wading, are you seriously suggesting that a couple should give up on their own moral values to accommodate your Fh's unusual dietary needs? Seriously? If someone is on that stringent a diet that they can't have any pasta or make a meal of the other offerings, they should probably check in with the host about the food ahead of time.

chrisandcaly · October 2009

OOOH! totally true about living on a farm~ I did too and have no problem eating meat from my house because I know the animals were treated well.. my fiance says that they are still being taken to the butcher... no more description needed...lol... but maybe I could convinve him to have meat from my house at the reception... unless my mom backs down a little about the whole thing

amalama · October 2009

Again, is your mom paying for the food? Because if she is then I think your FI will need to be the one to back down, not her. Or tell him he can have is vegetarian reception if he wants to pay for it himself.

chrisandcaly · October 2009

ps... I'm not discussing people that have ridiculous allergies... I have 2 friends that this applies to~ one requested PB& J- i know ridiculous,,, but she even requested that at her wedding... lol... and the other told me which veggies and fruits she's allergic to so we're having a seperate plate for her... so that's all covered...

ootmother2 · October 2009

caly,Do you wear shoes or carry a purse?Are they made from leather or man made materials.btw, the only real vegetarian I believed didn't eat meat for ethical reasons did not wear leather in any form.

chrisandcaly · October 2009

and yes my parents are paying for it~ but they continue to tell me that its my day and I should have what I want... then say things we cant do or have to do... there's several others... this is just the big one at the moment

mmdpm · October 2009

The difference being that a vegetarian CAN'T eat meat, whereas someone else might just PREFER to not eat pasta or salad (baring celiac's, etc). I've yet to encounter someone with a moral crusade against lettuce.Vegetarian's CAN eat meat, they CHOOSE not too. I am lactose allergic, not intolerant, I actually break out in hives from dairy with lactose. But I am serving dairy at my reception.It all boils down to that a reception is a party FOR YOUR GUESTS. Great if they all love vegetarian food, but if they expect meat, give the people what they want.

ootmother2 · October 2009

Well, you have your answer right there. Your parents say no to the vegetarian reception.She who pays, says

ootmother2 · October 2009

and I am really interested in your answer to the shoe & purse question I asked.tia

fangsiting · October 2009

Vegetarian's CAN eat meat, they CHOOSE not too. No. A vegetarian cannot eat meat. If they eat meat, they are not a vegetarian.

mmdpm · October 2009

Yes they can, it is a choice. Humans by genetics and biochemical makeup are omnivores. Being a vegetarian is a choice not like having a food allergy or having an illness.

MissSarah786 · October 2009

Tim's been a vegetarian since he was 4, his parents are not, he chose to be. No leather belts, no leather shoes - he's hardcore. If he eats meat, he gets sick. He once ate a piece of pepperoni, a single piece by accident and he was throwing up for quite some time. His body can not handle it.

MissSarah786 · October 2009

I will also add that Tim knows not to expect food he can eat and sometimes all he will eat at an even is bread and he's okay with that.

tenofcups4me · October 2009

[quote] I am lactose allergic, not intolerant, I actually break out in hives from dairy with lactose. But I am serving dairy at my reception. [/quote] But you don't have a MORAL objection to dairy, do you? Huge difference.

mmdpm · October 2009

Nope. Cows and dairy are great.

amalama · October 2009

Well while I think in a lot of cases parents being controlling because they are paying is crappy, I think in this case your mom is just trying to be a good host. And since they are paying and "putting it on", then they would be the one's serving the meat, not your FI who is so against it.

MissSarah786 · October 2009

I'm morally opposed to smoking, but when people did so at the outdoor ceremony I didn't throw a fit. Tim and I are opposed to alcohol and frankly just don't understand why anyone would need, want, or have to consume it for any reason, ever. Yet we served it at our wedding.

squirrly · October 2009

As somebody with some odd dietary restrictions, I can tell you it's a pain in the butt when there are limited food choices, or menus that eliminate entire categories of food (like meat). I would recommend that you try to find at least one meat entree that you can be comfortable serving. Poultry of some sort would be the most universally appealing, I think, but might not suit you all. Also - I'm asking for guests with food allergies or dietary restrictions to please note that on the back of the RSVP card so that I can ensure they have a meal they can eat that night. I would sincerely have appreciated this had anyone ever asked me in the past. If you're having a limited menu and you can't find a way to offer a broader selection, I really recommend you try to do something similar.

banana468 · October 2009

It's not "your" day. The reception is for the guests - so it's not what you want but what THEY would want. If the food served is only going to be about what keeps your FI happy then he should think about hosting a party for one.And I'm also curious about the answer to OOT's question. Even better, I'm wondering what your FI wears and uses. Will he eat marshmallows, use glycerin-based soaps or other animal products? If he went to a friend's home with those items would he just not use them?

Leah&Christian09 · October 2009

If your mom is paying for it, and she thinks serving meat is being a good host, it really doesn't matter what you want.

it's my wedding right...?

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