Favorite/Least Favorite Wedding Customs

ml29 · November 2010

For me, my least favorite would have to be "parent dances."

I have an absent father in my life and a step-father who has always been there for me. However, both dads are attending the wedding. I would like to dance with my step-dad but I still don't want to hurt my dad's feelings.

I want to cut parent dances out completely but my fiance doesn't want to....

Bhagga1 · November 2010

We aren't having a flower girl or ring bearer either. My best friend did not have them at her wedding either. I don't think it is necessary unless you want your niece/nephew or other young family members in the wedding.

bear628 · November 2010

Most: the first dance. the toast (by MOH and BM). seeing the bride for the first time. the first kiss as a married couple. personal vows. less eating, more dancing (to good music)

Least: the bouquet/garter toss. cheesy/cliche dance music of any kind (electric slide, ymca, etc). the cake cutting (I will not have a cake at all). receiving lines.

BeckyB2011 · November 2010

LEAST: Garter toss, dollar dance, all line dances...chicken dance, electric slide, etc. I think those are so cheesy!

MOST: Cocktail hour and mingling with friends and family, first dance, father/daughter dance, and just having a great time at the reception with friends and fam

flerlgirl · November 2010

Ha - my sister-in-law used bells for people to ring when the bride and groom left the reception. Except one idiot person in the front thought they were supposed to throw the bells like you would rice, so they got pelted with bells all the way to the limo.

ttorres30 · November 2010

I am having a beach wedding and instead of my flower girls and MOH standind throughout the ceremony I am having them seated in the first row along with my FI and my parents. Just an idea...

jmendenh · November 2010

Least - The Money Dance...I think it's SO TACKY!

Most - Having him see me in my dress for the first time when I walk down the aisle. I can wait to see the look on his face!

semper.vigilans · November 2010

LEAST:
Receiving lines.
Money dances.
The "playful" cake smash. (IMHO, i's not playful, it's messy and a bit disrespectful)

MOST:
Meaningful, heartfelt ceremonies that incorporate just a touch of humor.
Getting to reunite and party with friends and family
Beautiful photographs.

chicagobridelibby · November 2010

Favorite: Exchanging of vows. Being surrounded by the people you love, and who love you. Seeing your groom for the first time. The announcement as husband and wife.

Least Favorite: Tossing anything. Sand/Unity anything. I'm not sure when these things became "traditional" but I am not into people writing their own vows; it usually ends up sounding silly or a trite song lyric. Also, brides acting egotistical and continually calling it "my" day. That makes me a little scared for the husband-to-be

Tim & Ash · November 2010

Why don't people like the whole unity candle thing? I was surprised so many of you list that.

jenkrum316 · November 2010

I'm wearing ivory but not due to the tradition (it's my first wedding and I haven't been a virgin for quite some years). My dress is lace and it just looks better in ivory.

Least favorite: The Dollar Dance (we've actually cut this from our reception), making the wedding party dance with each other (we're allowing them to dance with their significant others), really bad/corny music at the reception.

Most favorite: The bride's walk, the father-daughter dance, the FOOD.

sheenammeder · November 2010

Least: Sand ceremonies, sappy readings during the ceremony, cake smashing

Most: First dance, vows, him not seeing me till Im coming down the aisle!

butterflyroy78 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_favoriteleast-favorite-wedding-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:fce2efe5-ccff-445a-9da7-e43e8acff225Post:538952bd-45dd-4af3-a843-be58fb28d450">Re: Favorite/Least Favorite Wedding Customs</a>:
[QUOTE]Why don't people like the whole unity candle thing? I was surprised so many of you list that.
Posted by Tim & Ash[/QUOTE]

I was surprised by this also! I would love to know why!

Most: The grooms face when he is watching his bride walk towards him down the aisle

Least: Cake smashing and the tosses. All are tacky. Oh! And the money dance! All of these will be skipped at my wedding!

Amelia24 · November 2010

LEAST: Bouquets (We are doing masques, except I'm having a bouquet), Talking in front of a large group of people, Veil over the face, hmm... can't realy think of what else I don't like...

MOST: Getting Married to the person I love woohoo, Seeing family I don't get to see very often, Cake Smashing....THE HONEYMOON! ALASKAN CRUISE HERE I COME! Ha ha..No Gap between the ceremony and reception because I am not catholic... in fact they are on the same site one to follow immediately after the other... Unity sand ceremony,

uuuh... my mind isn't all there... fixing the post lol.

zshack · November 2010

We've cut the flower toss and the garter toss--HATE IT!

Amelia24 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_favoriteleast-favorite-wedding-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:fce2efe5-ccff-445a-9da7-e43e8acff225Post:0a56e9a4-17b6-4d2b-bbd0-fe2957e5770e">Re: Favorite/Least Favorite Wedding Customs</a>:
[QUOTE]For me, my least favorite would have to be "parent dances." I have an absent father in my life and a step-father who has always been there for me. However, both dads are attending the wedding. I would like to dance with my step-dad but I still don't want to hurt my dad's feelings. I want to cut parent dances out completely but my fiance doesn't want to....
Posted by ml29[/QUOTE]

I think your father is the person who you feel closest to and who has always been there for you as a father. My sister's birth father attended her wedding, but she danced with my dad because that is who raised her. Blood is NOT thicker than water despite what people would have you believe. It's not that you don't love your birth dad, but if he wasn't there for you he really doesn't deserve the title of father and the rewards it entails. Let the father who was the father to you get the reward for being the father. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-innocent.gif" border="0" alt="Innocent" title="Innocent" />

Tara&Chris418 · November 2010

Least: Garter Toss (it always ends up being very distasteful, especially when a little girl catches the bouquet and some older man catches the garter!

Also, I dislike the white dress misconception. The white dress we wear on our wedding day has come to symbolize purity in our current society. However, women did not wear white until the reign of Queen Victoria. They usually wore their "Sunday Best" or something along those lines. We really wear white because on Queen Victoria's wedding day, she wore an extravagant white gown with lace and all the fixings (which was virtually unheard of before this and she made many heads turn). Women during her reign wanted to copy her style and maybe even try to "one up" her. I guess we are still trying to do that. But we can thank Victoria for her wedding fashion sense!

FAVORITE: The procession down the aisle

theatrebrat · November 2010

"LEAST: Ring Bear/Flower Girl
I am so feeling the presure from the family to have these, but every wedding I have seen the children end up walking around like they are lost or start playing with things on the ground. "

I also find this sometimes cruel to those children involved. I am an older bride and rather than have small children have to perform like adults, I just want them to walk/run down the aisle in front of the bridal party to the arms of their parents. I wanted them to be involved but didn't want the typical screaming/crying spectacle I've seen too often. I thought this was a nice comprimise...they are involved but don't have to "perform".

KingsleyLoper · November 2010

I've ALWAYS known about the bride's dress colors and the meaning of white vs ivory or other colors. Of course that always used to mean that! I just don't think people choose their colors like that anymore now a days. I of course wore white on my wedding day and I myself had a 3 month old at the time, and I felt like I was "lying" to the rest of the world that didn't know me.

The reason I've always known about the bride colors is because of my family. They are VERY old fashioned and would teach me as if I should criticize those that are wearing white when we know for a fact they weren't virgins. Then there are others in my family that DID save themselves so that they COULD truly wear white on their wedding day.

I'm so surprised that some people are saying they've never heard of the white vs any other color other than white meaning. I guess it's just because I was taught it by my entire family, that I just grew up knowing it was the "law" of right or wrong.

acute.cookie · November 2010

Y do ppl hate the garter bouquet toss so much?

least: walking down the aisle and all eyes on you. i hate being the center of attention.

most: seeing the groom see the bride for the first time. looking at their cakes

4-9-11 41/2 months to go

yellowgal · November 2010

We are skipping the garter toss, dollar dance and bouqet toss.

cjmara · November 2010

Least:

-(I'm going to be the minority here but I hate being a guest and watching all the dances, "first dance," "mother/son dance," "father/daughter dance" so we're skipping it altogether!

-Cake smashing in the face, I think it shows such disrespect for each other!

-When your SO is in the bridal party and you have to eat alone (we're doing a sweetheart table for that reason!)

Most:

-Dressing up

-Having family and friends together

-Flowers!!!

-The groom's face when the bride comes out.

-Honeymoon

soontobeharalson · November 2010

I am SO glad I'm not alone. I really do not like the garter and boquet toss. I really wanted to veto it, but literally EVERYONE out bid me. Fiance included. So garter toss, is my way, i'll push it down to my ankle, and he can - in a classy way pull it off. No major tackiness.

Least - my CATHOLIC church wont allow a unity candle - or do our own vows.
Most - we're having Fiance lift my veil instead of my dad. my dad felt very strongly that Fiance should do it.

i'm confussed on the Catholic gap - we have a 2:00 ceremony that ends at 3:15, drive to ceremony, after photos. appetizers at 4pm. Dinner at 5pm.. what time is your wedding at?

soontobeharalson · November 2010

Oh! One more favorite... the bridal march - i'll be crying I know. Cant wait!

kamicolleen · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_favoriteleast-favorite-wedding-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:fce2efe5-ccff-445a-9da7-e43e8acff225Post:42b08dc0-3826-419d-a2fe-d3374d91581d">Re: Favorite/Least Favorite Wedding Customs</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Favorite/Least Favorite Wedding Customs : I think your father is the person who you feel closest to and who has always been there for you as a father. My sister's birth father attended her wedding, but she danced with my dad because that is who raised her. Blood is NOT thicker than water despite what people would have you believe. It's not that you don't love your birth dad, but if he wasn't there for you he really doesn't deserve the title of father and the rewards it entails. Let the father who was the father to you get the reward for being the father.
Posted by Amelia24[/QUOTE] I couldn't agree with you more... my mom will be walking me down the aisle for this very reason... and THAT will be one of my favorite parts of our wedding... giving someone the honor who truly deserves it... and we're even going to do the tradition "father/daughter dance". Don't particularly care who doesn't like it.

Most fav: sharing the day with all of the people who love and support us, seeing each other for the first time

Least fav: conforming to outdated "traditions", bouquet/garter toss (always hated this when I was single) and cheesy group dances (although this may be the only way to get some of our guests to dance, so we'll see! haha)

srowlee · November 2010

Least
-Money dance -- tacky, tacky, tacky
-Garter/bouquet toss

Most
-first kiss
-seeing groom's face as he sees bride for the first time
-seeing the mom gracefully stand prior to everyone else just before the bride walks down the aisle with the proud dad (very traditional, I know)

As to the white/ivory debate...white or ivory used to mean "virgin" -- not so much anymore; and as to the blusher -- it doesn't necessarily signify virginity. It's usually worn at a first wedding and is a symbol of the father protecting/raising his daughter and the lifting it to "give her away".

iFnWedding · November 2010

Least: Little kids taking over the dance floor and running around (therefore the children will be limited at my wedding), 10-minute ceremonies, and seeing the groom before you walk down the aisle.

Most: Seeing the groom for the first time when you walk down the aisle, father-daughter dance (I always cry), and clinking glasses

tiffk10 · November 2010

Least- there MUST be an open bar, giving guests and excuse to get blitz (at least this is typical where I am from). Sand ceremony.

Most- cake, vows, first dance, and I'm going to be a rebel and say the tosses. I personally have always enjoyed them at weddings

wathen_dd · November 2010

Least: The bridal chorus, "Here comes the bride," as most people know it. It might be the opera singer in me, but I don't think that Lohengrin is a model for any marriage, lol.

Most: I actually saw this on TV, and wish to use it for myself. I saw the wedding rings passed through all of the guests so that everyone can bless the marriage by praying over the rings or giving a blessing or good wishes. It felt like a good way of involving all in the ceremony, especially since you invite those that are closest to you, right?

leeenpocket · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_favoriteleast-favorite-wedding-customs?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:fce2efe5-ccff-445a-9da7-e43e8acff225Post:4cdb92d2-2465-42e6-94b9-ec6680cb0c17">Re: Favorite/Least Favorite Wedding Customs</a>:
[QUOTE]Least: The stigma to the white vs ivory dress. Some virgin brides want to wear ivory.[/QUOTE]

I'm sure you've heard all the stories that before Queen Victoria everyone just wore their best dress. The most popular colors were red, purple, and black. The reason Victoria chose white was not because of purity. White was much less expensive to make clothes out of and she wanted to show her people that she would run the country in an economical way. It also gave her the option to incorporate some lace she already owned.
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