Pregnant Maid of Honor

[Deleted User] · March 2010

Yeah, that is wrong of you. Getting pregnant is a gift from God. You should be happy for her. Taking away from your wedding, that sounds very immature. Of course there is going to be a lot of other chat at the reception, but that is normal human behavior, they are still there to celebrate YOUR wedding. You should apologize to her and ask her for her choice on whether she wants to be it or not. If she doesn't give you the time of day, don't be surprised, this is something that may take a while for her to get over and forgive you for.

cukimerrydoll · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-maid-of-honor-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ece82372-f6b1-403c-bdeb-7e93c0d7d9e3Post:457d808a-d3e6-4804-96c2-5c3089e95d82">Re: Pregnant Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE]Umm this is definately real. Sorry I wanted to take the stress away from her considering she is having a baby. I am not feeling "upstaged" by a pregnant lady. This isn't about jealousy. She has done other things in the past to upset me and I felt as if this was a sign to demote her. It's not like I completely took her out of the wedding party. Man you guys are horrible! Like I said, this isn't about me, it's about her. I don't want to put all that stress on her.
Posted by noeleanne[/QUOTE]
If you didn't want to put stress on her, why didn't you ASK her and let her make that decision?

If you are just looking for a reason for her not to be your MOH, you shouldn't have asked in the first place.

karenwjackm · March 2010

I think some of you misunderstood her concerns here. She wasn't saying she didn't want this pregnant woman to give all of her attention to her baby, she was just stating a fact that the attention WOULD be on the baby, deservingly so. Sheesh, relax people.

AutumnFair · March 2010

Actually it sounds like she had more problems with her cousin's wife than previously mentioned in the opening. But regardless no Bride or person for that matter should be jealous of a innocent baby, thinking that the baby will take attention away from the Bride is ridiculous and childish (the only age I can think of someone getting jealous is a sibling under the age of 3). The OP has already stated that she gets what she did was wrong and is making peace, all the responses were trying to help her see what she was doing wasn't right when it came to her initial reasoning for demoting her MOH.

It's a discussion board, there are topics that can be heated when there are two different opinions. I'm sure most ladies here have the most relax attitude when it comes to wedding decisions, they understand that even though it their wedding, they know how to pick and choose battles, and how to treat the people they care about so that the experience is a great one for all people involve from the MOB, MOG, MOH, BM, bridesmaids, groomsmen, guest, vendors, etc (not just what they the bride and groom want). I will admit when I first started in thinking about and participated in wedding I had many magazine/movie mindsets of what a wedding just had to be like, but after coming to theknot boards I realize that its definitely fine to not have matching dresses, that I definitely need to ask my friends what they are comfortable in wearing and paying for when it came to the BMs dresses, uneven sides are fine and not a single guest will care, etc. Now it just amazing me how carefree, zero drama wedding stuff can really be and can enjoy in the experience.

ddnels · March 2010

UNREAL!!!!!!!
My MOH is going to be about 8 months pregnant at my wedding and i couldn't be more thrilled for her!!! What difference does it make to you what so ever? in fact my sister is also trying to have a baby at present and is a bridesmaid so there is a possibility of 2 ppl in my wedding party who will be pregnant! Are you not supposed to choose those closest to you, your most cherished friends/ family to stand by you? i am just completely baffled by your behavior in asking her to step down! if anything i am concerned that my MOH will be uncomfortable and am taking every precaution to keep her comfortable through out the day! and hey, if she has the baby on my wedding day i would be just so happy for her as much as if it was any day in fact i would be upset that i had to miss it and not be there for her. There will be no hard feelings if even she is simply not feeling well and isn't able to make it that day! We even found a dress exactly the same as the rest of the wedding party that she will be comfortable in, i will have a chair for her incase she is tired standing for so long! And to think you just throw your friend aside like a piece of trash? i honestly can't wrap my brain around your way of thinking????
sorry this is a huge rant but come on what kind of shallow soul are you?

ChunknLaura · March 2010

Now you are just making excuses. If she said/did things to you in the past, why was she even CONSIDERED to be your MOH. And if you need someone close to you to help you plan, I believe you just blew your only source of help by demoting her. Good luck with that.

hepted17115 · March 2010

I understand your concerns for time/attention being consumed by preparing for a new baby, but it may have been better to ask her how she feels about everything before making such a hasty decision. One of my Bridesmaids just found out she was pregnant...due in Oct. and my wedding is in January. I wanted to make sure she was still up for being a part of it as I knew she would have a lot going on financially, etc. When I asked her if she was still up for being in the wedding, she said absolutely yes! I felt relieved that she wasn't going to feel any pressure from my wedding because I asked her flat out.

I don't know all the details of your situation, but you probably should have talked with her about how she felt prior to "demoting" her. I agree with PPs that the responsibilities are really the same, so changing her title may have really hurt her feelings...

wcvsb3b5 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-maid-of-honor-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ece82372-f6b1-403c-bdeb-7e93c0d7d9e3Post:63301b09-8089-433e-973d-a051f1168f60">Re: Pregnant Maid of Honor</a>:
[QUOTE] <strong>My MOH is going to be about 8 months pregnant at my wedding and i couldn't be more thrilled for her!!! </strong>\
Posted by ddnels[/QUOTE]

Same here!

dandelion17 · March 2010

this was wrong, if she mentioned it to you that would be fine, but to demote her was wrong because yes she will have a month old baby but it doesn't mean she can't be a maid of honor, i would be pissed and offended if i was her...so much so that i would consider telling you maybe i should just not be in your wedding.

cammycmg · July 2012

I think you're right to demote her before she quit on you which was going to happen. It has happen to me my MOH is pregnant due October wedding December and she quit and is not coming to wedding. Words were expressed and she is now out of my life.

Pregnant Maid of Honor

Re: Pregnant Maid of Honor

Choose Another Board

Search Boards