Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Second Weddings
Lisa50
member
Don't ask. Don't tell.
We're all grown ups here.
Honestly, I scratch my head sometimes when I read posts, on this board and others, in which brides ask for others' opinions but then get snippy (sometimes flagrantly, sometimes very subtly) when the reply isn't exactly what they want. Why bother? Why ask if you don't want to receive honest feedback?
Here's my unsolicited $0.02. Don't ask if you don't want honest feedback. We won't give it. Unless, of course, the post begins with ... "I need you to tell me what I want to hear, I'm not in the mood for honest feedback. Just tell me what I want to hear." I promise, if you start your post that way, I will mirror your opinion, 100%.
That is all.
Honestly, I scratch my head sometimes when I read posts, on this board and others, in which brides ask for others' opinions but then get snippy (sometimes flagrantly, sometimes very subtly) when the reply isn't exactly what they want. Why bother? Why ask if you don't want to receive honest feedback?
Here's my unsolicited $0.02. Don't ask if you don't want honest feedback. We won't give it. Unless, of course, the post begins with ... "I need you to tell me what I want to hear, I'm not in the mood for honest feedback. Just tell me what I want to hear." I promise, if you start your post that way, I will mirror your opinion, 100%.
That is all.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Don't ask. Don't tell.
You made an assumption about me based off of one post. I merely corrected you. You did not ask me why I had waited to change my last name or why I just was eligible, you simply told me why I did not do it yet and informed me I did not understand the laws in my state. There was nothing subtle about my response. I corrected you and moved on. Did not feel the need to dwell on a post that was based off of assumptions and misinformation.
[QUOTE]We're all grown ups here. Honestly, I scratch my head sometimes when I read posts, on this board and others, in which brides ask for others' opinions but then get snippy (sometimes flagrantly, sometimes very subtly) when the reply isn't exactly what they want. Why bother? Why ask if you don't want to receive honest feedback? Here's my unsolicited $0.02. Don't ask if you don't want honest feedback . We won't give it. Unless, of course, the post begins with ... "I need you to tell me what I want to hear, I'm not in the mood for honest feedback. Just tell me what I want to hear." I promise, if you start your post that way, I will mirror your opinion, 100%. That is all.
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]
Can we make this a sticky on every board? I never understood this either. If you don't want to hear the answer don't ask the question. And if your case is "different" then provide all the necessary information. People respond based on the information you provide. None of us are mind readers.
Misinformation that you provided, btw.
I scratch my head as well, Lisa.
[QUOTE]To say a bride is subtly getting snotty is no worse than your passive aggressive post. You made an assumption about me based off of one post. I merely corrected you. You did not ask me why I had waited to change my last name or why I just was eligible, you simply told me why I did not do it yet and informed me I did not understand the laws in my state. There was nothing subtle about my response. I corrected you and moved on. Did not feel the need to dwell on a post that was based off of assumptions and misinformation.
Posted by daffydillie[/QUOTE]
Do you always think every post is about you?
[QUOTE]We're all grown ups here. Honestly, I scratch my head sometimes when I read posts, on this board and others, in which brides ask for others' opinions but then get snippy (sometimes flagrantly, sometimes very subtly) when the reply isn't exactly what they want. Why bother? Why ask if you don't want to receive honest feedback? Here's my unsolicited $0.02. Don't ask if you don't want honest feedback . <strong>We won't give it. Unless, of course, the post begins with ... "I need you to tell me what I want to hear, I'm not in the mood for honest feedback. Just tell me what I want to hear." I promise, if you start your post that way, I will mirror your opinion, 100%. That is all. </strong>
Posted by Lisa50[/QUOTE]
<div>I wouldn't. I would tell someone who wrote this that they can't tell me how to post, and I'll respond how I d*mn well want to:-) </div><div>
</div><div>
</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Don't ask. Don't tell. : I wouldn't. I would tell someone who wrote this that they can't tell me how to post, and I'll respond how I d*mn well want to:-)
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]
*snort, snort* You crack me up! Where <em>have</em> you been?
So, ksmakal, what would you have responded to the woman who was on this board several years ago, who said her gay son needed to be "cured" of his gayness? No, my dear, one must stand up to injustice, and correct those who are misguided and educate the ignorant. There was certainly nothing nice that I said in response to her post except that she needed to accept her son as is, or he would continue to try to kill himself, as he had before, until he had completed suicide. This post, of course, was not nearly on that level, but if you extrapolate your advice, yeah, uh, no.
[QUOTE]So, ksmakal, what would you have responded to the woman who was on this board several years ago, who said her gay son needed to be "cured" of his gayness? No, my dear, one must stand up to injustice, and correct those who are misguided and educate the ignorant. There was certainly nothing nice that I said in response to her post except that she needed to accept her son as is, or he would continue to try to kill himself, as he had before, until he had completed suicide. This post, of course, was not nearly on that level, but if you extrapolate your advice, yeah, uh, no.
Posted by handfast4me[/QUOTE]
That last check this was a wedding board and this is not an appropriate venue for such discussions. Such conflict charged family situations can almost never be solved on a message board and that family therapy might be more appropriate.