telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding

georgia_bride09 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:d6b2ce4c-26fd-42dd-b1cc-b0c683cfa61f">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]You're right about the ask groom's family for money that was my mistake but replacing a groomsmen, seriously you're kidding right? Most people have to add or subtract friends from WP to match numbers anyway, I'm sure there is a guy involved in this party that could stand in, not to mention that was a sidenote to the real point, which was forget about it no unit would be invited to my wedding if it was going to make me feel uineasy on the most important day of my life.
Posted by ShanaFry[/QUOTE]

Hahahaha. You think that the wedding party has to have matching numbers on each side? Really, go to weddingwire.com. You'll like them better, I swear.

NuggetBrain · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:95d19e27-6ff7-4aa9-9700-2a4ea5c33fe3">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]You have a bone to pick Georgia pick away, sorry that I'm not mean and angry and I enjoy being considered a nice person vs. rude and outspoken. <strong>Last time I checked being considerate and kind weren't bad attributes.</strong>
Posted by ShanaFry[/QUOTE]

Maybe, but last time<em> I</em> checked being constantly wrong was not something to strive for.

AmoroAgain · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:abd580ae-7ba6-4a21-bf32-c1b889b831c0">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]my fiance and i expected this GM to back out as a result. and we are fine with it. it is just very sad that this 30-yr old "woman" felt the need to shout such a degrading word at someone's wedding and that it put her husband in a difficult position. how disrespectful is that to the bride and groom and their families.
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]
But this is patently NOT what you asked about.

laurenclaire1386 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:6e0ca888-abff-49aa-9f59-7d44de334514">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]WHATS GOING ON IN HERE?!?
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]
Cvnts. Errywhere. All of us.

jnic0319 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:d6b2ce4c-26fd-42dd-b1cc-b0c683cfa61f">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]You're right about the ask groom's family for money that was my mistake but replacing a groomsmen, seriously you're kidding right? Most people have to add or subtract friends from WP to match numbers anyway, I'm sure there is a guy involved in this party that could stand in, not to mention that was a sidenote to the real point, which was forget about it no unit would be invited to my wedding if it was going to make me feel uineasy on the most important day of my life.
Posted by ShanaFry[/QUOTE]

You are completely off base here. Uneven sides is not the end of the world, hell mine are uneven on purpose <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-surprised.gif" border="0" alt="Surprised" title="Surprised" />. Asking someone to be 2nd string WP is incredibly rude.

Stackeye210 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:d6b2ce4c-26fd-42dd-b1cc-b0c683cfa61f">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]You're right about the ask groom's family for money that was my mistake but replacing a groomsmen, seriously you're kidding right? Most people have to add or subtract friends from WP to match numbers anyway, I'm sure there is a guy involved in this party that could stand in, not to mention that was a sidenote to the real point, which was forget about it no unit would be invited to my wedding if it was going to make me feel uineasy on the most important day of my life.
Posted by ShanaFry[/QUOTE]

So be honest - you'd be "ok" with someone say - "hey my numbers are uneven, will you please just stand up there to make it not look awkward?" No. That's not cool to your friend and/or family that you ask do that. You do not replace someone for even sides - you just have uneven sides. It is really ok to have uneven sides. You have to think of the feelings you'd be hurting by telling someoen they were just a second thought. It's like a B list invite for a standing role. I'd not be ok with that.

MattsPenguin · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:6de4d8d4-130d-4050-9228-f0f16f120a14">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : The situation that lead to this is the sad situation. You want to stop and point fingers at this single point in time without taking responsibility for your actions that helped bring you to the pointing of the fingers.Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

If you point a finger at someone, remember there are three pointing back at you!

ShanaFry · August 2010

True True, I suppose using the word hag was harsh...but atleast it wasn't rainbow covered.

AmoroAgain · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:3c203666-19b0-4f44-9a31-00471e56a7ee">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : Maybe, but last time I checked being constantly wrong was not something to strive for.
Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]
OHSNAP

crfische · August 2010

I am rubber, you are glue.

HAHAHAHA!!! BAZINGA!! GOTCHA!

aral2003 · August 2010

once again, my point was to find out what other BRIDES would have done in this situation. and she isnt over it bc people have told me she is running around trying to get our friends to boycott our wedding. luckily we have sensible friends who know better than to listen to her.

mbarnhart · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:d6b2ce4c-26fd-42dd-b1cc-b0c683cfa61f">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]You're right about the ask groom's family for money that was my mistake but replacing a groomsmen, seriously you're kidding right? Most people have to add or subtract friends from WP to match numbers anyway, I'm sure there is a guy involved in this party that could stand in, not to mention that was a sidenote to the real point, which was forget about it no unit would be invited to my wedding if it was going to make me feel uineasy on the most important day of my life.
Posted by ShanaFry[/QUOTE]

<div>I know I don't post that often....but for goodness sake USE A PERIOD NOT A COMMA!!! Ok, I'm done. :)</div>

aral2003 · August 2010

i agree, the sides do not have to be even. with out without this groomsman they wont be.

crfische · August 2010

Everyone raise your hand if you HAVE been or WILL be a bride?

MattsPenguin · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:873dcb21-f9c3-4910-8faf-4c0a27aeca7a">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : I know I don't post that often....but for goodness sake USE A PERIOD NOT A COMMA!!! Ok, I'm done. :)
Posted by mbarnhart[/QUOTE]

You read my mind!

AllAboutTheBenjamin · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:db3c00a1-e75f-4836-b049-fcada6f40b96">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]once again, my point was to find out what other BRIDES would have done in this situation. and she isnt over it bc people have told me she is running around trying to get our friends to boycott our wedding. luckily we have sensible friends who know better than to listen to her.
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

So what we've learned here is - most brides would have just ignored her.

jnic0319 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:db3c00a1-e75f-4836-b049-fcada6f40b96">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]once again, my point was to find out what other BRIDES would have done in this situation. and she isnt over it bc people have told me she is running around trying to get our friends to boycott our wedding. luckily we have sensible friends who know better than to listen to her.
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

I would really attempt to patch things up if you can. I can tell you that we almost boycotted a wedding because the bride un invited the groomsman's gf. All of us were appalled, she ended up re-inviting her. See if FI can talk to his friend and ask how you can make this right.

georgia_bride09 · August 2010

[QUOTE]once again, my point was to find out what other BRIDES would have done in this situation. and she isnt over it bc people have told me she is running around trying to get our friends to boycott our wedding. luckily we have sensible friends who know better than to listen to her.
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

Your whole crew sounds very mature. Will there be fist pumping at your reception?

emilyinchile · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:db3c00a1-e75f-4836-b049-fcada6f40b96">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]once again, my point was to find out what other BRIDES would have done in this situation. and she isnt over it bc people have told me she is running around trying to get our friends to boycott our wedding. luckily we have sensible friends who know better than to listen to her.
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

You realize that in order to be married, we had to have been brides at one point, right? And that most of us have memories that stretch as far back as before our weddings that we can use to recall what we might have done in a pre-wedding situation? Just checking.

AllAboutTheBenjamin · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:369b947a-f322-4e2f-af6b-e8eb406b7ee5">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone raise your hand if you HAVE been or WILL be a bride?
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]|

ME

MattsPenguin · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:369b947a-f322-4e2f-af6b-e8eb406b7ee5">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone raise your hand if you HAVE been or WILL be a bride?
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

**raises hand**

My great uncle called his wife "his bride" until the day she died (at the age of 76).

ShanaFry · August 2010

And BTW my wedding party has two more BM's to GM's, just saying there is a way around the missing GM...

wadingmoose · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:433f3f13-a0a8-45e1-aa25-362f52c82a19">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]True True, I suppose using the word hag was harsh...but atleast it wasn't rainbow covered.
Posted by ShanaFry[/QUOTE]

It's a start.

laurenclaire1386 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:db3c00a1-e75f-4836-b049-fcada6f40b96">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]once again, my point was to find out what other BRIDES would have done in this situation. and she isnt over it bc people have told me she is running around trying to get our friends to boycott our wedding. luckily we have sensible friends who know better than to listen to her.
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]
You do realize that being a BRIDE is an ephemeral state, and that all these married hags were BRIDES at one point or another, right? Or did you only want advice from people who haven't actually gotten married yet?

aral2003 · August 2010

we have tried and tried to patch things up... and most people have said that not inviting her is for the best. we never actually invited her and then uninvited her.

AmoroAgain · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:db3c00a1-e75f-4836-b049-fcada6f40b96">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]once again, my point was to find out what other BRIDES would have done in this situation. and she isnt over it bc people have told me she is running around trying to get our friends to boycott our wedding. luckily we have sensible friends who know better than to listen to her.
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

As a former BRIDE, I would have had a sensible conversation with the GM, talking to him about the situation, instead of z snapping away. You have problems with each other. Got it. I hate the wives of two of the GM's who were in my wedding, but I never thought of uninviting THEM and not their husbands. I didn't even notice them at my admittedly small and non super classy and elegant wedding in Michigan. In fact, they spent the entire ceremony in the bathroom gossiping and I didn't notice in the slightest.

mbarnhart · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:cdc11cdd-11fc-4d1d-9ac7-be3ec4ffe735">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Your whole crew sounds very mature. Will there be fist pumping at your reception?
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Wait, no one said anything about The Situation or Snookie coming to this wedding. She was right, this is a classy event!

</div>

georgia_bride09 · August 2010

[QUOTE]we have tried and tried to patch things up... and most people have said that not inviting her is for the best. we never actually invited her and then uninvited her.
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

I'm bored by your continuous and extraneous explanations about something we've talked to death. Answer my fist pumping question.

jnic0319 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:8fda3a8f-e2b2-4290-9799-25c1772490a8">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]we have tried and tried to patch things up... and most people have said that not inviting her is for the best. we never actually invited her and then uninvited her.
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

Well than I think you've done all you can do. Now you just move on and let it go.

wadingmoose · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:db3c00a1-e75f-4836-b049-fcada6f40b96">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]once again, my point was to find out what other BRIDES would have done in this situation. and she isnt over it bc people have told me she is running around trying to get our friends to boycott our wedding. luckily we have sensible friends who know better than to listen to her.
Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

If someone came to me and said, "Can you believe that Jane didn't invite me? Herbert is going to be IN THE WEDDING, and she specifically told him I wasn't invited!!!!!!!!!!!!".

I'll be honest, I'd give the bride a serious side-eye.

Again, your situation. Your behaviour brought you to this point.

telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding

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