In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_very-good-friend-and-a-witch-sorryvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:82446bc0-f81e-4666-b1b0-00dd41a14157Post:d87eee72-4f22-4825-bcad-8ab541953a30">Re: Very good friend and a WITCH! Sorry..Vent!</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Very good friend and a WITCH! Sorry..Vent! : Check out some other threads on this board and you'll see why this is a terrible idea. If someone is in a relationship, you should really include the name of their significant others. For real. Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]
<div> </div><div>Well, I guess this just answered it! I might have to give my mother an etiquette lesson ;)</div>
I know, but I have 250 people coming. I can't keep track of people who are dating for 2 months and might not be together at the time of my wedding. So I am sticking with people who are engaged and married on the invites. I don't know what I will be doing as far as table place settings..Maybe i'll put the names on there!
So i should put people's first and last names and their guest first and last names on the invites and the place settings? Just making sure i am getting this correct. I didnt think i had to if i didnt know who the dates were.. and if they aren't semi-serious just in case of any break ups!
thank you, everyone for all of your advice on Corey's situation. You are right, it is his problem not mine.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_very-good-friend-and-a-witch-sorryvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:82446bc0-f81e-4666-b1b0-00dd41a14157Post:7588406a-61e3-445a-b00e-d853bd96149f">Re: Very good friend and a WITCH! Sorry..Vent!</a>: [QUOTE]I know, but I have 250 people coming. <strong>I can't keep track of people who are dating for 2 months and might not be together at the time of my wedding</strong>. So I am sticking with people who are engaged and married on the invites. I don't know what I will be doing as far as table place settings..Maybe i'll put the names on there! Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
You know her name. She will blow a gasket if you call her "Guest"....and she'll blow it on Corey.
How many of you 250 guests have SOs that you truly don't know the names of? Just call them (or have FI help and split the list into 2) so you can make it a bit more personable. Your guests will appreciate it.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_very-good-friend-and-a-witch-sorryvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:82446bc0-f81e-4666-b1b0-00dd41a14157Post:df2e6a10-2238-44b9-a508-34d705c56ce7">Re: Very good friend and a WITCH! Sorry..Vent!</a>: [QUOTE]I am putting all married\engaged couples as their names on the invites...she will be "corey and guest" because they aren't married or engaged. It is not anything against her or corey it is how its going to be for everyone. Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
K, I'm late to the party here, but this part I had to speak on. Put the name if you know the name. I was with my FI for SIX years before we became engaged, and had we been invited as Name + Guest, it would have been BEYOND insulting. Some people are engaged after a few months, that doesn't make their relationship anymore meaningful than mine was. If you don't know the name b/c you have never met and didn't realize someone was in a relationship, that is fine, but since you know her name, this seems a deliberate insult.
Thats true, MiksChick! I would put you in the catagory as "serious" though, in which you would get a name with yours. I will have to look into this..Apparently it's a bigger deal then i thought!
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_very-good-friend-and-a-witch-sorryvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:82446bc0-f81e-4666-b1b0-00dd41a14157Post:39af786b-41a0-4658-ab78-84e4e3b1246e">Re: Very good friend and a WITCH! Sorry..Vent!</a>: [QUOTE]Thats true, MiksChick! <strong>I would put you in the catagory as "serious" though</strong>, in which you would get a name with yours. I will have to look into this..Apparently it's a bigger deal then i thought! Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
ALSO, you can't categorize other people's relationships. I know you aren't meaning to, but I knew FI was the one right away, so we were "serious" pretty much from the very beginning. If you know the name, put it on the invite, period...even if its a new relationship.
I TOTALLY get wondering if people would break up and then you send the invites to them and their ex, or between invites and wedding they break up and then you've invited the ex and not a new guest...its all a bit confusing. For those newer relationships, I left the envelopes blank until right before I send them so I can address them with the most current information. There are only a few of them, and if they happen to break up between my invite and the RSVP, I will make sure they know they can bring someone else.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_very-good-friend-and-a-witch-sorryvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:82446bc0-f81e-4666-b1b0-00dd41a14157Post:d40ac27f-88cd-421e-af94-c4dfb3a79cb9">Re: Very good friend and a WITCH! Sorry..Vent!</a>: [QUOTE]Rachers- so everyone you have with a date you put both their names on the invite and the place setting? Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
I plan on doing this. On my RSVP I put a blank for names so I can make my place cards accordingly. If they just put the one name and RSVP 2 and I don't know that they have a s/o, I will put "John Doe + Guest"
no no that isn't what i mean...i felt the same exact way with my fiance' and i had to be in a wedding 6 months later and i made sure he was included 100%. So i understand what you are saying! I guess to avoid insulting anyone, i'll just include names of everyone.
Yeah I'm with rachers. Any guest to my wedding that was known prior to invites being sent, had their name on the invitation. The only "guest" invites were to single friends who may bring someone but it wasn't for sure.
In Response to Re: Very good friend and a WITCH! Sorry..Vent!: [QUOTE]I know, but I have 250 people coming. I can't keep track of people who are dating for 2 months and might not be together at the time of my wedding. So I am sticking with people who are engaged and married on the invites. I don't know what I will be doing as far as table place settings..Maybe i'll put the names on there! Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE] This is where I got my "I'm too busy to keep up with it" thing. Do you just not keep track of your friends when you have nothing going on? With the world of Facebook I pretty much know if any of my friends are dating people and what the significant other's first/last names are.
I didn't have 250 people, but I did take the time to either look up or ASK the person I invited who they'd be bringing as a guest.
I've been "and guest" before when the person SHOULD know my name (met them, stayed at their house, at the shower and what not) - it's pretty lame.
Okay you obviously aren't understanding what I am talking about...I am talking about my mom's 2nd cousin bill that met a girl at the bar last week that wants a plus 1 and therefore a name will not be included. NOT my close friends and family.
At the end of the day, if you are accidentally referred to as "and guest" its not the end of the world. But, please, go out of your way to make sure that you are as polite and accomodating as possible.
Well, if he met her before invitations go out, you take the initiative to ask who his new barfly chick is if he wants to bring her to the wedding. Your mom can ask her second cousin. If no one is comfortable enough to ask him this question, should he be coming to the wedding?
If he meets her in between invitations/wedding, and you were planning to offer a +1 to your SINGLE guests, then yes, "And Guest" is appropriate. Because invitations have already gone out.
I'm not trying to be rude. I just really hate "My day" crap. You're hosting people. You have guests and you need to take their feelings into account.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_very-good-friend-and-a-witch-sorryvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:82446bc0-f81e-4666-b1b0-00dd41a14157Post:b1e52d24-e87f-4b66-bdeb-cad5022311f6">Re: Very good friend and a WITCH! Sorry..Vent!</a>: [QUOTE]Well i figured everyone would know i meant to say the other word that rhymes with it.... Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE] Still not ok. Those are 2 entirely different meanings. You're essentially using a religion as a slur.
You guys are "picking" things to complain to me about. So i said "MY DAY" one time. Really? None of you have never said that? Woopdie Freakin Doo. MY DAY MY DAY MY DAY. Call me a SNOB but I don't have time, after the invites go out and they send back their whoever is coming paper, to check up to ask how your relationship is going. That is why I asked to begin with if there was a way to get around this. I am not trying to hurt peoples feelings, I obviously love everyone coming to my wedding and that is why they are invited. I wasn't being nasty, i wasn't being rude, or cocky i was just ASKING. i thought that was what this blog was for..and i'm sorry for people who are sick of the "venting" ..why did you come into my post then? it says "venting" on it....Oh thats right, to make you feel better.
I am from philly. We dont talk like a-holes, it isn't just MY day. All of our guys here are gorgeous. Everyone's names are going to be on the invites. Corey should dump his girlfriend. Anything else???
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_very-good-friend-and-a-witch-sorryvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:82446bc0-f81e-4666-b1b0-00dd41a14157Post:dd1903a7-a879-4d49-85e9-51f2cffa4087">Re: Very good friend and a WITCH! Sorry..Vent!</a>: [QUOTE] You guys are "picking" things to complain to me about. So i said "MY DAY" one time. Really? None of you have never said that? Woopdie Freakin Doo. MY DAY MY DAY MY DAY. Call me a SNOB but I don't have time, after the invites go out and they send back their whoever is coming paper, to check up to ask how your relationship is going. That is why I asked to begin with if there was a way to get around this. I am not trying to hurt peoples feelings, I obviously love everyone coming to my wedding and that is why they are invited. I wasn't being nasty, i wasn't being rude, or cocky i was just ASKING. i thought that was what this blog was for..and i'm sorry for people who are sick of the "venting" ..why did you come into my post then? it says "venting" on it....Oh thats right, to make you feel better. I am from philly. We dont talk like a-holes, it isn't just MY day. All of our guys here are gorgeous. Everyone's names are going to be on the invites. Corey should dump his girlfriend. Anything else??? Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]<div> </div><div>Well, this isn't a blog, it's a message board - and it's cool to vent. But you need to be ready for people to respond to your vents. That's what happens. I came into this post to try to help you out - because, you see, that's what people do on message boards. Help other people out. But then I saw "MY DAY" and it made my "Princess" radar go off. Just remember that you are the host and you are hosting people. You need to take everyone's feelings into consideration. Not just yours. It it not just "your" day.</div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_very-good-friend-and-a-witch-sorryvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:82446bc0-f81e-4666-b1b0-00dd41a14157Post:dd1903a7-a879-4d49-85e9-51f2cffa4087">Re: Very good friend and a WITCH! Sorry..Vent!</a>: [QUOTE] You guys are "picking" things to complain to me about. So i said "MY DAY" one time. Really? None of you have never said that? Woopdie Freakin Doo. MY DAY MY DAY MY DAY. <strong>Call me a SNOB but I don't have time, after the invites go out and they send back their whoever is coming paper, to check up to ask how your relationship is going.</strong> That is why I asked to begin with if there was a way to get around this. I am not trying to hurt peoples feelings, I obviously love everyone coming to my wedding and that is why they are invited. I wasn't being nasty, i wasn't being rude, or cocky i was just ASKING. i thought that was what this blog was for..and i'm sorry for people who are sick of the "venting" ..why did you come into my post then? it says "venting" on it....Oh thats right, to make you feel better. I am from philly. We dont talk like a-holes, it isn't just MY day. All of our guys here are gorgeous. Everyone's names are going to be on the invites. Corey should dump his girlfriend. Anything else??? Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE] ALSO - the bolded part? If they send in that Jane is coming as a guest for John, then John and Jane should have been on the invitation and if Jane decides not to come, John doesn't get to choose a fill in date. You don't need to check up on people's relationships up until the day of your wedding. That's silly.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_very-good-friend-and-a-witch-sorryvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:82446bc0-f81e-4666-b1b0-00dd41a14157Post:dd1903a7-a879-4d49-85e9-51f2cffa4087">Re: Very good friend and a WITCH! Sorry..Vent!</a>: [QUOTE] You guys are "picking" things to complain to me about. So i said "MY DAY" one time. Really? None of you have never said that? Woopdie Freakin Doo. MY DAY MY DAY MY DAY. Call me a SNOB but <strong>I don't have time, after the invites go out and they send back their whoever is coming paper, to check up to ask how your relationship is going</strong>. That is why I asked to begin with if there was a way to get around this. I am not trying to hurt peoples feelings, I obviously love everyone coming to my wedding and that is why they are invited. I wasn't being nasty, i wasn't being rude, or cocky i was just ASKING. i thought that was what this blog was for..and i'm sorry for people who are sick of the "venting" ..why did you come into my post then? it says "venting" on it....Oh thats right, to make you feel better. I am from philly. We dont talk like a-holes, it isn't just MY day. All of our guys here are gorgeous. Everyone's names are going to be on the invites. Corey should dump his girlfriend. Anything else??? Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
I was actually with you on the whole "and guest" thing because I did put and guest on a couple people I knew names of their SOs for various reasons. I know it's not appropriate, but that is one of my lax etiquitte things.
But, I don't get the bolded part of your statement. You don't HAVE to follow up with these people after the invitations go out. All of the research or whatever happens before that. If they send back someone's name, you assume that's who they're bringing. I'd assume they'd tell you or you'd otherwise know if plans changed.
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It is my day and my fiance's day. And that's not rude to say. That's what I saved all my money for isn't it? Yes, I am taking peoples feelings into consideration , but in the end I'm doing what is best for me and my fiancé bc it is mine and his day. I'm not a princess, if you think that than you obviously don't know me. I'm all up for peoples opinions but I don't do rude. And SOME not all are being rude.
And calling someone a witch is not a religious slur. If I said she was being " a wicken" then that would be... If you say that then books titled "the witch and me" or "the girl that wanted to be a witch" are religious slurs. I think you are reaching a little bit on that one... But that's just my opinion and everyone is giving their opinion on here aren't they?
Re: Very good friend and a Not nice girl! Sorry..Vent!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Very good friend and a WITCH! Sorry..Vent! : Check out some other threads on this board and you'll see why this is a terrible idea. If someone is in a relationship, you should really include the name of their significant others. For real.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>Well, I guess this just answered it! I might have to give my mother an etiquette lesson ;)</div>
thank you, everyone for all of your advice on Corey's situation. You are right, it is his problem not mine.
[QUOTE]I know, but I have 250 people coming. <strong>I can't keep track of people who are dating for 2 months and might not be together at the time of my wedding</strong>. So I am sticking with people who are engaged and married on the invites. I don't know what I will be doing as far as table place settings..Maybe i'll put the names on there!
Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
You know her name. She will blow a gasket if you call her "Guest"....and she'll blow it on Corey.
How many of you 250 guests have SOs that you truly don't know the names of? Just call them (or have FI help and split the list into 2) so you can make it a bit more personable. Your guests will appreciate it.
I'm doing Team in Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!
[QUOTE]I am putting all married\engaged couples as their names on the invites...she will be "corey and guest" because they aren't married or engaged. It is not anything against her or corey it is how its going to be for everyone.
Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
K, I'm late to the party here, but this part I had to speak on. Put the name if you know the name. I was with my FI for SIX years before we became engaged, and had we been invited as Name + Guest, it would have been BEYOND insulting. Some people are engaged after a few months, that doesn't make their relationship anymore meaningful than mine was. If you don't know the name b/c you have never met and didn't realize someone was in a relationship, that is fine, but since you know her name, this seems a deliberate insult.
thanks, Myname1234. I'll look into it:) my mom just did my sister's wedding and she knows what she is doing so i'll see what she says!
Rachers- so everyone you have with a date you put both their names on the invite and the place setting?
[QUOTE]Thats true, MiksChick! <strong>I would put you in the catagory as "serious" though</strong>, in which you would get a name with yours. I will have to look into this..Apparently it's a bigger deal then i thought!
Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
ALSO, you can't categorize other people's relationships. I know you aren't meaning to, but I knew FI was the one right away, so we were "serious" pretty much from the very beginning. If you know the name, put it on the invite, period...even if its a new relationship.
I TOTALLY get wondering if people would break up and then you send the invites to them and their ex, or between invites and wedding they break up and then you've invited the ex and not a new guest...its all a bit confusing. For those newer relationships, I left the envelopes blank until right before I send them so I can address them with the most current information. There are only a few of them, and if they happen to break up between my invite and the RSVP, I will make sure they know they can bring someone else.
[QUOTE]Rachers- so everyone you have with a date you put both their names on the invite and the place setting?
Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
I plan on doing this. On my RSVP I put a blank for names so I can make my place cards accordingly. If they just put the one name and RSVP 2 and I don't know that they have a s/o, I will put "John Doe + Guest"
[QUOTE]I know, but I have 250 people coming. I can't keep track of people who are dating for 2 months and might not be together at the time of my wedding. So I am sticking with people who are engaged and married on the invites. I don't know what I will be doing as far as table place settings..Maybe i'll put the names on there!
Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
This is where I got my "I'm too busy to keep up with it" thing. Do you just not keep track of your friends when you have nothing going on? With the world of Facebook I pretty much know if any of my friends are dating people and what the significant other's first/last names are.
I'm doing Team in Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!
I'm doing Team in Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!
[QUOTE]Well i figured everyone would know i meant to say the other word that rhymes with it....
Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
Still not ok. Those are 2 entirely different meanings. You're essentially using a religion as a slur.
You guys are "picking" things to complain to me about. So i said "MY DAY" one time. Really? None of you have never said that? Woopdie Freakin Doo. MY DAY MY DAY MY DAY. Call me a SNOB but I don't have time, after the invites go out and they send back their whoever is coming paper, to check up to ask how your relationship is going. That is why I asked to begin with if there was a way to get around this. I am not trying to hurt peoples feelings, I obviously love everyone coming to my wedding and that is why they are invited. I wasn't being nasty, i wasn't being rude, or cocky i was just ASKING. i thought that was what this blog was for..and i'm sorry for people who are sick of the "venting" ..why did you come into my post then? it says "venting" on it....Oh thats right, to make you feel better.
I am from philly. We dont talk like a-holes, it isn't just MY day. All of our guys here are gorgeous. Everyone's names are going to be on the invites. Corey should dump his girlfriend. Anything else???
[QUOTE] You guys are "picking" things to complain to me about. So i said "MY DAY" one time. Really? None of you have never said that? Woopdie Freakin Doo. MY DAY MY DAY MY DAY. Call me a SNOB but I don't have time, after the invites go out and they send back their whoever is coming paper, to check up to ask how your relationship is going. That is why I asked to begin with if there was a way to get around this. I am not trying to hurt peoples feelings, I obviously love everyone coming to my wedding and that is why they are invited. I wasn't being nasty, i wasn't being rude, or cocky i was just ASKING. i thought that was what this blog was for..and i'm sorry for people who are sick of the "venting" ..why did you come into my post then? it says "venting" on it....Oh thats right, to make you feel better. I am from philly. We dont talk like a-holes, it isn't just MY day. All of our guys here are gorgeous. Everyone's names are going to be on the invites. Corey should dump his girlfriend. Anything else???
Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well, this isn't a blog, it's a message board - and it's cool to vent. But you need to be ready for people to respond to your vents. That's what happens. I came into this post to try to help you out - because, you see, that's what people do on message boards. Help other people out. But then I saw "MY DAY" and it made my "Princess" radar go off. Just remember that you are the host and you are hosting people. You need to take everyone's feelings into consideration. Not just yours. It it not just "your" day.</div>
I'm doing Team in Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!
[QUOTE] You guys are "picking" things to complain to me about. So i said "MY DAY" one time. Really? None of you have never said that? Woopdie Freakin Doo. MY DAY MY DAY MY DAY. <strong>Call me a SNOB but I don't have time, after the invites go out and they send back their whoever is coming paper, to check up to ask how your relationship is going.</strong> That is why I asked to begin with if there was a way to get around this. I am not trying to hurt peoples feelings, I obviously love everyone coming to my wedding and that is why they are invited. I wasn't being nasty, i wasn't being rude, or cocky i was just ASKING. i thought that was what this blog was for..and i'm sorry for people who are sick of the "venting" ..why did you come into my post then? it says "venting" on it....Oh thats right, to make you feel better. I am from philly. We dont talk like a-holes, it isn't just MY day. All of our guys here are gorgeous. Everyone's names are going to be on the invites. Corey should dump his girlfriend. Anything else???
Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
ALSO - the bolded part? If they send in that Jane is coming as a guest for John, then John and Jane should have been on the invitation and if Jane decides not to come, John doesn't get to choose a fill in date. You don't need to check up on people's relationships up until the day of your wedding. That's silly.
I'm doing Team in Training for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society!
[QUOTE] You guys are "picking" things to complain to me about. So i said "MY DAY" one time. Really? None of you have never said that? Woopdie Freakin Doo. MY DAY MY DAY MY DAY. Call me a SNOB but <strong>I don't have time, after the invites go out and they send back their whoever is coming paper, to check up to ask how your relationship is going</strong>. That is why I asked to begin with if there was a way to get around this. I am not trying to hurt peoples feelings, I obviously love everyone coming to my wedding and that is why they are invited. I wasn't being nasty, i wasn't being rude, or cocky i was just ASKING. i thought that was what this blog was for..and i'm sorry for people who are sick of the "venting" ..why did you come into my post then? it says "venting" on it....Oh thats right, to make you feel better. I am from philly. We dont talk like a-holes, it isn't just MY day. All of our guys here are gorgeous. Everyone's names are going to be on the invites. Corey should dump his girlfriend. Anything else???
Posted by Laurstar31[/QUOTE]
I was actually with you on the whole "and guest" thing because I did put and guest on a couple people I knew names of their SOs for various reasons. I know it's not appropriate, but that is one of my lax etiquitte things.
But, I don't get the bolded part of your statement. You don't HAVE to follow up with these people after the invitations go out. All of the research or whatever happens before that. If they send back someone's name, you assume that's who they're bringing. I'd assume they'd tell you or you'd otherwise know if plans changed.
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