I agree with Deborah2121. This is your wedding and the people you choose should have no problem adhering to what you want in your wedding within reason. I think it is great that you have given them the freedom to select a dress that they like with minor restrictions. How many weddings have you been in where the dresses are uniform, you have no choice at all in what you will wear, and you can never really wear the dress again unless you alter it in some kind of way? Well I have been in a couple of weddings and presently the dresses have not been used in years. So you are not being a bridezilla! I'm planning my wedding for October 2010 and I am going out to select a couple of styles that will be knee length, what I think would be appropriate for the different body types and what I think my MOH and BMs can wear again. This is my day and I will be fair but stay true to myself and what I want. Good luck!
This is not making you a bridezilla... It used to be that the bride picked the dress and if you were a bridesmaid you had to deal. I know these days, many brides like to give their girls options. In my opinion you are completely within your rights and not at all a bridezilla.
I picked the color I wanted and then picked 4 or 5 styles I liked. I had them try them on to see what styles looked best on each, I wanted them to all wear the same style but I knew this would be hard. My BM and MOH range from 5'3" to 6'2" and size 2 to size 22.... The dresses we picked are strapless with attachable straps, I told them for the ceremony I'd like everyone to eith have straps, or not have straps, but that after pictures they can wear it how ever they are comfortable. I don't think what you are asking is too much! And I think it's good that you are considering thier body types! I was in a wedding a few year back and we were forced to wear something uncomfortable and to flattering and it was awful. You are not being a bridezilla....
No I don't think its bridezillaish. Just don't say must and you will be fine. Tell them you want them to have whatever dress they want but theres a few things that you want to be uniform. Like knee length, straps or strap and the color. That really leaves alot for them to choose from. There's some realy cool stuff out there.
Your requests don't make you a bridezilla at all. You are the bride and it's your day so while I agree on letting them choose a dress that they like and will be happy with, you have to like it too! These dresses will be in your wedding photos forever so it should be what you like. You aren't making an unreasonable demand. You gave them a color, told them what length you prefer as well as letting them know you'd like it to have straps. They get to pick from there. I think you're being wise on the style too if you have "top heavy" girls. You do them no justice putting them in a dress that doesn't flatter their figure or make them uncomfy all day n night if they have to worry about things slipping low! If they're all your girls, they'll want you to be happy and will happily comply with your wishes
I agree that you are not being a Bridezilla!!! However I do agree that you need to be very explicit in your desires!!!! Like the women metioned about the halter top dress and big breasts... You do not want your guest staring at that more than they are staring at you, let alone how it will make your wedding look...
I gave my bridesmaids very explicit instructions, but politely!!!! You may even want to call a meeting and share with them how you envision your wedding day... This will also make them feel more involved as well. It will also show them that you do care about there needs as well by being upfront and honest about your desires. Dont be in a rush to toss outthere ideas and listen to what they say even though you may not want to hear it. Rmember that they are also shelling out a good amount of money for there attire, and dont forget the gifts for your shower and wedding and the bachelorettes party... Whether you expect thess or not.
BM's Expectations: floor length modest flattering your body type in colors I choose before they buy it I want to see it on them (lets all be honest here... we dont want thewm looking better than we do!!!)
As a well endowed bride wearing a strapless wedding gown I have to say that to limit their choices based on their chest size is inappropriate. If anything, like above, there are styles that might be even worse such as a halter style. If you are allowing them to choose their dress then truly allow them to choose it for their body types. I personally hate spaghetti straps because they either do nothing, fall off or dig in. It's the cut of the dress overall and the good tailoring that make the dress work in the end.
When my sister got married a few years ago, she gave the exact same guidelines (color, not strapless, and length) and everyone was perfectly fine with it. I am getting married in July 2011 and I plan to have the same guidelines. A lot of strapless dresses have optional spaghetti straps and even if it doesn't state that option, they can usually be added, so it doesn't limit their choices. You can also present it as a few guidelines so that there is some continuity, but they can pick the specific style that they are most comfortable in. If anyone gives you are hard time, you can always remind them that at least they have some say in the matter, not all bridesmaids are that lucky. Good Luck!
Why do we worry if we're being a "bridezilla" by asking for what we want in OUR wedding? I'm only having 5 women in the wedding party. I picked the color, the length and sent everyone to the same place for their dresses but allowed them to find the dress that best fits their shape - and they MUST try it on. I don't need anyone showing up with an "assumed size fit" on the day of the wedding. My MOH is very petite and so she picked a strapless gown - perfect for her. For everyone else, I specified that the dress have some sort of straps: spaghetti, halter, grecian - SOMETHING. The Matron of Honor will also have a sheer shawl. Good luck!
Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life. - Richard Bach
I don't think it is too over- the -top. I've worked in bridal for a very long time and my only concern with what limitations you've set is that fact that unless the dresses all come from the same manufacture- you cannot be guarenteed dye lots- which means that each dress may be just a bit different in color. Most the time, with just the naked eye this wouldn't be noticeable because of movement and shadowing; however, in pictures it wil be really noticeable that one might have a different undertone to it. For example. some apple reds can have a rust/brown undertone and some have more of a pink undertone. I would chose a manufacture that you want (mori lee has BM dresses under $130) and pick the color and fabri and then let them chose from the styles that come in that color--- keep in mind a satin dress will look much deeper and richer than a chiffon dress.
You are certainly NOT a bridezilla - actually quite the opposite if you're letting them choose their own dresses!!!! I think all of the "rules" you're thinking about are very normal and very reasonable and your BMs will be excited to have the freedom to choose their own but still have what you want on your big day! Is the no strapless thing because your dress is strapless? I wouldn't want my BMs wearing the same cut as my dress either if that's the case! Good luck
Strapless often works best for heavier busted girls when fitted properly. (Especially the ones that go straight across the chest rather than sweetheart). I might rethink the strapless thing if I were you. Flatter chested girls will have the most trouble "holding up" a strapless dress.
I dont think you are being unreasonable at all. you know that the colors should be very similar and similar lengths if you want them too. you have good reason for asking for what you want and so i dont think thats too many rules. in fact some brides just pick the dress and make their BMs buy them wheather they like them or not. what you could do is also go shopping with them and just encourage them to get the dress you secretly like or would want them to wear. it will look supportive and be fun to go shopping. plus you both know that what the girls buy will be appropriate... so no money is wasted.
You are so NOT being a Bridezilla! I am getting married in 6 months and I was afraid of the same thing but whenever i asked my BM's to do something a certain way they were more than happy to oblidge. I feel that when you accept the invitation to be in a wedding you commit to doing things that the bride wants you to do. As long as you appraoch them in a respectful way and ask their opinions on some things you will be fine!!!
Color, length, and non-strapless does not make you a bridezilla at all. I am a bridesmaid in my cousin's upcoming wedding and your "rules" are exactly what she told us. We all found dresses at Davids Bridal - each bridesmaid was able to pick out her own dress as long as it was available in the right color, was cocktail length, and wasn't strapless and it worked out perfectly. Everyone was thrilled because we really can wear our dresses again because we picked them, but the bride is happy because she's still getting what she wants. A lot of weddings have the bridesmaids match exactly so your "rules" are more lenient than some. Congrats and good luck!
I love the look of different dresses that suit the styles of different BM's; however it's true that they need your guidance if they're to look as you wish on your big day. Those rules don't make you a bridezilla at all; but when they show up with dresses that you can't stand it may turn you into one! I would personally find a selection of dresses that I thought both encompassed their body types and styles as well as the conditions you've set. It's a bit more work for you but you do have time, and to be honest, nobody knows what is going to work for your wedding better than you; if you are unable to find dresses that are a compromise for everybody, then it's unlikely that they will be able to either! IMO...
Oh heaven's no, you are completely far from the bridezilla category. I've done the same with my bridesmaids and I'm getting married this year November 2010. I spoke with them in detail about the designs they choose, to ensure it's appropriate for the church. However, I gave them the freedom to also choose a design they're comfortable with, no one wants a grumpy bridal party!
So far it's been working out great and I always ask for their feed back, so I know everything is on track!
You are not a Bridezilla ga,l but I think that you are offering too many choices. I know that you feel you're limiting the BM's as it is, but your not. My wedding is in October of 2011 and the wedding experts in my area have told me to pick out three dresses that my BM's can choose from. I thought this was crazy until I found out the fabrics and styles that my maids wanted to wear. My goal was to have long satin formal dresses, but I have yet to receive one dress, with that fabric, that my maids prefer. However, all of their choices did include a longer length, a navy color, and straps which were also my preferences. I know that each of those preferences should have limited the brides maids selection towards a formal dress, but I was so very wrong in that assumption. So , if you know what you want than pick a few dresses that fit your style and let them make a choice. This will make your maids feel like they have a say in the type of dress that they want, but will keep in tune with your vision of the wedding.
The major type of dress out there is strapless. The dress designers are giving the seamstresses more money. That is the whole point of strapless, so that the person has to get it perfectly sized to their exact body type so that they aren't tugging at the dress all day. Realistically, you are saving your bridesmaids tons of money if they must have straps. I have been in 7 weddings and my only stipulation for my own gown was that it had to have straps (I loose weight easily in the summer and didn't want my dress altered a week before or falling off)
Your stipulations are NOT bridezilla-ish. As I said, Ive been a bridesmaid 7 times and the only time I thought the person was bridezilla-ish was because of the price of all of it together. other than that, bridesmaids want to help make your day special, thats what its all about!!!
I also agree not to land on anything for sure until you are a bit closer to the date. I have a short engagement and ive already changed my mind a few times (thankfully before I told everyone) but it would help you out a bit. Tell your sister to look and give her ideas, but make sure you tell her you arent set yet, that way if something comes up you love, you do it, and if something comes up she loves, if she buys it, she keeps her receipt
Your not being Bridezilla at all. This is a totally reasonable request. I am doing the same.
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I watch Bridezillas regularly over at my soon-to-be's house cuz he has dish network, and lemme tell you honey, those women are insane....The day is all about you, and your vision is what is important. You know what is best, and at least you are giving them choices.....you go girl!!
I definately do not think that this is to much. This is your day and everything should go just as you want it. When they agreed to be a bridesmaid they agreed for the whole package. I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
abosolutely not. you're letting the choose anytrhing they want, with your approval. dang it's better than my sister did for me..not that i'm saying she was a bridezilla.. no i think that's VERY reasonable.
totally NOT bridezilla at all. I think it's actually going above and beyond by having them pick the style they want given a specific length, giving them color/price options. I basically picked the designer I liked b/c of the material, in my head knew of the dress i liked, had them try on a bunch of options just for fun, then inevitably went with the style I wanted. They really seemed to not care, especially b/c I didn't make them come back to try on more, etc. It was easy for them. And I totally picked the color I wanted. I definitely took help from my sister, my MOH, but that's b/c I trust her opinion.
Summary: SO not a bridzilla and makes you even nicer for worrying about that.
I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. If you feel like asking for strapless dress is limiting your BMs search then they can always look at strapless dresses and have them take the extra fabric from the alterations to make straps. A lot of times those straps that should be added for larger chested woman can be removable so if others without big chests don't want them then they can be simply taken off. Good luck!
I dont think your being a bridzilla. you are making sure you have a uniformed wedding look that all your BMs can feel comfortable and unique in what they are wearing. i think you are being very practical and its okay to be a bridezilla on some things. it is your wedding after all. just dont go over board and remember its about your guy too. so make sure you ask for his input on things.
Absolutely not! I did the exact same thing, except I only gave them one swatch.(that was really nice of you to give them multiple choices from different designers) I also said "somewhere around the knee" and no hooker cleavage. I think you're "rules" are completely within reason, plus it's your day! You should have what you want on the one day that you're allowed be selfish and not apologize for it!
I do not think that makes you a "bridezilla". I am pretty much doing the exact same thing. I am in a wedding as well this year that is doing the EXACT same thing as you. I loved the idea, we get to pick our own dress it just has to be her color and tea lenth or shorter. I was in a wedding that picked my dress and forced us to wear the same shoes as well. You are not being controlling.
But just FYI, I did it because I really did not care much about what they were wearing and I wanted them to look different. It turned out to be the biggest headache ever. They are going to ask you 20 times to look at dresses and approve. If you are doing this because you really do not want to worry about it or you want them to find a dress they like...be prepared for lots of questions and having to look at a lot of dresses. To be honest, if I did it all over (and my wedding is in May 2010-started planing April 2009) I would just pick the dresses for them. It would have been a lot easier on me.
Re: How many "rules" make you a bridezilla?
~Tiffany
Your requests don't make you a bridezilla at all. You are the bride and it's your day so while I agree on letting them choose a dress that they like and will be happy with, you have to like it too! These dresses will be in your wedding photos forever so it should be what you like. You aren't making an unreasonable demand. You gave them a color, told them what length you prefer as well as letting them know you'd like it to have straps. They get to pick from there. I think you're being wise on the style too if you have "top heavy" girls. You do them no justice putting them in a dress that doesn't flatter their figure or make them uncomfy all day n night if they have to worry about things slipping low! If they're all your girls, they'll want you to be happy and will happily comply with your wishes
I gave my bridesmaids very explicit instructions, but politely!!!! You may even want to call a meeting and share with them how you envision your wedding day... This will also make them feel more involved as well. It will also show them that you do care about there needs as well by being upfront and honest about your desires. Dont be in a rush to toss outthere ideas and listen to what they say even though you may not want to hear it. Rmember that they are also shelling out a good amount of money for there attire, and dont forget the gifts for your shower and wedding and the bachelorettes party... Whether you expect thess or not.
BM's Expectations:
floor length
modest
flattering your body type
in colors I choose
before they buy it I want to see it on them (lets all be honest here... we dont want thewm looking better than we do!!!)
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Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life. - Richard Bach
Color, length, and non-strapless does not make you a bridezilla at all. I am a bridesmaid in my cousin's upcoming wedding and your "rules" are exactly what she told us. We all found dresses at Davids Bridal - each bridesmaid was able to pick out her own dress as long as it was available in the right color, was cocktail length, and wasn't strapless and it worked out perfectly. Everyone was thrilled because we really can wear our dresses again because we picked them, but the bride is happy because she's still getting what she wants. A lot of weddings have the bridesmaids match exactly so your "rules" are more lenient than some. Congrats and good luck!
Good luck and congratulations!
So far it's been working out great and I always ask for their feed back, so I know everything is on track!
L-MS
Your stipulations are NOT bridezilla-ish. As I said, Ive been a bridesmaid 7 times and the only time I thought the person was bridezilla-ish was because of the price of all of it together. other than that, bridesmaids want to help make your day special, thats what its all about!!!
I also agree not to land on anything for sure until you are a bit closer to the date. I have a short engagement and ive already changed my mind a few times (thankfully before I told everyone) but it would help you out a bit. Tell your sister to look and give her ideas, but make sure you tell her you arent set yet, that way if something comes up you love, you do it, and if something comes up she loves, if she buys it, she keeps her receipt
Good luck!
Summary: SO not a bridzilla and makes you even nicer for worrying about that.
But just FYI, I did it because I really did not care much about what they were wearing and I wanted them to look different. It turned out to be the biggest headache ever. They are going to ask you 20 times to look at dresses and approve. If you are doing this because you really do not want to worry about it or you want them to find a dress they like...be prepared for lots of questions and having to look at a lot of dresses. To be honest, if I did it all over (and my wedding is in May 2010-started planing April 2009) I would just pick the dresses for them. It would have been a lot easier on me.