Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..

Lolyalyssa · January 2010

You owe him an apology for not trusting him and then he'll stop acting WEIRD.

Lola Minnie · January 2010

hahaha ECG! I like your comments!

That was a great point about how he wouldn't hire a prostitution so he could go anywhere anyway.

mscutieri · January 2010

To be quite honest, I agree with everyone about it being a trust issue.

I was actually suggesting to my FI to go to Vegas since I have been and he never has, but he keeps saying no. Whatever he does, he knows that we are trusting of each other and there is no doubt in my mind he will behave.

mscutieri · January 2010

...and would you want him chapperoning your bachelorette party?

mbcdefg · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:588e9664-9a46-4f96-8a0d-9595c085d79f">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]LOL Lola - I agree with being open. I've definitly been the one to hear "Emily..please promise me you won't tell Sara we're going here!!" Why not? It's like ridiculous. They're gonna go whether you "APPROVE" it or not, so why not be honest?

Posted by ecg129[/QUOTE]

I've gotten this request from guy friends, too. And my thought process usually goes something like:

"Why has your wife got you so _pussywhipped?"
"If she's got no reason to distrust you, then why are you lying to her?"
"If you're lying because she 'won't allow you' to go if you tell her the truth, then why did you marry such a controlling jealous biitch in the first place?"

kle0113 · January 2010

I honestly find this to be hilarious. I don't see what either one of your issues is with Vegas or Montreal. There are strip clubs all over the place and if your FI wanted to go to one he would. He does not have to tell you what, or where he is going ever. Is it nice that he does absoulty, but he does not have too.

I honestly think both of you have some insecurity issues or something. The man asked YOU to MARRY HIM for a REASON. He loves YOU not some chick that is dancing for him for fun or to pay the bills.

I have to agree with caketime also...I think strip clubs are pretty funny also and I have been in them.

I really want to know what the issue is with Vegas? Have either of you ever been?

ecg129 · January 2010

I don't know why this topic is so hillarious and addicting to me all at once. MBC you are dead on.

I had another thought right now though,

How would you feel if he told you where you can and can not go? How would you feel if he came and watched you like a hawk at your bachelorette party?

I would feel pissed!!!!

kewltif · January 2010

You girls sound utterly RIDICULOUS! I am having trouble reading this. I cannot even imagine what a crazy-ass girlfriend you would look like going to Vegas to chaperone the trip.

I have been to ALL of the places mentioned in this post: Vegas, Cancun, Montreal and Miami and I was just fine. If anything, I think Cancun was way more wild than Vegas (and I have been to Cancun several times during both spring break and off-peak season).

I have a lot of male friends, and I can PROMISE you that your FI's friends hate you. They probably talk a whole lot of smack on you. If anything, behaving like this, is only fueling the fire and will make them more likely to want your FI to misbehave at his bachelor party.

If he wants to cheat he will. If he doesn't, then he won't.

kle0113 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:0b0c6d33-50c9-4c5e-bdaf-a730aaab5ace">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long.. : I've gotten this request from guy friends, too. And my thought process usually goes something like: "Why has your wife got you so _pussywhipped?" "If she's got no reason to distrust you, then why are you lying to her?" "If you're lying because she 'won't allow you' to go if you tell her the truth, then why did you marry such a controlling jealous biitch in the first place?"
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

ARGH...this happens all the time! I am always like what is his wife's/FI's issue. I actually tease MH all the time and ask him if he needs some singles from me.

cher1980 · January 2010

i agree w/ all PP - Vegas is only as crazy as you want it to be - there arent strippers flying at you and waking up in your hotel rooms. And staying at a diff hotel doesnt mean anything - no one really stays and parties at their own hotels.

Hubby and i just got back - he came w/ me on a business trip - we went to the Playboy club @ the Palms and Moon Night Club - and i wanted to take his pic w/ the playboy bunnies and he said no

Guys will be guys in any bar, any state, any zip code...im sorry you said something already b/c if you hadnt of made it a big deal, then he prob would have thought how awesome is my future wife! But "letting" him go now is not the same...

Id be jealous and want to go to vegas too and at that point id prob go but on seperate weekends...

if you really know your FI, you will know exactly what he's going to do.

Let him have some fun

you will be too!

kewltif · January 2010

You also said that you turned around and said, "Fine, OK. You can go." and now he's acting weird.

Of course he's acting weird.

You killed the dream! He knows that you don't really want him to go, and if he does he'll be in deep shyt.

USER876 · January 2010

Have to laugh reading this post. If he wanted to cheat, it wouldn't matter if there were any strip clubs or legal prost. around, he would just hit up a club and pick someone up. Why pay for it.

cher1980 · January 2010

yep! Exactly tif!

Thats like when ur at the buffet and its dessert time - and i want to go get something and hubby says do you really need that and then i say forget it, i just wanted a bite, and he's like fine go get it then - and then u sit there in shame w/ ur head down cuz you really want to go get that lil brownie bite but feel bad getting it....The chocolate dream is ruined!

LOL

Jersey Girl In Love · January 2010

Even though I'm in the minority, I agree with Christine about the no-stripclub thing. I think they're disgusting, degrading, and why should my fiance or I pay to look at and get grinded on by someone who's half-naked when we have each other?? I honestly don't think it's "fun" at all like you all are saying.

Like Christine, it's not an insecurity or trust thing for me and, thankfully, my fiance completely respects my feelings and he agrees with me.

Crazy4u - I don't think there's anything wrong with being honest, open, and comfortable enough with your fiance to tell him your feelings about it. If he respects you enough, he won't let it bother him and he'll realize that there are worse things in the world than not going to a strip club for his bachelor party. I don't think that it's an overreaction or wrong when someone tells their fiance, husband, or wife to not go to a stripclub.

cherylanddan0706 · January 2010

Ahhhh fricken bb posting it sucks I have so much to stay but my little thumbs hurt typing angry... Grow up, trust your FI or figure out what your issue is! How are you people getting married if you don't trust them that's a BAD start! And Mish, can we PUHLEASE chaperone E's party next month? Augh

cher1980 · January 2010

you could have just given him the hangover speech - remember that is someones daughter grinding on you! lol

kewltif · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:144c9099-f402-46d7-bc38-94bf706acff5">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]Even though I'm in the minority, I agree with Christine about the no-stripclub thing. I think they're disgusting, degrading, and why should my fiance or I pay to look at and get grinded on by someone who's half-naked when we have each other?? I honestly don't think it's "fun" at all like you all are saying. Like Christine, it's not an insecurity or trust thing for me and, thankfully, my fiance completely respects my feelings and he agrees with me. Crazy4u - I don't think there's anything wrong with being honest, open, and comfortable enough with your fiance to tell him your feelings about it. If he respects you enough, he won't let it bother him and he'll realize that there are worse things in the world than not going to a strip club for his bachelor party. I don't think that it's an overreaction or wrong when someone tells their fiance, husband, or wife to not go to a stripclub.
Posted by Jersey Girl In Love[/QUOTE]

I'm hardly "pro-strip club." If DH was hanging out there every weekend then we'd have some problems. In the event of a bachelor party though, give me a break! It's a right of passage. If it's something that he's not into, that's completely fine, but I feel like a lot of times girls pressure guys into saying that. I have seen so many guys who were all about strip clubs get girlfriends and suddenly start saying things like, "It's totally disgusting. I hate them. It's demoralizing to women." Hmm... last year you were a kid in a candy store and this year you couldn't even fathom attending. It's like I can literally hear their girlfriend/wife's words coming straight through their mouths.

mscutieri · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:144c9099-f402-46d7-bc38-94bf706acff5">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]Even though I'm in the minority, I agree with Christine about the no-stripclub thing. I think they're disgusting, degrading, and why should my fiance or I pay to look at and get grinded on by someone who's half-naked when we have each other?? I honestly don't think it's "fun" at all like you all are saying. Like Christine, it's not an insecurity or trust thing for me and, thankfully, my fiance completely respects my feelings and he agrees with me. Crazy4u - I don't think there's anything wrong with being honest, open, and comfortable enough with your fiance to tell him your feelings about it. If he respects you enough, he won't let it bother him and he'll realize that there are worse things in the world than not going to a strip club for his bachelor party. I don't think that it's an overreaction or wrong when someone tells their fiance, husband, or wife to not go to a stripclub.
Posted by Jersey Girl In Love[/QUOTE]

But she did not state that she asked him not to go to a strip club while he's there. She initially told him that he can't go. There is so much to do in Vegas and my guy friends seriously go and spend the entire time either eating or at the poker tables.

I respect her the op for not wanting him to go to strip clubs and thinking it's a waste of money. But to worry about him cheating is an entirely seperate issue -- that's an issue within the relationship itself and like other people said, if he wants to/is going to cheat, he can do it anywhere.

caketime · January 2010

JerseyGirl you are forgetting one main point. She said no to Vegas and yes to AC. Last I checked (and someone correct me if I am wrong) AC has strip clubs.

akmackay · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:30484064-1f96-454c-8bba-7809dab2a470">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]Caketime: Cancun Spring Break season is like what you described.. but during the non-peak season it's not so skanky. I just made a suggestion of Cancun as a party city .. he can go to any party destination he'd like, Miami.. Cancun.. etc. with the exception of Montreal (because of Legalized Prostituion) and Vegas because of the quantity of Strip Clubs (and quality as in Spearmint Rhino).
Posted by misschristinec[/QUOTE]

If they want to go to a strip club they will go regardless if there is 1 or 100... that's a terrible excuse for not allowing him to go to Vegas.

mbcdefg · January 2010

I personally just don't get why you (collective "you") would marry a man that enjoys going to strip clubs in the first place, if you have such a big problem with them.

I wouldn't mind if FI wanted to go with his buddies for a bachelor party or something just to have a fun time. Going every other weekend is ridiculous, but I wouldn't marry a guy who thought that was a good thing to do.

As long as you're on the same page, then if "forbidding" him works for both of you, great. Like PPs said, it's all about communication and trust and being open with each other.

However, personally, I don't get how "forbidding" my FI to do anything is going to make a difference. If he wants to do something to the point where I have to tell him that he cannot do it, then that wouldn't make me feel any better even if he upheld my wishes. Because in his heart he still wants to do it, and IMO forbidding him doesn't solve anything. If he told me that he had feelings for some other girl that he saw at work everyday and I forbade him to talk to her or look at her and he was faithful to that promise, it wouldn't matter to me because he still feels that attraction. He didn't avoid her on his own because he thought it was the right thing to do, I had to tell him to do it. (hypothetical)

mscutieri · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:0684e668-8c09-4526-970a-d01e0290e92d">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]Ahhhh fricken bb posting it sucks I have so much to stay but my little thumbs hurt typing angry... Grow up, trust your FI or figure out what your issue is! How are you people getting married if you don't trust them that's a BAD start! And Mish, can we PUHLEASE chaperone E's party next month? Augh
Posted by cherylanddan0706[/QUOTE]

Why do you think i planned a girl's night in A.C.? So we could be as far away from them as possible.

...and you should hear some of the details for their evening -- i'll share when i come over tomorrow. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />

Lolyalyssa · January 2010

BTW most men are not going to cheat on their future wife in front of all their best guy friends and male family members a short time before the wedding.

And if he does, thank god it happened before the wedding so that you don't have to marry someone you can't trust!

YOU HAVE TO TRUST YOUR SPOUSES otherwise you spend your whole marriage having stupid fights like this and then when you are getting divorced you wonder why. Wouldn't you rather trust your spouse and enjoy your time together?

akmackay · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:b1d6c5c0-e406-4b63-a430-11be59d06e9a">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]i agree w/ all PP - Vegas is only as crazy as you want it to be - there arent strippers flying at you and waking up in your hotel rooms. Posted by cher1980[/QUOTE]

There AREN'T?! Damn... scratch that idea! ;)

VanessaB24 · January 2010

I want to see the uglies at these strip clubs! I've never been to one and I've been telling my FI i'll with him to one for 4 yrs....

kle0113 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:01d9639f-221f-4112-bcb2-4260526514eb">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long.. : But she did not state that she asked him not to go to a strip club while he's there. She initially told him that he can't go. There is so much to do in Vegas and my guy friends seriously go and spend the entire time either eating or at the poker tables. I respect her the op for not wanting him to go to strip clubs and thinking it's a waste of money. But to worry about him cheating is an entirely seperate issue -- that's an issue within the relationship itself and like other people said, if he wants to/is going to cheat, he can do it anywhere.
Posted by mscutieri[/QUOTE]

I had this same response written and something happened. Damn knot!

Well said Mishy...well said!!! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

LuckyBrideToBe0013 · January 2010

You and your FI are agreeing to be partners for the rest of your life, and you want to boss him around? You cannot and should not tell him what to do.

If you are uncomfortable with strip clubs, you should be able to tell him so and leave it at that. Obviously, if this was something he did on a routine basis then it is an issue for the two of you to work out.

A b-party is supposed to be a night to go out with your friends and have a great time. If his friends want to throw him a great party, be happy for him.

I told me FI to have a great time for his party. I asked he not sleep with anyone or bring anything back and -- most importantly -- not tell me a thing. I made this clear very early on, and I don't plan on bringing it up again. As far as I want to know, they are drinking at a bar.

You don't want him to resent you for holding him back in any aspect of his life. That could lead to him rebelling behind your back to feel like a man and like he has control. You are seriously insulting him and embarrassing him by your behavior and the slight is not going to go away after the ceremony.

I would recommend trying to have your party or something else while he is gone, so you are not obsessing over it. This sounds like it is more of an insecurity issue on your part, and it's not fair to bring him down.

akmackay · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:1d12b6d7-c3ca-4c9e-9bf8-74a3f184f9fe">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE] I told me FI to have a great time for his party. I asked he not sleep with anyone or bring anything back Posted by LuckyBrideToBe0013[/QUOTE]

Isn't this understood... particularly if you are in a committed relationship? Just seems odd you would have to tell him this for his b-party... what about every other night?

kpeteley · January 2010

"BTW most men are not going to cheat on their future wife in front of all their best guy friends and male family members a short time before the wedding."

I don't necessarily agree with this. No one wants to hear this, but FI has always been honest with me about guys he knows/is friends with. He went to a Bach Party for a guy he worked with (not anymore) in AC. Well they went Gambling, then some of the guys went to a strip club and then proceeded to bring back a prostitute to the hotel room where all of the guys were. FI being the lush that night passed out before they got back to the room. He found out the next day that at least 3 of the guys (one being the groom, another a married man) were screwing the prostitute in the other bed in the same room. They actually told FI they tried to wake him up so he could too. These are not FI's friends thank GOD and he no longer talks to them. I had no connection whatsoever to these guys or the women in their lives that I would have found any of this out. Oh and the married man told FI that he had his Bach the night before his wedding and also - screwed a stripper.

I am very lucky that FI and I have the same view on strip clubs for our bach parties etc. I also trust everyone that he has chosen to be a part of his Bach party. He will be going to AC and this doesn't bother me.

My point is that this stuff does happen, and to girls that trust their significant others. Both of these men are still married. If a woman doesn't like the idea of her FI going to a strip club for moral or other reasons then it's her decision. No she should not forbid him, but they should respect each others feelings and discuss it.

Trust is a completely different issue and I absolutely agree with all pp that if that it is what is going on in any relationship then some serious conversations need to happen ASAP.

mscutieri · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:1d12b6d7-c3ca-4c9e-9bf8-74a3f184f9fe">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]You don't want him to resent you for holding him back in any aspect of his life. That could lead to him rebelling behind your back to feel like a man and like he has control. You are seriously insulting him and embarrassing him by your behavior and the slight is not going to go away after the ceremony.
Posted by LuckyBrideToBe0013[/QUOTE]

*applause for the important and valid points*

Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..

Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..

Choose Another Board

Search Boards