Tacky?

cmzambon · March 2010

If you can, have the dinner's served by waitstaff. THAT will make it more "formal". You could have personalized "bibs" made (like red lobster) to ease any fears of mishaps. We are having a BBQ rehearsal party the night before. A down home party with homemade ice cream (a big gas powered machine that a friend takes to local fairs) for dessert. Our DJ has "Rock band" capabilities so fun should be had. I do support DO WHAT YOU WANT!! The only thing tacky I hear is others that aren't having their own wedding telling you what you should be doing on YOUR day! Live it up, lick your fingers and love your new hubby!

unbelievablyj · March 2010

I'm in Texas and BBQ is not tacky! Do what you want! You can set it up elegantly yet not be pretentious. I think it's a wonderful idea and your guests will have fun!

bnrbabe259 · March 2010

I think you should have what you want. Why not play it up a bit and get some "lobster-style" plastic bibs imprinted with something like, "Thanks for Coming to Our Big Oinkin' Wedding." I'm sure you can come up with something more clever, and guests can protect their own clothes as well.

brianabrad · March 2010

I agree with everyone. Do what you want. My finace and I are in the very early stages of planning our wedding for next summer and the one thing he has said is that he would love for us to serve BBQ, if at all possible. I have talked to several places and they said I would be totally surprised by how many people do serve BBQ at weddings.

My finace and I want our guest to have a good time and we are hoping that serving a BBQ dinner will help lighten the mood even more and ensure that everyone has a blast!

It's your wedding and your day! Have fun with it . . eat BBQ! One tip though . . make it something that people could eat with thier hands or with a fork . . give them that option. :-)

wpfenning · March 2010

We're doing a backyard wedding with a pig roast bbq. My brother-in-law has created a fantastic bbq sauce and everyone is really looking forward to smelling the food slow cooking all day while everyone prepares. We're planning a semi-formal attire ourselves and would prefer no jeans but definitely okay on the khaki's. I don't think that there is anything wrong with the bbq aspect even if you're doing the reception indoors. Just remember that if you're cooking something as large as a hog, while it'll definitely save you money (we'll be looking at less than 200.00 which includes all sides to feed 40), you will need access to the cooking location for several (depending on the size) hours prior to the ceremony/reception. I really like the idea of serving a scoop of the pulled pork on a bed of coleslaw! Good luck and have fun with it!

mrskantz · March 2010

ITS YOUR WEDDING!!! Do not let anyone tell you want to do or not to do. Its your day! Have fun with it!!!

kimberly_12779 · March 2010

I agree with AliciaW26... the guests will be eating for free. They don't have to eat if they don't like the menu options. If you want to go with BBQ then by all means, go with BBQ. It's YOUR day so it should be what YOU and your fiance want, not what everyone else wants. BBQ is not tacky. Plus girl, you are in the South! You know how we do it down here and BBQ is a delicacy! LOL

I agree with the others though, just be careful with your dress. I think dry cleaning will take care of the smell.

Good luck!

lisa.purdy · March 2010

An absolutely wonderful idea... in my opinion. I think that it is one of the best ways to help stay in budget with all the wedding planning and events that go one whether it's a formal or casual wedding. Have fun and remember it's Your Wedding, and it's what you and your "future" husband have grown up with.

KristyRon33 · March 2010

I say go BBQ. And, to stay away from picnic-ish, have the DJ play some Memphis Blues, or New Orleans Jazz while you are eating. That's not back yard bbq, that's a real life southern theme.

eowens23 · March 2010

I've been to two weddings where bbq (pulled pork) was served. Both were in North Carolina which is home to some of the best BBQ around. Neither were tacky. One was an indoor traditional (though not formal) reception and the other was an outside (but evening) reception. The food got compliments all around and the word tacky was NOT mentioned by anyone. Everyone thought it was delicious and looked forward to the meal once we knew it would be served. It's all in the presentation.

bsherricca · March 2010

I dont think it is necessarilly tacky u can have it done gourmet style and have it chopped and served as bite size pieces ....I'm from Jamaica and we have exotic weddings all the time and barbecue is often served I say go for it its ur day !

erinchaffee1983 · March 2010

I'm SICK of wondering what is tacky or not. The only people who define what is "tacky" are the ones who will be there. And, trust me, they're going to find something wrong with whichever way you choose to do it. So... GO FOR IT! Who cares what's "tacky"? It's not anyone's business but yours! Plus, they should just feel lucky to be eating good food on your dime!

Lewis08 · March 2010

Normal BBQ foods are not hot dogs and hamburgers. In the south we do it up right with Brisket/Sausage/Chicken. I say have what you want. We are having our wedding on golf course in just 30 days and our reception is in the backyard of a home on the course. It is a gorgeus and well landscaped venue. We are serving up some BBQ

janedoe1113a · March 2010

BBQ is becoming more and more popular. A lot of brides on the budget board are doing it because it's a great way to save money but still have tons of delicious food. We almost did BBQ, but we were able to get a fantastic price from another restaurant that we went with instead.

If you would serve me BBQ at your wedding, I would be a very happy camper.

saraandjonschmoopy · March 2010

My friend had pizza and wings for his wedding. While some people might consider that to be cheap, it was perfect for him. All growing up, the only thing he ever ate (literally, 3 times a week) was pizza and wings. If people know you and how much you and your fiance' love BBQ, they should see it as your wedding and your style. I say go for it (and maybe wear a bib for your dress hehe)

mmartin1023 · March 2010

Totally go with BBQ. I grew up on bbq as well and we have bbq at almost every one of the weddings we have in my family. It absolutley acceptable and not tacky. Even though it is bbq you can still make it classy. Most people like bbq so in my opinion you coukld never go wrong with it.

katieduffe · March 2010

I think it is totaly okay. We are having that for our wedding. we are even having cornbread, but my reception is in a barn too. I think it is a great idea and you should totally go for it.

Isis55 · March 2010

I don't eat BBQ myself, but if you both grew up eating it, it's sure your family likes it, it's not tacky, it's thoughtful food for you and your families. Enjoy your day. We're getting married in October, too! Have fun planning!!!!

jme35 · March 2010

bexter, she's not asking her guests to prepare it. They aren't going to smell like BBQ from the smell permeating their clothes unless they cover themselves in sauce, or self-appoint themselves the grill master.

We're doing a clambake, whiich will have BBQ chicken and ribs in addition to lobster and steamers. I think that unless your site is ultra-formal, you're absolutely fine (and I agree, it's all in the presentation!)

The feedback that I have gotten from our guests so far (we put it in the invite that we were having a clambake, in case people were strict vegetarians and required such a meail) is that people welcome "real food." They loved that it wasn't going to be a stuffy three-course meal, but instead something fun.

JulieB1974 · March 2010

I love the idea of barbecue for a wedding...the more personal the ideas the better as far as I'm concerned. If anyone tells you it's tacky then I would suggest telling them to keep their nose in their own business and that they are certainly more than welcome not to attend if they have an issue with it. My FH agrees that BBQ makes a personal statement. Adding a bit of a classy country theme might tie it all in together (I'm not talking hoe down and gingham, maybe using wildflowers or sunflowers, etc.). But remember it is YOUR wedding and :P to anyone who does not like it!

josh&jess2010 · March 2010

I would say if its a super casual wedding like outdoors and just sort of not "country" but western/southern ya.. but it seems like you want more of a formal wedding (just not over the top).

I went to a wedding that served bar-b-que but it was outdoors and very southern but I loved it.

If it's who you all are don't worry but if you're looking more toward getting something that fits the theme of your wedding and time of day more appropriately than ya!

princessofowasso · March 2010

Well we are picking between BBQ and Breakfast for Dinner for our reception. Both odd choices, I know but it truly is OUR wedding and no matter what we decide it will be presented beautifully. It comes down to what is important to YOU. The BBQ is what everyone in our Texas/Oklahoma families like and the breakfast is somewhat of a private joke between us and also a way to honor our grandmothers who all made the most AMAZING breakfasts. Who decides what is acceptable? Only you! If you are proud of your reception, everyone else will be too

As far as the dress... I don't think you plan on just sucking on some ribs like a popsicle so as long as you're pretty confident with your fork skills, you and everyone else should be fine. My sense of humor would say just get a cute piece of satin that matches your wedding colors to wear over your lap or tied around your neck while eating but thats just me... Good luck!

jinxywienke · March 2010

It all depends on you! If BBQ is what you want then do it! There are always ways to spice it up or little additions to make more "formal" if you'd like.

We are having a BBQ buffet at our reception, ribs, chicken, Mahi Mahi with salads and fruits etc. It it reflects US and that is what the day is all about. We are very laid back, fun loving people so everything about our wedding will be the same. The people who have heard some of the details immidiatly react "It's so you, we love it!". There are a few people who will probably think it's too casual for a wedding but they had their chance to have their day, this is OURS.

mrsgravestobe · March 2010

Not tacky at all! A lot of people do country-chic receptions. You could even do some really cute decor in the reception hall... think shabby chic. Your wedding should be about you and your hubby. If you want to serve deep fried Twinkies carney style, do it!

Tisha. · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:83419353-1dfc-47b9-a9b5-9b1ae602a5f2Post:fb779d58-9eff-470c-a003-837a670831ee">Re: Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think there's lots of was to jazz up bbq so it doesn't look like a jeans & flannel event! It's all in the presentation, right?
Posted by kaesha[/QUOTE]

THIS!

ostrowski382 · March 2010

I'd say go for it too! I'm having a traditional church ceremony, then we will be having a cookout reception. I was actually going to ask my dad to make a big pot of his famous Deer BBQ. As long as your guests know its going to be semi-casual, let them know they could bring something to change in to. Im going to get a reception dress so I don't have to wear my gown at the reception.

Good luck in what ever you decide, and congrats!

kateaburns · March 2010

Very tacky.

emilytegan · March 2010

as long as you're not grilling the food yourself and you don't have on a bib with a pig on it... i think its a fun idea!

we are having chicken and mac-n-cheese at our wedding bc I LOVE MAC-N-CHEESE!!!!

do what you feel is right

dearhart6 · March 2010

Have the BBQ! The day is about you and your husband to be, not the other people involved. I am sure that you will find great ways to make things a little more wedding-y if that's what people are having issues with. I think BBQ is a great idea and so long as you can deal with the possibilities of sauce on your dress (bring a tide to go pen), then you'll be fine.
Enjoy yourself, it's supposed to be one of the best days of your life and if that means BBQ to you and your fiance, go for it!

pindert · March 2010

BBQ: I assume you mean ribs. You could reduce the "mess" factor by using a dry rub instead of sauce, and just put the sauce on the table in little bowls, so people can add sauce to their liking. That way, those who are concerned about their clothing can skip the sauce. The ribs will still be juice, but not dripping.

And anyway, even if you do get some on your dress.... it's not as if you were planning to wear it again another time, right? ;-)

I suppose it's possible to have barbecued something-or-other that can be eaten with a fork instead of with your fingers. Maybe you could have your caterer BBQ pork shoulder (aka Boston Butt) and then cut it into chunks and simmer it for a while in BBQ sauce; that way, people could eat it with forks. It would also eliminate the big ear-to-ear sauce "smile" that people get all over their faces when they chaw on a rib.

There are definitely ways to "class it up" if you have your hearts set on BBQ...

Tacky?

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