Tuesday Night

JessAndTrav · July 2012

Late to the party, as usual. I would read up, but this thread took FOREVER to load for me.

Aryn, was your day end up ok today?

StefffiC · July 2012

Hi All! I'm back...

If we can't have kids we may adopt, I don't know. It's on the table. My first OB/GYN I talked to for Pre Conception gave me names of adoption agencies. She was hardcore cold hearted witch with no bedside manner.

sarabear23 · July 2012

Jess, it's taking forever to refresh for me. Driving me nuts.

ArynBaker · July 2012

Jess, It was a long long day. But around 8 I started drinking and it improved

I'm now texting a different guy I went to HS with who my friend and I were recently talking about how he is such a great guy and how we should reconnect. I'm KUI so if that didn't make sense, let me know.

ErinG93 · July 2012

Sometimes I want to adopt because our children would (most likely) not have my genetic disorder. I mean, it would some weird fuh-reaky odds for us to adopt a child with my disorder. If we have kids, it's 50/50 for every kid.

StefffiC · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:08923212-7631-4bf4-bda1-022fbf17e54c">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]Sometimes I want to adopt because our children would (most likely) not have my genetic disorder. I mean, it would some weird fuh-reaky odds for us to adopt a child with my disorder. If we have kids, it's 50/50 for every kid.
Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]

I don't know what your genetic disorder is, but if you haven't a genetic counselor may help you make decisions. Our insurance paid for genetic counseling, and I've had a little bit more done as part of a research study for brain tumors because we both have someone 1 generation back who died from a relatively rare tumor. I don't think I'm breeding quality, if I were a horse or dog I certainly wouldn't be bred - I'm knock kneed, poor disposition, and unhealthy. But, I want to try for one child.

We can't afford a surrogate out of pocket, and a surrogate would still have my issues. We could do donor eggs or we could adopt. Something may happen in the next year to make up our mind for us. Otherwise I intend to try to have one child and then be done.

pokepoke27 · July 2012

I think I'd like two children, but I'm not really sure. Our plan is to have the one child and then see how we feel after that. We might decide that one is enough, or we might decide to have another. I don't think I'd want more than two.

ErinG93 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:b9ce4ccf-958c-4e1c-b812-5797849fa685">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tuesday Night : I don't know what your genetic disorder is, but if you haven't a genetic counselor may help you make decisions. Our insurance paid for genetic counseling, and I've had a little bit more done as part of a research study for brain tumors because we both have someone 1 generation back who died from a relatively rare tumor. I don't think I'm breeding quality, if I were a horse or dog I certainly wouldn't be bred - I'm knock kneed, poor disposition, and unhealthy. But, I want to try for one child. We can't afford a surrogate out of pocket, and a surrogate would still have my issues. We could do donor eggs or we could adopt. Something may happen in the next year to make up our mind for us. Otherwise I intend to try to have one child and then be done.
Posted by StefffiC[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I have an AWESOME genetic counselor. She is really the best. I would highly recommend anyone with a genetic disorder visit with a genetic counselor.

</div>

JessAndTrav · July 2012

I know it seems easy for me to say since I'm pregnant, but if H and I were struggling to conceive, I really think that we would go the adoption route. I know it's tough and it's expensive, but I don't know that something as extreme as IVF is for me.

I don't judge those that choose that path, or surrogacy or anything, because I completely understand the desire to have a child that's biologically yours, and because every person is different.

StefffiC · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:9fd19510-9394-4570-b0fa-7397b47b8b9e">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tuesday Night : I have an AWESOME genetic counselor. She is really the best. I would highly recommend anyone with a genetic disorder visit with a genetic counselor.
Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]

That's good! I like our's too. And, I'm really glad that we did it, there were a lot of questions she could answer for us.

pokepoke27 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:46a10b1a-9e6a-4851-add0-99c183a8ae95">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]I know it seems easy for me to say since I'm pregnant, but if H and I were struggling to conceive, I really think that we would go the adoption route. I know it's tough and it's expensive, but I don't know that something as extreme as IVF is for me. I don't judge those that choose that path, or surrogacy or anything, because I completely understand the desire to have a child that's biologically yours, and because every person is different.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

<div>My SIL is having a lot of trouble conceiving. They're about to try IVF. I don't know if she'll consider adoption if that does not work. </div>

zizibet · July 2012

Aryn, I have no idea. I imagine I had some name, but it wasn't in my medicall records-those were all changed to my current name.

StefffiC · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:46a10b1a-9e6a-4851-add0-99c183a8ae95">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]I know it seems easy for me to say since I'm pregnant, but if H and I were struggling to conceive, I really think that we would go the adoption route. I know it's tough and it's expensive, but I don't know that something as extreme as IVF is for me. I don't judge those that choose that path, or surrogacy or anything, because I completely understand the desire to have a child that's biologically yours, and because every person is different.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

If you go for foster to adopt, then the costs are negligible, if I understand correctly.

Otherwise, the costs we were quoted were comparable for IVF or Adoption. At least insurance chipped in for IVF. We were on our own for adoption and surrogacy.

One of my high school friend's mother's adopted 4 special needs children through foster to adopt, but I don't think I could do that. I look at the NC foster to adopt page and I feel sad that we can't take all of the children in, but I don't think we have the experience or time to take on most of the children there.

We are struggling with infertility and IVF was offered to us - it would be easier to keep me pregnant, and we turned it down. It's not for us either. I don't judge those that do, but our rule was a year of trying or 3 losses, after that we were done trying and would be child free and live it up. Nothing extreme. We decided that before we started the process.

ErinG93 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:46a10b1a-9e6a-4851-add0-99c183a8ae95">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]I know it seems easy for me to say since I'm pregnant, but if H and I were struggling to conceive, I really think that we would go the adoption route. I know it's tough and it's expensive, but I don't know that something as extreme as IVF is for me. I don't judge those that choose that path, or surrogacy or anything, because I completely understand the desire to have a child that's biologically yours, and because every person is different.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is random, but I love the name Nathan. LOVE. It's a family name and I have a favorite cousin named Nathan. <3

</div>

ErinG93 · July 2012

Steffi, I'm fortunate to work for a company that gives $10,000-12,000 for every child that an employee adopts. It would be quite feasible for H and I to adopt, which is really very nice.

JessAndTrav · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:7ec26bcb-a5f7-41e4-a89d-e6299e301cf1">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tuesday Night : My SIL is having a lot of trouble conceiving. They're about to try IVF. I don't know if she'll consider adoption if that does not work.
Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

<div>I hope that they're able to find a solution that works for them. It always seems to me that parents that have kids through IVF or surrogacy or adoption love their kids so deeply, because they're so grateful to have their kids.</div>

StefffiC · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:2ed9a293-5efa-41d8-844b-4516d240705d">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]Steffi, I'm fortunate to work for a company that gives $10,000-12,000 for every child that an employee adopts. It would be quite feasible for H and I to adopt, which is really very nice.
Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]

You are lucky! One of the supervisors where I work went through foster to adopt with an infant and they had to go to court several times and it wasn't sure they would get to keep her for a year until it was final.

It was so hard on them, and that was after years of trying to have their own.

JessAndTrav · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:450df1a5-bd7e-4668-8456-f9529d1971f9">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tuesday Night : This is random, but I love the name Nathan. LOVE. It's a family name and I have a favorite cousin named Nathan. <3
Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]

<div>I love it too, like, so much. H wanted to name the baby Adam, a name that I also like, but I was really attached to the name Nathan. I think it's because it's the name I decided sounded good with our last name many, many years ago.</div>

pokepoke27 · July 2012

Erin, I really like the name Nathan too. Too bad H really doesn't like it.

pokepoke27 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:7c12064c-e4ab-4a5a-ae4b-fa13b409f29b">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tuesday Night : I hope that they're able to find a solution that works for them. It always seems to me that parents that have kids through IVF or surrogacy or adoption love their kids so deeply, because they're so grateful to have their kids.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I really hope so too. She wants a baby soo bad.

</div>

JessAndTrav · July 2012

I love that everyone loves our son's name!

ErinG93 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:e0168adf-db5d-42aa-9d5d-e3c83800b922">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tuesday Night : I love it too, like, so much. H wanted to name the baby Adam, a name that I also like, but I was really attached to the name Nathan. I think it's because it's the name I decided sounded good with our last name many, many years ago.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

<div>I like the name Adam too. Did you have girl names you guys liked? </div>

JessAndTrav · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:e504a002-12f9-4ab8-bd0c-0755a77961cc">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tuesday Night : I like the name Adam too. Did you have girl names you guys liked?
Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes. :) </div><div>
</div><div>Caroline Kelly ________ & Nathan Walker __________ were names I picked out YEARS ago. :) </div><div>
</div><div>If Adam would have won, it would have been Adam Walker as well. Luckily, H says that Caroline Kelly is a go if we have a girl. :D</div>

ErinG93 · July 2012

Is it weird these days for kids to go by their middle names? I like my MIL's name, but only as a first name. The tricky thing is that my MIL's name is also her mom's name, so it would get REALLY confusing to have three people named Marcia in the family. My favorite girl name is Marcia Claire ____________. The other crazy thing is that my MIL pronounces her name "Mar-cee-uh" and H's grandma pronounces it "Marsh-uh." Did that even make sense?

Of course, this is all very hypothetical.

pokepoke27 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:acb20250-a31f-4167-adad-d2217ba391d9">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tuesday Night : Yes. :) Caroline Kelly ________ & Nathan Walker __________ were names I picked out YEARS ago. :) If Adam would have won, it would have been Adam Walker as well. Luckily, H says that Caroline Kelly is a go if we have a girl. :D
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

<div>The names I picked out were Nathan Edward and Chloe Anne. H loves Chloe Anne but does not like Nathan Edward. Not that we're even TTC, haha. </div>

JessAndTrav · July 2012

I'm a HS teacher and I have plenty of kids that go by their middle names, so I don't think it's weird.

For me, I want my kids to go by their first names, but that's how I am. It's not uncommon for kids that are named after a living relative to go by their middle name.

JessAndTrav · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:db05554c-84ab-4298-9231-d10055a3be1b">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tuesday Night : The names I picked out were Nathan Edward and Chloe Anne. H loves Chloe Anne but does not like Nathan Edward. Not that we're even TTC, haha.
Posted by pokepoke27[/QUOTE]

<div>I like both of those names!</div><div>
</div><div>H didn't love Nathan at first, but he's definitely happy with it now. I mean, he liked it, but it just wasn't his #1 choice.</div>

pokepoke27 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tuesday-night-4?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:f40d1f47-34e9-443c-9f31-1bb40c4cc3fbPost:f60a4678-d51c-4ae0-8123-4bdb8c2a7946">Re: Tuesday Night</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm a HS teacher and I have plenty of kids that go by their middle names, so I don't think it's weird. For me, I want my kids to go by their first names, but that's how I am. It's not uncommon for kids that are named after a living relative to go by their middle name.
Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]

<div>My grandfather and his two brothers were all named Joseph and each had a different middle name. All three went by their middle names. I don't know why. </div><div>
</div><div>ETA: I meant that I don't know why they all three had the same first name. </div>

JessAndTrav · July 2012

I like the new pic, Poke!

pokepoke27 · July 2012

Thanks Jess! : )

Tuesday Night

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