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Just need to vent...

Vanessa630Vanessa630 member
1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
in Connecticut
Just bummed and need to vent....

So I'm a poor graduate student...in a doctoral program...so even though I'm in my 3rd year, there's no paycheck in sight.
FI works full time but doesn't make enough to support the 2 of us. 
Once we got engaged, I moved in with him and his father "temporarily."  Otherwise, we would have been doing the 2 hour commute and it just made more sense for me to be up there for school/internships/etc.

He's been trying like crazy to change jobs so we can afford our own apartment. His boss just denied him the opportunity to post out and apply for something that looked really promising.  So now I'm deflated and frustrated. 

I hate living with his father but I'm also not in a position to complain. I'm thankful for a place to stay but this summer will mark the 2 year point of living there.  I think, more than anything, I'm freaking out at the idea of being a married couple and living there....


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Re: Just need to vent...

  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry this is happening. Was there an explanation from his boss as to why he didn't want him to post for the new position? When you take a job, your main goal is always to move up in the company and most employers want their employees to have that ambition... Maybe it's time for your FI to start thinking about a new job, not just a new position, but a new job outside of where he works now since his boss is discouraging him.

    Everything always works out in the end. Even if you guys come back from your HM and still have to live with your FIL it shouldn't be for too long. How much longer are you in school? Our living situation when we were still in CT was a nightmare. We dreaded coming back home to our place after the HM. Thankfully, I got the job down here about 2 months later and we moved the heck out of there. We had upstairs neighbors that made our lives living hell. Nonstop noise from 5:00am until 8:30 at night. We couldn't relax in our own home and were constantly fighting with them. That's no way to live, and we stressed about how long it would take to get out of there and in the end it worked itself out. You're already on the right track by thinking positively and being thankful for your place there. You guys just need to make a plan of how you'll be able to get out on your own whether it be before the wedding or a few months after. *Hugs*
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  • dancinditzcoleydancinditzcoley member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I completely understand. Somehow after I finished my undergrad I ended up living with my now FI and his parents. I'm back in grad school part time so all the money I do make goes right to undergrad loans. I thought we'd be out of her LAST fall and this July will be two years here...I suppose it could always be worse. we may not have enough of our own space but at least we have a nice space to live in.
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  • Whippet8Whippet8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I understand your frustration. we absolutely hate living where we are right now, and DH is trying to hard to look for a job with a consistent paycheck (he was offered something for comission). Everyday is a struggle to deal with where we are living.

    good luck, and hang in there.
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  • jesslovesdavejesslovesdave
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I can relate too....we have our own place but are trapped here, and I honestly don't even like it!!!! I just finished grad school and started working full time FI changed jobs, but it feels like it will take a while to dig out and wait for the market to rebound so we can sell and move  :(
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  • Karebear852k3Karebear852k3
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_just-need-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:bb24eaba-1680-432e-8e96-69f3735b066aPost:98440255-a97b-4207-b16a-19eb860987ed">Re: Just need to vent...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I understand your frustration. we absolutely hate living where we are right now, and DH is trying to hard to look for a job with a consistent paycheck (he was offered something for comission). Everyday is a struggle to deal with where we are living. good luck, and hang in there.
    Posted by melko4886[/QUOTE]

    Ditto to this too and to your situation. We totally hate where we are now (renting a 300-year-old house that is falling apart is not fun, but alas the price is right) and I'm also a poor graduate student and feeling like I'm not contributing an just wracking up student loan debt to get by :-/ Hang in there, we're in the home stretch and when paying for everything wedding-wise is all over hopefully your wallet won't feel so pinched.
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