Just Engaged and Proposals

Got engaged at prom!

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Re: Got engaged at prom!

  • A lot of the ladies who posted recently had VERY good points, and OP, you should read all of them and take them into consideration. You are right in the thick of it now. Of course, you think it's everlasting love and you don't want to hear any different. But what's the rush? If you feel you and your FI will be together the rest of your lives, what's wrong with waiting 6 or 7 years to get married? I never will understand that. You can still be together, but you don't have to have a legally binding marriage to be committed.

    I know a LOT of 15 year olds because I teach them. No, not everyone is the same, but I can say without a shadow of a doubt, I have NEVER met one of them that was ready to get married, and since I've been teaching for a little while, I've known well over 500 people your age. Not a single one was mature enough to marry, not even the most mature students. I know you don't want to hear our advice, but you seriously need to re-think what you are doing. Just by what you have typed, it's obvious to those of us who are older, with many of us being married and having gone through being a teenager and young adult, that you have some very naive ideas of marriage. What you wrote about marriage is not what marriage is like. That would seriously worry me. Your ideas about "never divorcing" no matter what and "never go to bed angry ever" ARE naive ideas about marriage.

    You need to live a little and focus on you. You can still be in a committed relationship with your SO without rushing into marriage. You have a lot of growing up to do. You can grow together unmarried, and if a few years down the road, are still in love, then get married. But if you grow apart, you will GREATLY regret getting married so young.

    I also highly feel that anyone getting married should be 100% self-sufficient. No help from mommy and daddy. if you need that you're not ready for marriage. Where are you guys living? What do you both do for a living to pay the bills? Do either of you have insurance? How are you going to handle your finances? Have you thought about any of this?


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:90b6ff41-9887-42f4-9871-35fbe3add11c">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : 1. In most states, 17 is the absolute minimum to get married, even with parent's permission, so I'd look into that.  In this day and age, I'd also seriously side-eye any parent that would let their kids get married any younger than that anyways, it's irresponsible to the point of bordering on child abuse. 2. Yes, in the 'old days' people got married younger.  This is not the old days.   Also, there were fewer divorces, not because people wanted to get divorced less, but because divorces were highly stigmatized and women couldn't support themselves without a husband, so they stayed married even if they were miserable.  That's not exactly something to idolize.  Also in the old days, kids were working at 14, and completely self sufficient by the time they got married.  Are you and your FI supporting yourselves 100%, or will you be once you get married?  (ie, not receiving a single penny from either of your parents, not being on any of their insurance plans, etc) 3.  No one gets married thinking they will get a divorce.  Just because you say you won't get divorced doesn't mean you won't.  I'm sure all the other 15 year olds said the same thing an a majority of them still did it.  Not saying you will, but it's naive and immature to think it can't happen to you.  If you want to beat the odds, you need to recognize that there ARE odds, and then make a plan to deal with them. 4.  Your sisters and your parents aren't you and your FI.  H's grandparents got married at 16 and 19 and were married for over 40 years.  His cousin on the other hand got married at 18 and was divorced before she was 20.  Your parent's marriage is NOT a measure of how yours will turn out.  Yes, they can be good role model, but that does not automatically mean what works for them will work for you, and it certainly doesn't mean that just because they succeeded that you will too.  To comfort yourself in that notion and not realize what today's odds you are facing is extremely naive. Look, I'm not saying all of this to make you feel bad, or even to talk you out of it, I just want to make sure you are prepared for what you are getting into because it doesn't seem like you are.  You need to stop comforting your decisions with what other people have done, realize that the odds against you are astronomical and go from there.  I hope you at least consider what us 'old folk' are saying.  Even if you don't agree, it will help give you some perspective and maybe even help you in the long run to make your marriage successful.  I really do hope you are the exception and not the rule in this case.  Good luck OP.
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]<div>I fully agree with all of this. </div><div>
    </div><div>H and I had plenty of people over the years say we wouldn't last from the start. We knew less then a year in to our relationship that we would be together forever and married one day. We knew the odds against high school sweethearts lasting. We grew together, even when we had our long distance relationship (knew the odds were not good for this too). Neither of us wanted to get married young and H wanted to wait for the right time. The right time was 8 years after we started dating. We had a 2 year engagement because it was easier for us to plan. What I am getting at is this entire time we knew we were going to get married but felt the wait was worth it for us. We have had over 10 wonderful years together of ups and downs, richer and poorer, sickness and health, etc. before we ever said our vows. </div><div>
    </div><div>Waiting to get married will not change how you feel about one another if you both really love each other. Waiting to get married will give an easy out if things don't work out. My Cousin who got divorced and is now happily remarried has told us that marriage is cheaper then getting divorced.</div><div>
    </div><div>Congratulations on your engagement! I hope you both have a long happy life together. It is always nice to see a couple beat the odds.</div><div>

    </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:9165627c-47f0-40fa-ac58-2fa9b62df62b">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : Well that just makes me think you are LESS ready to get married. So, if you get married and he beats you and rapes you, you won't divorce him?  What if he starts having sex with other women?  With men?  I'm not accusing your FI of doing any of those things, but saying no divorce, ever, no matter what, is not only a naive idea, it's a dangerous one.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    If any of thoses things happen then yes we will divorce. But he has promised me that he will not he loves me and he will never hurt me. Yes I know that people can change.  But I chose to think on the positive side.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:970e2476-ccef-4bbf-9f49-6610ff3d3c03">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]OK - ALL your sisters got married at 17?  How many sisters do you have? If I had married the guy I was with at 17, I'd be married to a gay guy.  Please know that people's comments are only concern - for those of us who are older, we know that we are NOT the people we were at 15.  Hell, I'm not the person I was when I was 25!  On one hand, you grow up with the person when you marry young.  On the other, if you wait til you're older, you know yourself first.  Take some time and enjoy young adulthood - there's a lot I would have missed out on if I had gotten married young. Also, you make me feel like a dinosaur - when I started my current job you were 2 years old.
    Posted by amyb140[/QUOTE]

    I have three sisters and my parents got married young. I know what I will miss out on, but I also know that everything I want to do I can do with the one that I love and that I would rather do them with the one I love.
  • Sugarplum97Sugarplum97 member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:90b6ff41-9887-42f4-9871-35fbe3add11c">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : 1. In most states, 17 is the absolute minimum to get married, even with parent's permission, so I'd look into that.  In this day and age, I'd also seriously side-eye any parent that would let their kids get married any younger than that anyways, it's irresponsible to the point of bordering on child abuse. 2. Yes, in the 'old days' people got married younger.  This is not the old days.   Also, there were fewer divorces, not because people wanted to get divorced less, but because divorces were highly stigmatized and women couldn't support themselves without a husband, so they stayed married even if they were miserable.  That's not exactly something to idolize.  Also in the old days, kids were working at 14, and completely self sufficient by the time they got married.  Are you and your FI supporting yourselves 100%, or will you be once you get married?  (ie, not receiving a single penny from either of your parents, not being on any of their insurance plans, etc) 3.  No one gets married thinking they will get a divorce.  Just because you say you won't get divorced doesn't mean you won't.  I'm sure all the other 15 year olds said the same thing an a majority of them still did it.  Not saying you will, but it's naive and immature to think it can't happen to you.  If you want to beat the odds, you need to recognize that there ARE odds, and then make a plan to deal with them. 4.  Your sisters and your parents aren't you and your FI.  H's grandparents got married at 16 and 19 and were married for over 40 years.  His cousin on the other hand got married at 18 and was divorced before she was 20.  Your parent's marriage is NOT a measure of how yours will turn out.  Yes, they can be good role model, but that does not automatically mean what works for them will work for you, and it certainly doesn't mean that just because they succeeded that you will too.  To comfort yourself in that notion and not realize what today's odds you are facing is extremely naive. Look, I'm not saying all of this to make you feel bad, or even to talk you out of it, I just want to make sure you are prepared for what you are getting into because it doesn't seem like you are.  You need to stop comforting your decisions with what other people have done, realize that the odds against you are astronomical and go from there.  I hope you at least consider what us 'old folk' are saying.  Even if you don't agree, it will help give you some perspective and maybe even help you in the long run to make your marriage successful.  I really do hope you are the exception and not the rule in this case.  Good luck OP.
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

    Just so you know I will be legally old enough I will be over 17. You have no idea how old I am so please don't judge!
  • I think I am going to just get off of all of these forums and I will not be back here on The Knot for a long time. I am tired of people's negative judgmental opinions. If I wanted people's thought I would have asked. Engagements are to be a good thing and to criticize people as to when they do it is totally rude and unsupportive.  My FH and I are aware of all of these things and for all of you guys who like to chose how old I am, you guys have NO CLUE how old I am. So don't be posting stuff about it being illegal because you have no clue how old I am. You guys may say that I am being childish. I am tired of being hurt I came on here for support not criticism or "concerns".  I came on here because I was soo excited that I was engaged and that I was going to get to plan my wedding. I thought that other brides to be would get that and that they would be nice. But I guess I thought wrong.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:749bc35b-a767-4272-bfa2-b4e13e06c084">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : My school is a private Christian school and we try to change the whole prom experience to something that you will remember for the rest of your life, so we all went to this really expensive restaurant. My school rented out one of the big Party rooms. Anyway, he asked me to step out of the room for a few minute, he held my hand and said he had to ask me something and I said I think I know what it is and I think you already know the answer. Then he got down on a knee and asked me. We hugged and kissed then walked back in to the room holding hands and simling. The DJ played a song for us and we danced. It was so romantic!
    Posted by Sugarplum97[/QUOTE]



    how cute!! congrats
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:9165627c-47f0-40fa-ac58-2fa9b62df62b">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : Well that just makes me think you are LESS ready to get married. So, if you get married and he beats you and rapes you, you won't divorce him?  What if he starts having sex with other women?  With men?  I'm not accusing your FI of doing any of those things, but saying no divorce, ever, no matter what, is not only a naive idea, it's a dangerous one.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]


    I dont think that saying "no matter what we will never get divorce" makes her less ready.... I see them like a couple that wants to be together and hopefully gives the best of each other.... thats why there are professional help for marriages.... My fiance is divorces and he says that he will never get divorce again...

    Plus if you get married thinking in getting divorce and dont fight for your marriage, then stay single!!!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:a0d52415-520a-45a5-b7df-f377c753c07f">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]You must be very excited so im going to say something that no one else on here has said to you yet CONGRATULATIONS!!
    Posted by Helsy85[/QUOTE]
    Yes!!! I agree Helsy...Congratulations!!!!!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:45ddc4ba-cf17-4c60-be95-fd3d80750f53">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think I am going to just get off of all of these forums and I will not be back here on The Knot for a long time. I am tired of people's negative judgmental opinions. If I wanted people's thought I would have asked. Engagements are to be a good thing and to criticize people as to when they do it is totally rude and unsupportive.  My FH and I are aware of all of these things and for all of you guys who like to chose how old I am, you guys have NO CLUE how old I am. So don't be posting stuff about it being illegal because you have no clue how old I am. You guys may say that I am being childish. I am tired of being hurt I came on here for support not criticism or "concerns".  I came on here because I was soo excited that I was engaged and that I was going to get to plan my wedding. I thought that other brides to be would get that and that they would be nice. But I guess I thought wrong.
    Posted by Sugarplum97[/QUOTE]

    We have an idea of how old you are.  You got engaged last month at your highschool prom.
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  • It is silly to lecture her about getting married young.  Whether it works out or not, that is a lesson she will learn on her own, not from a bunch of strangers on the internet.  I am 29 and will be 30 when we get married, so believe me, I understand the point of waiting to get married.  I just think it is a silly point to try to be making in this forum.  Mature women know that the lessons we learn, we learn through experience and sometimes mistakes.  Call me idealistic, but I seriously don't see the point in ruining some girl's day just so we can be able to feel good about ourselves for waiting to get married.  It is one thing to seriously attempt to give her advice, and a different thing to make snarky comments to a high school kid.  Doing so kind of undermines the message that age brings maturity.
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  • OP: All of your posts sound childish. We are not making anything up; you told us you got engaged at your HS prom. Then all of your posts sound like they're written by someone who's 15 or 16 at best. Myself and all the other posters who have pointed out issues with this are doing it with concern and to show you things from the other perspective.

    What I STILL don't understand is when you say, "I want to do everything with the one I love," why can't you? Why do you HAVE to have a wedding license in order to be with the one you love? Why can't you just keep dating? THAT is my point. Why the rush if you think you'll be together for ever? You've never answered that question.

    Bottom line: If you don't want opinions on your engagement (or anything else) you shouldn't post about it on a public message forum. Opinions are what you will get.


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  • edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:8ff44294-a6d0-47b1-9ccf-c518ed530a30">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP: All of your posts sound childish. We are not making anything up; you told us you got engaged at your HS prom. Then all of your posts sound like they're written by someone who's 15 or 16 at best. Myself and all the other posters who have pointed out issues with this are doing it with concern and to show you things from the other perspective. What I STILL don't understand is when you say, "I want to do everything with the one I love," why can't you?<strong> Why do you HAVE to have a wedding license in order to be with the one you love? Why can't you just keep dating?</strong> THAT is my point. Why the rush if you think you'll be together for ever? You've never answered that question. Bottom line: If you don't want opinions on your engagement (or anything else) you shouldn't post about it on a public message forum. Opinions are what you will get.
    Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

    Dollars to doghnuts it is because they don't believe in premarital sex and need the license to "be" with eachother.  OP, if you aren't going to take our advice and have a long engagement, at least retain attorneys and hammer out a prenup in case you need it to make a divorce go smoother.  I also strongly strongly advise premarital counseling that includes meetings with financial advisors.
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  • I love the bit about "he promised he won't hurt me."

    Abusive a**holes say that everytime --- after they've blackened and bruised a woman.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:45ddc4ba-cf17-4c60-be95-fd3d80750f53">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think I am going to just get off of all of these forums and I will not be back here on The Knot for a long time. I am tired of people's negative judgmental opinions. If I wanted people's thought I would have asked. Engagements are to be a good thing and to criticize people as to when they do it is totally rude and unsupportive.  My FH and I are aware of all of these things and for all of you guys who like to chose how old I am, you guys have NO CLUE how old I am. So don't be posting stuff about it being illegal because you have no clue how old I am. You guys may say that I am being childish. I am tired of being hurt I came on here for support not criticism or "concerns".  I came on here because I was soo excited that I was engaged and that I was going to get to plan my wedding. I thought that other brides to be would get that and that they would be nice. But I guess I thought wrong.
    Posted by Sugarplum97[/QUOTE]

    ....and this post just proves everything every poster has said.  You are obviously very young, and very immature.  But whatever, throw a tempur tantrum and run off and get married because all teenagers are right all the time and no one knows better than you.  Got it.

    Most of us were seriously trying to help.  Like I said, you don't have to agree with what we said, but if you'd at least considered it without acting like a two-year-old then that would have shown a shred of maturity.  But apparently you can't take honest criticism...you have a lot of growing up to do.  Good luck OP, seems like you'll need every bit of it.
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  • OP they aren't saying it to be mean.  They're being honest.  And yes, a lot of these women have learned the hard way, either by marrying young and getting divorced, or by knowing someone who did.  I'm young.  There are those of us on here that are.  And the other posters do have a point about waiting.  You can do the same things while dating that you can do while married unless it's against your religion.  And in that case rushing into marriage so you can have sex is not the way to go.

    If you want to be taken seriously on here as a young bride, don't sound whiny when you post.  That's the fastest way to be considered "not ready" by most people on these boards.  You posted your original post on a public forum, they have the right to give their opinions.  Consider what they say.  They're giving honest advice.  Yes, the statistics are against young marriages, but every couple and relationship is different.

    The only thing that truly worries me is the financial aspect.  I don't believe anyone should get married and not be financially independent.  It's part of being an adult.  How are you two going to pay for a place to live, food, health insurance, car insurance, gas, your future education?  Please think about those things.  Mommy and Daddy should not give you any monetary help for those basic things once you get married.  That's just my opinion.  
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  • Not much of a purpose for a prenup when the parties are teens and have no assets. Just sayin.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:3dce1db2-0211-48d5-aa95-10d6d0676a6f">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]It is silly to lecture her about getting married young.  Whether it works out or not, that is a lesson she will learn on her own, not from a bunch of strangers on the internet.  I am 29 and will be 30 when we get married, so believe me, I understand the point of waiting to get married.  I just think it is a silly point to try to be making in this forum.  Mature women know that the lessons we learn, we learn through experience and sometimes mistakes.  Call me idealistic, but I seriously don't see the point in ruining some girl's day just so we can be able to feel good about ourselves for waiting to get married.  It is one thing to seriously attempt to give her advice, and a different thing to make snarky comments to a high school kid.  Doing so kind of undermines the message that age brings maturity.
    Posted by nextrightthing[/QUOTE]

    AMEN!!!!!! <3
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:f725a39d-f048-48a0-abc3-271389a3a357">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I came on here because I was excited about being engaged. I thought that other people that are engaged or married would understand how exciting it is and that they would at least say congratulations even if they don't agree. For those of you who have been supportive and understand and that have taken up for me. Thank you sooooo much it means a lot to me.
    Posted by Sugarplum97[/QUOTE]
     
    Your welcome hun!!
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  • there's a saying of: "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it dosen't, then it was never meant to be."
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:88e85350-d177-4910-8790-26403556a81e">Re:Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Not much of a purpose for a prenup when the parties are teens and have no assets. Just sayin.
    Posted by nextrightthing[/QUOTE]

    Prenups cover more than just assets.
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  • Just a thought OP, I got married at 20, and I remember argueing with the pastor who married us at one of our counseling sessions.  I used a lot of the same lines you've used, and I can now say that marrying that wife beating jack wagon was probably the worst mistake I have ever made.  My daughter is now 18, she has a wonderful boyfriend she's been dating for about two years.  If they wanted to get married now, I'd ask them to wait.  Grow up a bit, still date, still love each other and spend time together.  If it's meant to be, they can get married once they've figured themselves out.  Good luck OP, I hope after the excitement wears off, you realize that there's nothing wrong with a really, really long engagement.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:89e0cb02-f372-4725-ac42-f32aa14367fb">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : You know everyone is different, all of my sisters met their husbands in high school and they all got married at 17. You can get married however young as long as your parents sign.  Not every young person has fake love. My FH and I ARE deeply in love and frankly I know what I am doing I have talked about this with my Parents they are very supportive. Young marriage is not for everyone I know that, but in the old days people got married at 15/16 and the divorce rates are A LOT lower than they are now. I am graduating next year and I am ready for marriage <strong>and my FH and I will NOT get a divorce</strong>.<strong> We do not believe in divorce it is not an option for us.</strong> <strong>We have already agreed that when we are married we will never leave angry or go to bed angry and that no matter what we will talk it out and make it thought it. </strong>My sisters all have very strong marriages and so do my parents. When you  get married young you grow together not apart and you don't have a past when you go in to it.  I hope the best for your marriage and I hope that you understand now but if not that's fine to.
    Posted by Sugarplum97[/QUOTE]

    Pats head.  You are so cute to think this way.

    Lemme explain something to you;  I have been with my H for 8 years and sometimes, going to bed while being mad at one another IS the only option.  Sometimes it does in fact take a good nights sleep to get over yourselves and realize how petty you were being the first place.  As you get older, I am sure you will realize this. 

    I am sure that the rest of the married ladies will agree with me on this one.

     

    KnotYetTied
  • LeguLegu member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Just something to think about here. I'm not agreeing or disagreeing, because at the end of the day, you know how you feel and you'll do what you want. But. I was 18 when I moved in with FI. We lived together, worked together, borrowed 200 pound off my mum an dad when we got a bit stuck one month, paid it back the next month, and at the beginning of last year, paid for them to go to Ireland for the weekend for their 30 anniversary. We rent our house, not own, but that's personal choice due to moving around with work. It's a 3 floor, 3 bedroom... Not the smallest house, by any means. Financially stable, dependant on ourselves, and together for just over 6 years. At the beginning of this year, we began planning our wedding. I'm 25 now, pregnant, and bringing baby up as a single mother because xFI told me to get an abortion. Things change, times change, situations change, feelings change... This time last year I NEVER would have imagined being in this position. I'm happy with it, because come January I'll have a beautiful baby, regardless of wether it's what he wants or not. Just... Something to chew over.
    So, maybe things don't always go as planned... Maybe that's okay. I may be alone for now, but my baby boy is on his way, and I wouldn't change a thing.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:02eaa151-a059-41f0-ae49-768b6be93920">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : Pats head.  You are so cute to think this way. Lemme explain something to you;  I have been with my H for 8 years and <strong>sometimes, going to bed while being mad at one another IS the only option.  Sometimes it does in fact take a good nights sleep to get over yourselves and realize how petty you were being the first place. </strong> As you get older, I am sure you will realize this.  I am sure that the rest of the married ladies will agree with me on this one.
    Posted by OBX2011[/QUOTE]

    OMG this.
     When FI and I first started dating we tried not going to bed angry, but all that ended up doing was arguing for another few hours, being too stubborn to go to bed.
    Now sometimes we realize, hey, it's late, we're both tired, and we will BOTH see each other's view points better after some rest. And almost every time we wake up the next morning and laugh at how silly we were being, and have an honest conversation about it (which usually lasts about 10 minutes since we realize we were both ridiculous).
  • Please tell me this is a troll
    Make jokes. No stress. Love. Live. Life. Proceed. Progress.
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:02eaa151-a059-41f0-ae49-768b6be93920">Re: Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Got engaged at prom! : Pats head.  You are so cute to think this way. Lemme explain something to you;  I have been with my H for 8 years and sometimes, <strong>going to bed while being mad at one another IS the only option.  Sometimes it does in fact take a good nights sleep to get over yourselves and realize how petty you were being the first place</strong>.  As you get older, I am sure you will realize this.  I am sure that the rest of the married ladies will agree with me on this one.
    Posted by OBX2011[/QUOTE]

    Seconded.

    My 17 year old self would have never understood this. Now I am 27 and married and I realize sometime you have to sleep it off and let cooler heads prevail in the morning.

    OP, I hope you give yourself some time to grow up and live on your own before you get married, to anyone.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • OP, congratulations!!

    I disagree with many of the posts on this thread. I found "the one" at age 17, and both of us recognized the fact that we were going to get married, at 17. I am still with him today, at age 21. We got engaged at 20 and will be married at 22. I don't see a single issue with any of this. Yes, it's going to be scary having to worry about finances and the dynamics of our marriage, etc. Yes, it's going to be tough. But we're both prepared for that and are working out as many things as we can beforehand. We're committed and that's all that matters. We're in it for the long haul, which is what marriage is about. We have a committed, respectful, loving relationship, and we'll work through whatever happens. Being "too young" isn't a good reason to not get married.

    I am rather old-fashioned, though, so perhaps that is why no one on TK seems to share my opinion.

    In any case, congratulations on your engagement and the very best of luck for your marriage!!
  • Girl All these women aren't even planning weddings they just like sitting on the computer and think they're better than everyone else. The best part is they are all about THEIR opinion and dont listen to anyone else. I think they are most likely unattractive old women who hide behind a computer screen and act like the "popular kids" in high school and gang up on people who are happy about planning a wedding. They make fun of "newbies" but honestly why would someone stay on a wedding planning forum after they're married? Have some kids or something! Lol they honestly think we all WANT their opinion so they stick around and keep talking and talking and talking like get a REAL life! Fact of the matter is some of us brides to be come on here for ideas for our wedding to the man of our dreams, some women come on here seeking drama cause they want fulfillment in their lives! They'll never go away so it's best to just ignore them cause they looooove getting a rise out of people. Let's be real, if they had happy marriages and families and friends, they wouldn't be on TK 24/7 pissing people off. Let's enjoy wedding planning and not let these grumpy women ruin it for us!
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  • edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_got-engaged-at-prom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:75ee6a64-f448-44e0-87e5-f264e8d4e9d2Post:2ff1572f-0d66-4919-a4ec-426cda089104">Re:Got engaged at prom!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Girl All these women aren't even planning weddings they just like sitting on the computer and think they're better than everyone else. The best part is they are all about THEIR opinion and dont listen to anyone else. I think they are most likely unattractive old women who hide behind a computer screen and act like the "popular kids" in high school and gang up on people who are happy about planning a wedding. They make fun of "newbies" but honestly why would someone stay on a wedding planning forum after they're married? Have some kids or something! Lol they honestly think we all WANT their opinion so they stick around and keep talking and talking and talking like get a REAL life! Fact of the matter is some of us brides to be come on here for ideas for our wedding to the man of our dreams, some women come on here seeking drama cause they want fulfillment in their lives! They'll never go away so it's best to just ignore them cause they looooove getting a rise out of people. Let's be real, if they had happy marriages and families and friends, they wouldn't be on TK 24/7 pissing people off. Let's enjoy wedding planning and not let these grumpy women ruin it for us!
    Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

    Yes.  By all means make horrible decisions and make a total ass of yourself.  Why listen to people who have been where you are? In case you missed it, nobody here told OP not to marry this guy, we told her to hold off on marrying him and have a long engagement and then gave a few dozen reasons why this would be a good idea.


    As for your 24/7 comment, most of us work at computers and can log on several times a day.  I'm usually on when DH is watching something on TV that I don't want to see.  And thanks for your concern, but my marriage is happy (and stable), girlfriends and I have regular girls nights out and I talk to my parents and brothers every couple of days.  So sweet of you to assume that we are all unatrractive women though. 

    If you dont' like our advice, then don't take it but you do nobody any favors by validating a really bad idea.

    The only hateful person I see here is you. 
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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