Unpopular Wedding Opinions

amylydia23 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:8e5a9c56-4758-40a2-831a-39d708553aeb">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : If it's a guest, I don't giveashit what you wear. <strong>But if you're in my wedding, you have to know that there's a chance (and a pretty good one in my circle) that you're going to be told what to wear.</strong>
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

This exactly

pirategal03 · July 2010

I've been told what to wear in every wedding I've ever been in. I wouldn't have minded if I had been asked for any sort of input. Even just a "hey, what's your budget for this?" would have been nice. It's left me bitter about matching dresses.

MeaghanandMichael · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:8e5a9c56-4758-40a2-831a-39d708553aeb">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : If it's a guest, I don't giveashit what you wear. But if you're in my wedding, you have to know that there's a chance (and a pretty good one in my circle) that you're going to be told what to wear.
Posted by goheels05[/QUOTE]

Oh yeah Heels, I think one of my biggest wedding regrets is not putting my foot down with MIL on this issue. I know people judge that, but I really wish she didn't wear a black kimono thingy and stripper boots.

COkristi · July 2010

My MIL wore a black knee length dress to our wedding and I didn't care. She had a nice silvery jacket over it and she looked great. She's really short and had a hard time finding anything she liked. I didn't give a shiit what she wore, because she is an awesome MIL and I'm thankful for that.

acmj11 · July 2010

Where I live EVERYONE does a stag party or a Jack and Jill. It's kind of unheard of not to, so I was pretty surprised at first that most knotties are against them. FI will be having a stag and everyone expects it. I don't have a problem with him having one and don't give it a second thought when he is invited to one.

COkristi · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:34485c61-a08e-41dc-bfbf-c80a0d6d4329">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : Oh yeah Heels, I think one of my biggest wedding regrets is not putting my foot down with MIL on this issue. I know people judge that, but I really wish she didn't wear a black kimono thingy and <strong>stripper boots</strong>.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

oh wow.

megk8oz · July 2010

I still don't know what my MIL wore to my wedding.

Is that wrong?

MeaghanandMichael · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:8da9eb67-5a38-4a77-9ef2-e200263f6385">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : oh wow.
Posted by COkristi[/QUOTE]

My only saving grace is that Mike told her she looked stupid at the reception and she changed into black heels. Still, she wore that to the CHURCH and cocktail hour.

amylydia23 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:f02038f0-9b0f-4c78-b6e3-be2ac8e2996b">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, I don't always mind "fake" weddings after the JOP, as long as the couple admits they are married first and they don't treat the party as the "real" wedding. I get super p!ssed when they lie and say they aren't married or if they say "Oh, we're only 'technically' married", and start creating insane registries and expect bach parties and whatnot. But if they're upfront and say "Yeah, we got legally married for insurance/immigration, but we really want to have a nice party", I'm cool.
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]

I am having a fake wedding next summer. I will always look at our JOP wedding as our real wedding and yes, everyone knows we are married. I personally could do without all the wedding hoopla like the bach/bachlorette parties and the bridal shower but our families are adamant about doing all of this for us. I feel awkward as hell registering for gifts and I hate honeymoon registries too. I don't know what I'm going to do.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

I don't mind cash bars.

I think wedding parties look better when they are in matching dresses.

I hate assigned seating. Let me sit wherever I want, please.

megk8oz · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:6ffabab5-f78a-4a5e-8047-9a1cbee58796">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : I am having a fake wedding next summer. I will always look at our JOP wedding as our real wedding and yes, everyone knows we are married. I personally could do without all the wedding hoopla like the bach/bachlorette parties and the bridal shower but our families are adamant about doing all of this for us. I feel awkward as hell registering for gifts and I hate honeymoon registries too. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Posted by amylydia23[/QUOTE]

As long as you're being honest about it, then I think it's fine. I have 2 friends that JOP'd for different reasons, one later on had a "fake" wedding and the other is in the process of planning a fake wedding.

The couple that did theirs already JOP'd for insurance, and then they only had the party to make the bride's family happy. The couple was very upfront that the party was not the real wedding and declined to have showers and bach parties. People gave gifts anyway, and they graciously accepted. So, that was fine to me.

The other friend JOP'd because she got pregnant and didn't want the baby born out of wedlock. She only considers her marriage an "on paper" thing and the dress she wears the fancy dress will be her "real" wedding. If you ask her, she will actually tell you with a straight face that she is not "really" married ... but her child was also not born out of wedlock. Naturally, I judge the hell out of her.

COkristi · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:03d115c7-b650-41c4-b31a-d868a6537316">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : My only saving grace is that Mike told her she looked stupid at the reception and she changed into black heels. Still, she wore that to the CHURCH and cocktail hour.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

Ahhhhhhh! That would bug the hell out of me. Props to Mike for telling her to change later though.

stephl3055 · July 2010

I don't mind honeymoon registries. I have never come across one personally, but they are somewhat common on my local board. If I didn't like the thought of a honeymoon registry, then I would just give cash. I'm not sure why people fly into a rage when they find out.

goheels05 · July 2010

Ooh that's a good one. I hate table assignments. I always get stuck with someone awful who the bride thinks I would like. Um, no.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

I think a lot of the normal wedding-y stuff is lame. I hate watching the couple have their first dance and cut the cake. It makes me uncomfortable. And don't even get me started on the garter and bouquet toss.

But that leads me to my second unpopular opinion. I get that the reception is to thank your guests and that you should keep their comfort in mind, but you're paying for it, so I am of the belief that as long as it's not hurting anybody, I don't give afuck what you do at the reception.

gottahavashorti · July 2010

I judge people who are not religous and church shop in order to have a pretty back drop. If it's at a college chapel or other chapel not associated with a single congregation, it doesn't bother me.

I would never recommend a honeymoon registry because I know they bother a lot of people, but under certain circumstances they don't bother me. If the place just gives them a check though, I'll just write a check so they get the entire thing for their honeymoon or have it sooner in case they need it for something.

JOP weddings followed by pretty princess days don't bother me if the couple is clear about having been married already and calls it a vow renewal or a church wedding if they are, say, Catholic and it's a convalidation. But I can't stand it if they call it their "real wedding" or lie about being married already.

I don't like memorial candles with pictures or other in your face displays of the fact that someone is missing. I think they're funeral.

I don't think +1s are an absolute necessity for single guests, new relationships, siblings or WP members.

I'm fine with open seating as long as there are plenty of extra seats and the guest list isn't large or mostly people who don't know each other. When in doubt, I think assigned tables are best, but I don't think open seating is the end of the world.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

Oh. And a lot of people think that children's vows are creepy, but I think they are adorable. Ben had vows and it was my favorite part of the ceremony. We tried to make them as uncreepy as possible, but ultimately, I don't care if any one was weirded out. It meant a lot to us.

megk8oz · July 2010

I'm not "anti-registries", but I am "anti-people" who get all judgy about registry content. If you don't like what it's for, just don't buy something from it. It's not rocket surgery.

But then again, I never buy off of a registry. Ever. I always give cash, so there's that.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

Cew--what exactly are children's vows? I've never seen a kid make any vows or even heard of that before. Do they stand up with the parent during the ceremony?

[Deleted User] · July 2010

I think there are lots of different ways that you can do it. We were very casual about it and let Ben make the choice to do them or not. We worked with our minister to come up with vows that talked about "always sharing his best bug collection", etc. He did not stand with us when we did them, but it was mainly for his comfort. He stood with my mom and just answered "yes". It made him feel so special.

A lot of the vows we found were not suitable because they talked about obeying, listening, etc. We weren't comfortable with that, so that's why we all worked together to write his vows.

MarriedInAFever · July 2010

Cew, that sounds friggin CUTE.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

I agree with MIAF, that sounds cute. I can see why people wouldn't like vows with obey in them, but sharing a bug collection is adorable. And it probably made his day to be included.

megk8oz · July 2010

When my mom married my step-dad, we didn't have vows, but the minister did a "family blessing" where my sister and I stood up for a moment holding their hands and basically it was just "From today on, God considers these 4 people a family". I think there was some other stuff, too, but I remember feeling all important to be a part of it. So when you can involve a kid in a not-creepy way, I think it's cute.

I'm not a fan of kids saying vows when it gets into the whole "honoring and obeying" thing. I didn't want that crap in my own vows, let alone expecting a child to say them.

shellydiane820 · July 2010

I like gaps when I'm a guest. Not like a 4 hour gap, but maybe like an hour so I can hang with friends and get a drink before the cocktail hour. I don't like feeling rushed.

I don't mind cash bars as long as there is something free for me to drink, whether its soda or iced tea. Something to quench my thirst.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:4407ffd4-d430-44b0-83a6-37dfa6f70e14">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not a fan of kids saying vows when it gets into the whole "honoring and obeying" thing. I didn't want that crap in my own vows, let alone expecting a child to say them.
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]

Exactly!

mrscarter052011 · July 2010

I'll jump on the "I like head tables" bandwagon.

I also like the idea of matching BM dresses. As a matter of fact when I told my BM's that they could wear different ones, they said then how will people know we're part of the bridal party. (Although I have been to really nice weddings where the BM's did have different dresses and it was very nice so the final dress decision will be made when we go shopping)

I love line dances except for the chicken dance.

maria.pedroza · July 2010

I think garter tosses are crass and tacky.

acmj11 · July 2010

Yeah, not doing the whole garter thing at our wedding.

luckyme502 · July 2010

I hate the bouquet toss and we are not doing one!

megk8oz · July 2010

I think unless you're like the Duggar family and you have like 12 million siblings and you're including all of them, it's absolutely grotesque to have a huge WP.

Seriously, whenever I see like 9 people on each side, I always think "Ok, so one of you wanted to ask every friend you've ever had, and the other one had to scrounge up bodies so you'd have even sides".

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