Assign tables or no?

suz62984 · June 2010

We are having a plated dinner with 3 choices. I was going to color code the name/place cards depending on what the guest chose; I would use one of my wedding colors for beef, one color for chicken, and the other for fish.

Do you think I should assign tables for guests to sit at or let everyone fend for themselves?

gottahavashorti · June 2010

I'm going to assume here that open seating would mean lots of extra seating. Does the caterer have a preference? Dinner service might go more quickly if they know which entrees are going to each table.

Butterstick · June 2010

I'm all for assigned tables, but NOT assigned seats. and, I really like the idea of color coding the name cards with the entree choice.

AdeleDazeem · June 2010

oh, please assign tables.

I hate hate hate going to a wedding with no assigned seating. We always end up outside the seating area grabbing people, huddling together, and trying to all get to one table before other randoms come and sit down. I find it enormously stressful.

With assigned tables, I can calmly walk around, get myself a nice glass of wine, chat with whomever and know my seat is waiting for me.

It's just one meal - people can get up and move around once the dinner is over.

CTGirl30 · June 2010

Assigned tables are so much easier on guests - it eliminates the feeling of being a kid in a lunchroom and not knowing where to sit, especially for guests who may not know many other people. It's really not too hard to put together a seating chart and it makes life easier on your guests. ;-)

frogurt814 · June 2010

I would say yes to assigned tables. I hate feeling like I have to rush to the reception just so I can get a seat with my friends.

Also, FI and I went to a wedding a couple of years ago and we only knew the bride and groom. They did not have assigned tables so FI and I ended up sitting at a table by ourselves for two hours (it took the bride and groom that long to get there.) We ended up leaving before dinner was even served because we were bored and felt really awkward.

I would've appreciated if they had assigned tables so we at least would've had people to talk to. They know us well enough that they could have seated us with people they knew we'd get along with.

suz62984 · June 2010

Sorry I should have clarified... no assigned seating. I'm going for assigned tables if I do anything. The ceremony and reception are at the same place so no one would have to rush to get there to have a seat; however I think there would be some people that would appreciate the assigned table concept after reading some of the posts. Thanks!

jagore08 · June 2010

Yes, assign tables. I was at a wedding once and there wasn't assigned tables and a few people ended up sitting with other random people they didn't know because they were the only open seats. I feel like it's a musical chairs game. There's always one person left standing around not knowing what to do.

bablingbrooke · June 2010

We didn't assign, we just left three or four tables that said "reserved" for the WP and immediate family and their SOs. So glad we did it. Didn't spend months of time coming up with seating arrangements, which would have made me go crazy. We had plenty of room and no one was the "oddball."

Of course we also did a buffet so that might have been what made it work.

trix1223 · June 2010

Suz: I'm an advocate of assigning tables, but not seats. It will make it easier on your servers, but there are many other additional reasons for me:

Doing table assignments is actually a courtesy to your guests. It ensures that people who don't get along won't end up stuck with each other because they're the only open seats left.

It ensures that couples or families won't be split up because there are not enough seats left at any given table when they arrive.

It ensures that Great Aunt Hilda won't be seated with your FIs college frat brothers, or that Grandpa Al won't end up sitting right next to the dj's speakers.

It ensures that your college roommate, who doesn't know anyone but you at the wedding, won't wander the room hoping that she can sit somewhere. (Remember the cafeteria in Jr. High?)

It ensures that you won't have 11 people jammed into a table that seats 8 comfortably because people decided to pull up chairs so they could all sit together.

It also saves you $$, because when you don't have assigned tables, you need to have extras because you WILL end with tables of 4 where you intended to have 8.

I've only been to one wedding without table assignments, and it was a holy mess as people wandered around trying to figure out where they were supposed to sit.

Do table assignments.

bablingbrooke · June 2010

Honestly, Trix, we had none of that happen. I think your points are good ones, I'm just saying it doesn't always happen. But we could have been the exception that proves the rule.

Licia&Wayne · June 2010

I've been to weddings that were fabulous and didn't have assigned seating. I've been to some that had reserved tables like brooke is talking about and everyone was comfortable and happy. I've also been to some that had everyone assigned to tables, and those were smashing as well.

I think if you aren't doing assigned seating you just have to be aware that people will probably spread out a little bit more, so have some extra chairs/tables. Also, I do think in that case, it's nice to reserve tables for the immediate family and wedding party.

But I think with a plated dinner, it may be more of a courtesy to your caterers than anyone to have assigned tables, so at least they can have some idea of which meals go where.

janedoe1113a · June 2010

I agree that I would assign tables. I hate going to a wedding where they don't have them.

gottahavashorti · June 2010

I've never had problems at weddings with open seating, but there's always been extra seating, someone basically acting as a restaurant hostess escorting people to tables based on group size, or everyone knows a bunch of people. The weddings with open seating have also not been 200+ guest affairs or had ceremony and reception at separate venues so groups of friends need to recongregate.

We had open seating because it was a cocktail reception with scattered seating and it worked well. Most of our guests knew each other and I believe the few couples who didn't know many others were introduced to people they'd get along with during the cocktail hour - my dad had spent some time plotting which people he'd like to see together.

I do understand the reasons behind table assignments though, and for many weddings I think they're appropriate and necessary. I've just never been to a wedding with open seating that really should have had table assignments or where there was a madhouse or clinging to seats because of it.

trix1223 · June 2010

brooke, I don't begin to imagine that every wedding has problems. But I do think the possibility for mishaps is decreased by assigning tables. I'm glad yours went so well!

My sister and I had an experience earlier this spring that drove this home for me. It wasn't a wedding, it was a funeral for the mom of childhood friends of ours. Our families were very close, and her daughters invited my sister and me to the post-funeral luncheon was being held. We each drove a significant distance, but it was important to us to be there.

We walked into the lovely venue where the luncheon was. We knew exactly 3 people there, and when we got to the room, there were only individual seats at tables where we knew no one.

We both sort of stood awkwardly, deciding that we'd go sit and visit with each other at a table away from the gathering. Fortunately, we were "rescued" by our friends who saw the dilemma and rearranged some people so that we could sit together at least.

It was terribly uncomfortable for us both. Granted it wasn't a wedding. But it was exactly the feeling that I imagine people who don't know what to do about sitting at a reception feel.

CTGirl30 · June 2010

For the return on your guests' comfort and happiness, it's a relatively easy task to do seating charts. We had 100 guests, so not a huge wedding, and lots of mixed groups that hadn't met before (FI's fam, my fam, college friends, HS friends, FI's work friends, my work friends, my belly dance friends, etc). We managed to assemble a seating chart that put people together in an organized fashion that made sense and where we had only a few people who wouldn't otherwise know others, we were able to group them at tables together and with others of similar backgrounds (my former coworkers with my current coworkers - same field of work, for example, so they all have something in common automatically besides knowing me). These people wouldn't have necessarily sought each other to sit with each other had we open seating but I think a little bit of planning on my end helped make it a more pleasant experience for all involved in that respect.

Trishes · June 2010

I was just this past weekend at a wedding where there was no assigned table except for the wedding party (so I had to sit separate from FI because he was a groomsman). Honestly, while it was kind of weird for me, it wasn't a huge deal. I got to know some new people, and as soon as dinner was over, everyone sat at different tables anyway.

mstar284 · June 2010

My family can't even decide where to sit when we go out to eat or have a family get together. We'll just stand around until someone makes the first move (usually me--I'm hungry!!) I can't even imagine a group of 100+ trying to figure out seating arrangements. Assign tables but not seats.

emilyinchile · June 2010

I'm on the assign tables train, and honestly making the seating chart took me maaaaybe half an hour - it really wasn't hard. I printed out everyone's name and then cut them out so that I could physically move them around, which made it a lot easier for me than writing them down and having to cross people out.

I've never been to a wedding with open seating, but I know in general at events like that I feel anxious about trying to grab a seat with the people I know, and who's going to sit where, and this table only has 4 seats left but we're 5 people. It may all work out fine in the end (like at Brooke's wedding), but I do have that feeling at first, and I'd rather just be told where I'm sitting and not stress about it.

jenn.daniel · June 2010

I've never been to a reception with assigned seating, and it always worked out fine. It was a little hectic at the wedding with 240 people though. None of those receptions had plated dinners though. I would think it'd be a lot easier on the caterer if you have color-coded name cards. I like color coding.

stina93446 · June 2010

We just did assigned tables, not seats. That way, the guests felt cared for, but they could decide who at the table they wanted to sit with. I think the colors are a great idea. We put a letter in the bottom right corner of our place cards for the caterer.

B for beef

F for fish

V for vegetarian

K for kids meal

We also gave the caterer a list with each table and how many of each dish were needed at which tables....so.....

table 1= 6 beef, 2 fish.

That way, when they arrived at the table, they only had to look for the letters.

blackfire5th · June 2010

Honestly, I used to think that open seating wasn't a big deal and then I had a bad experience. I didn't know very many people and I noticed the chaos that was ensuing with other guests (basically trying to find enough seats for a family or trying to sit with people they knew). I also ended up sitting with someone who had extremely different religious viewpoints than I did and who really like to talk about them. It made dinner very unpleasant and that is the strongest memory I have of my SIL's wedding. Now that I'm aware of the problem I have seen the chaos at every wedding I've been to that doesn't have a seating chart.
Plenty of brides will say that they didn't have a seating chart and their guests did fine, but really how can they know? At most weddings, the bride and groom are the last to come in so they don't see the chaos, or if they do come in, they will be so caught up in talking to people that they won't notice.
Brooke- I have asked a couple of the brides/grooms if they noticed the problems with seating and all of them said that there wasn't a problem and seating worked out fine. They had no idea.

blackfire5th · June 2010

We basically did the same thing for our entrée selections. I just used tape on the back of the cards to hold the ribbon in place (the one without a ribbon was for a baby)

superheroprincess · June 2010

Brooke: I doubt most people would come up to you and tell you if felt uncomfortable at your wedding.

I've been to an open seating wedding once and it was very awkward. Got stuck at a table with only one other couple who wasn't very talkative; we ate the entire meal in silence.

I highly recommend assigned tables.

lisalou402 · June 2010

I had a horrible experience. The Bride and groom decided on open seating, but all the seating wasn't in the main room. This made it so many people were not in the main reception hall, and some were on a deck that was covered and heated, but still cold. There were reserved tables for certain family members, but not for others. All very bizarre. The Bride had SIL's sitting outside on the deck who complained the whole time. It was a debacle.

This was mainly because they chose a venue too small for their guest list.
Another caterer insisted that people "didn't like" assigned seating and pitched her a place with seating for LESS than her guest list. Proposed that people are always up and down.

My point to her was that our parents are getting older, and that people dont' want to go 8 rounds of "you stole my seat" at a wedding.

I never thought of true assigned seating...just assigned tables.

Very interesting though, and I know it works sometimes too!

ehathewa · July 2010

Assign tables! The way you worded it in your first post explains why... Do you really want guests to feel like they are "fending for themselves"?

mlovesd25 · July 2010

Wow and i thought unassigned tables and seats was the best way but now after reading this..i may have to rethink my reception as well. Thanks Ladies!!

vickiloew · July 2010

We are assigning tables but not specific seats! We have a few people that we don't want sitting anywhere near each other and others who will only know a few other people so this way they will be at a table where they for sure know someone and won't feel uncomfortable! Plus our reception hall will be kind of tight if we end up with as many people as we anticipate so we there won't be enough space to have extra seats. We are also not doing a head table as I do not want to split up families/couples. Also, I'm freakishly organized so I will thoroughly enjoy planning this out!

siple1am · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_assign-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3a1d6ccf-d75f-4edc-a706-bee8717cf4f5Post:ab90c110-b31f-4e56-8bd7-0e3190c6e915">Re: Assign tables or no?</a>:
[QUOTE]Suz: I'm an advocate of assigning tables, but not seats. It will make it easier on your servers, but there are many other additional reasons for me: Doing table assignments is actually a courtesy to your guests. It ensures that people who don't get along won't end up stuck with each other because they're the only open seats left. It ensures that couples or families won't be split up because there are not enough seats left at any given table when they arrive. It ensures that Great Aunt Hilda won't be seated with your FIs college frat brothers, or that Grandpa Al won't end up sitting right next to the dj's speakers. It ensures that your college roommate, who doesn't know anyone but you at the wedding, won't wander the room hoping that she can sit somewhere. (Remember the cafeteria in Jr. High?) It ensures that you won't have 11 people jammed into a table that seats 8 comfortably because people decided to pull up chairs so they could all sit together. It also saves you $$, because when you don't have assigned tables, you need to have extras because you WILL end with tables of 4 where you intended to have 8. I've only been to one wedding without table assignments, and it was a holy mess as people wandered around trying to figure out where they were supposed to sit. Do table assignments.
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

My mom is advising me against seating charts because its unnecessary drama. I haven't found one glitch as I did my entire side, of 120 people, in an afternoon! It's so easy to assign tables. I agree with what Trix said, it eases peoples minds. I went to my own father's wedding and had to sit in the back because I got stuck in a long line of traffic! You thought they would have had reserved seating, but they didn't. I am for assigned tables all the way, its not as hard as you think!

nwerking05 · July 2010

Definitely assign tables! I've had nothing but awkward experiences at weddings with open seating. I've ended up at a table with the groom's extended family when I was a co-worker of the bride and with the bride's French-speaking friends when I was the groom's cousin. (And I don't speak French!)

And really, it's not that hard to assign tables. I've found in setting up mine that most of our friends and family members fall into pretty natural groupings.

KJDOHERTY · July 2010

Definitely assign tables if you're having a seated dinner reception, I've experienced the same awkwardness and table grabbing others mention above. There's really no reason not to other than a bride wanting to save a bit of time/hassle. I also agree with other posters that just bceause no one complained to a bride doesn't mean they everyone is happy with the arrangements. I'd never tell a friend "oh by the way, that way you did _____ at your reception was a really bad choice"

Assign tables or no?

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