I was at a wedding recently where this happened and I was wondering all night what the E board would think of it!
So the groom is a Iraq war veteran and now is a veterans disability attorney (fights the VA to get veterans their disability benefits). The bride hated the idea of guests clinking glasses to get the couple to kiss, so instead they had signs on the table telling guests that if they wanted to see the couple kiss they could donate a dollar to a veterans charity fund. So the guests went up to the DJ booth, put the money in the jar and then rang the bell next to it and the couple would kiss.
I know from lurking here that asking guests to open their wallets at your wedding is a big no-no. But I thought with the grooms background it might be different? I, personally, wasn't offended, but probably because I hate that tradition. So what do you think?
Re: Atlernative to clinking glasses?
DH and I also were wary of the clinking glasses tradition - but it happened twice anyway. The first time we acknowledged the clinking with a quick kiss and the second time, when the clinkers timed it while we were both eating, we rubbed noses instead. The clinking didn't happen again - maybe because we (IMO) had shown we weren't going to give the PDA people wanted.
I guess my point is that asking for a donation is well-intended, but there are other ways to limit the clinking and not make guests open their wallets.
No, I don't think this situation is any different than other charitable donation requests. I wouldn't suggest this.
My brother, our MC put together a bunch and ran it. We had a few people come up and give it a go. It was hilarious and people really enjoyed it.
I like your idea Habs - sounds like it would be a fun thing to do!
I REALLY hate the clinking glasses thing. People get overly zealous about it and start clinking when the bride and groom aren't even near each other, are mid-bite in the dinner, etc.
I've seen it where guests have to serenade the B&G to get them to kiss, or kiss their SO or someone else and then the B&G have to mimic that kiss. I liked the idea of doing something like that (or even what Habs did rocks!) and talked to my DJ about it. He sort of went along with it, but I could tell he wasn't a fan, nor did he really get it so I knew he would be terrible at leading it. So in the end, I accepted the damn glass clinking because anything else just seemed like it would be herding cats.
www.detroitwedding.weebly.com
[QUOTE]OP, I think the donation idea is lame. Partly because of the whole wallet opening thing, but also the logistics involved. I REALLY hate the clinking glasses thing. People get overly zealous about it and start clinking when the bride and groom aren't even near each other, <strong>are mid-bite in the dinner,</strong> etc. I've seen it where guests have to serenade the B&G to get them to kiss, or kiss their SO or someone else and then the B&G have to mimic that kiss. I liked the idea of doing something like that (or even what Habs did rocks!) and talked to my DJ about it. He sort of went along with it, but I could tell he wasn't a fan, nor did he really get it so I knew he would be terrible at leading it. So in the end, I accepted the damn glass clinking because anything else just seemed like it would be herding cats.
Posted by Meegles4[/QUOTE]
My aunt kept doing this on purpose. I HATED it, but after 3 times, I just looked at her and kept eating. Of course she came up to our table to scold us for not kissing and I proceeded to tell her that we spent a lot of money on our wedding food, and I was going to f'ing eat it, so to leave us the hell alone.
Yeah...forced kissing makes me stabby...so I'd advise against it.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atlernative to clinking glasses? : My aunt kept doing this on purpose. I HATED it, but <strong>after 3 times, I just looked at her and kept eating.</strong> Of course she came up to our table to scold us for not kissing and I proceeded to tell her that we spent a lot of money on our wedding food, and I was going to f'ing eat it, so to leave us the hell alone. Yeah...forced kissing makes me stabby...so I'd advise against it.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
That's pretty funny. When I mentioned pre-wedding that I hate the glass clinking, my MIL said "well, you'll have a lot of Pollocks there, so you better get used to it." I had no idea it was a Polish thing (and still contend she's crazy and that it isn't)
Ours wasn't actually that bad. Happened right when we got seated a lot, but then my cousin came by and told me to stand up and do it -- we weren't on a stage so people couldn't see us because we just stayed in our seats. The next time it happened, we stood up and it actually died down.
www.detroitwedding.weebly.com
[QUOTE]That is funny jemm. I do not blame you - you did not spend all that time and money to stand around a be a pair of kissing monkeys.
Posted by AbbeyS2011[/QUOTE]
I wouldn't have minded it if it was after we were done eating, but my aunt was purposely doing it to annoy us and because "you aren't supposed to eat at your own wedding anyways" (<- she literally said that when I told her I was eating the food I paid for).
I mean seriously, you make the B&G kiss because it's sweet to see them in love, not to be an annoying asshole and starve them on their wedding day. But once everyone saw my aunt get turned away at our table, the rest of the guests figured out pretty quickly why and let us finish our meal in peace.
But in reality I would never do that and will probably just suck it up.
My fiance and I are not into PDA at all haha. So we'll probably just ignore it.
FI & I went to his friends wedding & there they had it set up if you wanted to bride and groom to kiss you had to go up to the mic & give words of advice for a good marriage.
Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:
http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/
http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html
http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/