confessions

[Deleted User] · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confessions-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:136b112c-5ca2-41fe-bcbc-fb2b1edb7abfPost:6ab11c92-c20f-4990-84ae-75885bd1e0d3">Re: confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: confessions : Oh I know, it totally sucks. Chips are my one food weakness. Yes, I profess love for baked goods like cupcakes and such, but I'd say I only ever eat those maybe 3 times a year. Chips though? Yeah, I love them so much. I really have to limit myself. And now that I'm working out more consistently and harder than I ever have in my life, I've noticed that I no longer crave crappy fast food. Unless I'm drunk. But, then again, I haven't really drank that much since I started training either (maybe 2-3 times, I think), so I guess that's a good thing.
Posted by mehgank[/QUOTE]

I'm really going to get serious about not eating so many chips and instead eating healthy stuff, and drink water instead of cokes.

I was telling H about the BK delivery thread, and said I would totally take advantage of it. I started going on about how much I love fast food and french fries and he told me he's shocked I'm not 600 pounds because of all the crap I eat.

SarahPLiz · January 2012

I confess that I really really want some sugar right now. I have a headache and I'm still hungry and I'm convinced that a pop tart would make it all better. I'm going to sit here and sip on my green tea and be good though.

SereJane · January 2012

I am kind of panicking.

H got offered that new job, right? Well, turns out their request to hire him got denied because of sudden budget cuts and a hiring freeze. And he can't go back to his old job because the site where he was working got cut. So he is currently unemployed. We have enough in the bank for a few months (thank God) but I feel so helpless. I am only working 3 hours a week now while I am student teaching and H doesn't want me to take on any more so I can focus. He is trying his best to find something but I am worried that it might take a long time.

We're open to moving, so anyone live in an area with lots of jobs?

midgetthemighty · January 2012

I confess that I get really annoyed with FI complaining about his job almost daily. He applies for some jobs but likes to put all of his eggs in one basket and wait for that job to hire him. I'm worried that when he does get a new job, he won't like something about it too.

mehgank · January 2012

Nebb - I'm not sure I could do that. If anything, I'd choose to do it in February since it's a short month lol. I love my beer.

Sesh - One thing that has helped curb my chip eating is I don't buy them when I go grocery shopping, so I never have them in the house. If I do eat them, I have to go downstairs (3 flights) and buy them at our little store on base, then take the stairs back up. At home, one thing I'm enjoying lately is celery sticks spread with Laughing Cow cheese (garlic & herb, or the chipotle one). It's mighty tasty.

Nebb · January 2012

I only chose to do it this much cause I was SO hungover jan 1st that it seemed like a good idea, I didn't want to drink the first weekend but I sure freaking do now. Feb 1st were going to the gd pub and that beer is going to taste like pure heaven.

Marrin713 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confessions-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:136b112c-5ca2-41fe-bcbc-fb2b1edb7abfPost:77e09af3-71b2-4a7b-a0e7-e845744fc6e9">Re: confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that while I'm fully supportive of my H quitting his job, I'm scared to death he won't find a new one and I'll be the sole breadwinner for a while. And that scares me and pisses me off at the same time. That makes me feel like an awful person.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

I confess I feel somewhat like jcb. H is self-employed and things have really taken a turn over the summer and into the fall/winter. He does literally everything he can with side jobs and now plowing, but I am the one bringing in the steady paycheck. I would so love to take something less stressful (if lower paying, so be it) and not feel like I am letting us down financially. :(

Denise91980 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confessions-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:136b112c-5ca2-41fe-bcbc-fb2b1edb7abfPost:b07678dd-92d3-49c4-9e81-e6283c399e6a">Re: confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]I. Denise, what is wrong with the yard? Is it bad enough that you can't clean it up without it costing a fortune? I missed this backstory.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

They put in a new septic system. In the process they put a 6 foot hill in the back of the yard which used to be completely level. There are also 2 manhole-like covers in the front portion of the yard, along with a plank of wood with metal pipes coming out of the ground. It looks completely different from when we signed the contract with them.

Celles · January 2012

I confess that I missed the announcement in Good Morning because I open potentially dramatic threads first.

Congrats, Steph!

[Deleted User] · January 2012

Mehg, I try not to buy them but the past 2 times I went to Winn-Dixie they were buy 1, get 1 free. And I am weak. But I'm going to force myself to only heat a handful at a time.

Also, Google is the devil. I just looked up RA (rheumatoid arthritis) symptoms and I have a good chunk of them, right down to foot pain and nodules under the skin.

Denise91980 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confessions-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:136b112c-5ca2-41fe-bcbc-fb2b1edb7abfPost:6ab11c92-c20f-4990-84ae-75885bd1e0d3">Re: confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: confessions : Oh I know, it totally sucks. Chips are my one food weakness. Yes, I profess love for baked goods like cupcakes and such, but I'd say I only ever eat those maybe 3 times a year. Chips though? Yeah, I love them so much. I really have to limit myself.
Posted by mehgank[/QUOTE]

Chips I could do without, unless there is onion dip...then it is lethal. My weakness is soft chocolate chip cookies or brownies. Not so much cake, other than cheesecake. I love the hell out of cheesecake.

maratea · January 2012

Sesh & Mehg- I have a seriously bad love affair with chips. To curb that, I've been making kale chips every week which keeps me from wanting potato chips. They do a little bit of a bitter taste, but they are still crunchy and salty like potato chips but far healthier.

Girlie1030 · January 2012

Sere, what does your H do?

Nebb · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confessions-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:136b112c-5ca2-41fe-bcbc-fb2b1edb7abfPost:dcd0b4eb-6144-4b03-9d95-09501b247fb8">Re: confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Nebb - I'm not sure I could do that. If anything, I'd choose to do it in February since it's a short month lol. I love my beer. Sesh - One thing that has helped curb my chip eating is I don't buy them when I go grocery shopping, so I never have them in the house. If I do eat them, I have to go downstairs (3 flights) and buy them at our little store on base, then take the stairs back up. At home, one thing I'm enjoying lately is celery sticks spread with Laughing Cow cheese (garlic & herb, or the chipotle one). It's mighty tasty.
Posted by mehgank[/QUOTE]

I've been loving celery and laughing cow lately, its so good. I oddly love the smell and taste of celery but it makes my mouth feel weird if I eat too much

baystateapple · January 2012

Congratulations, Steph!

I don't have anything to confess, I was idly reading until I saw Steph's ticker

Denise91980 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confessions-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:136b112c-5ca2-41fe-bcbc-fb2b1edb7abfPost:2e1df9e1-132c-4418-92d6-945358ac5227">Re: confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: confessions : I've been loving celery and laughing cow lately, its so good. <strong>I oddly love the smell and taste of celery but it makes my mouth feel weird if I eat too much</strong>
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
That is pineapple for me. I LOVE IT! But if I eat too much, my tongue gets tingly.

krizzo17 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confessions-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:136b112c-5ca2-41fe-bcbc-fb2b1edb7abfPost:2e1df9e1-132c-4418-92d6-945358ac5227">Re: confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: confessions : I've been loving celery and laughing cow lately, its so good. I oddly love the smell and taste of celery <strong>but it makes my mouth feel weird if I eat too much
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
</strong>
Me too! It's so confusing...like my tongue goes a little numb.

I'm annoyed that I swapped out my afternoon bag of chips last week for chopped veggies and low-fat dip, and only lost 0.4 pounds.

mehgank · January 2012

Ohh thanks for the tip, Mara!

Sesh, I have the iTriage app on my phone, and any time I look up symptoms, I just keep scrolling until the word 'cancer' appears. I can be a horrible hypochondriac sometimes. I have these weird heart palpitations about 10-15 times per day. Doesn't matter if I'm stressed, calm, exercising, tired, awake, whatever. My heart will be beating just fine and then all of a sudden it will just tweak out and do a series of double beats. There are times where I'll sit here and be like "Dear god, please beat again" once it stops. I'm convinced I have some sort of abnormal arrhythmia. H thinks I'm being paranoid.

Celles · January 2012

Jcb and Marrin, I'm right there with you. H has been unemployed since April --although in his defense, he was unemployable for about half of that. I've been supporting us both and haven't exactly been gracious about it, which is really unfair of me since I'm the reason he left his job in the first place.

I hate living paycheck to paycheck, and I've recently come to realize that I resent H, first for all of his free time, which I definitely do not have, and second for the fact that he turned down several promotions in Canada because he didn't feel right taking on more responsibility for a company he knew he would eventually have to leave (again, because of me). He worked for a bank for our entire four year LD relationship and only has teller experience to show for it, which means even now that he's found part-time work, it's entry-level responsibility with entry-level pay, all over again.

It will be a long time before he's able to make the kind of money I do, which isn't a lot by any means, but is enough to support both of us on a tight budget. I feel trapped -- I can't afford to lose or leave my job, no matter how much it frustrates me -- and stressed out all the time because of it, while H is so relaxed about the entire thing. He comes from money and has never had to support himself, let alone face the consequences of failure, while I've been doing it since I was 17. It's an unfortunate source of friction in our relationship.

krizzo17 · January 2012

mehgank - have you ever seen a cardiologist? Take your pulse after this happens next time - it sounds like the way I used to feel when I had an episode of SVT (it's not serious, don't freak out!) My heart would feel like it skipped a few beats, then my pulse would race, but I couldn't always feel it.

Nebb · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confessions-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:136b112c-5ca2-41fe-bcbc-fb2b1edb7abfPost:d004e814-0625-446a-86fd-f7f42b59e694">Re: confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Ohh thanks for the tip, Mara! Sesh, I have the iTriage app on my phone, and any time I look up symptoms, I just keep scrolling until the word 'cancer' appears. I can be a horrible hypochondriac sometimes. I have these weird heart palpitations about 10-15 times per day. Doesn't matter if I'm stressed, calm, exercising, tired, awake, whatever. My heart will be beating just fine and then all of a sudden it will just tweak out and do a series of double beats. There are times where I'll sit here and be like "Dear god, please beat again" once it stops. I'm convinced I have some sort of abnormal arrhythmia. H thinks I'm being paranoid.
Posted by mehgank[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry to keep quoting you but OH MY GOD my heart feels like it does that too and I've been scared I was gonna die a few times, scared enough I wrote adam a goodbye note in case. I got lots of tests done and my heart is totally fine lol

Marrin713 · January 2012

Aw Sesh....I came back on to this thread to ask if you've ever been evaluated for any AI disease such as RA or PA, and I read that you're looking at RA. I also have nodules that come and go and pain and burning in too many joints to list, but my RA factor was not high enough for the rheumatologist to give me a dx of RA. She does however feel it's a combination of RA and psoriatic arthritis. It's really a round and round with AI diseases and can get pretty discouraging because in the meantime you're in pain and want answers. Good luck!

Marrin713 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confessions-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:136b112c-5ca2-41fe-bcbc-fb2b1edb7abfPost:66f3cc34-0efd-44c5-8aa0-755a515f8708">Re: confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]Jcb and Marrin, I'm right there with you. H has been unemployed since April --although in his defense, he was unemployable for about half of that. I've been supporting us both and haven't exactly been gracious about it, which is really unfair of me since I'm the reason he left his job in the first place. I hate living paycheck to paycheck, and I've recently come to realize that I resent H, first for all of his free time, which I definitely do not have, and second for the fact that he turned down several promotions in Canada because he didn't feel right taking on more responsibility for a company he knew he would eventually have to leave (again, because of me). He worked for a bank for our entire four year LD relationship and only has teller experience to show for it, which means even now that he's found part-time work, it's entry-level responsibility with entry-level pay, all over again. I will be a long time before he's able to make the kind of money I do, which isn't a lot by any means, but is enough to support both of us on a tight budget. I feel trapped -- I can't afford lose or leave my job, no matter how much it frustrates me -- and stressed out all the time because of it, while H is so relaxed about the entire thing. He comes from money and has never had to support himself, let alone face the consequences of failure, while I've been doing it since I was 17. It's an unfortunate source of friction in our relationship.
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

Celles, yes every word you wrote. There are times when I am not gracious at all, and sometimes downright resentful. And it's not right because he does everything he can in the way of side jobs. And maybe if I was not so stressed in my job situ, I wouldn't be so friggin' wigged about this, but the truth is I hate my job and I am really beginning to dislike the doc I work for and that makes me even bitchier. Also at this point in our lives, I thought we'd be doing more things like travel etc. No kids at home, just me, H, and the cats and here we are financially strapped. I sound like a great big ungrateful baby, but there it is.

number55 · January 2012

Confessions

a) I wrote out an explanation of what happened at work but it was long and convoluted and sounded really stupid. So yeah, not going to share.

b) I ate a whole chocolate letter yesterday (we get them at Christmas, they are Dutch, it's our first initial in milk chocolate). I have been struggling to eat healthly for the last few days. I think my confession is more that I don't care but know that I should. Not because of the weight loss, just because I should care. And I know one chocolate bar isn't the end of the world. It's more why I ate it. I don't know if I am ever going to get over my emotional eating issues. Thats probably more where my confession lies - I am really ashamed about my relationship with food.

(Please don't all bash me about being crazy about weight loss - that isn't what this is about. And this is a really honest, and vulnerable confession).

edit: I should add: I realize I talk a lot about my weight/eating habits on here so it would be really easy to think that I have huge issues with it. I will admit that it is something I struggle with every day but I am sure it looks worse than it really is, I guess you would have to know me to know that it isn't as bad as I am sure I am portraying it to be...let's just say that none of my IRL have any concerns! I know I should be careful about how much I vent about that stuff here, but it is a confessions thread, and this is what was on my mind.

Steph0871 · January 2012

FWIW, numbers, I still think you're one of the most inspiring people I've 'met' on here. You really have put in the effort to not only get healthy, but understand the science behind it all. I seriously admire that.

That being said- obligatory response: its' ok. Chocolate isn't going to kill you. Did you at least savor it?

krizzo17 · January 2012

number - the emotional relationship with food was huge for me, too. I think the biggest change in the past 9 months for me has been just this - not really what I eat, but why I eat. Whenever I feel myself starting to eat for an emotional reason, I force myself to say what I'm eating and what it should do out loud - for example "I'm going to eat this entire bag of chips so that in the future, my parents won't ignore my phone calls"

Once you see the logic behind it, it makes it easier to resist. Hope this helps - and good for you for the honest confession!

Y I Oughta · January 2012

My confession if that I want to tell H we should get KU with in a month or two so we can have the baby before the wedding I'm in next year in May. I also think we should do it now because I only get child support from my ex-h for three more years and that pays my car payment. I want to take 3 years to be a SAHM, but I don't want H to have to pay everything. If that makes me an asshole oh well. H and I support the kid and her dad does the minimum.

alynne1113 · January 2012

I confess that I cannot wait to put my mother in law into a home and leave her there miserable and alone, for all the crappy stuff she has done to me and her son.

number55 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_confessions-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:136b112c-5ca2-41fe-bcbc-fb2b1edb7abfPost:3e448864-88c8-4092-8ea0-2c8df79cf55c">Re: confessions</a>:
[QUOTE]FWIW, numbers, I still think you're one of the most inspiring people I've 'met' on here. You really have put in the effort to not only get healthy, but understand the science behind it all. I seriously admire that. That being said- obligatory response: its' ok. Chocolate isn't going to kill you. <strong>Did you at least savor it?</strong>
Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]

<div>Fvck yeah, I cut my M into three parts. We put all the chocolate in the storage closet so each time I wanted another piece I had to go back in there to get it. I made a point to eat it slowly - or at least as slowly as I can - that is something I am trying to work on. I appear to suffer from this notion that if I don't eat all my food really quickly it will somehow disappear, like someone is going to steal it from me or something, which is ridiculous, so one of the things I am trying to work on is eating slowly. I appear to eat things more quickly when I know they aren't good for me - out of guilt I am sure. So if I am chosing to eat something that isn't healthy, I make a point in savouring it, otherwise, what's the point?</div>

mehgank · January 2012

Number - I get what you're saying. A lot of food issues are very internal, so I'm sure that it's on your mind.

When I had my eating disorder back in 2006/2007 (I was anorexic, I got down to about 105lbs), it felt like all I ever thought about was food. It got to the point where I was almost afraid to even touch it, because it felt like the fat could seep through my skin. I remember all I would eat at work was black coffee and strawberries w/splenda. Then at home I'd eat a few crackers, maybe an apple, and just pick at my dinner. It's crazy, I know, but at the time my brain was my enemy. I kept a journal at that time, and the stuff I said back then didn't even sound like 'me'. No one had clue that I had these guilty/self-hating thoughts because I never said them out loud.

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