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flipside1794 · April 2011

,

SarahPLiz · April 2011

Go away and continue being rude to your guests. THEY will care, and they won't care who paid for the party you are inviting them to. It doesn't matter who paid, a bad host is a bad host. Period.

NatesGirl16 · April 2011

Once, someone put an insert in a wedding imvite and it ate my first born.

BunnyChii · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:b3627c13-7ca2-46b1-b691-da6a0c82c69a">Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]Once, someone put an insert in a wedding imvite and it ate my first born.
Posted by NatesGirl16[/QUOTE]

<div>*gigglesnort*</div>

cupcakesfrosting · April 2011

Oy.

Steph0871 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:48e2d16e-e4ea-4ea3-b34b-b406ad832f71">Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am getting married in May. I've been reading over some of the posts on various topics and all of these etiquette rules are making my head spin. I think some of them are ridiculous. <div>Who cares if you put a registry insert in an invitation envelope? <strong>your guests.</strong><div>Who cares if you state that you don't want kids at your reception?<strong> your guests</strong>.</div><div>
</div><div>No one is going to remember the inserts that were in your wedding reception a year from now, so why worry? Nowadays, a lot of brides pay for their own wedding, so why not do things your own way? There's enough pressure on brides to plan their perfect wedding to begin with and all of this strict etiquette just piles more on top of it. I've finally snapped and I am throwing tradition to the wind! Carpe diem!
Posted by flipside1794 [/QUOTE]</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>I think the only people who don't care about etiquette are rude people, so there's that.

</div></div>

SereJane · April 2011

No I don't think those rules are outdated. I hate getting invites with registry inserts. They're just rude. I am perfectly capable of finding registry info without the bride and groom telling me in their invite.

anna.oskar · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:48e2d16e-e4ea-4ea3-b34b-b406ad832f71">Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am getting married in May. I've been reading over some of the posts on various topics and all of these etiquette rules are making my head spin. I think some of them are ridiculous. Who cares if you put a registry insert in an invitation envelope? Who cares if you state that you don't want kids at your reception? No one is going to remember the inserts that were in your wedding reception a year from now, so why worry? Nowadays, a lot of brides pay for their own wedding, so why not do things your own way? There's enough pressure on brides to plan their perfect wedding to begin with and all of this strict etiquette just piles more on top of it. I've finally snapped and I am throwing tradition to the wind! Carpe diem!
Posted by flipside1794[/QUOTE]

Etiquette and tradition are two very different things.

Etiquette are the rules that govern socially acceptable behavior.

*A registry insert implies that a gift is expected or required. I would gift you Post's Etiquette book and bookmark the pages that discuss the rudeness of registry inserts.

*You don't have to have kids at your reception. Just don't invite them. Specifically stating that children are not welcome, is exclusionary and just rude since of course they aren't invited if their names are not on the invite.

jasmineh7777 · April 2011

Putting registry info in an invitation is rude because you're assuming everyone wants to buy you gifts. That's rude.

Putting "no kids" is rude because you're making a point to exclude people. Just list the names of those invited. When someone tries to rsvp for their child, kindly explain that only those named on the invitation are invited.

I don't think etiquette is outdated. I think being rude has become commonplace, and that's unfortunate.

midgetthemighty · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:29b0c509-49b0-4d67-95e3-ac4ad445a593">Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]Putting registry info in an invitation is rude because you're assuming everyone wants to buy you gifts. That's rude. Putting "no kids" is rude because you're making a point to exclude people. Just list the names of those invited. When someone tries to rsvp for their child, kindly explain that only those named on the invitation are invited.<strong> I don't think etiquette is outdated. I think being rude has become commonplace, and that's unfortunate.
</strong>Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

That!

plato79 · April 2011

hahaha - NatesGirl.

I think that some of the wedding etiquette rules should be interpreted more under Roman-style law, rather than English-style law. My minimal legal history knowledge is that English style law developed with a strict adherence to laws (i.e.. if the light is red, you stop and stay there...no matter what...until it's green); Roman style law gives a bit more flexibility (i.e. if the light is red, you stop, but if there isn't anyone else around, you can proceed without a green light).

I think in some social circles people would be offended by silly things, but in other circles it's perfectly acceptable practice to ignore certain rules. One of my biggest pet peeves about certain knotties is that they can't see beyond their etiquette rule box. There's a big reason I don't care to post on the Etiquette board.

I feel like the dollar dances, open bar, stating "adults only" on invites, etc. debates are really something that you have to decide and settle for yourself. No amount of overly-self-important-rule-touting bridezillas should sway you if something is the norm in your social circle. Social norms are always evolving and those who can't change will be left in the past.

Edit: that all being said, I do think there are nicer ways of getting the same result. Instead of writing "adults only" just listing the people who are invited is much more respectful. Or, sending out a STD with a wedding website, which also lists your registry, again is a much more genteel way of accomplishing the goal of hinting about the registries.

NatesGirl16 · April 2011

True story-etiquette is what distinguishes us from common hoars. You don't want to be a common hoar, do you?

Blueyed228 · April 2011

Why is the excuse "Im paying for my own wedding" always used to justify rudeness.

jasmineh7777 · April 2011

Plato, I think a dollar dance is a bit different than including a registry card in the invitation.
Regardless, the "overly-self-important-rule-touting bridezillas" are trying to be POLITE. Worrying about others seems a far cry from narcissism.

anna.oskar · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:9555fe10-313d-4803-830e-7e7174654825">Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]hahaha - NatesGirl. I think that some of the wedding etiquette rules should be interpreted more under Roman-style law, rather than English-style law. My minimal legal history knowledge is that English style law developed with a strict adherence to laws (i.e.. if the light is red, you stop and stay there...no matter what...until it's green); Roman style law gives a bit more flexibility (i.e. if the light is red, you stop, but if there isn't anyone else around, you can proceed without a green light). I think in some social circles people would be offended by silly things, but in other circles it's perfectly acceptable practice to ignore certain rules. One of my biggest pet peeves about certain knotties is that they can't see beyond their etiquette rule box. There's a big reason I don't care to post on the Etiquette board. I feel like the dollar dances, open bar, stating "adults only" on invites, etc. debates are really something that you have to decide and settle for yourself. No amount of overly-self-important-rule-touting bridezillas should sway you if something is the norm in your social circle. Social norms are always evolving and those who can't change will be left in the past.
Posted by plato79[/QUOTE]

You're preaching to the choir.

She's not just choosing to throw out basic etiquette for herself, but encouraging all of us to "seize the day" (despite how dumb that sounds in this context) and to not care about something that SHE deems unnecessary despite the fact that many of us DO come from areas where etiquette is followed for formal events.

Steph0871 · April 2011

I think dollar dances are far more tacky than registry info on an invite. Just sayin'

Granted, we didn't do etiher, but still.

maratea · April 2011

I remember every wedding invite I've gotten and the one that stands out like a thorn was my cousin and his wife's invitation, which had a registry insert... that said "We are registered at [thisstore] but cash is preferred." My aunt was mortified that they included that. I was embarrassed for them.

NatesGirl16 · April 2011

I've actually only seen registry inserts in invites, but mainly for showers (definitely have seen them for weddings, though). Until that one ate my baby, I never thought much of it.

Blueyed228 · April 2011

In my social circle registry info is expected on shower invites, but not ok for wedding invites.

BunnyChii · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:3ea47286-7614-4766-8c59-fd0f8354c046">Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think dollar dances are far more tacky than registry info on an invite. Just sayin' Granted, we didn't do etiher, but still.
Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm not going to debate whether they're tacky or not, but the only dollar dance I saw was incredibly awkward. After announcing the dollar dance, NO ONE got up to dance with the bride or groom for a couple minutes. In the end, only the parents/grandparents paid to dance with them several times in a row. I can't imagine they got more than $10-15 so I didn't really see the point of it....</div>

jasmineh7777 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:3ea47286-7614-4766-8c59-fd0f8354c046">Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think dollar dances are far more tacky than registry info on an invite. Just sayin' Granted, we didn't do etiher, but still.
Posted by Steph0871[/QUOTE]

I didn't want to do a dollar dance, because I find that kind of attention horrifying. So, my Grandma decided it would be a GREAT idea to INTERRUPT our first dance for a dollar dance. YEAH.

BunnyChii · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:8b899288-dd7f-444e-a480-0d2d5bd72573">Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated? : I didn't want to do a dollar dance, because I find that kind of attention horrifying. So, my Grandma decided it would be a GREAT idea to INTERRUPT our first dance for a dollar dance. YEAH.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Whooaaa, what? How did she manage that, may I ask??</div>

jasmineh7777 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:6808f1ad-30db-439f-a287-8c38d2e5cc1e">Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated? : Whooaaa, what? How did she manage that, may I ask??
Posted by BunnyChii[/QUOTE]

She talked to the DJ. I'm assuming she told him that is what we wanted?
I wanted to DIE. I still have nightmares about it sometimes.

plato79 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:8b899288-dd7f-444e-a480-0d2d5bd72573">Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated? : I didn't want to do a dollar dance, because I find that kind of attention horrifying. So, my Grandma decided it would be a GREAT idea to INTERRUPT our first dance for a dollar dance. YEAH.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh my gosh! Gotta love grandmothers, right? We aren't doing a dollar dance (I never liked them), but I could totally see my gram doing the same thing. Too funny! :)</div>

Celles · April 2011

For someone who is SOOOOO proud to be SOOOOOO untraditional, there's an awful lot of pointless justifying going on in your planning bio, OP.

anna.oskar · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:57af11f8-2bc2-48ab-a1b9-739985fd8b4c">Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated? : I'm not going to debate whether they're tacky or not, but the only dollar dance I saw was incredibly awkward. After announcing the dollar dance, NO ONE got up to dance with the bride or groom for a couple minutes. In the end, only the parents/grandparents paid to dance with them several times in a row. I can't imagine they got more than $10-15 so I didn't really see the point of it....
Posted by BunnyChii[/QUOTE]

Out of the around 20 weddings I have attended in my area, only one didn't have a cash bar or dollar dance. That was our wedding. They are completely common and almost totally socially acceptable here. Expected even.

luckyme502 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:48e2d16e-e4ea-4ea3-b34b-b406ad832f71">Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am getting married in May. I've been reading over some of the posts on various topics and all of these etiquette rules are making my head spin. I think some of them are ridiculous. Who cares if you put a registry insert in an invitation envelope? Who cares if you state that you don't want kids at your reception? <strong>No one is going to remember the inserts that were in your wedding reception a year from now, so why worry?</strong> Nowadays, a lot of brides pay for their own wedding, so why not do things your own way?<strong> There's enough pressure on brides to plan their perfect wedding to begin with and all of this strict etiquette just piles more on top of it.</strong>I've finally snapped and I am throwing tradition to the wind! Carpe diem!
Posted by flipside1794[/QUOTE]

1. I remember that stuff, and I think it is rude.
2. No one is putting pressure on you to plan a perfect wedding but <strong>you</strong>. We didn't plan a perfect wedding. I felt very little stress about planning our wedding. We had a lovely imperfect wedding, we treated our guests well. We didn't put registry info in our invites, we didn't announce in our invitations that kids weren't invited, we didn't ask guests to pay for things at our reception.

jasmineh7777 · April 2011

Yeah, stuff that takes places AT the wedding is a lot more specific to region. But man, the invite sets the tone. If the tone is GIVE ME STUFF, then I think you're a big jerkface.

katiewhompus · April 2011

We did a dollar dance just to placate my grandma. I had already broken her heart by not getting married in a church and felt bad. It was hella awkward until my friends broke the ice and then it was actually a ton of fun. Plus I got to dance with my grandpa.

The only wedding invite I've received a registry invite for was the infamous "stallion" wedding. Except it wasn't an insert, just a long slip of paper stapled to the invite that said "We are registered at the following places". I still haven't received a thank you note from them...

NatesGirl16 · April 2011

Eeeeep, Jas. That's insane.

BunnyChii · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_anyone-else-think-wedding-etiquette-rules-outdated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:75267307-0974-43ab-a51b-a00b91479dd5Post:61f8c666-bb5b-4d5a-af97-de5ff1728650">Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Anyone Else Think That Wedding Etiquette Rules Are Outdated? : She talked to the DJ. I'm assuming she told him that is what we wanted? I wanted to DIE. I still have nightmares about it sometimes.
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

<div>Geez, that's awful. I'm so sorry, jas! That must've been pretty horrifying. =/</div>

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