Help with family members

Re: Help with family members

• 2dBride member

  

  March 2010 edited December 2011

  Won't it be obvious from the names that it is a same-sex wedding?  If so, I don't think you need a separate ketter.
  
  ETA:  My initial response wasn't meant to suggest that you shouldn't call them or sound them out at the family reunion.  If you call family members, or if your FI is with you at the family reunion (or even if you just talk to family members about her then), you may well get a much better sense of whom you want to invite.
  
  We just kind of did things the other way around.  Everyone in my family had long since met NotFroofy by the time we were announcing our engagement.  I therefore just sent out invitations, and figured that those who had a problem with gay marriage would simply fail to attend.
  
  As it happened, only one family member had an issue with our marriage--a brother-in-law that no one really likes, for a whole variety of reasons.  He did not show up, and tried to talk my sister into not going, either.  For once in her life, my sister defied him, and just came by herself.  He was not missed.  ;-)
  
  I'm definitely sending you lots of good thoughts on the process of coming out to the rest of your family.

  
  Our wedding bio page (including vendor reviews) and items for sale

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• daniec

  

  March 2010 edited December 2011

  My fiancee and I took the opportunity to have short discussions either by phone or in person with aunts and uncles who weren't aware we were together. They were all supportive and hesitant. It was a little nerve wracking getting past my own fear of rejection to come out to these grand aunts and uncles.

  
  

  I am glad I did it. I am very clear on who I want to invite due to their reactions. There are some people I feel fully confident in not inviting. I've leaned on my supportive family members and friends to make the whole planning process a dream.

  
  

  Go to your family reunion. Take the opportunity to speak with family members you want to invite. I personally would not invite people who are unaware of your relationship or who will not support it.

  
  

  Good luck!

  
  

  Dana

  

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• ElfJedi7

  

  March 2010 edited December 2011

  Thank you!  I guess sometimes its good to hear it from someone else dealing with the same issues.

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• JCKG04

  

  March 2010 edited December 2011

  I have to agree with the previous poster. Take the opportunity to explain to the family members whom you would like to invite to the wedding. I have found it is much better to have this conversation in person as you can see the persons reaction as well as hear it. I have a similar situation in my family. I dont speak to or see my dads side of the family unless there is a major event. The last time I saw them was at my brothers graduation(2008). My fiance accompanied me to the event. My moms side(whom we are very close to) all knew her and that she was my girlfriend(at the time). As for my dads side, they didnt ask and I didnt tell them. I know they wouldnt be supportive, nor would they understand, therefore are not invited to the wedding. 

  My fiance and I are purposely only inviting those whom will share our joy, and truly support us! 

  
  

  GL!

  
  

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• mishy112

  

  April 2010 edited December 2011

  You could also include an engagement photo of the two of you in the invitations. I think that people who are not supportive will self select themselves out of being there anyway. Good luck!

  

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• ElfJedi7

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  Thank you again to everyone who replied.  It has helped an awful lot!  We will see how the family reunion goes   And I am planning on telling my grandmother, who im sure already knows, but just won't say anything.  Thank you for all the suggestions. 
  
  Peace to you all!

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