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Wedding Etiquette Forum
kxp004
member
MIL has special cake request
So my FI and I went to select our cake, and afterwards we were discussing it with his ma... it was then that she made a special request... She wanted to know if they made gluten free cakes at the cake shop and if we would make the entire cake, which will serve 150 people, gluten free.... Apparently,my FI's distant older step brother's wife and children can't/won't eat anything that contains gluten...They are on these special diets that tell you what you can eat according to their blood type.... but regardless, am I being selfish for not wanting to make a gluten free cake? What is the polite way of handling this situation?
She said that sometimes they "fudge" their diet, so why can't they "fudge" it for the wedding cake?
She said that sometimes they "fudge" their diet, so why can't they "fudge" it for the wedding cake?
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Re: MIL has special cake request
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BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
I think your mother in law is being a little ridiculous. If you're having other desserts, make sure they can eat some of those or have a small cake just for them if you know that they would appreciate it.
Beyond that, I think, is overkill.
A few of my cousins are allergic to gluten and on the gluten-free diet. They are so used to not eating it that it wouldn't even occur to them they cake is there. Also I have tried a gluten free cake and they aren't very good. They can also be also be pricey.
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So does your FMIL also want your entire menu to be gluten-free? Why just the cake?
I might look into serving them gluten-free meals and a separate gluten-free dessert, but I certainly wouldn't make my wedding cake gluten-free.
If I had a dietary restriction, I would probably eat before I came to the wedding if I thought that I wouldn't be able to eat whatever was being served.
too. bad.
they don't have to eat it if they don't want it just like someone who doesn't like the flavors offered doesn't have to partake.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]So my FI and I went to select our cake, and afterwards we were discussing it with his ma... it was then that she made a special request... She wanted to know if they made gluten free cakes at the cake shop and if we would make the entire cake, which will serve 150 people, gluten free.... Apparently,my FI's distant older step brother's wife and children can't/won't eat anything that contains gluten...<strong>They are on these special diets that tell you what you can eat according to their blood type....</strong> but regardless, am I being selfish for not wanting to make a gluten free cake? What is the polite way of handling this situation? She said that sometimes they "fudge" their diet, so why can't they "fudge" it for the wedding cake?
Posted by kxp004[/QUOTE]
This sounds more like a fad diet than an actual dietary restriction to me, which makes her request even more ridiculous.
You could always do a small second dessert to meet their needs if it's in your budget.
[QUOTE]In Response to MIL has special cake request : This sounds more like a fad diet than an actual dietary restriction to me, which makes her request even more ridiculous. You could always do a small second dessert to meet their needs if it's in your budget.
Posted by nhelene[/QUOTE]
It is. A fad diet I mean. I bought the book several years ago. Pain in the butt.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]I have Crohn's disease and some food allergies and it's very common for me to not be able to eat something or most things at an event. I would NOT do a total gluten free cake. Ask whoever is making the cake if they can do some gluten-free cupcakes if you want to, but honeslty, don't worry about it. I know I'm food restricted and it's tough, I often snack before events and just eat what I can, and I never bitch about it, or would THINK to!
Posted by Knittibell[/QUOTE]
<div>I second the suggestion to do a few gluten-free cupcakes to accommodate your FMIL's request. This way you get the cake you want and you don't have to have an argument with FMIL.</div>
We are having italian food (pasta parmigiana or however you spell it, fet. alfredo, etc...) i dunno if that has gluten in it.... we have to make a special meal for my FFIL because he's allergic to garlic...
but like i said i dunno if pasta products have gluten in it
The most I've ever done is once when the meal was chicken and shrimp or beef and shrimp, I called the bride and asked the shrimp be left off my plate on account it could kill me. She told the caterers to take the shrimp from one plate at table 5 and stick it on another plate due to allergy my fi got extra shrimp... and I was surprised when, during the clam chowder appetizer, I was served chicken noodle soup- so kind of her to think of it! Even calling her for that, I felt bad.
Don't worry about it, really.
oh and there will be cheese and fruit and veggie trays during the cocktail hour...
that should be good right?
Maybe I'll check into the cupcakes just cause there are kids...but yeah everything y'all have said makes sense, i just want to make sure she doesn't get PO'd cause I didn't change the cake
An alternate dessert would be reasonable. Remaking the entire wedding cake would not.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
If I was really close to these people, I'd get them a little cake just for them.
But if they're doing this to be on a fad rather than because of a lifestyle choice, health restriction or religious restriction, I'd say no.
[QUOTE]oh and there will be cheese and fruit and veggie trays during the cocktail hour... that should be good right? Maybe I'll check into the cupcakes just cause there are kids...but yeah everything y'all have said makes sense, i just want to make sure she doesn't get PO'd cause I didn't change the cake
Posted by kxp004[/QUOTE]
Maybe another fruit tray could be put out around the time the cake goes out. Then you would have a second dessert that would satisfy people with dietary restrictions and people who just plain don't like cake.
And yeah, pasta is very high in gluten. If it's really an issue for them, you might consider a special meal for them. But a meal is different from dessert.
We'll see if she mentions anything about the pasta
@tenofcups4me
oh and nice tarot card
[QUOTE] @tenofcups4me oh and nice tarot card :)
Posted by kxp004[/QUOTE]
:-)
You're the first person who's ever commented on my SN's meaning here. I'm not sure if you're the only one who knows what it means or if others know, but haven't commented. It's a favorite of mine (for obvious reasons!)
People on vegetarian diets could just not eat the food too, but we consider it polite to offer them a food option.
If they are on a gluten free diet then it would be polite to provide them with a gluten free option. Whether they are doing it as a fad or as a necessity. Anything that uses a wheat flour is gluten, so pasta, cakes, most crackers, breads, etc. My mother is not allergic to gluten but she is sensitive, and if she eats any she will be sick beyond belief the next day.
Gluten free cupcakes are delicious and easy to make. I had a regular gluten cake but had both regular and gluten free cupcakes. Even my friends who could eat wheat ate the gluten ones because they said they tasted better.
You could also work with the caterer to see if they could make gluten free pasta in portions for those allergic.
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