poll:living together before marriage?

jaycee7389 · April 2011

i think some people, mostly blush, are taking the whole "test run" thing too literally. it's not like one day we woke up and said "hmm i want to move in with my bf/gf and see if i'll ever be able to marry them."

i was still living at school when i met my bf, and he was renting a house with his friend. after a while we realized we wanted to live together, alone, and have our own place. we were financially able to buy a condo so that is what we did. then we moved in together, and now we have learned so much more about each other than before we lived together. it was never a requirement for marriage or anything like that..it is what we wanted to do, so we did it, and it ended up being the best decision we made so far in our relationship. end of story.

matuofm · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:c210606e-d188-446d-b436-7a3364cf8e5a">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: poll:living together before marriage? : wait, wait. I don't think anyone is necessarily talking about engagement...just moving in. Of course engagement means being ready to get married...that's the point of being engaged. You are getting married at a set time. Living together can happen before engagement. You've heard of, "First comes love, then comes marriage" right? Well, you can have a few things in between. First comes love, then comes moving in together, then comes engagement, then comes marriage. it's just a path, and some people choose to skip moving in. Living together really has nothing to do with what you just said.
Posted by mstar284[/QUOTE]

Ooh - I see how that could have been misunderstood. I just meant that we are one of those couples that chose to skip the "moving in" step. At the moment that we agreed that we were ready to live together, we also knew that we wanted to get married. So we got engaged. Or, to put it another way: when FI proposed, we could have decided that we wanted to do that test run of living together for a year or two before getting married, but we didn't want to wait and do that. We wanted to get married as soon as we could get a wedding planned. My point was just that for us, there WAS no period of time where we just wanted to live together, and that we're comfortable witth the fact that (because of this) we're not really going to have lived together before marriage.

CassandraPotter · April 2011

no, we claim we are Christians and that would contradict everything we stand for if we live together before marriage. So, no, I wouldn't live with my FI before we get married and we haven't.

kmf218 · April 2011

I am actually writing a paper about religious views towards pre-marriage living for my World Religions class (not that it has much to do with this, I just thought it was interesting that this poll came up while I was writing it).

My FI and I moved in together in 2007 way before we were engaged. We are high school sweethearts and went to the same college. We had two roommates (Dan and David) but after we got engaged we moved back to where we grew up (to be closer to family) and rented a house with a friend. That friend moved to DC for a job and we lived a lone, long story short, due to some pretty crappy events my brother and his 2 boys are now living with us.

When we first moved in together with Dan and David our families saw it as us "playing house" because our scholarships paid the rent and the facility we lived in was designated off campus living and the utilities were included in the rent. So we didn't have the pressure of bills. They didn't agree with it and told us we would split up because of it. When the semester was over we (like most students there) weren't happy with the paper thin walls of the complex so Dan, David and my FI and I decided to move into a townhouse. Another argument with our parents..

Here we all had a lot more responsibility but all 4 of us had good jobs so we didn't struggle for a lot, dont get me wrong we had plenty of PB&J dinners but the bills were always paid on time and we didn't rely on our parents. After my FI and I got engaged, like I said earlier, we moved back to our hometown and rented a house with my FI childhood friend. This is where we had a lot of our fights. His friend worked as a freelance audio technician/production manager and was on the road a lot and never got paid a steady check. Being freelance, he had to wait a minimum of 30days to get a check for any job. So my FI and I had to pay a lot of the bills on our own and our roommate liked the best of the best because he could afford it but only because he saw a "due date" as "a suggested payment date".

That being said, you can imagine how upsetting it was to have the power turned off in the midst of midterm week while half of my classes were online and my FI and I were broke....yeah...not fun...After my FI friend moved out though my FI and I were able to get rid of all the extra crap we were paying for and work together to get out of the red. As crappy as that experience was I am thankful for it because it brought us closer together and showed our parents that us moving in together before we got married wasn't us just "playing house" but the way we wanted the progression of our relationship to go. Granted its not for most but it helped us in a lot of ways.

I do agree with some of what Blush had said about not wanting to disrupt her children's lives. I am assuming they are from a previous marriage and that she had a bad experience with moving in with her ex before they were married based on what I read (could be wrong but go with on this). I agree that relationships get a lot more complicated when children are involved and a good parent will take their needs into consideration before moving in with someone but I also think it might be beneficial for the children to live with their future step father/mother before the marriage. My FI mom did just as Blush64 is and did not live with her FI before they were married. My FI and his brothers had met him and gone on vacations with him but after his mom got married to him their relationship changed. His step dad wasn't the guy they did fun stuff with anymore, he was the disciplinarian and it was a shock. It was hard for him and his brothers to get used to this other side of their step dad. My aunt did the opposite and after she got engaged to my uncle they went with my cousins to pick a house and moved in together. After they were officially married my cousin didn't see her relationship with my uncle change at all. Living with him before my aunt and him were married helped both my cousins adjust better a "new dad". I'm not saying that what Blush64 is doing or what my FI mom did is wrong. I'm just saying from experience I have found that living together before the thought of marriage or during an engagement has helped all parties involved. Thats just my opinion, I don't want to step in any toes, just answering the OP.

CassandraPotter · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:558b4879-f5f0-4088-91a1-117e045827bb">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: poll:living together before marriage? : I find it a little hypocritical that you have these strict morals about not living together before marriage, but you have children already. You won't live with your fiance before marriage, but you have no problem having children with someone? I don't understand why living together is so wrong, but raising children together is just fine. I guess you could reconcile this if you have been married and divorced, and these children are from your first marriage. I was assuming these are children between you and FI.
Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]
Usually in situations like that the children aren't planned. even if they are planned and some people decide to have a more strict life style later-- oh well. Live and learn. More power to her just because she has kids and is engaged and ISN'T living with her FI

vicki0508 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:3a2e9d92-b15c-40a6-b1f8-a8dd546a04e3">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]no, we claim we are Christians and that would contradict everything we stand for if we live together before marriage. So, no, I wouldn't live with my FI before we get married and we haven't.
Posted by CassandraPotter[/QUOTE]
I'm legitimately curious, not being snarky. Is it anti-Christian to simply cohabitate? Even if you're in separate bedrooms? Or does it only become anti-Christian when you start having premarital sex?

I've never heard of cohabitating being against the Bible, or sinful, but I'm not exactly up to speed.

mstar284 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:63ba2719-bb07-43d0-830a-5e8209ba06ed">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: poll:living together before marriage? : I'm legitimately curious, not being snarky. Is it anti-Christian to simply cohabitate? Even if you're in separate bedrooms? Or does it only become anti-Christian when you start having premarital sex? I've never heard of cohabitating being against the Bible, or sinful, but I'm not exactly up to speed.
Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

I'm pretty sure it's considered "living in sin..." but I'm not really a student of the Bible-- Just what I've gathered from what others have said.

MyNameIsNot · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:b7306a1d-9ee0-4d12-ae6f-74b7011b5d8d">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: poll:living together before marriage? : Usually in situations like that the children aren't planned. even if they are planned and some people decide to have a more strict life style later-- oh well. Live and learn. More power to her just because she has kids and is engaged and ISN'T living with her FI
Posted by CassandraPotter[/QUOTE]

<div>Obviously, they aren't planned. That's totally irrelevant.</div><div>
</div><div>The whole moral qualm with living together is because it means you have sex. But obviously, she's ok with pre-marital sex, because that's where kids come from. That's what makes her a hypocrite. (As PP said, assuming they aren't from a prior marriage.)</div>

vicki0508 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:12f51875-0489-4fe1-b030-7c0b9083be48">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: poll:living together before marriage? : I'm pretty sure it's considered "living in sin..." but I'm not really a student of the Bible-- Just what I've gathered from what others have said.
Posted by mstar284[/QUOTE]
That makes sense. I guess I just always assumed that "living in sin" meant they were having premarital sex. Because premarital sex is considered sinful, whereas sleeping in separate rooms but cohabitating (like you would with a roommate) doesn't appear to be committing any sins. But I have no idea.

JCM10 · April 2011

FI and I lived together, but with a roomate, for one summer during college. We didn't (and still don't) sleep together, so I had no moral argument against it. I was really scared going into it, because (even though we hadn't discussed it) I knew it was going to tell us whether we'd be able to live together in the future or not (this was almost 2 years before our engagement). It went wonderfully, and it does put me at ease about moving in with him when we get married. I think it helped knowing it was only for 3 months...even if it didn't go well, there was no long term commitment.

sherrbearr22 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:c1bd825d-7b53-4f01-9b12-fd3b44542a49">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: poll:living together before marriage? : We didn't view it as a trial run at all. Though I guess some people go into it thinking that way. My point was just that, even without that being the intention, it sort of becomes a trial run anyway since for many people it could end up being the thing that helps them to decide whether or not they want to go any further into the relationship. Is that making sense?
Posted by LessThanZero[/QUOTE]

LTZ - yeah, you make complete sense. I just now read what you and Blush had been saying. (I hadn't read PPs before my post, I just answered the poll). But actually I think you hit the nail on the head. There are things to be said for living together vs. not living together before marriage and both are valid but it just depends on the couple.

FI and I moved in together just a few months before getting engaged but, like you, we didn't go into it being like well if this doesn't work I'm outta here but at the same time, I mean that's just a fact for some. For some people cohabiting ends up being a make it or break it. I think that's what you were getting at, right?

ETA - I cracked up at your new sig quote from Anna, wish I would have thought about snagging it before you ;)

KoriA · April 2011

I moved in with my boyfriend about 9 months ago, one of the reasons was because I am in college in and trying to save money, we currently live with his cousin as a roomate. We never thought about this living together as a 'test run' or whatever and we didn't solely make the decision based on saving money. We did it because we love each other and it just felt right. I think the majority of people on here believe that its better to live with your FI before marriage, and I agree, there is a lot to learn about your FI before marriage, and sometimes you find things that maybe you can't handle or you figure out a way to deal with it. My FI and I have learned a lot from each other and we are still learning from and about each other. For example we are learning how to deal with each other's moods, my FI tends to not show much emotion, so I don't know when I'm doing something he doesn't like or whatever, and I tend to show too much emotion. FI is teaching me how to control my emotions an I'm teaching him how to show his. So, could we do this without living with eachother, I think we could but not to any extent as we do now, especially because we are with each other a lot. However, I agree that if you have children, you have to think about them first. I agree that a woman with children, especially younger children should not live with a man before marriange for lots of different reasons.

tayylor65 · April 2011

My FI and I have lived together for a little over 2 years. I moved in really quickly, just a few months after we started dating b/c my family was having issues (I was living back at home) but finances were completely separate and I just moved my clothes in--he had his apartment furnished.

Things ended up turning out really well. We started talking about engagement after about a year and I bought a puppy (still kept finances separate though). When FI found out he'd be inheriting his late grandmother's house which needed a full renovation/addition he bought a ring, proposed, and we began designing our 1st home together.

The course we took was both very unusual and very lucky but either way I wouldn't marry someone I didn't live with prior. I know my parents wouldn't support our wedding if we hadn't been living together and gone through so much stress together (building the house) due to our ages--I'll be 23 on our wedding day, moved in with him when I was 20 and he's 4 years older.

We learned so much about our quirks-I'm horrible in the morning and he's as good at picking up behind himself as a preschooler; it drives us both crazy but we've learned how to handle it in a positive way and move forward.

blush64 · April 2011

EDIT: I am editing this because I wanted to appologize first. (and to make this bold) I am sorry for not writing edit. I did it so as to clarify what I wrote when I thought it was taken wrong. I didn't do it to be mean or wrong. I am sorry. I really don't want to make anyone angry or upset. I am really not having the best day with words today. Below is what I had written here originally because I also wanted to make clear my kids are not the kids of my FI.

I am back and I would like to mention that my kids are not the kids of my FI. They are mine which is why I mentioned that he isn't allowed to sleep over. Also, my moral reasons for not allowing him there is not due to religion. I don't really care what others do. It's also not about sex.

"I find it a little hypocritical that you have these strict morals about not living together before marriage, but you have children already.
You won't live with your fiance before marriage, but you have no problem having children with someone? I don't understand why living together is so wrong, but raising children together is just fine.

We aren't raising children together. I raise and pay for my own children without support of any kind. I work full time.

I was in an abusive marriage that I stayed in and tried to make work until I realized what was best. I don't think that's hypocritical. EDITED to make bold because that's the important part.

This is the first and only man I have ever introduced to my children. I introduced him to them after we knew we loved each other and were ready to be married. We then introduced him and let them get to know each other because if didn't work with the kids I would not have married him. Now we are getting married.

So, no he is not the father of my kids. The father of my kids is in another province and should he come back I will be calling the police.

I really, honestly, never would have written anything here if I thought people would get so angry. I was just sharing my take on the situation.

hellerc1 · April 2011

I met FI, we had our first date and have been together since, I moved in 2 months after that first date. It's been 4.5 years and 2 country's. We are getting married in Sept. I think living together has made us who we are today. We are stronger than ever and the next step for us is marriage and family. I have never lived with another guy other than him. When I moved in it was just right for us. My view is each to their own.

vicki0508 · April 2011

I guess that's why I put the caveat in there. From your posts it wasn't clear if the children were yours from a previous marriage or with FI.

You don't have to apologize for the way you live your life. The way you choose to raise your kids is not offensive to me in the least. You stated your point of view, and I kind of disagreed. There's no hard feelings (at least on my end), and no reason for you to be upset or feel that you offended anybody.

It's fine to disagree with people around here. For the most part we all still get along. Stick around and continue to post. Hearing different opinions is what it's all about.

blush64 · April 2011

Thanks, I really like coming here. I just don't want to get anyone angry because I'm not like that. I respect the opinions of other but I have a hard time getting my words straight sometimes. I didn't want to offend people and not be able to come back. There's lots of good advice on here. It's kind of addictive.

sherrbearr22 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:072a71ed-a9b0-4d74-92e6-8f4c4f5ff3f0">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks, I really like coming here. I just don't want to get anyone angry because I'm not like that. I respect the opinions of other but<strong> I have a hard time getting my words straight sometimes.</strong> I didn't want to offend people and not be able to come back. There's lots of good advice on here. It's kind of addictive. :)
Posted by blush64[/QUOTE]

Me too. It sounds so good in my head and then when I type it out and read it back I'm like WTF am I talking about. And it's also harder to interpret the tone when you only have text to go of off.

lavenderfields13 · April 2011

There are many different opinions on this- I was also going to say that that study seems to make no sense but a few others have already said it's a very old study. Before I was with my BF now I always thought people should definitely live together before marriage. I then met a friend who had a different opinion- she thought this takes the romance and excitement out of marriage-somewhat like what Mstar said..and I totally agree. I mean I am going to be moving in with my BF in a few months and we probably still wont be engaged yet and I'm very excited to do so but it will be a little disappointing that once we do get marrried nothing will have changed except my last name.
But for the people who say you NEED to live with someone before marriage I disagree..especially if he stays at your place/you stay at his place. If you decide you want to be with someone for the rest of your life you should already know them pretty well. I you can't handle little quirks you're just not meant to be together..something you should have already figured out before you move in

CassandraPotter · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:63ba2719-bb07-43d0-830a-5e8209ba06ed">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: poll:living together before marriage? : I'm legitimately curious, not being snarky. Is it anti-Christian to simply cohabitate? Even if you're in separate bedrooms? Or does it only become anti-Christian when you start having premarital sex? I've never heard of cohabitating being against the Bible, or sinful, but I'm not exactly up to speed.
Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]
I don't know much about what it says about living together. but if you live together before you're married you're skating on thin ice because its easier to have pre-marital sex. Its one of those things they say you shouldn't do because it will tempt you. Sort of like when an alcoholic goes into a bar, its easier to drink. I will get back to you on the living thing though.

CassandraPotter · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:03e54247-e5cd-4e60-813f-1c7628e11570">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: poll:living together before marriage? : Obviously, they aren't planned. That's totally irrelevant. The whole moral qualm with living together is because it means you have sex. But obviously, she's ok with pre-marital sex, because that's where kids come from. That's what makes her a hypocrite. (As PP said, assuming they aren't from a prior marriage.)
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]
okay well people who are calling her a hypocrite are completely judging her life and acting like they know 1.) how the kids came about 2.) her past 3.) her present
it doesn't make any sense as to why people are calling her a hypocrite when they know nothing about her situation.

theluckiest555 · April 2011

Thank you all for giving your opinion. I will now give you mine.

I probably sounded like I was someone who was debating whether or not to move in with FI. I think that is how I came off, so I'm sorry if I misled you all. I am living with my FI now and have been for about a year. We actually moved in together not long after we started dating lol. Eveerything in our relationship has moved fast, which is a ccompletly differebt story that I will not waste yout time with here but I would be happy to share if anyone wants to know.

Obviously then, I think that it has absolutely been the right thing for us to do. Maybe it wouldnt work for some couples, but it did for us. We have gotten to know eachother sooo much more than we would have otherwise and it definitely does a good job prepping us for marriage. For exaample, I have found out more about his financial habits and how messy he is (which I kinda knew already haha) It just has been great for us.I cant really think of any cons....except that maybe sometimes when we argue I wanna get away from him.... and in thise times the apartments seems REALLY small haha.

Thats usually when I go take the dog out for a walk.

As for that study mentioned, I have heard it many timres in several different classes and I have always thought it was bogus. The best explanation I got from one of my teacchers was that couples who live together before marriage are usually moreliberal and would be more likely to get a divorce, while people who dont live together tend to be more conservative and would be less likely to get a divorce because of religious obligations. I think that some PPs were getting at this too. While this expanition makes sense, I am still skeptical.

I mistly just wanted to see what people thought about this issie. So thank you all for answering my question!

mjmartel · April 2011

I have a B.S in Psychology and on my way to a masters.... the "studies" you are most likely refering to were conducted in the 80s before cohabitation became popular. Check more recent studies.

As a psychology student you need to make sure you are a critical consumer when reading articles. Be sure to check the resource and the date of research before depending too much on the information.

karmellah · April 2011

i think it has made our realtionship stronger. we've lived together for 3 years and been engaged for 11 mths. Its nice knowing eachothers habits, and moodswings lol. I think living together is just as much as a commitment as marriage. Some people do nto believe in marriage so theyre less commited to the person theyve lived together for 18 years? I dont think so. I dont think there anythign wrong with waiting to live togehter either. Just do what you feel is best for the two of you.

barbie92 · April 2011

My FI and I were not planning on living together before marriage. I was raised that you aren't supposed to do that.
However, I became sick and I now require a lot of help(showering, getting dressed, ect). When I became sick my FI just wouldn't leave me. So he now lives with me and my parents. He helps take care of me when he is here. I think that it was really good for him to be here so he really knows what he is getting into!

I never thought that living together before getting married would be a good idea, but I think that for some people it really is.

LessThanZero · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:f98f1809-25b3-4ec8-b571-59115211679f">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: poll:living together before marriage? : LTZ - yeah, you make complete sense. I just now read what you and Blush had been saying. (I hadn't read PPs before my post, I just answered the poll). But actually I think you hit the nail on the head. There are things to be said for living together vs. not living together before marriage and both are valid but it just depends on the couple. FI and I moved in together just a few months before getting engaged but, like you, we didn't go into it being like well if this doesn't work I'm outta here but at the same time, I mean that's just a fact for some. For some people cohabiting ends up being a make it or break it. I think that's what you were getting at, right? ETA - I cracked up at your new sig quote from Anna, wish I would have thought about snagging it before you ;)
Posted by sherrbearr22[/QUOTE]

Thank you, I was starting to think maybe I was crazy. I am in full support of those who don't want to live together before marriage, it's not for me, but do as you wish. It's your prerogative.

I agree some great things can come from living together and vice versa. To each their own.

And Blush, you didn't upset me or make me mad really, but I was kind of annoyed at the way you added on to things after the fact. It happens, and it's no big deal but if you're going to oppose or talk about an issue passionately, just back it up. I don't have any issue with your situation or why you chose to do things the way you do. As a child of domestic abuse, I respect the way you're choosing to do things, though I don't see anything wrong with choosing to do the opposite.

theluckiest555 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:b5e9db80-9645-4e09-bcf1-0b021ba19f67">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a B.S in Psychology and on my way to a masters.... the "studies" you are most likely refering to were conducted in the 80s before cohabitation became popular. Check more recent studies. As a psychology student you need to make sure you are a critical consumer when reading articles. Be sure to check the resource and the date of research before depending too much on the information.
Posted by mjmartel[/QUOTE]

You are right. Like I said, I think the studies arn't worth much, I've just noticed that I've heard this piece of info in several different psych classes, so I wanted to see what everyone thought. I haven't really had time to do alot of other research on this topic, though I should because I am interested in relationships and sexuality.

Ghoti · April 2011

I'm Christian, Fi is Catholic, we've been living together for 3 some odd years.

Adam and Eve lived together before they were married

kgettingmarried · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:c3427c58-5233-4ee9-80e4-d7d70ee269ec">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]When you live together before marriage, you get to know the persons habits and all of that and everything so you get used to it. You wont be a stranger, you'll have your home/apt/etc together and it will feel more natural and easier to get used to. Im SO glad I live with FI now.
Posted by stacie+luciano[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Exactly. When FI and I first moved in together, we had all kinds of things to work out, like who did what chores, how to structure weekends (ie, how to plan them so we both got to do what we wanted, and relax how we needed to), how often to go out, what we both enjoyed for dinners, etc etc etc.</div><div>
</div><div>We also started thinking of our money as "our" money, and had some different opinions about how it should be spent (and these discussions enabled us to come up with a plan we can both agree on for future finances, well before we got into buying a house together/etc).</div><div>
</div><div>I am so glad we lived together - within the first year of living together, we worked everything out to where we are both happy with it and now when we get married, we don't have to discuss it. We'll just continue to live as usual, and the stress/craziness of the wedding and buying a house will be less exhausting since we have some foundation laid already.

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kgettingmarried · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_pollliving-together-before-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1da09a20-4996-4f76-b582-b4954d1f9267Post:b510f442-48b6-4ddf-bf2b-ac8be53cd561">Re: poll:living together before marriage?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: poll:living together before marriage? : I get not wanting to live together for religious reasons, but unless every sin you commit contradicts EVERYTHING you stand for, this one wouldn't either. Sorry, but the Bible says no sin is greater than the other, so that little white lie you told aunt millie last year is just as detrimental to your Christian standing. That's kind of the point of Christianity, the whole 'we aren't worthy, so God sent us a Saviour who is to sacrifice himself for us."
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Word. This is right on, glad to see another Bible reader out there!

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poll:living together before marriage?

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