ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS

BRITTANY143dsl · May 2011

Its getting to the point where I want to cancel my The Knot account.... the whole point of this community and being able to post and reply is to help other brides out not post rude replies... Im all for freedom of speech but Im also for "if you have nothing nice to say...." Im new to this forum and as I read other peoples posts and the replies on my posts Im starting to wonder why everyone is so bitter....

What really upsets me is when people start arguing with each other and name calling. and also is it really needed for 5 people to post a reply saying look through the forum before posting a question? I already looked through the forum and didnt see anything that was what I was asking. is it really that big of a problem for people to post questions that may have been posted days or weeks ago and is lost in all the posts?

Im sure ill get rude replies to this post.. but seriously this is supposed to be a happy helpful site! lets get back to it

also some replies that are extrememly rude are from misreading/misinterpretation of the question....

thanks ladies

lets stay nice and helpful!

zitiqueen · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:fcf2c308-f645-4c1f-957d-fa856b9feda6">ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]Its getting to the point where I want to cancel my The Knot account.... the whole point of this community and being able to post and reply is to help other brides out not post rude replies... Im all for freedom of speech but Im also for "if you have nothing nice to say...." Im new to this forum and as I read other peoples posts and the replies on my posts Im starting to wonder why everyone is so bitter.... What really upsets me is when people start arguing with each other and name calling. and also is it really needed for 5 people to post a reply saying look through the forum before posting a question? I already looked through the forum and didnt see anything that was what I was asking. is it really that big of a problem for people to post questions that may have been posted days or weeks ago and is lost in all the posts? Im sure ill get rude replies to this post.. but seriously this is supposed to be a happy helpful site! lets get back to it also some replies that are extrememly rude are from misreading/misinterpretation of the question.... thanks ladies lets stay nice and helpful!
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

Amt2109 · May 2011

I see where you're coming from, but at the same time - I've read your posts today.

I've lurked here for a while now... and every day I see similar questions to yours. Every day.

If the ladies seem like they're being mean - well, look at it from their point of view. How many times a day do you think they write the same thing over and over again? They don't mean to be mean. But, there's only so many times you can write 'No, you can't replace a BM' or 'No, you have to invite a s/o' before you get a little frustrated.

And - I usually try and stay away from the flaming posts... you can pretty much tell which ones they are from the original post... the ladies round here don't like bridezillas. And sometimes - they're human too, as well as fonts of knowledge - bridezillas round here can get their backs up.

Go with the flow, and don't take it all so seriously.

BRITTANY143dsl · May 2011

I try lurking but it gets tiring reading subject headers that arent specific to the post... I wish for double posting reasons ladies would post the exact content of their post in the subject line to make lurking and searching easier and to eliminate double posts...I have seen many many bridezillas on here and I enver understand why everyone cant jsut get along! I see more postive feedback on facebook!

Pinot21 · May 2011

" is it really that big of a problem for people to post questions that may have been posted days or weeks ago and is lost in all the posts?"

yup.

redheadfsu · May 2011

Oh gosh, relax. You still got helpful advice. Calm down.

Amt2109 · May 2011

Well, it depends how often you log on. I come on here daily - so lurking isn't much of an issue when you're reading a couple new threads on each board. Takes about 20 mins and is part of my morning routine.

I guarantee you that if you look down the lists, and read a few threads, on the first page alone you'll find 5/6 things that answer the main questions.

Plus - the threads at the top of the main page - faqs and the like - tell all of the main points these ladies say all the time.

Think of it this way... when these ladies save you from making an etiquette faux pas (and maybe, sometimes they don't use the most polite of terminology)... it pays dividends with how your guests and wedding party and family members etc see you and your day.

BRITTANY143dsl · May 2011

thank you AMT2109 for your helpful advice! I dont come on here daily only whenever I get a chance to and I have been hitting the "watch" button on many helpful threads so I wont have to double post but Ill lurk a little harder!

Arayx2 · May 2011

On my first post - I was offended but you also have to realize; you asked a question to a bunch of strangers - you have to be open to their opinions. Don't take it personal - I am sure no one has come out and said "I hate you" but reading A LOT of different posts have helped answer questions I had without asking. A very large population of these women are on here to help us and not to be jerks. I promise!

futurepivko · May 2011

i didnt see your other posts and threads, but if you dont like it here then delete your account.

[Deleted User] · May 2011

All of the ladies over on E gave you accurate, sound advice. I don't see the issue.

One thing you have to understand is that some of the ladies around her have actually met each other and are friends with each other IRL. So something that might come off as rude to you is probably just a joke between them. A lot of ladies over on E are like that.

That is why it is recommended that you lurk for awhile to see which board(s) suit you well.

[Deleted User] · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:d7a80fd2-65bc-45cf-af49-e3aaf39cba44">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]i didnt see your other posts and threads, but if you dont like it here then delete your account.
Posted by futurepivko[/QUOTE]

Over on E. She asked several questions today.

dannie134 · May 2011

I think you also have to realize that from your perspective, you are asking a question because you want/need information to help you plan your wedding. But to people answering questions, they obviously already know the information themselves, so the only way it's worth their time to keep answering the same questions is if they keep things interesting by interacting with each other and making the occasional off-topic comment. I know it's hard not to take things personally when it's so important to you, but if you take a step back and realize that in the end you are getting honest advice that will help make your wedding more fun for your guests, it's actually worth it.

Honestly, would you prefer that people were only nice and avoided telling you if you were making a mistake, even if it were true? Personally I'd rather hear it from some internet strangers and fix it before doing something that might offend my friends and family in real life!

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2011

It never goes over well when a newbie tells brides who have been on here for a year or so how the knot is supposed to work.

thesequel · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:4c1603bd-3176-4a9c-87ca-804c67933bc4">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]All of the ladies over on E gave you accurate, sound advice. I don't see the issue. One thing you have to understand is that some of the ladies around her have actually met each other and are friends with each other IRL. So something that might come off as rude to you is probably just a joke between them. A lot of ladies over on E are like that. That is why it is recommended that you lurk for awhile to see which board(s) suit you well.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

<div>Agreed. Brittney - you were given sound advice by strangers who don't know you or how easily you get offended. You have lots of time until your wedding. Take PP advice and lurk a while. You will find the answers and realize that not everyone is being rude, you may not be getting your ideas validated - it's a different thing.</div><div>
</div><div>Good luck and take a deep breath!</div>

BRITTANY143dsl · May 2011

thanks ladies for the kind words to the ones that gave them!

I am not trying to tell veteran brides of the knot how the knot works and I posted 3 posts on Etiquette board today I dont come on here often so when I do I want to take advantage of it and get good advice from other members!

I was going on the boards from topic to discuss with them stuff relating to the board topic I guess I didnt know the concept of finding a board that best suites me and just posting whatever on it but I will now! thanks

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:012d10d0-634c-4e63-8aa3-95dab10f6d35">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE] I am not trying to tell veteran brides of the knot how the knot works
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

You sure?

[QUOTE]the whole point of this community and being able to post and reply is to help other brides out not post rude replies...[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]but seriously this is supposed to be a happy helpful site! lets get back to it[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]lets stay nice and helpful![/QUOTE]

BRITTANY143dsl · May 2011

thats telling them how it works? lol I didnt mean in it that way....thats general etiquette for any community board and real life is to be nice and positive well at least thats how I am

I live by the treat others how you want to be treated rule!

Amt2109 · May 2011

TBH, I've found these boards (and yes, even the etiquette board) actually nicer and more helpful than other such boards.

But I guess thats just personal experience.

Arayx2 · May 2011

** I still think you are taking this too personal **
Just move on - read a little bit more.
TK forums are super helpful. It would be sad to delete your account.
Do you quit your job if someone at work offends you or do you tell them to buzz off and move on!!
Hang in there and again read lots and lots of posts!!!

futurepivko · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:9f8466a7-64f7-4f71-8068-927b9d36910b">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS : Over on E. She asked several questions today.
Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

ahhh yes. i see that now :)

noodle_oo · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:2117de67-4413-425b-8e58-050ba4c5e5e0">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]thats telling them how it works? lol I didnt mean in it that way....thats general etiquette for any community board and real life is to be nice and positive well at least thats how I am <strong>I live by the treat others how you want to be treated rule!</strong>
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

Oh yeah? So you love it when a stranger shows up and lectures you about how to behave too?

BRITTANY143dsl · May 2011

if im behaving badly then yea I should get lectured jsut as if your child was behaving badly....but I am not lecturing anyone we are all adults I simply asked a question and posted a concern to see if others felt the same.... I guess im just a different type of person because I couldnt write something rude or hurtful on someones post...I only comment on someones post if it will help with the topic of the post... I will now kno not to take everyones replies so seriously and I do truly appreciate all the helpful advice I get on here!

J&K10910 · May 2011

So I'm not trying to be bitchy, but what were you hoping to accomplish by going AWAY from the board you seem to be having trouble with and posting somewhere else about it? Why not say it in the thread in question to the people that are bothering you. If you look, at least one of them actually even apologized to you.

Ghoti · May 2011

Brittany, step away from the CAPS LOCK.

Ghoti · May 2011

i2i J&K.

Mrs.B6302007 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:2117de67-4413-425b-8e58-050ba4c5e5e0">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]thats telling them how it works? lol I didnt mean in it that way....thats general etiquette for any community board and real life is to be nice and positive well at least thats how I am I live by the treat others how you want to be treated rule!
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

Pretty much. You're lecturing other adults on how to act/respond on the forum.

ahhhitsshannyn · May 2011

Just calm down, you got good advice so continue on with your day. And like I said in one of my previous posts, use the search tool at the bottom of the screen. That tool will help you more than looking at the title of the thread. No big deal, but do not get worked up about it. Like everyone else said, there is a dynamic here that you have to get used to, and telling people how to act will not go over well.

noodle_oo · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:27d3db91-e54c-41a7-853c-f69062893c5a">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>if im behaving badly then yea I should get lectured jsut as if your child was behaving badly</strong>....but I am not lecturing anyone we are all adults I simply asked a question and posted a concern to see if others felt the same.... I guess im just a different type of person because I couldnt write something rude or hurtful on someones post...I only comment on someones post if it will help with the topic of the post... I will now kno not to take everyones replies so seriously and I do truly appreciate all the helpful advice I get on here!
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

I'm just curious: who exactly are you to judge that we are "behaving badly"? You are the new person joining an established online community. Many of the people you are complaining about have been members for far longer than you. And many of them tried to warn you that you were the one who should actually learn about how the community works before you jump in and go nuts posting.

Also, comparing members of the community to "children behaving badly" is incredibly condescending and rude. Maybe you are the one who needs to think about their own behavior before you go lecturing everyone else.

I saw all your posts on E today and they were annoying me way before this thread came up. I think you had way too much caffiene this morning before you started posting.

PS. Also, I hope you don't lecture other people's kids when they are "behaving badly" as the bolded part seems to imply. Or else you are probably in for a world of trouble. Either that or you are implying that you are our parent... which is even more troublesome.

LDYGTR13 · May 2011

Um. I apologized over there.

I feel like shiit and I'm sorry you had to come to Chit Chat to vent about how evil we are.

BRITTANY143dsl · May 2011

you are obviusly misreading my post reply I NEVER said they where behaving badly you are the one that said would I lvoe to be lectured. IM GETTING SICK AND TIRED of the very few of you replying to my post and misreading it... i posted 3 posts on there how about you read EVERYTHING before you post and I appreciate the veteran brides that are giving me sound advice but this in an onlin community and jsut beacuse some of the women have been on ehre for years doesnt mean they can be rude to newbies do they run this site? do they control this site? and many of the people im compalining about...im not compalining about anyone in particular I just stated an opinion based on numerous rude replies I have seen on all kinds of peoples posts...i was just trying to get some clarity on why some people are rude on here and its funny how many rude responses I got which just proves my point.....I wish everyone the best and good luck with there futures I am not going to respond to ridiculous replies anymore...

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