Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony

K27Lynn · April 2012

I always find it annoying when guests take pictures during ceremonys, usuallly because they are blocking anothers view & it's distracting. How can I politely let guests know to keep their cameras away until the reception? And even then just to take pictures with me & FI or other guests?

eirwyn · April 2012

Short answer: You can't.

First of all, how would you enforce that? Secondly, you can't expect guests not to take pictures at a wedding, nor can you limit them to which pictures they can take.

If the ceremony venue doesn't allow flash photography, then that would be an obvious exception.

LaBellaVita23 · April 2012

Wait, so you want to dictate what photos they take at the reception? Why?

LaBellaVita23 · April 2012

Is anyone else picturing the OP storming across her reception hall to rip a camera out of grandma's hands because she took a picture of the centerpieces?

pokepoke27 · April 2012

You could hire a security guard to confiscate cameras at the door. Oh, you'll have to take up cell phones too because most of those have cameras on them.

Other than that I'd say you should just not worry about it....

(This should go without saying, but I AM kidding about the security guard thing.)

Starqueg · April 2012

You could probably put something down on your website about prefering people not to take pictures during the ceremony, but it'll be unenforcable. I mean, are you going to stop the ceremony and glare at people when you see them with cameras or cellphones out?

redheadfsu · April 2012

You can't.

Even if you did, people will still take pictures and everyone will think you are a witch for suggesting them not to.

If it is venue policy, then I would have the venue make an announcement right before the ceremony starts, not you.

littleluckypenny · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-pictures-during-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:64a09273-6896-4b2c-83af-62ac08a5c381Post:b2a85b9f-a3d9-44f5-825b-0ff783d5ab81">Re: Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Short answer: You can't.
Posted by eirwyn[/QUOTE]

Yes you can. Our officiant states no pictures during the ceremony; the marriage is a religious and sacred event, and therefore must be treated as such. Therefore, no pictures during the ceremony.

Is your ceremony is a place of worship?

littleluckypenny · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-pictures-during-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:64a09273-6896-4b2c-83af-62ac08a5c381Post:43dc6db6-fb31-4682-b13f-e3b5f86adc99">Re: Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony : eirwyn said that right after she gave the short answer.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

She states ceremony site. I answered regarding the requirements of the officiant.

ootmother2 · April 2012

There are churches that restrict flash photos during the ceremony. A pro can do it but most rookies cant'. If that is the situation, put it in the program

If it's just a whim of yours,get over it

K27Lynn · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-pictures-during-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:64a09273-6896-4b2c-83af-62ac08a5c381Post:4940da7b-6258-43cc-afc4-d5548ee3ccb1">Re: Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony : Yes you can. Our officiant states no pictures during the ceremony; the marriage is a religious and sacred event, and therefore must be treated as such. Therefore, no pictures during the ceremony. Is your ceremony is a place of worship?
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]

No. I just think it's rude when guests are in aisle taking pictures as the bride is walking down (I've seen guests do it). That's what the photographer is for. It also makes it harder for other guests to see if everyone in front of them are holding up cameras.

LaBellaVita23 · April 2012

I would just let it go OP. You can't micromanage your wedding day or you will go insane.

Also, can you please explain why you also want to restrict the reception photos? That just makes absolutely no sense at all.

K27Lynn · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-pictures-during-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:64a09273-6896-4b2c-83af-62ac08a5c381Post:10e7bce8-4af0-4407-ab71-9cb65754b7f8">Re: Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]I also want to know more about the reception photos.
Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

As for the reception I meant like during "events" such as first dance, speechs. I will have the rights to my photos so I can share them later. I don't want anyones view blocked because Uncle Danny decided to play photographer when I already have one.
I try to stay out of others peoples ways at events so everyone can see. Maybe it's just because I'm short and always seem to get pushed to the back.

LaBellaVita23 · April 2012

OP - do you realize that by creating all these rules (which you won't be able to enforce anyway), you are ruining the atmosphere MORE than if someone just happens to be blocked by Uncle Steve?

Let it go.

LaBellaVita23 · April 2012

Andplusalso, I thought it was awesome to see everyone's photos from our wedding and not just our photographer's. Our photographer could only be in one place and some of guests caught some great moments that our photographer wasn't able to. I always figured the more photos the better!

One of my favorite photos from our first dance is from DH's cousin.

CFM102012 · April 2012

I've went to a wedding where it was either in the program or the officiant said that due to the contract with the photographer they were asking guests to please refrain from taking photos during the ceremony. Of course that was before a majority of phones had cameras with decent photo abilities.

katehar01 · April 2012

OP, I get where you're coming from (i'm short, too!) but I'd really try to let this go. Guests have been taking photos at weddings for years, and photographers are paid a lot of money to know how to get great pictures despite these interferences. It'll be fine.

katehar01 · April 2012

Beat me to it, crfb:)

LaBellaVita23 · April 2012

I didn't interpret her issue as people getting in the photographer's way, just other guests' which makes it even more of a non-issue.

pokepoke27 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-pictures-during-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:64a09273-6896-4b2c-83af-62ac08a5c381Post:5af3ca91-0fa5-46ca-bad5-efdd4e4019a1">Re: Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, some of my best photos came from my guests.
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm really looking forward to seeing photos that my guests take. I've created a photo share site with shutterfly and will have a bunch of business cards with that info on it so people can upload their pictures and see the ones that other people have taken. Not that I expect a ton of people to do this, but a few might. </div><div>
</div><div>OP - you do know that a wedding reception is supposed to be FUN right? Micro-managing everyone is not fun.</div>

Grits8812 · April 2012

If there is no rule from the venue saying "no photography", you can't tell your guests to keep their cameras away. They are there to see you get married, they will want a photo of it. You can't tell them what photos to take at the reception either. I love taking photos, and if I'm only allowed to take photos with you or the groom in them, things would get boring picture wise real fast. Not to mention then, when you see them online, they are all going to look the same.

cperez1212 · April 2012

I'm a lurker, but I just had to respond to this post. My parents were married in the 70's and had a professional photographer. Their house burned down in 1980. The only photos of their wedding that sill exist are those that were taken by their family members. Of course, I know that everything is digital nowadays, and this issue is thereby different due to time and space. However, I don't think that it is the wisest plan to put all of your "memory" eggs in one basket. Also, other people may want to remember your wedding as well, especially if they are members of your family.

eirwyn · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-pictures-during-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:64a09273-6896-4b2c-83af-62ac08a5c381Post:003c39f7-63b2-4ace-9646-2f12b1a2a736">Re: Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony : She states ceremony site. I answered regarding the requirements of the officiant.
Posted by littleluckypenny[/QUOTE]
Clearly, I meant ceremony site or officiant. My point was that unless it's mandated by someone at the venue/church/ceremony site/officiant's house/park/backyard/etc, she'll have a hard time enforcing this.

hollyweenOR · April 2012

I'll be the voice of partial dissent here- I agree that you can't really dicatate anything during the reception. Let your photog work around the amateurs! And yes, your guests will capture parts of your wedding that your pro will miss! But you can *politely* request in your programs and via your officiant before the ceremony begins that guests hold photos until after your vows. There was a really lovely blog post about this on Offbeat Bride, http://offbeatbride.com/2011/06/unplugged-wedding , with most of the couples basically asking guests to participate with full presence of mind and heart during the brief ceremony, and promising that professional photos would be up on FB or similar sites within a day (and working with their photogs to get a small selection of shots within a day via email- a half-dozen or so from the entrance of the bride to the end of the vows), so people could have those shots. It can be done delicately, not in a demanding, bridezilla way, but I'd definitely put the emphasis on the focused sanctity of your ceremony and not that you don't want people standing in the aisles or whatnot. I think if you always remember- these people are there because they love you and they want to share the day with you, and treat them as such, you can't go too far wrong.

QueerFemme · April 2012

I think I have the only differing opinion here... but, after everyone is seated, one of our groomsmen is going to make a quick announcement to the guest about photos. We don't mind people taking photos (we actually want to encourage it), but what we DON'T want is a bunch of pictures posted to facebook before the ceremony is even over. So, before I get there/walk down the aisle, the groomsman is going to ask everyone to take their seats and say something like "we encourage you to take photos during the ceremony, but please refrain from posting any photos to social networking sites".

it won't guarantee that there won't be pictures on facebook 5 minutes after I walk down the aisle, but we are hoping it will help.

NOLAbridealmost · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-pictures-during-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:64a09273-6896-4b2c-83af-62ac08a5c381Post:bfafe384-2987-4b2e-8574-ecdd37cbbdbf">Re: Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll be the voice of partial dissent here-There was a really lovely blog post about this on Offbeat Bride, <a href="http://offbeatbride.com/2011/06/unplugged-wedding" rel="nofollow">http://offbeatbride.com/2011/06/unplugged-wedding</a> , with most of the couples basically asking guests to participate with full presence of mind and heart during the brief ceremony...It can be done delicately, not in a demanding, bridezilla way, but I'd definitely put the emphasis on the focused sanctity of your ceremony and not that you don't want people standing in the aisles or whatnot.
Posted by hollyweenOR[/QUOTE]

<div>We've heard this argument before. In my mind, it's condescending to tell adults where their minds and hearts should be during the ceremony. If you've invited someone that you don't think will care enough about seeing you get married to behave appropriately, then perhaps they should not be on the guest list at all. </div><div>
</div><div>I'd give a major eye roll to any "instructions" in the program that focus on the sanctity of the ceremony and not a practical consideration. "Please keep the aisle clear so that all may see" comes off a lot better than "Please stay in your chair and put your camera down to ensure your entire focus is on me" (which is exactly how "sanctity of the ceremony" requests sound no matter how they're phrased). </div>

banana468 · April 2012

In Response to Re:Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony:[QUOTE]I think I have the only differing opinion here... but, after everyone is seated, one of our groomsmen is going to makenbsp;a quick announcement to the guest about photos. We don't mind people taking photos we actually want to encourage it, but what we DON'T want is a bunch of pictures posted to facebook before the ceremony is even over.nbsp;nbsp;nbsp; So, before I get there/walk down the aisle, the groomsman is going to ask everyone to take their seats and say something like "we encourage you to take photos during the ceremony, but please refrain from posting any photos to social networking sites".nbsp;nbsp; it won't guaranteenbsp;that there won't be pictures on facebook 5 minutes after I walk down the aisle, but we are hoping it will help.nbsp; Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

This might get photos posted out of spite.

mkrupar · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-pictures-during-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:64a09273-6896-4b2c-83af-62ac08a5c381Post:fbc3dec0-1795-4f46-a666-7f1c15d0e92f">Re: Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]I think I have the only differing opinion here... but, after everyone is seated, one of our groomsmen is going to make a quick announcement to the guest about photos. We don't mind people taking photos (we actually want to encourage it), but what we DON'T want is a bunch of pictures posted to facebook before the ceremony is even over. So, before I get there/walk down the aisle, the groomsman is going to ask everyone to take their seats and say something like "we encourage you to take photos during the ceremony, but please refrain from posting any photos to social networking sites". it won't guarantee that there won't be pictures on facebook 5 minutes after I walk down the aisle, but we are hoping it will help.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

This is rude. Way to treat your guests like the adults that they are. Who cares if someone posts a photo of you before the cermeony is over? Most people won't. You're going to make the 99% of your guests that won't do this feel like a bunch of children. You cannot control what your guests do. Sorry.

And to piggy back off the person who's parents house burned down, I knew of a photographer who's equipment was stolen at the end of the night (out of her car) and lost ALL of the pictures. So guest photos of the ceremony/reception may be all you have. Those can't be staged at a later date.

ceh789 · April 2012

Yeah, a 'no Facebook' announcement would get a major side-eye from me.

That said - I have 2 guests who (IMO) are Facebook crazy. Over the months of wedding planning I've worked into conversation that I hope there won't be any FB updating or Twittering during the wedding. I hope they got the message and will be respectful of my wishes but if not... I can't really do anything about it.

SparrowSong · April 2012

I tend to be easily annoyed by a lot of things, but I got to say that people taking photos and even putting them on fb immediately wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I certainly wouldn't be telling guests what they could and couldn't do. To me, this sounds like another thing where some brides have their wedding day confused with control-the-universe day.

pokepoke27 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-pictures-during-the-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:64a09273-6896-4b2c-83af-62ac08a5c381Post:04d09916-37e2-4076-a6f4-86da38a80aa1">Re: Asking guests to not take pictures during the ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]I tend to be easily annoyed by a lot of things, but I got to say that people taking photos and even putting them on fb immediately wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I certainly wouldn't be telling guests what they could and couldn't do. To me, this sounds like another thing where some brides have their wedding day confused with control-the-universe day.
Posted by SparrowSong[/QUOTE]

<div>This is exactly what I was thinking actually. </div><div>
</div><div>I mean, the only thing I would have against pics of my ceremony/reception going up on facebook while the wedding is going on is that it would make me feel kind of bad for the few people that didn't get an invite that might see it. I have been VERY careful to avoid talking about my wedding around these people, and don't post much about my wedding to FB. But, really, on my wedding day thats so not something I'm going to be thinking about.</div>

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