Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Not Engaged Yet
chendrix77
member
How many of you have....
bought your wedding dress even though you are not engaged yet?? My bf has not proposed yet, though he is looking at rings and we have set the date but he wants to find the right ring. I have found my dress and my mom and I want to go look at it, would it be stupid to go a head and purchase the dress, even though I am not officially engaged yet? Help!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How many of you have....
[QUOTE]bought your wedding dress even though you are not engaged yet?? My bf has not proposed yet, though he is looking at rings and we have set the date but he wants to find the right ring. I have found my dress and my mom and I want to go look at it, <strong>would it be stupid to go a head and purchase the dress, even though I am not officially engaged yet?</strong> Help!
Posted by chendrix77[/QUOTE]
Yes, it would be stupid. If you are questioning it, then you know it isn't right.
You CAN be engaged without a ring. A ring does not an engagement make. An engagement is an agreement between two people to get married. When both of those people agree that they are engaged, that is all it takes.
What is the date?
Maybe I worded that incorrectly, I don't personally think it is stupid or wrong to do it. I just wanted to see if anyone else had purchased their dress before receiving their ring. My wedding date is set for 11.11.11.
Does he know you are looking? How does he feel about it? Does he consider your wedding date official?
If you were engaged IMO it would be way too early to buy your dress.
Ask a number of girls here, me included, about having dress doubts after purchasing the dress less than a year before their wedding.
So many new dresses and styles will come out and if you were to purchase something a year and half out you are bound to have dress doubts.
[QUOTE]Maybe I worded that incorrectly, I don't personally think it is stupid or wrong to do it. I just wanted to see if anyone else had purchased their dress before receiving their ring. My wedding date is set for 11.11.11.
Posted by chendrix77[/QUOTE]
Does that date hold some important to the two of you as couples? Do you already have a venue? (Until you have a venue, you do NOT have a date.)
Now, I just think you are stupid for chosing a 'trendy' date.
Talk to your BOYFRIEND about buying a dress and see how comfortable he is with it. I personally think it is putting the cart before the horse.
Also, you do NOT need to buy your dress over 18 months in advance. You could end up with dress envy/regret. Wait until you are a year out from your actual wedding date before buying a dress.
It isn't crazy to look at dresses if you have both agreed (he's asked and you've said yes) that you'll be getting married (see Mutley's comments above).
However, if he has not asked and all you have done is talk about marriage, then I think it is too soon to be looking at dresses.
In answer to your question, I did not buy a dress before I got engaged. I did look at some magazines and thought to myself "oh that'll look nice" but I never went to a store to try on dresses until after I got engaged.
Ditto everyone. Even if you were "officially" (ack) engaged yet, it's WAY too early to buy a dress.
I'm no help. I bought my dress off a clearance rack 6 months before my wedding date and took it home that day. But I WAS engaged. Officially. ;P
[QUOTE]We actually have the date set with the hall and church both booked. 1 co-worked of mine just got married and another one is getting married 4 weeks before me so my BF knows that I am looking. I have been looking at dresses since last year when I was helping my co-worker and I have wanted this dress since then. My main concern is that when it does come time to purchase the dress, it won't be available so I guess that is why I am looking to order it now because I won't be able to get it till December.
Posted by chendrix77[/QUOTE]
You won't be able to get it until December? Because? You do NOT need to HAVE your dress a year before your wedding. You should start LOOKING and trying on dresses a year before your wedding.
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '6a77c05c-5c31-4d51-8b71-5fe00c862fc0', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/10/11/6a77c05c-5c31-4d51-8b71-5fe00c862fc0.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>
[QUOTE]We actually have the date set with the hall and church both booked. 1 co-worked of mine just got married and another one is getting married 4 weeks before me so my BF knows that I am looking. I have been looking at dresses since last year when I was helping my co-worker and I have wanted this dress since then. My main concern is that when it does come time to purchase the dress, it won't be available so I guess that is why <strong>I am looking to order it now because I won't be able to get it till December.</strong>
Posted by chendrix77[/QUOTE]
and you need it 11 months ahead of your wedding because...??
I say it's a bad idea. Once we have a date, I plan on buying 9 months before OR SOONER for fear I will change my mind. If I bought the type of dress I liked 6 months ago, I'm 99% sure I wouldn't like it now.
That being said, if your wedding isn't until November of 2011, I would hold off for many reasons.
1) You're not engaged yet, and you're not looking at a short engagement, so there's no reason. The hard truth also is that he is looking at rings, but may not end up buying one, let alone giving it to you for many months. You don't want to ruin one of the best parts of planning a wedding by doing it way before you're engaged.
2) That far out, you have plenty of time to look at dresses. Doing so early on you're more likely to experience regret or end up with two dresses because you find someone else you like better.
I would definitely urge you to wait. If you're worried they may discontinue the dress, communicate with your BF about how you're feeling and if you absolutely MUST, call the store to see if there's a chance they would discontinue the dress (it has been known to happen, though it's highly unlikely). In the unlikely event they say they are going to discontinue it after X date, wait til that date gets closer, and if you're still not engaged talk to your BF again and see if he's ok with you trying it on etc. The other regs on here probably won't agree with me here, but if it's your dream dress and your BF is OK with you looking at it before he proposes (that's important: DO NOT DO ANY OF THIS BEHIND YOUR BF'S BACK), then I personally don't see a huge problem with it.
Ordinarily though, I would avoid dress shopping completely until you're 1) engaged, and 2) within a year of your date, as your taste and styles may change. Not to mention that once you plan the rest of your wedding, the style dress you've chosen may no longer fit with the formality of your event.
Married Bio
Me: 31 DH: 30
TTC since 10/2010. 2012: HSG showed unicornuate uterus on right side; both kidneys and both ovaries present. High risk for preterm labor, IUGR, and C-Section. Dx'd Hypothyroidism.
1st BFP: 10/27/12, cycle before we had planned to see RE
Pregnancy Blog
I see that you have your venue booked, colors, invitations, where your cake topper and flowers are coming from. You have a lot of time here honey.
Interesting way to choose a wedding date. "We chose 11.11.11 because I always make a wish at 11:11"
[QUOTE]Wow..... I have just discovered that you have an awful lot planned/ decided without being engaged yet. You have so much time. Why are you trying to take away from things that you typically do once you are engaged? I see that you have your venue booked, colors, invitations, where your cake topper and flowers are coming from. You have a lot of time here honey. Interesting way to choose a wedding date. <strong>"We chose 11.11.11 because I always make a wish at 11:11"</strong>
Posted by loopy82[/QUOTE]
How old are you, OP?
[QUOTE] "We chose 11.11.11 because I always make a wish at 11:11"
Posted by loopy82[/QUOTE]
Ok I tried to be honest and nice, but I'm starting to have the same questions as the rest of the PPs. In particular, your age.
Also, having gone to look at your bio, if the dress you've chosen for your bio is the style you like, there is absolutely no reason to get it 1.5 years in advance. That is a VERY popular style dress, and I'm sure it will still be around when you are actually engaged and need to purchase a dress. Even if that particular dress gets discontinued, that STYLE of dress will always be around, so you should have no problem finding one that you like. :-)
Married Bio
Me: 31 DH: 30
TTC since 10/2010. 2012: HSG showed unicornuate uterus on right side; both kidneys and both ovaries present. High risk for preterm labor, IUGR, and C-Section. Dx'd Hypothyroidism.
1st BFP: 10/27/12, cycle before we had planned to see RE
Pregnancy Blog
[QUOTE]That would be too cool to get married on an ice rink!! I would be too afraid of tripping or slipping on the ice. LOL.
Posted by chendrix77[/QUOTE]
An ice rink wedding!!! They aren't even coming up with original BSC ideas anymore!
Thanks guys, I do appreciate all the input.
In response to **Mutley**, I am not stupid for choosing a trendy date. My BF and I did not choose that date to be trendy, but we chose it because it had special meaning to us and yes I have the hall and church booked so I can say that it is my date.
KD- HAHA! That made my day.
[QUOTE]Thanks guys, I do appreciate all the input. In response to **Mutley**, I am not stupid for choosing a trendy date. My BF and I did not choose that date to be trendy, but we chose it because it had special meaning to us and yes I have the hall and church booked so I can say that it is my date.
Posted by chendrix77[/QUOTE]
IMO, it is a stupid date. We can agree to disagree. I am enthused that we do not have the same opinions.
And KD, that is priceless. Seriously <a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '186d07c3-15e2-429b-9e91-1434b1e8a956', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/8/14/186d07c3-15e2-429b-9e91-1434b1e8a956.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '186d07c3-15e2-429b-9e91-1434b1e8a956', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> </a>
I don't understand why most of you are picking me apart in regards to my age, why I have certain things planned already and a comment I made on another board. I just asked a question and simple yes or no would have helped. Everyone does things differently.
You never answered the question as to how old you are.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 11-11-11 Ideas : An ice rink wedding!!! They aren't even coming up with original BSC ideas anymore!
Posted by KD+BC[/QUOTE]
An ice rink wedding! That's awesome (I used to figure skate competitively). But I bet even Kristi Yamaguchi didn't do that, and she married a hockey player.
Plus, other than the Snoopy ice rink in Santa Rosa, most of them look like warehouses.
I haz a planning bio
"So I just bought my invintations tonight and I'm very excited about them. They are the ones where you print them yourselves. Has anyone done these before and any advice you can give me? I'm nervous I'm gonna screw them up. LOL. "
You bought your invitations....?? and you don't consider yourself engaged????
I'm going on and on and on...point of my story: just wait. You have plenty of time, and the womens that answered your question have mostly already been in your position already and know what thy're talking about
[QUOTE]OP - how old are you? "So I just bought my invintations tonight and I'm very excited about them. They are the ones where you print them yourselves. Has anyone done these before and any advice you can give me? I'm nervous I'm gonna screw them up. LOL. " You bought your invitations....?? and you don't consider yourself engaged????
Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]
Yowza.
And don't post on an international board and expect to hear everything you want to.