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Wedding Etiquette Forum
ggmae
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So, I'm a bit jealous
I'm 23 years old and I'm jealous of my 16-year-old brother. There I said it. Why am I jealous? My parents just bought him a brand spankin' new, 2010 Mazda 6. Black on black - he picks it up Tuesday and he is getting his license in 3 weeks. Personally, I'd never buy my 16-year-old a brand new car, but my parents thought differently! I'm happy for him, but I am a bit envious at the same time.
I know there have been posts in the past about how children are treated differently by their parents, and this is definitely the case in my family. My mom said she treats my youngest brother much differently because she has felt bad for him over the years - I went to Australia, got engaged, graduated college, and got married. My other brother has been in the Army, and gets a lot of attention because of that, and he just got married. My mom feels like my youngest brother is overshadowed a lot, so she says she doesn't feel guilty giving him more things than we got. Plus, he is the only kid still living at home, so it's almost as if he is an only child.
Has anyone else ever been jealous of their siblings (or anyone) for one reason or another? What for? Were you treated differently than your siblings were?
EDIT - I hope that I didn't come across as an ungrateful biitch in this post. I am very thankful for all that my parents have given me.
I know there have been posts in the past about how children are treated differently by their parents, and this is definitely the case in my family. My mom said she treats my youngest brother much differently because she has felt bad for him over the years - I went to Australia, got engaged, graduated college, and got married. My other brother has been in the Army, and gets a lot of attention because of that, and he just got married. My mom feels like my youngest brother is overshadowed a lot, so she says she doesn't feel guilty giving him more things than we got. Plus, he is the only kid still living at home, so it's almost as if he is an only child.
Has anyone else ever been jealous of their siblings (or anyone) for one reason or another? What for? Were you treated differently than your siblings were?
EDIT - I hope that I didn't come across as an ungrateful biitch in this post. I am very thankful for all that my parents have given me.
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Re: So, I'm a bit jealous
I have no siblings so I can't comment to that, but I wanted to let you know I didn't htink you were an ungrateful biitch
But, I think a car (especially a Mazda 6) is way different than the stuff that either you or your brother has done. Maybe they should just pay for college or something.
I'd be pretty bummed if my sister got a brand-new car. Despite the fact that my parents have been great and generous to me all my life--they've never gotten me a brand-new car. *stomps feet*
I've always been jealous that my parents (dad especially with my two half brothers) love my brothers seemingly no matter what crazy crap they pull but I seem to always be loved because I made the good grades and never got into trouble.
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However, I've been jealous of T's sister. She had a baby at 21 while living rent and bill free with her mom, then her mom got her, her own apartment bill free. Then she meets her well of bf, moves in with him, he buys her a brand new car and takes care of everything. She has never had a real job or full bills and responsibility.
[QUOTE]But, I think a car (especially a Mazda 6) is way different than the stuff that either you or your brother has done. Maybe they should just pay for college or something.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]
My middle brother and I got cars when we were 16 too, but they were older and really used. Still though - I am thankful to have been given a car because I know that a lot of kids don't get that. And about college - he is planning to join the Army this summer and then leave next year for basic training, so there is no college in his near future. That could be another reason why my parents are doing this. Hmm..
FI's family is the exact opposite. His brother is heavily favored and can do no wrong, and FI gets the short end of the stick. And now that they're both married/engaged it extends to us, too--FMIL obviously prefers FSIL to me because she's married to the favored brother. She made sure FSIL got a shower from his side of the family when they were engaged and hasn't made a peep about anything for me. It drives me nuts and I want to call them on it so, so bad.
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[QUOTE]I'm sorry :( I've never been jealous of my brother instead I think he has been jealous of me (baby, got to go on family vacations after he moved out...) However, I've been jealous of T's sister. She had a baby at 21 while living rent and bill free with her mom, then her mom got her, her own apartment bill free. Then she meets her well of bf, moves in with him, he buys her a brand new car and takes care of everything. She has never had a real job or full bills and responsibility.
Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]
Roxy, I can see being jealous of that, but keep in mind how much more self sufficient (I assume, at least) and mature you are. I don't think her lifestyle is really something to envy, you know? She's never going to learn how to be an adult.
[QUOTE]I've always been jealous that my parents (dad especially with my two half brothers) love my brothers seemingly no matter what crazy crap they pull but I seem to always be loved because I made the good grades and never got into trouble.
Posted by julezlee[/QUOTE]
I agree 100%! Same thing in my family.
I would be jealous too..but I bet your brother's brand new car won't last very long...I hope I am wrong, but I bet he gets into an accident within 1 year. (i work for an insurance company in the claims area..so I see it every day)
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My step sister on teh other hand: 5 kids, 3 dads, 3 marriages, no jobs, foreclosed house, and a brand new mustang. How does that work?
[QUOTE]...She made sure FSIL got a shower from his side of the family when they were engaged and hasn't made a peep about anything for me. It drives me nuts and I want to call them on it so, so bad.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]
That would really upset me as well. That's blatant favoritism right there. Grr. Maybe she is waiting to ask you about it - you are getting married in May, right? There's still time.
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So, I'm a bit jealous : Roxy, I can see being jealous of that, but keep in mind how much more self sufficient (I assume, at least) and mature you are. I don't think her lifestyle is really something to envy, you know? She's never going to learn how to be an adult.
Posted by JK10910[/QUOTE]
Exactly. I just have to remind myself that. Everything I have I've earned (chanelling a little destinys child..). I just wouldn't mind the worry free ness
[QUOTE]I would be jealous too..but I bet your brother's brand new car won't last very long...I hope I am wrong, but I bet he gets into an accident within 1 year. (i work for an insurance company in the claims area..so I see it every day)
Posted by aallenba[/QUOTE]
My mom said to me yesterday that she is wondering how much the insurance on it will cost her. Bet it's a lot!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So, I'm a bit jealous : That would really upset me as well. That's blatant favoritism right there. Grr. Maybe she is waiting to ask you about it - you are getting married in May, right? There's still time.
Posted by ggmae[/QUOTE]
Yeah, it's not about the gifts, I just feel like nobody in his family gives a crap about our wedding or getting to know me. But the minute FBIL sneezes, we get a phone call about how it was the best sneeze ever, you know? FI has some serious confidence and self-esteem issues from growing up in his brother's shadow and his parents just don't get it.
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
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[QUOTE]Roxybabe, I lived rent/bill free with my parents for 3 months after I had my son, but once I went back to work, I moved out on my own. I don't know what the case is with FI's sister, but the 3 months I was bill free was because my son was diagnosed with failure to thrive and with all of the health and medical issues we were both having, my mom couldn't see charging us rent at that point. But it was a short lived period and I have been on my own since that point, no help from anyone, working lots. My step sister on teh other hand: 5 kids, 3 dads, 3 marriages, no jobs, foreclosed house, and a brand new mustang. How does that work?
Posted by terbear_86[/QUOTE]
Thats more understandable. She just had a year of living with (or being supported) by mom just because.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: So, I'm a bit jealous : Yeah, it's not about the gifts, I just feel like nobody in his family gives a crap about our wedding or getting to know me. But the minute FBIL sneezes, we get a phone call about how it was the best sneeze ever, you know? FI has some serious confidence and self-esteem issues from growing up in his brother's shadow and his parents just don't get it.
Posted by Brie2010[/QUOTE]
I would probably have issues if I were your FI too. I think this is how my middle brother felt toward me growing up, but now we are better.
Oh well. Given FMIL's horrible Christmas gift, I don't know if I'd want to attend any gift-giving occasions with her anyway!
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
Brie Fit Blog | BFP Chart
If kid can buy and afford their own new car at that age, great, knock yerself out. But if it's on my dime, ya get what I give and decide your responsible for.
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My parents always did their best to treat me and my brother the same. Bro spent 5.5 years in college, and some summers, and I did it in 4, so it was evened out in other ways. They gave us both $ for our weddings, but since we got married 12 years apart, they factored in inflation.
My half brother, however, is a loser and at one point asked my parents for the cash that they would have spent on him on college. Um, no.
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I love them both, and things are better, but that REALLY pissed me off.
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