FFF

jaycee7389 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:14c84de5-a748-4cb2-a9a9-807a18190b0d">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I hear what you're saying, and you are entitled to your opinions, but this viewpoint just seems so extreme. To imply, and I know Elle said she felt the same way, that a person is not ready to parent because they don't want to breastfeed is crazy to me. It sounds as outdated as saying that if a woman isn't going to stay home, she shouldn't be a mom. Times have changed. There may be many reasons that a woman chooses not to breastfeed, and I just stand by the idea that it's their choice. It's just hard for me to see the choice to breastfeed or not to rise to the level of that person isn't ready to be a parent. It also implies someday, I will change my mind about breastfeeding, and only then might I be ready to be a parent.
Posted by polo1425[/QUOTE]

But there is no documented benefit to a woman being a SAHM, and that decision also requires A LOT of decision making (finances, quitting a job, etc). BFing your child is the healthiest option, is documented as being the best option, and does not require someone to quit their job or rework their finances. The same goes to the vegan argument, that would require completely reworking your entire budget, meal planning, etc.

I do see where my argument can get tricky with the whole pumping issue. I feel that in this case though, supplemental feedings with formula if it truly is not possible would be better than strict formula.

IDK, I do see why this is such a heated topic, and I do understand why you feel I'm being extreme. I just can't shake my opinion about this issue. If someone told you there was a pill you could give your child to prevent disease, infection, and give them the best chance at life..would you not do it? I just feel like BFing is not asking THAT much of a woman.

^oh, and I guess they do have something like that...called vaccinations, and people still don't want them. haha

lunarsongbird · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:6cc411fe-fabc-44af-b4dd-218788ffed94">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : But there is no documented benefit to a woman being a SAHMPosted by jaycee7389[/QUOTE]

Oh- I'm sure that there are studies describing the pros and cons of both- <a href="http://www.mesacc.edu/dept/d46/psy/dev/Spring02/infancy/homevswork.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.mesacc.edu/dept/d46/psy/dev/Spring02/infancy/homevswork.html</a>

prbright · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:7d626c1c-503e-4265-9832-bf447725e992">FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Because I need an outlet. I flame PRBright, for asking if Chernobyl was a real place. When ahstillwell said she wanted to go there on her honeymoon, she said "Make sure you take a video camera so when you die a gruesome death we can send it to Hollywood! Money in the bank." First of all, how do you not know Chernobyl is real? Second of all, are you serious? We all know that ahstillwell works in cancer research, and sees real people die from cancer all the time. ~ Credit to Yaga, from the Grave. I flame LoveBug for DDing a KUI thread. Because WTF?
Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>First of all, I'm sorry I didn't know that Chernobyl was a real place and for my misspelling of it. And secondly, no I did not know that ahstillwell worked in cancer reasearch and it was a joke. My grandma died from breast cancer and my mom has it right now, I've watched both of them struggle with cancer and I know how painful and hard it is to watch and deal with. I would never make a joke to be cruel or mean. I was simply refering to the preview of the girl being attacked by ghosts, I was not in the slightest referring to radiation or cancer.</div><div>
</div><div>Just wanted to clear that up.</div>

mymissingpuzzlepiece · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:808b9ca3-d160-4b19-ab9a-88790e9f258b">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : A woman doesn't need to have a "good" reason to not breastfeed. They either breastfeed or they don't, end of story. I can understand if the mom is taking medicine for lets say, Lymes disease, and she doesn't want the medicine to be transferred to the baby. OR say she takes medicine for chronic migraines. EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING you eat/drink gets broken down and transferred to the baby. <strong>I am an advocate for breast feeding through and through BUT I also will tell someone that the formulas these days are just as good as breast milk.</strong> I've breastfed and I've formula fed and I will do the same for any future children I have.
Posted by LoveBug82510[/QUOTE]

<div>Really you would? Formula isn't just as good as breast milk. Formula doesn't have the mother's antibodies in it that can help lower infections and prevent certain diseases, it doesn't have the same exact components as breast milk that are perfect for a baby to digest (it is proven that this can't be replicated in factories) and many other reasons. And breast milk is meant for babies... formula is made to replicate breast milk but it isn't exactly the same. So why would you buy formula when you can give your baby the real thing?</div>

desertsun · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:107d807c-5d30-4db7-87de-53fb0d70542f">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Lovebug - I feel like you need to take a step back. You are way over-reacting to some of these posts.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

Word to your mother.

ETA: I flame LoveBug for being a drama queen/AW/trying too hard in general. I am truly sorry for your recent loss, but that doesn't stop me from finding you annoying.

See? It's not that hard to grow some ladyballs and just call 'em like you see 'em.

kaitlynmichelle · May 2012

The breastfeeding debate was really interesting to read over. I plan to do it if I am able to, but that's a long ways away. I do agree with the point of 4-5 year olds still breastfeeding as being really weird. Game of Thrones, anyone?

LoveBug, I agree with Beth. You need to chill out. Your responses were extremely dramatic.

TheMutleys · May 2012

I don't have the time to quote anyone because I am fairly busy with my thriving breastfed child who is going through a growth spurt and wants to nurse almost every hour for 20 mins at a time. Maybe that is why he is not even 8 weeks old and in 6-month clothing.

Short version: I agree with Elle. I do not understand why a woman who is capable of breastfeeding would chose to not breastfeed. I do *silently* judge a woman who does not at least TRY to breastfeed when there are no medical reasons preventing her.

Is it hard? Hells yes. Can it be draining physically and emotionally? Definitely. That is what parenting is. You sacrifice for your children in different ways.

Can breastfeeding not be the best choice for a family? Certainly. However, I don't see how that choice can be made when one is only making it hypothetically without actually trying.

At the end of the day, formula is a good alternative to breastmilk BUT breastmilk is better. To say otherwise is based on opinion, not fact. Personally, I don't understand why any parent would not TRY to do what is best for their child in every way possible, including breastfeeding.

And Polo, who the eff cares what I think of your POV? I flame you for making your ridiculous comment about how I wouldn't be thrilled with your comments.

(Also in terms of desexualizing breasts by breastfeeding, does that mean that if you give birth vaginally that your vagina can no longer be used for sex as well?

)

prbright · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:23aad7aa-830b-400c-894c-5583fb7898f5">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm way late to this, but: I strongly disagree with Elle and Jaycee that if you aren't prepared to breastfeed, you're not ready to parent. I agree with Coco and think she worded her statement eloquently and appreciate her comments on the subject. I don't watch the news regularly or go on news sites daily. Mo does, and I ask him to notify me if there's anything I should really know about. In struggling with depression, yes, sometimes the news really IS too sad for me. I don't feel badly about this.
Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>I agree with Liv. I admit, I probably don't watch the news as much as I should, I probably am not nearly as informed as I should be. (ETA: The breastfeeding conversation. I know nothing about breastfeeding because I am not planning on having children for a while, when I do have children I will definitely do my research) Do some people consider it ignorant? Probably. But I will be the first to admit if I am not nearly as informed on the subject and I will not argue about something that I am not informed about. </div><div>
</div><div>There are a lot of common sense things that I know that other people don't. Do I think they should probably know those things? Yeah, probably. Will I call them ignorant and make fun of them for not knowing them and say well it's common sense? No. </div><div>
</div><div>

</div>

LoveBug82510 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:b5cdaf3c-734f-4cc6-99b6-a85d21901874">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Word to your mother. ETA: I flame LoveBug for being a drama queen/AW/trying too hard in general. I am truly sorry for your recent loss, but that doesn't stop me from finding you annoying. See? It's not that hard to grow some ladyballs and just call 'em like you see 'em.
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

Well I will grow some 31 year old balls and say that a lot of the girls on here have been extremely RUDE and nasty to not only myself but as well as other new posters. I have been to other boards on TK and they are a lot nicer than this board, however they are for those who are engaged. I figured I'd be apart of this board until a ring is on my finger, and I plan to stick around to get to know you all. However, the nastiness and "I'm better than you because I've been on here longer" is really bothersome. We are NOT in HS so stop acting like it. Seriously. I'm 31 and graduated well over 13 years ago. I left the HS bs in HS. I suggest some of you do the same.

melmac86 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:114e12a1-19b9-49b4-80d0-6e547718e720">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]I applaud Coco, Allusive, and Beth for standing up for what you think is right. I'm really glad that all of you are still here and active, even if a bit less active than you've been in the past. I think there is a difference between having an intelligent discussion about a difference in world views and attacking someone on a personal level b/c they choose to not be as informed as others on current events. I personally do not watch the news or visit news sites on a daily basis.
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

I realize you weren't addressing me directly, but I wanted to say thanks to you and above mentioned (and Liv) for this. I just don't like the news. I still listen to the radio and hear about big events that are happening, but it doesn't make me ignorant or less of a person, because I don't sit down for my dose of daily events. I was also flamed for "using" my sponsored child to make me seem less "ignorant" when all I did was answer someone's question on how I knew about Lesotho.

I just wish that things could've remained much more calm than they had gotten. I have never participated in FFF before for fear of something ridiculous like this happening and also, because I don't feel right about myself for bringing someone down, attacking them, calling them out - however you want to word it. I will never understand the logic behind using the internet as a crutch to attack someone; it's just not my style. If you can honestly say that you would talk the same exact way in a room full of strangers OR friends, then I guess that's on you, but I can guarantee it wouldn't be received well. I don't see the point in creating drama from nothing.

Swazzle · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:f7f68c76-8aee-475b-9e4b-98ebdf2f4313">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Well I will grow some 31 year old balls and say that a lot of the girls on here have been extremely RUDE and nasty to not only myself but as well as other new posters. I have been to other boards on TK and they are a lot nicer than this board, however they are for those who are engaged. I figured I'd be apart of this board until a ring is on my finger, and I plan to stick around to get to know you all. However, the nastiness and <strong>"I'm better than you because I've been on here longer"</strong> is really bothersome. We are NOT in HS so stop acting like it. Seriously. I'm 31 and graduated well over 13 years ago. I left the HS bs in HS. I suggest some of you do the same.
Posted by LoveBug82510[/QUOTE]

<div>I am 100% sure that nobody said this. Ever. Or even implied it. </div><div>
</div><div>When someone is new, as we have told you MANY times before, it's best to lurk. Then, participate in OTHER PEOPLE'S threads so we can start to get to know you. Instead of doing this, you decided to start your own threads 29 times a day. And then you wonder why people think you're an AW/PW/trying entirely too hard. </div><div>
</div><div>If you don't like the dynamics of the board, perhaps WeddingBee would be a better fit for you. </div>

TheMutleys · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:f7f68c76-8aee-475b-9e4b-98ebdf2f4313">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Well I will grow some 31 year old balls and say that a lot of the girls on here have been extremely RUDE and nasty to not only myself but as well as other new posters. I have been to other boards on TK and they are a lot nicer than this board, however they are for those who are engaged. <strong> I figured I'd be apart of this board until a ring is on my finger,</strong> and I plan to stick around to get to know you all. However, the nastiness and "I'm better than you because I've been on here longer" is really bothersome. We are NOT in HS so stop acting like it. <strong>Seriously. I'm 31</strong> and graduated well over 13 years ago. I left the HS bs in HS. I suggest some of you do the same.
Posted by LoveBug82510[/QUOTE]

Seriously, I cannot believe that you are 31.

So once you have a ring, you will be gone? In that case, I don't see why you would want to get to know anyone and vice versa.

Insert response that always gets repeated about how the board is what it is. You can take it or leave it. <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/2/6137f7d6-ec19-4fda-828f-18b34284757d.large.gif" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/1/2/6137f7d6-ec19-4fda-828f-18b34284757d.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>
<a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckForumPage=ForumImage&plckPhotoId=6137f7d6-ec19-4fda-828f-18b34284757d&plckRedirectUrl=http%3a%2f%2fforums.theknot.com%2fSites%2ftheknot%2fPages%2fMain.aspx%2fspecial-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1" title="Click to view a larger photo"> </a>

LoveBug82510 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:db8744e0-36fb-4fc4-91e8-0caee13362ae">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Really you would? Formula isn't just as good as breast milk. Formula doesn't have the mother's antibodies in it that can help lower infections and prevent certain diseases, it doesn't have the same exact components as breast milk that are perfect for a baby to digest (it is proven that this can't be replicated in factories) and many other reasons. And breast milk is meant for babies... formula is made to replicate breast milk but it isn't exactly the same. So why would you buy formula when you can give your baby the real thing?
Posted by mymissingpuzzlepiece[/QUOTE]

Yes, Puzzle, I would. I breast fed for 6 months and had to formula feed for 6 months because my milk supply diminished. Formula IS just as good as breast milk...yea, it doesn't give antiboties etc, but I do not see ANY harm in giving formula to a baby. My son is well developed and gained the weight necessary when he was on both breast milk and formula. He was a chunky 8lbs 13oz at birth and by 1 year old he was a good healthy 28lbs.

With my next child I will breast feed as long as I can, so long as my milk supply doesn't diminish like it did when I was breastfeeding my son. If it does, then I will also formula feed because I do not see the harm in it. Especially if I give him/her 6 months of my breast milk.

lavenderfields13 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:81374c11-95c5-4735-a368-be437b063ebf">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE] (Also in terms of desexualizing breasts by breastfeeding, does that mean that if you give birth vaginally that your vagina can no longer be used for sex as well? )
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

Haha, I never thought about that before.

When I was younger ( because I'm SO old now ) breastfeeding kind of creeped me out and I definitely thought of breasts as being sexual and thought I'd never BF. My thoughts have definitely changed and when I do have kids I plan on at least trying to BF. But I won't judge a woman who doesn't do it. Neither me or my brother were BF so I've always thought that NOT doing it was pretty normal too.
I agree with what Danie said about where do you draw the line? There is no perfect way to do anything when it comes to parenting.

TheMutleys · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:25c59e9f-e870-48c4-800b-c446f1b9a7ef">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Yes, Puzzle, I would. I breast fed for 6 months and had to formula feed for 6 months because my milk supply diminished. <strong>Formula IS just as good as breast milk...yea, it doesn't give antiboties etc, but I do not see ANY harm in giving formula to a baby. </strong>My son is well developed and gained the weight necessary when he was on both breast milk and formula. He was a chunky 8lbs 13oz at birth and by 1 year old he was a good healthy 28lbs. With my next child I will breast feed as long as I can, so long as my milk supply doesn't diminish like it did when I was breastfeeding my son. If it does, then I will also formula feed because I do not see the harm in it. Especially if I give him/her 6 months of my breast milk.
Posted by LoveBug82510[/QUOTE]

It doesn't give antibodies, so it is NOT just as good. No one is saying that formula will harm a child.

Once again, you are not comprehending what several people are saying. FFS.

thejucheidea · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:f7f68c76-8aee-475b-9e4b-98ebdf2f4313">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Well I will grow some 31 year old balls and say that <strong>a lot of the girls on here have been extremely RUDE and nasty</strong> to not only myself but as well as other new posters. <strong>I have been to other boards on TK and they are a lot nicer than this board</strong>, however they are for those who are engaged. I figured I'd be apart of this board until a ring is on my finger, and<strong> I plan to stick around to get to know you all</strong>. However, the nastiness and "I'm better than you because I've been on here longer" is really bothersome. <strong>We are NOT in HS so stop acting like it</strong>. Seriously. I'm 31 and graduated well over 13 years ago. I left the HS bs in HS. I suggest some of you do the same.
Posted by LoveBug82510[/QUOTE]

<a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckForumPage=ForumImage&plckPhotoId=cfde28d7-55f7-425e-ac07-c55c1f0f0ab9&plckRedirectUrl=http%3a%2f%2fforums.theknot.com%2fSites%2ftheknot%2fPages%2fMain.aspx%2fspecial-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1" title="Click to view a larger photo"> <div style="text-align:center;"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/15/12/cfde28d7-55f7-425e-ac07-c55c1f0f0ab9.medium.jpg" alt="" /></div></a>
Why would you hang around if you admittedly don't like us or our attitudes?

thejucheidea · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:0dc667a1-25f3-4218-97f9-6d80335477d7">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : If you can honestly say that you would talk the same exact way in a room full of strangers OR friends, then I guess that's on you, but I can guarantee it wouldn't be received well. I don't see the point in creating drama from nothing.
Posted by melmac86[/QUOTE]
I have conversations like this on the daily with friends. We have differing viewpoints, we share them, we expound on our reasons for having certain viewpoints, we see what sort of middle ground we have, we test each other, we move on. You have an odd definition of drama.

melmac86 · May 2012

Im assuming this is done in a respectful manner without name calling, rash assumptions/accusations, and making someone feel bad about their own viewpoints. I get that this is FFF and this kind of behavior is acceptable here, but I'll just never understand why. At this point, I'm gonna go ahead and drop it. It's obvious that this issue could be talked about til we're all blue in the face and nobody's opinions are going to change anyway.

thejucheidea · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:3ceb2e35-90ff-4640-a65c-6be69d5a0430">Re:FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]Im assuming this is done in a respectful manner without name calling, rash assumptions/accusations, and making someone feel bad about their own viewpoints.
Posted by melmac86[/QUOTE]
I don't act any differently on the Internet than I do in real life because that's pointless. The way I say things here is how I would say them if I were face to face with you.

GoldenPenguin · May 2012

In Response to Re:FFF:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:FFF:Im assuming this is done in a respectful manner without name calling, rash assumptions/accusations, and making someone feel bad about their own viewpoints. Posted by melmac86I don't act any differently on the Internet than I do in real life because that's pointless. The way I say things here is how I would say them if I were face to face with you. Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

Same. And I think most everyone else here would agree say the same about themselves.

beanbot2002 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:81374c11-95c5-4735-a368-be437b063ebf">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE] (Also in terms of desexualizing breasts by breastfeeding, does that mean that if you give birth vaginally that your vagina can no longer be used for sex as well? )
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

<div>Preach.</div>

mymissingpuzzlepiece · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:b31da701-ae94-4dd3-a5b7-6891e23f64bf">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : It doesn't give antibodies, so it is NOT just as good. No one is saying that formula will harm a child. Once again, you are not comprehending what several people are saying. FFS.
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

<div>Well said.</div>

jorja86 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:86c958cf-1a3a-4963-8acd-0b3d73205064">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I obviously heard about the tsunami, but didn't watch enough coverage or read about it to hear anything about Chernobyl. <strong>I HATE the news. It's depressing and makes me sad, and honestly I find it pointless for myself to feel horrible when there's nothing that I'm going to be able to do about it anyway.</strong> That probably comes across as naive and heartless, but I guess I just feel I'd rather focus my energy in areas where I can make a difference, like sponsoring a child in Lesotho and donating to homeless shelters/animal shelters, for example.
Posted by melmac86[/QUOTE]

<div>Please don't vote.</div>

jorja86 · May 2012

I haven't finished reading yet, but because I know you are all DYING to hear my opinions, here they are:

I think being uniformed about the world around you is inexcuseable. Also, if you didn’t learn about Chernobyl in HS, there’s something wrong with your world history teacher.

I don’t think that doing something good in the world is any less good because you heard about it through your church. In fact, I find it a little bit insulting that being involved in your church and causes that it might be involved with is generalized as “God told me to do it”. Who GAF if that’s why people do good things, anyway? As long as it improves the world (in whatever small way), it’s great in my eyes. I think it was pretty shitty of you, Lennon, to discount what Melmac is doing, just because it’s not up your alley.

Also, I know a LOT of people who know a lot more about the world in general, and are better citizens because of activities through their church. Bashing religion in general makes you sound every bit as uniformed as close minded as someone who thinks you have to be religious to be a good person.

I think saying if you’re not prepared to breastfeed you shouldn’t be a parent is totally ridiculous. I think it’s sad to judge another woman’s choice when it comes to this, and a lot of other topics in pregnancy/parenting, as a matter of fact. Is breast-feeding better for baby? Absolutely. Am I going to try my absolute best to do that when I have children? Yes. I do think it’s kind of sh!tty not to breastfeed just because you don’t want to lose your figure, but breast feeding makes some women genuinely uncomfortable (both emotionally and physically). Say breast-feeding genuinely icks someone out…you think they should suffer through it, and likely damage the bonding they have with the baby? Not to mention the countless women who technically CAN, but have huge issues with latching, etc, which makes it incredibly physically painful. I hate knowing that some of these women feel judged and feel like bad mothers.

I also think that most of us really can’t know what it’s like to make these decisions, because we’re not mothers. It’s easy to say you’re ABSOLTELY doing something now, but things are different in real life. Polo-I think saying you don’t even want the option discussed with you is ridiculous and unrealistic. You likely will be (as you should) educated on the benefits of breastfeeding. I agree you should not be pressured in one way or another, but I think you should at least be willing to have the options explained to you by an expert.

ETA: Also, I really like you, Danie. You are one smart, well-spoken chick. If I ever get arrested, will you be my lawyer?

As for the stuff that happens off this board (which, I think was totally inappropraite to bring up here). I agree that things have gotten excessive a time or two. When that happened, myself, as well as others, spoke up and said that they weren't comfortable with that. If you were there reading, why didn't you do the same?

LoveBug: don't like it here? Leave. It's not a complicated concept. Don't stick around and expect us to care what happens in your life if all you're going to do is complain about how much we all suck.

desertsun · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:f7f68c76-8aee-475b-9e4b-98ebdf2f4313">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Well I will grow some 31 year old balls and say that a lot of the girls on here have been extremely RUDE and nasty to not only myself but as well as other new posters. I have been to other boards on TK and they are a lot nicer than this board, however they are for those who are engaged. I figured I'd be apart of this board until a ring is on my finger, and I plan to stick around to get to know you all. However, the nastiness and "I'm better than you because I've been on here longer" is really bothersome. We are NOT in HS so stop acting like it. Seriously. I'm 31 and graduated well over 13 years ago. I left the HS bs in HS. I suggest some of you do the same.
Posted by LoveBug82510[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>My comment about growing some balls wasn't an invitation for you to throw a temper tantrum that everyone didn't immediately fall over themselves to be nice to you. It was meant as response to you jumping on Coco's bandwagon. She had intelligent things to say, in a respectful and thoughtful way. Your above post, again, just comes across as a temper tantrum. You're taking shiit personally and getting all butthurt; Coco and others are commenting on the board dynamic in general.

<div>That said, I do think some people have been overly not nice to you without having anything constructive to say, but then, some others have repeatedly asked for you to slow your roll and learn the etiquette of THIS particular board if you really want to be A space PART of it instead of "apart" from it. </div><div>
</div><div>Being condescending and AWy are generally not the best way to earn friends on NEY.</div><div>
</div><div>It's not about HS or BS. It's about learning some emotional intelligence.</div><div>
</div><div>Whenever you enter a new group, the intelligent thing to do is sit back a bit and kinda learn the dynamic and then work out your place within that dynamic. Not come in, guns a-blazin' and assume everyone wants to know all about you. It takes TIME for people to get to know you and care about your life. And again, just talking about yourself is NOT the same as getting to know people. You have to be interested in others for them to be interested in you.</div></div><div>
</div><div>I hope that clears some things up for you.</div><div>
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bethsmiles · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:c734be8c-9b94-4fbc-aff4-8d089630cd01">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE] As for the stuff that happens off this board (which, I think was totally inappropraite to bring up here). I agree that things have gotten excessive a time or two. When that happened, myself, as well as others, spoke up and said that they weren't comfortable with that. If you were there reading, why didn't you do the same?
Posted by jorja86[/QUOTE]

Are you referring to Coco's post because I don't think it was inappropriate at all.

desertsun · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:0dc667a1-25f3-4218-97f9-6d80335477d7">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : I realize you weren't addressing me directly, but I wanted to say thanks to you and above mentioned (and Liv) for this. I just don't like the news. I still listen to the radio and hear about big events that are happening, but it doesn't make me ignorant or less of a person, because I don't sit down for my dose of daily events. I was also flamed for "using" my sponsored child to make me seem less "ignorant" when all I did was answer someone's question on how I knew about Lesotho. I just wish that things could've remained much more calm than they had gotten. I have never participated in FFF before for fear of something ridiculous like this happening and also, because I don't feel right about myself for bringing someone down, attacking them, calling them out - however you want to word it. I will never understand the logic behind using the internet as a crutch to attack someone; it's just not my style. If you can honestly say that you would talk the same exact way in a room full of strangers OR friends, then I guess that's on you, but I can guarantee it wouldn't be received well. I don't see the point in creating drama from nothing.
Posted by melmac86[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I think you DO have a responsibilty to try and be educated about the world we live in. It's good to be curious. I personally spend a lot of time on Wikipedia -- some people might poo-poo Wikipedia, but I think that in recent years it's become a really accessible resource for succinct summaries of pretty much any significant event, person, or thing. </div><div>
</div><div>I do NOT think that means you always have to know what other people are talking about. I personally find it more appealing for someone to just be honest and admit when they don't know something AND express a desire to learn about it, than for people to be just willfully ignorant. </div><div>
</div><div>I prefer to just speak my mind in general. I am more or less nice about it in person AND on the internet depending on the circumstances and my mood. I do think some people are more bold from behind a computer, but I also think there is a benefit in that if you can learn something or see something from a different perspective as a result. An open mind is way more useful than just dismissing it when you don't like what other people say as them "hiding" behind the internet.</div><div>
</div><div>I still think Coco's points are applicable and pertinent to the board dynamic lately however.</div><div>
</div><div>Ha. See, there's a reason I earned the nickname "The Fulcrum." I'm all about bringing balance to the Force. ;)</div><div>
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desertsun · May 2012

Also, I really appreciate what Jorja and Danie both brought to this thread. Glad you both weighed in here, too. Smart ladies.

jorja86 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:e6f0d410-e826-40d5-b504-27c7624c1bdd">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Are you referring to Coco's post because I don't think it was inappropriate at all.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]<div>
<div><div>
</div><div>Yes, I am. Particularly this part:
</div></div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>[QUOTE]secondly, talking about FFF and other posters in a private chat and coming up with ways to humiliate them and make up comebacks for them is just wrong. it goes on all the time, and it's WRONG. saying you want to c**tpunch someone for having an opinion you don't agree with? talking about other posters you don't like and coming up with ways to antagonize them on the boards? seriously? it's just a bunch of gossip and validation going on between certain posters.
Posted by CocoBellaF[/QUOTE]
</div></div><div>
</div><div>Obviously, if you were around to hear this stuff, there is a more appropriate forum available to you in which to address it . I think there is a huge potential for hurt feelings when you bring things that happened in a private, "selective" group in front of an audience where not everyone is involved. </div>

bethsmiles · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fff-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2d679815-dbeb-4b88-a135-ed30ca9ef398Post:8f7a12f4-a115-4500-a089-203300daf23e">Re: FFF</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FFF : Yes, I am. Particularly this part: Obviously, if you were around to hear this stuff, there is a more appropriate forum available to you in which to address it . I think there is a huge potential for hurt feelings when you bring things that happened in a private, "selective" group in front of an audience where not everyone is involved.
Posted by jorja86[/QUOTE]

Eh...I think people should just be more careful about what they say about others. Honestly, if you don't want it to be repeated or want others to find out about it then it's probably best to not say it at all. And since I believe Coco's post was referring to how off-board conversations were impacting the dynamics of the board I think it is completely appropriate to bring it up. But we will probably to have to agree to disagree on this one :)

FFF

Re: FFF

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