Unpopular Wedding Opinions

laurenclaire1386 · July 2010

Can someone explain to me how Catholic=gap? I'm not being snarky, I really don't get it.

megk8oz · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:24e02e5c-f416-4d6c-a5dd-a05be58e2219">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE] <strong>I hate it when people say "They are grown women, they can dress themselves." False.</strong> There are a ton of people who look like crap on a day to day basis and are even worse when it comes to special occaisions. Not everyone knows how to dress for their body type, especially. Now, I'm not saying you should force people to wear something and tell them they can't dress themselves but the truth remains, shows like "what not to wear" exist for a reason.
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

For the most part I totally agree with this. I mean, when it's because somebody's complaining about letting girls pick their own shoes, I think it's dumb, but when it comes to the actual dress ... I think if a bride just gives guidelines, she still should get veto power if one of her girls picks out some hideous sequined number with shoulder pads, even if it does meet the color and length requirements.

maratea · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:f3ca43f5-8a91-4bc4-a8a3-beef29a27751">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I do hate a cash bar, but like a lot of peopl are saying, that's more of a regional thing. I hate that there's a gap between ceremony and reception for my wedding (prob about an 1-1.5), but I'm Catholic, so what can we do? We're hoping everyone will head back to the hotel to grab the shuttle to the reception. That being said, FI's fam is from Indiana. Now, I'm not saying anything bad about the great people of IN, because they truly are the sweetest people. <strong>However, we went to a wedding out there in June and people brought their own beer to drink on the way to the church, on the way back from the church, and on the way to the reception.</strong> I did judge that and I'm cringing at the thought of drunkies during my vows. Keep the drinking to the party, please.
Posted by npasquale16[/QUOTE]

This may or may not have happened at our wedding. That's just my family. And I also drank in the church before the ceremony. :)

merivale87 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:97ae574d-ad59-42a9-876e-4928f06e4fb8">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think cash bars are a bad thing, I<strong> have personally never seen a open bar in my area. </strong>A lot of people will have a free beer on tap and then liqour is cash and IMO it's completely kosher. <strong>I like the idea of tradtional head table</strong>, i.e. just the bridal party.<strong> I also like matching bridesmaid dresses</strong>.
Posted by tonyscutieest09[/QUOTE]

<div>Agreed. I never thought there was anything wrong with these things until I joined the knot. A couple of times I have had a bit of a panic attack because now I'm worried people will come to my wedding and judge my cash bar, head table and matching BM's, even though every wedding I've ever been to has had all of those things.</div><div>
</div>

goheels05 · July 2010

I'll ditto matching dresses and add that matching shoes don't bother me, either. Every wedding I've been in, I've been told what shoes to buy. All of my friends have been told what shoes to buy. They are usually from PayLess or Shoe Dept (aka cheap). No one minds.

I told my bridesmaids what shoes to buy. Their dresses were cocktail length and their feet were showing. The shoes were from Target and were $15.

And ditto AndyHillary that some people do need to be told what to wear. One of my bridesmaids told me that she was in another wedding and they could wear any shoes, and one of them had on crazy hooker shoes with a clear plastic platform filled with purple sparkles. So yeah, don't tell me grown women can dress themselves.

luckyme502 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:78b3314e-cca8-4691-abfc-2a63742ede76">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Can someone explain to me how Catholic=gap? I'm not being snarky, I really don't get it.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

Usually because of Saturday evening Mass, Catholic wedding ceremonies have to be earlier in the afternoon, which means if you want to serve your guests dinner, there is a gap between when the ceremony is over and when the reception can start.

amylydia23 · July 2010

I am right there with the wedding planning is so hard, it's not. It especially annoys me when it's a bride bitching about planning long distance. There's a lot of girls on the club board I post on that are like "I am planning from 3 hours away and it's just soooo hard." Shut up, I am planning literally across the country and I have had a great time planning. There has been nothing hard about it.

I love matching bridesmaid dresses too.

Buffets drive me crazy but I think it's the catering aspect for me because I used to cater at a country club.

laurenclaire1386 · July 2010

On the "grown women dressing themselves" issue: It's like once the word "wedding" escapes your lips, people forget how to do basic things, like get dressed for an event. My BMs have made it pretty clear that they don't really want to pick out what they're wearing. My MOH requested a color, and that's it. My mom calls me about once a week to help her decide what she's going to wear. It's so out of character for my mom, it's scary. Dude, it's one day. Pick a damn dress. I really don't give a good gosh darn.

goheels05 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:78b3314e-cca8-4691-abfc-2a63742ede76">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Can someone explain to me how Catholic=gap? I'm not being snarky, I really don't get it.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

Most Catholic churches hold a Saturday evening mass, so an evening wedding in the church is not possible. The latest they will allow a wedding is usually like 2PM because Catholic weddings are longish and they will need time to get the sanctuary ready for mass.

So rather than start the wedding reception at 3:30 or 4, some brides choose to start it at a traditional dinner hour, and then you have a gap.

prideeinpynk · July 2010

I don't think you should "upgrade" on your engagement/wedding ring, even down the line. I feel like that's saying, "Oh, well I'm better than this but thanks for trying." My ring is small but it's the ring FI proposed with so I'm planning on keeping it forever. Otherwise I feel like trading up cheapens what the ring stands for.

AdeleDazeem · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:f3ca43f5-8a91-4bc4-a8a3-beef29a27751">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]. Now, I'm not saying anything bad about the great people of IN, because they truly are the sweetest people. However, we went to a wedding out there in June and people brought their own beer to drink on the way to the church, on the way back from the church, and on the way to the reception. I did judge that and I'm cringing at the thought of drunkies during my vows. Keep the drinking to the party, please.
Posted by npasquale16[/QUOTE]

I saw this happen at a wedding in South Jersey and was apalled, mostly because it was my own friends behaving this way. It was an open bar wedding at a winery and they felt the need to pre-party before the ceremony AND the reception. Of course, I think anyone who is past the age of 22 that needs to pre-party is basically pathetic. But that's just me... and I drink a lot.

SarahPLiz · July 2010

I don't like tuxes either, but it appears that opinion is not really unpopular anymore.

I don't mind money dances if they are part of the cutlural traditions of the bride and groom.

I think candy buffets are played out and cheesy.

I think favors are an overrated concept.. for showers, bachelorettes, and weddings. Hosts spend so much time on them and IMHO no one really notices or cares unless its edible.

I don't think a bachelor or bachelorette party qualifies as a gift giving prewedding party, and I don't agree that only wedding guests can be invited. Most b-parties I have heard of or been to have just been friends getting together to drink and dance at a club. I just don't see what is wrong with celebrating with people who
you normally interact with socially.

I like the chicken dance and the Cotton Eyed Joe. I think they are fun!

Knottie1435582995 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:cbeed4b2-82b7-4abc-ba7b-2b9cc91e8eb0">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]NS, I think you're right about the midwest thing. In fact, the last wedding we went to with an open bar, my FI actually commented, "Oh wow. Beer and wine is included." Cash bars are more the norm about here.
Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]

That's funny because I'm in the midwest (MI) and have never seen a cash bar, nor heard of anyone doing it. Actually, in all of my venue shopping, that wasn't even an option where I looked. Weird.

sarahmk5 · July 2010

I'll hop on the dollar dance is OK train. It's a cultural thing where I'm from. I'll actually be wearing the babushka that my mom wore when she did her dollar dance, since, you know, I'll officially be an old woman. It's a family tradition.

MeaghanandMichael · July 2010

I think the Catholic gap excuse thing is crap, and I am Catholic. This is an issue that needs to be resolved in terms of picking the right reception venue that will accomodate your start times, not the fault of the Catholic Church's mass schedule.

I freaking love those really trashy British weddings with the horrid suits and hats. I will look pics from those all day long and I really want to go to one. I respect their 'go big or go home' attitude.

amylydia23 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:b48aee1a-f544-4ea1-8eff-7c707895d5f0">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : I saw this happen at a wedding in South Jersey and was apalled, mostly because it was my own friends behaving this way. It was an open bar wedding at a winery and they felt the need to pre-party before the ceremony AND the reception. Of course, <strong>I think anyone who is past the age of 22 that needs to pre-party is basically pathetic. But that's just me... and I drink a lot.</strong>
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

I completely agree

K Byte · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:c06b7240-6893-4dd9-a7f0-26db12048299">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll hop on the dollar dance is OK train. It's a cultural thing where I'm from. <strong>I'll actually be wearing the babushka that my mom wore when she did her dollar dance, since, you know, I'll officially be an old woman.</strong> It's a family tradition.
Posted by sarahmk5[/QUOTE]
Hehe! That's super cute. :D

megk8oz · July 2010

Oh, and I do think that it's ok for the bride to get a say in what the GMs wear. I'm not saying she gets to pick every last detail of the outfit, but she really should get some say. I say this because DH and his friends are all grown men with jobs ... that can't dress themselves. And it may sound stereotypical, but most of them are dressed by their wives and girlfriends. Or they go out looking like sh!t.

I pick out DH's clothes. Not to be bossy, but because he's colorblind and will be the first person to tell you he has no taste. He just doesn't care what clothes look like, and if he could, he would just conduct everyday business in his underwear. He pretty much told me to pick out what the guys were going to wear for the wedding, so I did. I don't see a problem with it.

His one GM got married through JOP and then they had a reception after the fact where they had attendants. To City Hall, his wife wore a nice blouse and a skirt. He showed up in sweat pants and a t-shirt with a hole in it. To the "real" wedding, she wore a gorgeous gown and her BMs were in pretty dresses ... he wore a sleeveless tunic with a tuxedo vest over it and put his GMs in the same. So yeah, when our wedding rolled around, this guy didn't get a say in anything other than the budget.

MarriedInAFever · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:e5a071e1-7814-4ae6-8105-254d7d7da66b">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : This may or may not have happened at our wedding. That's just my family. And I also drank in the church before the ceremony. :)
Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

I'm definitely planning on having a few pre-game mimosas. 'Cause Indiana girls know how to par-tay.

Also on the grown women dressing front, I think it's fine to make strong suggestions. My colors are light green, ivory, pale pink, etc. Very light, airy colors. I didn't suggest anything to my FMIL. She's wearing black. Like she's mourning our union.

MeaghanandMichael · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:0146e62c-8446-4761-93ee-acc3f5185434">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : That's funny because I'm in the midwest (MI) and have never seen a cash bar, nor heard of anyone doing it. Actually, in all of my venue shopping, that wasn't even an option where I looked. Weird.
Posted by melhunny[/QUOTE]

This is the endless debate on cash bars. Some people from a certain area will swear up and down they are common so that makes it ok. Others from the same area will swoop in and swear they have never ever seen one. It is a social circle issue, not a regional issue. I say, when in doubt, step out of the box and do right by your guests.

Oh, and I prefer beer, wine and cash liquor to no liquor at all. I really prefer beer, wine and select signature liquors if a full open bar can't be done.

MeaghanandMichael · July 2010

Yeah, there are plenty of grown women who can't dress themselves. But, I would rather let them look like an ass then stress over it or deal with it.

merivale87 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:e49d246e-ea0b-49a2-81ed-f1a649087b1f">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : I'm definitely planning on having a few pre-game mimosas. 'Cause Indiana girls know how to par-tay. Also on the grown women dressing front, I think it's fine to make strong suggestions. My colors are light green, ivory, pale pink, etc. Very light, airy colors. I didn't suggest anything to my FMIL. She's wearing black. Like she's mourning our union.
Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]

<div>My FMIL and my mom are both wearing black (which of course caused a "she bought the same colour! fight), but it is more appropriate because it is a fall wedding and our colours are actually red and black. I'd agree that with your light beautiful colours she might stand out, lol.</div>

megk8oz · July 2010

Also, I don't always mind "fake" weddings after the JOP, as long as the couple admits they are married first and they don't treat the party as the "real" wedding.

I get super p!ssed when they lie and say they aren't married or if they say "Oh, we're only 'technically' married", and start creating insane registries and expect bach parties and whatnot.

But if they're upfront and say "Yeah, we got legally married for insurance/immigration, but we really want to have a nice party", I'm cool.

jasmineh7777 · July 2010

This is more of a regional novelty:
Everyone I know has gotten married before 30 years of age. Everyone.

vegasgroom · July 2010

I think huge engagement rings kick ass.

Starmusica · July 2010

I honestly have NO issue with cash bars.. but I am not a heavy drinker. 2 drinks and I am good for the most part. I've never even been to a wedding with an open bar all night.. though I learned here on theknot that in Boston.. open bar is the norm. That said.. we couldn't afford an entirely open bar. We are covering the cocktail hour open and then covering all the wine through dinner. I wish we had planned better but its the best we can do. Everyone knows and no one was surprised.

I also have NO issue with head tables. They are the norm with my friends and I never get annoyed if me and FH are split up.. its part of the deal.

THAT SAID- I took all of your advice and went with a sweetheart table. My ladies will get to sit with their men and they are pumped. I think its the better option but I wouldn't get annoyed with another bride over it.

edit: for the record i feel like crap over the open bar stuff but by the time we reached a point to realize it was a bad thing not to do it... we couldnt rebudget. its my one bad etiquette rule and I can deal. :-P i dont mind if u judge, i sorta judge me too

MarriedInAFever · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:48852518-8a07-4126-be87-e9a0de56bb0c">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, there are plenty of grown women who can't dress themselves. But, I would rather let them look like an ass then stress over it or deal with it.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

This is exactly my strategy.

amylydia23 · July 2010

I'm not gonna lie, my mom asked me what color I wanted her in and I told her what I wanted. I wouldn't flat out tell her but she asked.
I am not a fan of sweetheart tables either. I unfortunately am having one because the set up of our venue doesn't work with a head table.
I know it is completely acceptable to have an uneven wedding party but I think it looks weird if the WP isn't even.

pirategal03 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:e49d246e-ea0b-49a2-81ed-f1a649087b1f">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions : I'm definitely planning on having a few pre-game mimosas. 'Cause Indiana girls know how to par-tay. Also on the grown women dressing front, I think it's fine to make strong suggestions. My colors are light green, ivory, pale pink, etc. Very light, airy colors. I didn't suggest anything to my FMIL. She's wearing black. <strong>Like she's mourning our union.</strong>
Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]

Evidently, wearing gray to a wedding is mourning the union, unless she's going all out long sleeves widow's veil. Or so said the research my mother did on the subject. Sorry I can't tell you where she read that.

goheels05 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-wedding-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2b3e3c99-be76-4033-81e4-1203415e6535Post:48852518-8a07-4126-be87-e9a0de56bb0c">Re: Unpopular Wedding Opinions</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, there are plenty of grown women who can't dress themselves. But, I would rather let them look like an ass then stress over it or deal with it.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

If it's a guest, I don't giveashit what you wear. But if you're in my wedding, you have to know that there's a chance (and a pretty good one in my circle) that you're going to be told what to wear.

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