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Chit Chat
seesawgirl
member
How do you get your men to go clothes shopping??? (vent)
in Chit Chat
We cannot rent FI's wedding ensemble, because he is not wearing an actual tuxedo, and none of the local rental shops have the style of suit he is wanting to wear.
So today we were supposed to go find his slacks, vest, and shirt...and it was an utter nightmare.
It was like a switch went off in his head, and the wonderful, sweet, caring, grown man that I'm about to marry reverted into a bratty child.
He wanted to just slip nice button down shirts over his head in the middle of the store, and try them on over the soccer jersey he was wearing. He had to have these "wool" pants,(not really wool, some sort of blend) and being 6'4" and needing to wear a 34/34 in pants...the pickings were slim. We couldn't find the "wool" pants he wanted, so I found a pair that were identical to the wool ones, in the size he needed, just a different fabric...nope, that wouldn't work. After half an hour of this, he declared himself "done with shopping for the day" and headed for the register with the only item that he had approved- a shirt. At the register, the store employee rang up the sale, and when he saw that the shirt wasn't on sale like he thought it was, he jerked the shirt out of her hands, reached over the counter to get the hanger, and stormed off to hang the shirt back up. The poor girl looked so bewildered...she had no idea what was going on.
I have known that he hates shopping for clothes, and I get that its typical for men. But I think that behavior was pretty extreme.
Normally, I wouldn't care, for his regular clothes. He's got pretty decent fashion sense for every day, but as far as dressing up goes...he just doesn't do it very often, so he doesn't get that you shouldn't wear a plaid shirt with a striped tie, etc. I just want him to look nice the day of the wedding, and he's being so childish, its frustrating.
So anyways, how do you women cope with this? He's not like this at any other time other than when he has to buy clothes. Its just...something he absolutely HATES doing. How do I get around it? Just measure him and go shopping myself maybe? Grrr.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How do you get your men to go clothes shopping??? (vent)
[QUOTE]Yes. Just measure him and go shopping yourself. Bring home a choice for him, and return the others. What style of suit is he looking for? You can order from Kohl's or JC Penney's, and they both have great return policies, as well as special sizes for tall men. I'm confused about the slacks and vest thing. I've been clothes shopping for my husband for 35 years.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]
<div>
</div><div>CMGr- This is the style of clothing that he and his groomsmen want to wear for the wedding. Cute, but none of the rental places around here carry anything like that, so we are having to assemble it ourselves.</div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://photos.weddingbycolor.com/p/000/027/128/m/162772/p/photo/426086.jpg" rel="nofollow">http://photos.weddingbycolor.com/p/000/027/128/m/162772/p/photo/426086.jpg</a></div><div>
</div><div>So is that pretty normal for men? </div>
Shrug, I don't have any real advice here, I just can't get past a grown man acting like a 5-year-old in public just because he was doing something he doesn't like to do ... especially in the name of making his own personal pain in the a$$ wedding attire dream come true.
Also, I would skip the hats, especially if you are having a religious ceremony. Maybe wear them for a few pictures if you really want them. And I agree with PP about having jackets for the ceremony.
I'm sorry he's acting like this. Tell him to cool it!
[QUOTE]I wouldn't do anything. Let him shop for himself. If he doesn't get the outfit he wants, then that's his fault.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]
Yeah. I'm a little perplexed by all the women that enable their SOs' childish behavior by picking out their clothes for them. I married a man, not a child. I don't always love the clothes he picked out, but I don't have to wear them.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you get your men to go clothes shopping??? (vent) : Yeah. I'm a little perplexed by all the women that enable their SOs' childish behavior by picking out their clothes for them. I married a man, not a child. I don't always love the clothes he picked out, but I don't have to wear them.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
For me it is a time saving thing. If I take him shopping, he takes FOREVER. No joke. He is so indecisive. I'd rather save myself a couple of hours and just pick out the stuff myself. Since he isn't a big fan of shopping he doesn't care.
Wow. I would be horrified if FI acted like that in public! Do I like going to renew my drivers license? No but I would never dream of acting like a 5 year old when I go do it.
FI goes and buys his own clothing. If I see something he would like when I am shopping without him I will buy it for him, but I don’t go out shopping with the intent of buying his clothing for him. He is a grown man not a 5 year old I have to babysit or be worried about taking out in public.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you get your men to go clothes shopping??? (vent) : For me it is a time saving thing. If I take him shopping, he takes FOREVER. No joke. He is so indecisive. I'd rather save myself a couple of hours and just pick out the stuff myself. Since he isn't a big fan of shopping he doesn't care.
Posted by Juris11[/QUOTE]
You could save yourself even more time by, oh, I don't know....not going at all and letting him do it himself.
I only ever go clothes shopping with my H if we're both out and he needs to stop for something quick, or if he's shopping for new shirts and ties, and that's because I LIKE picking out shirts and ties. So does he so we enjoy doing that together.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you get your men to go clothes shopping??? (vent) : For me it is a time saving thing. If I take him shopping, he takes FOREVER. No joke. He is so indecisive. I'd rather save myself a couple of hours and just pick out the stuff myself. Since he isn't a big fan of shopping he doesn't care.
Posted by Juris11[/QUOTE]
Do you control the checkbook or something? Why does a grown man need to be taken shopping?
My husband is an adult, not a kid. I would never dream of saying "Okay, baby! We're going shopping today for clothes!! We'll pick you out a nice suit and some good shoes. What else do you need for school, err - work, baby?"
I ain't his mother.
I hate clothes shopping for myself-I've dropped 10 lbs for the sheer sake of not having to go pants shopping, that's how much I hate doing it. But I'm a grown up that understands that brand new clothes will not magically appear in my closet-if I don't want to go around naked, I need to suck it up and go shopping. If a woman was on here saying how much she hated shopping, nobody would be saying "Oh, just let your FI/DH shop for you if you hate it so much". Not even close. You'd all be telling her "Well, sweetie, clothes shopping is part of being an adult. You can suck it up and spend a few hours at Kohl's once or twice a year". I don't get why having a penis gives you a free pass on having to shop for yourself.
If I'm out already doing something else, and I happen upon a sweater or tie or something that I think DH would like, sure, I'll pick it up for him. And there have been occasions where he's asked me to go with him for a second opinion on certain things, so I'll tag along. But to just go shopping for him on my own? I don't think so. I'm not his mommy, and he's not a child, so I'm certainly not going to treat him that way. If he wants/needs new clothes, it's his responsibility to "man up" and take care of it himself.
[QUOTE]We cannot rent FI's wedding ensemble, because he is not wearing an actual tuxedo, and none of the local rental shops have the style of suit he is wanting to wear. So today we were supposed to go find his slacks, vest, and shirt...and it was an utter nightmare. It was like a switch went off in his head, and the wonderful, sweet, caring, grown man that I'm about to marry reverted into a bratty child. He wanted to just slip nice button down shirts over his head in the middle of the store, and try them on over the soccer jersey he was wearing. He had to have these "wool" pants,(not really wool, some sort of blend) and being 6'4" and needing to wear a 34/34 in pants...the pickings were slim. We couldn't find the "wool" pants he wanted, so I found a pair that were identical to the wool ones, in the size he needed, just a different fabric...nope, that wouldn't work. After half an hour of this, he declared himself "done with shopping for the day" and headed for the register with the only item that he had approved- a shirt.<strong> At the register, the store employee rang up the sale, and when he saw that the shirt wasn't on sale like he thought it was, he jerked the shirt out of her hands, reached over the counter to get the hanger, and stormed off to hang the shirt back up.</strong> The poor girl looked so bewildered...she had no idea what was going on. I have known that he hates shopping for clothes, and I get that its typical for men. But I think that behavior was pretty extreme. Normally, I wouldn't care, for his regular clothes. He's got pretty decent fashion sense for every day, but as far as dressing up goes...he just doesn't do it very often, so he doesn't get that you shouldn't wear a plaid shirt with a striped tie, etc. I just want him to look nice the day of the wedding, and he's being so childish, its frustrating. So anyways, how do you women cope with this? He's not like this at any other time other than when he has to buy clothes. Its just...something he absolutely HATES doing. <strong>How do I get around it? Just measure him and go shopping myself maybe? Grrr.</strong>
Posted by seesawgirl[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'd be less concerned about what he wears, and more concerned that he behaves like a 3 year old in public. </div><div>
</div><div>And you don't "get around it".I would also not enable his behavior by shopping for him. He needs to learn appropriate ways to deal with the frustration himself. Like an adult.</div><div>
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[QUOTE]I am floored by how many women just shop for their adult FI/DH instead of him being responsible for keeping himself clothed. I hate clothes shopping for myself-I've dropped 10 lbs for the sheer sake of not having to go pants shopping, that's how much I hate doing it. But I'm a grown up that understands that brand new clothes will not magically appear in my closet-if I don't want to go around naked, I need to suck it up and go shopping. <strong> If a woman was on here saying how much she hated shopping, nobody would be saying "Oh, just let your FI/DH shop for you if you hate it so much". </strong>Not even close. You'd all be telling her "Well, sweetie, clothes shopping is part of being an adult. You can suck it up and spend a few hours at Kohl's once or twice a year". I don't get why having a penis gives you a free pass on having to shop for yourself. If I'm out already doing something else, and I happen upon a sweater or tie or something that I think DH would like, sure, I'll pick it up for him. And there have been occasions where he's asked me to go with him for a second opinion on certain things, so I'll tag along. But to just go shopping for him on my own? I don't think so. I'm not his mommy, and he's not a child, so I'm certainly not going to treat him that way. If he wants/needs new clothes, it's his responsibility to "man up" and take care of it himself.
Posted by RamonaFlowers[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ha! Good point.</div><div>
</div><div>Add me to the "girls who hate shopping" club. I've been in sweats since my daughter was born, and now it's been 4 months.
</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to How do you get your men to go clothes shopping??? (vent) : I'd be less concerned about what he wears, and more concerned that he behaves like a 3 year old in public. And you don't "get around it".I would also not enable his behavior by shopping for him. He needs to learn appropriate ways to deal with the frustration himself. Like an adult.
Posted by LP11509[/QUOTE]
<div>I agree with this. If my FI ever acted like that to an employee, you better believe I'd be pissed as hell at him. You just don't act like that. Sorry, but he sounds like a jerk - he treated a random employee like crap for no reason except he wanted to throw a hissy fit, and he embarrassed you (I'm sure) in the process.</div><div>
</div><div>Tell him to buy his own clothes. Don't do it for him. He needs to grow up and fast.</div>
[QUOTE]If my H couldn't act like an adult instead of a petulant child for one day of shopping (FOR HIS CLOTHES) I wouldn't have married him. <strong>And I would have been HORRIFIED if he treated a cashier that way</strong>. How do you deal with this overgrown child?
Posted by LingerLonger1[/QUOTE]
<div>This. It goes back to the old dating advice. A guy who is nice to you but rude to the server is not a nice guy.</div><div>
</div><div>There is no way I could be with a guy who could behave that way in public. </div>
[QUOTE]Trust me, if this had been the standard in our relationship, it would have never gotten this far.<strong> He's got a short temper due to his high blood pressure</strong>, but in the 4 years we've been together, he's never been rude to people in public before. And yeah, pissed, embarressed, mortified, shocked, all of the above could most definitely describe my feelings on it. It was worse than shopping with my moody 13 year old brother. All I can think of, is that we'd gone out to eat at a cheap chinese buffet before that, and his doctor just adjusted his medicine since he'd lost weight. So possibly the combining factors made him more irrational that what he would have been. God I hope...I can't think of anything else, because it was completely out of character for him. As far as why I have to go with him to shop? I don't control the checkbook or anything, but besides the fact that he's all but color blind (I'm still trying to convince him that our coral colored couch isn't orange, and that my reading glasses are blue, not black) If I left it up to him, it would be a week before the wedding, and he still would not have clothes to wear. He just does not understand the concept of planning things in advance, and shopping while things are on sale, even if we don't need it at that moment. In his mind, he's still got 3 months to pick out what he's wearing, and shouldn't be bothered with it right now. Then there's the issue that I mentioned before, that he doesn't understand the concept of coordinating patterns, stripes, plaid, etc. He says "Oh, its gray, it goes together." and that's about all she wrote... And I don't care how long he spends in the store, honestly. I'm one of those women that hates shopping for myself, too, but I'll shop for other people all day long...so long as they aren't making a fool of themselves.
Posted by seesawgirl[/QUOTE]
I think you made a mistake. I think you meant to say "He's got high blood pressure due to his short temper."
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
My H bought his vest 4 days before the wedding. He had a vest to wear on our wedding day, and he looked great.
Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?
"cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
Eh I just don't see it as a big deal to go shopping for him. I love shopping, he doesn't like it, and I can get more done during a shopping trip if I go myself. If I didn't go and refused to pick out something for him, he would go do it himself he isn't a child. By no means would he throw a fit about it. I guess I don't see the point if I am out anyway and he needs a new shirt to be like "No you have to be an adult and go pick it out yourself."
I see it more as if he were going to the grocery store and I needed something, why the heck wouldn't he pick it up? I would be mad if he refused to do that. If I am going to the mall for something and he needs a shirt or what have you, why wouldn't I pick that up? But then again, I actually like clothes shopping, so there is also that.