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MOH

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Re: MOH

  • And the cost of living isnt the same in columbus as it is up here. And yes i have been to several non relgious weddings held in a church. And because my friend asked me to go with her full well knowing i didnt believe in a god or higher power and i was considered a member just because they saw me there every once in awhile. 
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6f59943-17ee-4b6a-b2f2-ccaa1519ca61Post:e6989656-d508-4f02-8292-b0402f714abb">Re: MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]The building itself would mean nothing to a "god". Its about the people that go there that make up a church. However most refuse to think that way and i can tell that most of you do. And yes you can have a non religious weddingin a church i have been to several of them. Bc not every church makes you be a member to get married in it. Knowing that people will want to get married there without faith. All you do is rent out the church its a pretty common thing to do. 
    Posted by RWhitesell[/QUOTE]

    It's not about what the church would mean to God - it's about what the church means to the members.  It's filled with the religion's history, images, and sacred objects.  A church, a temple, a mosque - all of these are to be respected.  I can't believe how flippant you are about a place that deserves respect.  Let's take religion out of it for a minute: would you walk into the state house of Kenya and demand to be married there even though you don't really care for any of their policies or openly have disdain for the country, but thought the artwork was pretty?  It's the same thing.  These places are respected because of the people who built it, created it, put their heart and soul into it.

    If you don't understand that, then I'm clearly not going to convince you.  I sincerely hope that the reverend, priest or pastor that you meet with turns you down flat when he realizes that you only want the beautiful scenery that their religion made but have no intention of respsecting the religion itself.
  • Last i checked people in this country can get married where they pleased. And just because i dont view a building as a place of worship means nothing. I respect peoples opinions on god or a higher power. But that doesnt mean i should have to conform to how they think. And to say that you have never heard of somebody thats not relgious getting married in a church is rediculous. Its a pretty common thing today, not to mention them saying that they arent getting married in a church bc they like it would be a lie.
  • pgcppgcp member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Are you being intentionally obtuse?  Or are you really having this much trouble understanding why what you want to do is offensive to many people?

    I am well aware of the fact that people do get married in churches when they don't believe in the faith.  That doesn't mean that I and many others don't find it offensive.  I was bothered when my husbands best friend got married in a church that neither he nor his wife belonged to.  They are both Christians but felt that their church was too ugly for the wedding.

    What makes your plan so much worse is that you plan on joining a congregation for the sole purpose of taking advantage of them, just so you can have a pretty backdrop for a one day event.  If you found a church that allowed non members to use the facilities for weddings, it would bother me much less.  I'd still think it was weird and inappropriate for someone who isn't a believer, but at least you would honest with your intentions.

  • bongebonge member
    First Comment
    Wow, just WOW. What a way to demean everything. 

    I'm sorry but i have been to plenty of weddings. Any one done in a church has some sort of religion. I believe they do prayers no matter what. They have too. 

    There are plenty of pretty parks that would suit you much better. You are going to offend a lot of people IRL with the attitude you have. I think for the most part parks have amazingly pretty backdrops for pictures, way more than a church.  They are not just pretty buildings, if that was the case why don't you get married in a school???

    I am not catholic but getting married in a catholic church & you bet your ass i believe, i am just not baptised & have no intention too right now, but we would not be getting married in the church if i did not believe in it. 

    His family has gotten married there for years, tons of history there, his parents were married there. Those are all good reasons but they are NOT good enough.Just like what you are saying is NOT good enough.  

    I go to church, i like the teachings, the priest is very picky & he had to decide if we could get married there, he felt we were honest & he could tell i believed. 

    One doesn't have to be religious to be offended by your lack of caring. 
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  • Dont catholic churches most baptist churches want you to be baptized to get married in the church. I never once said i would take a vow or get baptized. And honestly i dont care if people find the truth offensive or not regardless its still the truth and at least im honest about my intentions. And your offened that i dont believe and want to get married in a church more so than the fact that its a pretty place. I have said it several times now a chuch isnt a building its the people. Have you never gone to an outdoor service. Plus i dont want an outdoor wedding.
  • If you like the look of churches, can't you find a rental space with a similar look and feel if you're looking for exposed brick, curved ceilings, or whatever you find appealing about a church? 

    I used to coordinate weddings in the Minneapolis area, and I've never seen or heard of a church that could be used for an entirely non-religious ceremony.  So perhaps it's true in your area, but it's highly unusual.  I've never known of a church that simply rent out its space without having a say in what was happening, what type of ceremony was happening and who was conducting it.  The idea that churches simply rent out the building to whomever shows up is a little far-fetched. 

    But all of that aside, you should definitely hold off on scheduling anything with vendors until you have a date with a contract for your ceremony and reception location.

  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6f59943-17ee-4b6a-b2f2-ccaa1519ca61Post:7d3d65d6-25f6-46e5-bd57-ec074ec69bdf">Re: MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dont catholic churches most baptist churches want you to be baptized to get married in the church. I never once said i would take a vow or get baptized. And honestly i dont care if people find the truth offensive or not regardless its still the truth and at least im honest about my intentions. And your offened that i dont believe and want to get married in a church more so than the fact that its a pretty place. I have said it several times now a chuch isnt a building its the people. Have you never gone to an outdoor service. Plus i dont want an outdoor wedding.
    Posted by RWhitesell[/QUOTE]

    I don't even understand this post, your intentions with your words or your grammar.  My God, I'm can't believe such lack of respect in the world.  Or, rather, I can.  So sad.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6f59943-17ee-4b6a-b2f2-ccaa1519ca61Post:eeeaddc5-b6e9-4b53-b6ee-45c32c08e0e7">Re: MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Last i checked people in this country can get married where they pleased. </strong>And just because i dont view a building as a place of worship means nothing. I respect peoples opinions on god or a higher power. But that doesnt mean i should have to conform to how they think. And to say that you have never heard of somebody thats not relgious getting married in a church is rediculous. Its a pretty common thing today, not to mention them saying that they arent getting married in a church bc they like it would be a lie.
    Posted by RWhitesell[/QUOTE]

    No, not really.  The great thing about separation of church & state means that churches CAN be exclusive, and aren't required in any way, shape or form to marry the first person who thinks their building is pretty.

    You may want to check your "memberships" in the various churches you belong to (despite not believing in a god or higher power).  Just showing up doesn't cut it.  How do you think churches operate?  They don't get support from government entities (again, separation of church and state), and therefore operate on donations from members; I guess somehow you're magically exempt from making any donation?  Awesome, what church is that?  It's crazy how you have all of these special exceptions. 

    And if you respect people's opinions on a higher power, you wouldn't still be trying to justify your rude and disrespectful actions. 

    Also, spell check and punctuation are your friend. 
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  • OP, as someone who is religious, I find what you're doing to be very offensive.  You act like the fact that you are honest about what you want makes it better - it doesn't.  And honestly, I'm pretty sure it's not common to rent out churches for non-religious ceremonies.  I've been to many, many weddings and never have I been to a non-religious one in a church.  Also, a church IS more than just a building.  It is a special place of worship that is consecrated and sacred and is most definitely a house of God.  To say otherwise is naive.  Catholics must actually get married inside a church because it's more than just a building. 

    Please reconsider getting married in a church.  I'm sure you can find a nice, beautiful venue that's inside and not a church.

    As far as the rest of your problems, just tell your MOH and sister that you appreciate their concern and help, but that you've got it all under control and then stop sharing details with them.  And just keep telling them that until they stop asking.
  • bongebonge member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6f59943-17ee-4b6a-b2f2-ccaa1519ca61Post:bb9e7c7b-ee5b-418a-8154-e68a4775089f">Re: MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP, as someone who is religious, I find what you're doing to be very offensive.  <strong>You act like the fact that you are honest about what you want makes it better - it doesn't.  And honestly, I'm pretty sure it's not common to rent out churches for non-religious ceremonies.  I've been to many, many weddings and never have I been to a non-religious one in a church.  Also, a church IS more than just a building.  It is a special place of worship that is consecrated and sacred and is most definitely a house of God.  To say otherwise is naive.  Catholics must actually get married inside a church because it's more than just a building.</strong>  Please reconsider getting married in a church.  I'm sure you can find a nice, beautiful venue that's inside and not a church. As far as the rest of your problems, just tell your MOH and sister that you appreciate their concern and help, but that you've got it all under control and then stop sharing details with them.  And just keep telling them that until they stop asking.
    Posted by RunsWithBears[/QUOTE]

    Exactly this, sums up what i was trying to say.

    To answer your question, no you do NOT have to be catholic or be baptized to get married in a catholic church but it is very hard if you have been baptized in a christian faith. My fiance belongs (which btw they have an actual member roll call book, you can't just "show up" & you are a member) to the church as he is catholic.
     
    One person has to be catholic. You have to be semi-active. We had to get the priests permission though because i am not baptized & agree to raise any future children catholic. Being he has a religion & i do not i agreed wholeheartedly.

    Ask any person who is a real member of a congregation if a church is just a building & you will find out fast it isn't. There is often a lot of history & memories inside a church. If it was just a building where people practised religion a lot of people would stay at home. It means way more than that to most folks which is why they get married in a church.

    You are still a piece of work. That doesn't change just because you are upfront about your intentions. If this was the olden days you would be stoned if you walked into a church & told them what you have told us, because a church is special! You totally demean it. How sad.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6f59943-17ee-4b6a-b2f2-ccaa1519ca61Post:7d3d65d6-25f6-46e5-bd57-ec074ec69bdf">Re: MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dont catholic churches most baptist churches want you to be baptized to get married in the church. I never once said i would take a vow or get baptized. And honestly i dont care if people find the truth offensive or not regardless its still the truth and at least im honest about my intentions. And your offened that i dont believe and want to get married in a church more so than the fact that its a pretty place. I have said it several times now a chuch isnt a building its the people. Have you never gone to an outdoor service. Plus i dont want an outdoor wedding.
    Posted by RWhitesell[/QUOTE]

    Are you just trying to stir up controversy? Several people have now made it clear that your decision will offend many. You're coming across as spoiled and disrespectful.

    If all you want is a "pretty building," why not find an old library, museum, mansion, even a beautiful rustic barn? I have never been to Ohio, but I'm sure if you asked the members of your local board, they could suggest dozens of great venues.
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  • SKPMSKPM member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    I can't figure out why the OP would want to begin her marriage in a house of worship that she doesn't subscribe to. I am not religious for specific reasons, and I would never want such a milestone moment in my life to take place in a building that is associated with things that I don't agree with or believe in. (To be clear, I have zero issue with people who are religious and get married in their church.)

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  • I'm so offfended by this... You're a real piece of work RWhitesell... As someone who was raised as a Catholic and who's FI was raised Mormon, to have someone who has such blatent disrespect for a house of worship is unforgiveable. As PP's have said, I hope the priest sees right through you and denies you membership to this church. A church is a sacred place, the ground on which it stands is sacred, and you're pretty much spitting on it, and frankly it makes me sick.
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  • In catholic and baptist churches one person has to be a member of the church. And you ladys can think its rude and offensive all you want but that doesn't change what im doing. And it was acutally somebody thats part of congeration that told me the chuch is the people  not the building. Just most people dont want to see it that way. Obvs most of you think a church is a building and not the people of the building. But theres nothing wrong with hearing how others believe to get my way. And thats all it would be is me learning how different religions think and believe.

  • Ali092011Ali092011 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6f59943-17ee-4b6a-b2f2-ccaa1519ca61Post:0167a6a0-c837-4701-91e6-4461b8ca3f51">Re: MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]In catholic and baptist churches one person has to be a member of the church. And you ladys can think its rude and offensive all you want but that doesn't change what im doing. <strong>And it was acutally somebody thats part of congeration that told me the chuch is the people  not the building.</strong> Just most people dont want to see it that way. Obvs most of you think a church is a building and not the people of the building. But theres nothing wrong with hearing how others believe to get my way. And thats all it would be is me learning how different religions think and believe.
    Posted by RWhitesell[/QUOTE]

    You're kind of proving us all right with that comment, though. Yes, a church is a congregation. A church is a place where that congregation meets to worship together. A congregation is made up of people who worhip in the same place and <em>share the same belief system</em>. They believe in God, Jesus, the Bible, its teachings, etc. When they marry in their church they are making a commitment not only to their spouse, but to <em>God</em>.

    Seriously, ASK someone who belongs to that church you want to use for your PPD. Sit down with them and say, "I don't subscribe to anything you believe, will not have a relgious ceremony, and don't plan on joining, learning about the religion, or becoming a member of the congregation, but I want to have my wedding here. Is that okay?"

    What you're doing is NOT what anyone meant when they said that a church is a congregation of people, not a building.

    ETA: It's worth mentioning FTR that I am not religious and don't attend church (but I was raised going to church). So this is not coming from someone for whom this really hits home. If I am offended and others like me are offended, again, think about the possibility that you're wrong.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6f59943-17ee-4b6a-b2f2-ccaa1519ca61Post:0167a6a0-c837-4701-91e6-4461b8ca3f51">Re: MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]In catholic and baptist churches one person has to be a member of the church. And you ladys<strong> (*ladies)</strong> can think its rude and offensive all you want but that doesn't change what im doing. And it was acutally somebody thats part of congeration <strong>(*congregation) </strong> that told me the chuch is the people  not the building. Just most people dont want to see it that way. Obvs most of you think a church is a building and not the people of the building. But theres nothing wrong with hearing how others believe to get my way. And thats all it would be is me learning how different religions think and believe.
    Posted by RWhitesell[/QUOTE]


    And in Catholic churches, you have to at least attend Pre-Cana, which consists of either day-long class that involves you professing <u>your belief</u> in God and the Catholic faith numerous times (which you have already stated that you don't believe in a higher power), or a series of shorter classes where you do the same thing.  It isn't just hearing what other people believe.  So it looks like Catholic churches aren't going to work for you, and any priest in their right mind can and should turn you down. 

    Between this and the other thread about kicking a pregnant bridesmaid out of the WP, you are probably one of the most ridiculous posters I've seen on here. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6f59943-17ee-4b6a-b2f2-ccaa1519ca61Post:eeeaddc5-b6e9-4b53-b6ee-45c32c08e0e7">Re: MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]Last i checked people in this country can get married where they pleased. And just because i dont view a building as a place of worship means nothing. I respect peoples opinions on god or a higher power. But that doesnt mean i should have to conform to how they think. And to say that you have never heard of somebody thats not relgious getting married in a church is rediculous. Its a pretty common thing today, not to mention them saying that they arent getting married in a church bc they like it would be a lie.
    Posted by RWhitesell[/QUOTE]
    You already know from your friend that THIS church would require you to be a member in order to get married in it - and you're willing to LIE to become a member just to use it to get married in.  Obviously THIS church does not do non-religious weddings, otherwise it would not require that the bride and groom be members. Capisce?  It's really not that hard of a concept, and joining a church just to be able to use a pretty space to get married in is really despicable.



  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6f59943-17ee-4b6a-b2f2-ccaa1519ca61Post:0167a6a0-c837-4701-91e6-4461b8ca3f51">Re: MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]In catholic and baptist churches one person has to be a member of the church. And you ladys can think its rude and offensive all you want but that doesn't change what im doing. And it was acutally somebody thats part of congeration that told me the chuch is the people  not the building. Just most people dont want to see it that way. Obvs most of you think a church is a building and not the people of the building. But theres nothing wrong with hearing how others believe to get my way. And thats all it would be is me learning how different religions think and believe.
    Posted by RWhitesell[/QUOTE]
    Well bless your heart, you're a bit slow aren't you?



  • No im not getting married in a catholic church.

  • libby2483libby2483 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2012
    I have been to many religious weddings inside of churches.  I have been to many non-religious weddings outside of churches.  My own wedding will be outdoors, and will have some religious elements such as readings from the Bible.  

    However, I have NEVER been to a wedding that is inside of a church and had NO religious elements.  That just doesn't make any sense to me. And I can't imagine you will be able to find a pastor or priest who will officiate a wedding in his or her church and remove all religious aspects.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6f59943-17ee-4b6a-b2f2-ccaa1519ca61Post:0167a6a0-c837-4701-91e6-4461b8ca3f51">Re: MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]In catholic and baptist churches one person has to be a member of the church. And you ladys can think its rude and offensive all you want but that doesn't change what im doing. And it was acutally somebody thats part of congeration that told me the chuch is the people  not the building. Just most people dont want to see it that way. <strong>Obvs most of you think a church is a building and not the people of the building.</strong> But theres nothing wrong with hearing how others believe to get my way. And thats all it would be is me learning how different religions think and believe.
    Posted by RWhitesell[/QUOTE]

    No, we see it as a house of God AND include the people as <u>part</u> of that. Have you not read a word anyone has said about weddings, funerals, and other things that make that church a sanctuary/home for many people?
  • Doesn't the fact that it is being held in a church incorporate religion from the very beginning? How can you have a ceremony with no religious elements in a church? I just don't see how that works. Don't you risk the possibility of a large cross hanging in the background of all of your wedding pictures?

    And I do not see a church as just a building. God (notice how I say God and not "a god") had very specific instructions for the building of the tabernacle and the temple. Also, Catholics and Seventh-Day Adventists (the two religions with which I am the most familiar) put a lot of effort into the design and meaning of their churches, because it is so much more than just a building.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6f59943-17ee-4b6a-b2f2-ccaa1519ca61Post:dc6428b2-843c-4524-b513-d63cf30fe843">Re: MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]Actually yes <strong>you can ask for no mention of religion in the ceremony</strong>...<strong>have you never been to a non religious wedding before?</strong> And i have been a member at several churches with no fee so its something i would have to look into which is what im doing tomorrow. Not to mention it depends on what type of church it is. And yes i am from north eastern ohio and its nothing like columbus at all you cant even compare the two actually.
    Posted by RWhitesell[/QUOTE]

    Yes, you can ask but I am highly doubtful any church, let alone priest/pastor/minister will allow such a thing.

    And yes, I have been to a non-religious ceremony...it was mine!  We had no mention of any religion or prayers in our ceremony because we do not practice our religion and would have felt weird and hypocritical about including it.

    Yes, some churches may not require a "fee" but a donation is highly expected.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_moh-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:b6f59943-17ee-4b6a-b2f2-ccaa1519ca61Post:eeeaddc5-b6e9-4b53-b6ee-45c32c08e0e7">Re: MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Last i checked people in this country can get married where they pleased.</strong> And just because i dont view a building as a place of worship means nothing. I respect peoples opinions on god or a higher power. But that doesnt mean i should have to conform to how they think. And to say that you have never heard of somebody thats not relgious getting married in a church is rediculous. Its a pretty common thing today, not to mention them saying that they arent getting married in a church bc they like it would be a lie.
    Posted by RWhitesell[/QUOTE]

    This could not be farther from the truth.  There are TONS of places you can't get married.  Have you ever known a Mormon?  Seriously.  That's aside from tons of public places you can't get married, not just religious places. 

    And I, too, am on the train that thinks that you can't have a non-religious wedding in a church.  I have never seen a wedding in a church without so much as a prayer, so I think you're full of it.  If you get married in a church, you get married by a priest, reverend or the like which inherently makes it religious.  I've never seen a judge do a wedding in a church either, for that matter.   
  • "The building itself would mean nothing to a "god". Its about the people that go there that make up a church. However most refuse to think that way and i can tell that most of you do. And yes you can have a non religious weddingin a church i have been to several of them. Bc not every church makes you be a member to get married in it. Knowing that people will want to get married there without faith. All you do is rent out the church its a pretty common thing to do.  "

    Wow, that bolded part would actually be really funny, if you weren't actually being serious. You say you don't believe in God, but then you say what God would think about this? That is... funny? sad? Not sure. Then you say people "refuse" to think that way about a church- What? You don't believe in God or in Church but you come here and tell people the way that they should think about it?

    Anyway, I am a practicing Catholic and I find it offensive and a mockery to any religion to use their place of worship as a pretty backdrop for your ceremony. But then again, clearly offending people is not a concern of yours.
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  • So when you go to the meetings with the priest/minister to set up your wedding, how are you going to respond when he asks you why you want to get married in his church?
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  • Wow... I came into this late but wow.

    OP, if you're looking at a Catholic Church, you're in for a whole world full of surprise.  Yes, you need to do a religious ceremony there.  Yes, you need to use their specific, religion related vows and readings.  You will also need to do Pre Cana, where you will learn what a Catholic marriage entails, have multiple meetings with the pastor, and vow to be open to children and to raise them as Catholic.

    So...it's not just a building.  It's a religious center, built and based on religious values.  Go find a nice old manor house or something if you just want pretty. If you get married in a church, without any intention of following the religious aspects, you're being disrespectful and lying.
  • Before I read anyone else's response, here is my 2 cents:

    1)  Your MOH needs to get a grip and stay out of the planning.  The less you tell her, the less she has to criticize.  She only needs to know the important stuff, not all of the tiny details.  THIS is another reason why you wait to ask your WP....so you don't have to deal with crap like this.

    2)  Your sister also needs to butt out.  She doesn't get a say on the invites or anything else for that matter.  Period.  When she gets married, then she can decide.

    3)  A church is not a prop.  I think it's a sneaky tactic to join a church just b/c you think it's pretty and want to get married inside of one.  It's just wrong for sooooo many reasons, whether you believe in a higher power or not, it's just wrong!

     

  • Holy run-on sentences. Punctuation is your friend.

    And I didn't read all of the replies, so sorry if I'm repeating. But, perhaps it's just because I'm religious, but DO NOT become a member of a church just because it's pretty. That's disrespectful and you're just wasting their (and your) time. 
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