Tacky?

LDYGTR13 · March 2010

So, we're having a 4 o'clock wedding in October outside under a big gazebo over the water - then we're heading inside the adjacent banquet hall for the reception. We're not having a formal wedding, but it's also not super casual *I would NOT be thrilled if someone showed up in jeans, but Khaki's are totally fine.* We both grew up eating BBQ and we really want it for the reception but everyone I tell that we want BBQ keeps saying "But you'll be wearing a white dress!" or "ugh, really? why?" or something of that nature.

I've heard the whole "It's your wedding! Do what you want!" thing but I just don't want anyone to think it's tacky or awkward.

MOH says: "BBQ for a casual picnic wedding would be perfectly acceptable - but since you're having a nighttime indoor reception BBQ would be tacky."

Whatcha think!?

mrschristensen88 · March 2010

Do what you want! Brides have to be careful eating ANYTHING at their weddings

BBQ does have a higher risk factor, but I say go with it!

wcvsb3b5 · March 2010

I LOVE bbq. I say totally go for it. And I definitely don't think it's inappropriate unless it's super formal! You don't have to be wearing jeans to enjoy a good bbq

kaesha · March 2010

I think there's lots of was to jazz up bbq so it doesn't look like a jeans & flannel event! It's all in the presentation, right? The risk factor for the dress is high, but if you're okay with that, then you should totally do it.

JessieR933 · March 2010

I agree with everyone. Have BBQ! Do be careful with your dress though. I am up for good BBQ anytime. Happy planning!

flamingtwig72 · March 2010

I agree with your MOH. A traditional barbecue has no place at an indoor or evening event. However, there are ways to incorporate some of those flavors into appropriate dishes. Any good chef will be able to work with you to create something that combines the barbecue aspect with the setting, but you definitely should not have normal barbecue food like hot dogs and hamburgers.

breannemarie · March 2010

uh....BBQ does not always mean hotdogs and hamburgers. get a life and think outside the box! BBQ beef or pork, ribs, chicken, shrimp, fish can all be grilled or BBQ'ed! yummy! if you want BBQ go for it!

AngelaOct11 · March 2010

My husband works for his family's BBQ catering business so we had BBQ at our wedding. It wasn't a casual wedding and I don't see anything wrong with having BBQ. They make really good food and we got many compliments on the food. BBQ varies with the region that it is in. My husbands BBQ doesn't have sauce on it (according to him real BBQ does not have sauce) so that wasn't an issue any more than any other food we could have had. They cater a lot of weddings that aren't casual backyard receptions.

pjseabee · March 2010

First off... I LOVE BBQ... and so does FI. I might serve it at the rehearsal dinner, but it wouldn't even be a consideration for our reception since we're in a ballroom. If we had chosen our 2nd option of the banquet room right on the lake I would think about it, but I doubt I would ever do it for the size wedding we're having (250)People just expect more than BBQ at a indoor reception. Tough call.

AliciaW26 · March 2010

What tacky? lol...I'm all for BBQ...so much so we decided to have it at our reception in April...We want everyone to enjoy the food and it's alot cheaper on our budget as well...and yes it's a formal reception at our church...I see nothing wrong with doing what you want at your wedding...and your guests are going to be eating free food...if they think its tacky then maybe they shouldnt eat it and save more for the others.

UDscoobychick · March 2010

My friends had BBQ at their wedding, but it was a super-casual reception at a lodge at a state park. It was delicious! I love BBQ as much as the next person, but I'd have to agree that it would seem a little out-of-place at an indoor reception (to me, it's the indoor part moreso than the wedding part that makes it seem out-of-place). Maybe consider it for the rehearsal dinner, as OP suggested?

nhelene · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:83419353-1dfc-47b9-a9b5-9b1ae602a5f2Post:fb779d58-9eff-470c-a003-837a670831ee">Re: Tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think there's lots of was to jazz up bbq so it doesn't look like a jeans & flannel event! It's all in the presentation, right? Posted by kaesha[/QUOTE]

I'm thinking a bed of coleslaw with an large 'ice cream' scoop of pulled pork on top. Bonus points if you can get your cornbread baked in madeleine molds.

LDYGTR13 · March 2010

Good idea! That really would make it a bit more classy lol. Thanks for the insight ladies - I'm going to take every single bit of it into consideration!

WhitneyEB7 · March 2010

There's nothing at all tacky about BBQ. Ok, if you're having your wedding at the Plaza Hotel, maybe try something a little more upscale, but seriously, anywhere other than an overly stuffy, ridiculously expensive venue, bbq is perfectly fine. I'm having a very nice fall evening reception with men wearing tuxes, etc., and we're serving bbq. It's delicious, easy, and relatively easy on the budget. Like someone earlier commented, you're serving your guests dinner, if they have an issue with the formality of the food or have the audacity to comment on the "lack of elegance," they're the ones out of line, not you. It's your wedding, have some great bbq, have fun, and enjoy!!!

BBrazill · March 2010

It's your day girl. And who cares about the dress- when are going to wear it again anyways? If that's what you two enjoy- it's your persoanl choice. As mentioned already, just set it up nicely and it might be cute to make little signs next to each item giving it a more personal touch like " (brides name)'s favorite homestyle potatoes". Let your MOH do whatever she wants for HER wedding but this is your day. I know she's trying to help but ask her to help make the BBQ idea work for a little more formal event. That's her duty- to help YOU do what YOU want the best way possible. Good luck and follow your instincts.

hettieandjon4eva · March 2010

My friend had Rib City Grill cater her wedding, it was a really formal event and everyone raved about the food. It really is all about the presentation, and also giving people food that can be eaten wtih a fork, such as bbq beef and turkey slabs. On the bone woudl be a little hard to eat

November Bride 2010 · March 2010

Okay BBQ is not tacky the Dress is a risky event with any kind of food. Its just the risk you run. I plan on having a white table cloth that will go over my lap when I sit down, knowing me and the time when I need to not spill something i will so from under the table knowone will know i have a white table cloth over my lap. Just have a good tied stick and if anyone asks what kind of etire the event is, say "dress casual" that means no Jeans but not a big fancy dress or suit and tie. Happy planning!

JoannaT35 · March 2010

Not tacky at all! That would fit for my family too. You be confident and have a good time! Don't listen to nay-sayers, you know it'll be awesome. My family is the same way about BBQ :-)

nurseshark7 · March 2010

it depends on how formal you plan your reception to be. If people are going to show up in Kahkis, then a BBQ is completely appropriate. I grew up in the south where if you're having more than 50 people over, you stick a pig in a pit. So long as you leave the hot dogs and hamburgers at home, and just make the BBQ a pulled pork dish, it'll be great. Think of an indigenous islander festival.

angelbaybaytn1 · March 2010

I love BBQ!!! I think that's perfectly fine & I keep seeing on all of these bridal websites where "comfort food" is the new have to have for receptions so why not? A friend of mine had fries chicken at her wedding last october. She decorated the tables with little pumpkins with their last name painted on them & used mason jars as candle holders & tied pretty ribbons around the tops of them, it turned out super cute & to be honest when she first told me here decor I thought it sounded tacky. I think the key to a reception is making it fun for everyone & everyone has more fun when the atmoshere is laid back & comforting. You go girl, great idea!

brandyandbrian10 · March 2010

BBQ is common in Texas. In fact thats whats served at prolly abouit 80% of weddings. And honestly, often times its the most affordable option.

I am doing spring colors in October and I dont care- if they dont like it then they can stop at a fancy restaraunt on the way home ! =P

Best of luck hun, I know its stressful trying to please everyone, but you will never please them all. As brides we just have to remember to please ourselves, and our fiances, the rest of the people can please themselves.

Good luck!

ashdobbs11 · March 2010

I think this is an awesome option!!! BBQ is generally an all around food.. and have the reception indoor outdoor... like leave the doors open and it opens up a ton of options! and 4 o clock isnt a "night" wedding, i dont think... I SAY GO FOR IT!!

mbird84 · March 2010

We are doing a very similar thing. We are having barbeque and potato salad. All the trimmings. We are a low key couple and we decided we want to be as comfortable as possible during our wedding. Which included the food. If someone doesn't like it, then too bad for them. If you guys are happy, then that's all that matters.

heather.kravagna · March 2010

I agree about the presentation being key. My cousin is from Savannah, GA and they had Low Country Boil at their reception. It's generally served in the same kind of scene as BBQ - casual outdoor cookouts - but all they did was take it out of the huge pot they usually cook & serve it in, and presented it in a nice silver serving platter. As long as the BBQ has a nice presentation, its not tacky at all! I like UDscoobychick's idea - less sauce might be better not only for your dress and everyone else's nice clothes, but less dripping and messy usually = more classy. Not having it swimming in sauce - even putting the sauce on the side for people to use as they like - might make the presentation better.

segross09 · March 2010

I was watching the show called Rich Bride Poor Bride and the couple had BBQ with wine at their wedding and it turned out just fine. If that's what you guys want to do then do at least people can't complain about the food being nasty. Never can go wrong with BBQ food.

debfavre · March 2010

I believe that having good food you can eat is important on the day of. You're going to be stressed out and starving by the time you get to the recetion. And if you're traveling for the honeymoon, you can't plan on bailing yourself out with airport food or fast food. If you opt not to, try bbq cocktail weenies or some other bbq meat.

We chose our favorite restaurant Carrabbas. They have catering. I had no idea they'd bring me food, or I'd have had it at several other occassions already lol. Your wedding, your taste buds. Better than having some fancy thing you've never heard of that tastes like it was made at a retirement home cafeteria.

ohkay14 · March 2010

I went to a wedding with a very classily done BBQ dinner. They had lovely set tables, and a roasting pig or lamb, and everyone served themselves. And it WAS formal.

A wedding is a party. I think you should have fun with it.

heather.kravagna · March 2010

And 4o'clock DEFINITELY isn't a night wedding. I wanted a candle-lit garden reception in May, when the sun doesn't set till about 8, so we are starting our ceremony at 6 pm & having the reception at around 8. Since its so late we're having a desert reception with some hors d'oeuvres for those who are diabetic or dieting, and those who are drinking. I think BBQ at 4pm is just fine.

bexter_fish · March 2010

i DONT DO tacky - i hate anything cheap/tacky and im a total traditionalist but i think BBQ isf fine exept think about the smell.. if you happy with your wedding dress having that distict smoked smell thats ok but BBQs do tend to leave you a bit smelly and sticky ribs etc which are super yummy are also super messy and a ketchup stained smell dressi snt a good look, on the other hand a few good plates (maybe proper plates rather than paper) and warn your guests that their finery might smell a little thus i suggest not having it formal and i see khakis and jeans about the same level of casual personally!
But if you want a BBQ have one! make sure the person running it is good and not just uncle jon who will give your guests food poisioning from raw chicken (BBQs are notrious for that!)
Do what you like for your biog day - and enjoy

tierneybridget · March 2010

mmmm... now i'm hungry for bbq! ^_^

i'm pretty sure that if the food is good, no one will care what type it is (except perhaps vegetarians

). everyone will be talking about how much they love bbq instead of how formal or informal the meal seems. at least that's what i'd be doing! go for it!

MISSCOURTNEY20 · March 2010

I say go for it!! The one thing people ALWAYS talk about at receptions, is the food. Would you rather have them upset with it or rave about how good it was? I can guarantee, the bbq will be a hit!! My aunt had a very formal wedding and served bbq 10 years ago, and we still talk about how good the food was. Just be careful while you are eating, but mistakes can happen with anything. ENJOY!!!

Tacky?

Re: Tacky?

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