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Unpopular Opinions

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Re: Unpopular Opinions

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:a754a7a3-0bbc-4592-aa89-227d4343c3e3">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : <strong>he did have a choice when he banged her he chose to risk pregnancy.  Once the child is here he needs to support it unless suitable adoptive parents can be found and they both want to give up their rights</strong>.  Parents who pay support do not pay 100% of the costs to support a child.  The custodial parent is almost always getting screwed on that deal.  At frankly it is usually the mom.
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

    ...so did the mom? So she should also be forced to carry to term the baby and care for it? So you're against abortion?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:e6239f73-c006-4916-9c39-94b9025a62ca">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not talking about abortions at all.  I'm talking about when the child is born, one person should not be able to walk away just because they don't want to deal with the situation.  If a man wants a woman to have an abortion, but the woman decides to do it on her own, then no I don't think the man should be held responsible.  But if it comes down to the wire and one person decides all of a sudden that they don't want any responsibility, I think that's crap. 
    Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]
    Men don't have the choice to control whether the child is born or not, that's a choice that is left entirely up to the mother. I don't think men should be able to pack up and walk away from a child that they've had a relationship with, but if the man has no relationship with the child, I think they should be able to walk away if they don't feel they are ready for the responsibility of a child. If we're going to be a society that promotes the choice to be a parent, the sex of the parent shouldn't matter. 
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  • My UO is that in some cases, I'm all in favor of state-imposed sterilization.  The couple that has already had 5 children removed from their home (2 immediately after birth, the other 3 not soon enough and were victims of sexual abuse by their own father) - I am totally ok with any measures that would no longer allow them to reproduce. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:a754a7a3-0bbc-4592-aa89-227d4343c3e3">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : <strong> he did have a choice when he banged her he chose to risk pregnancy.</strong>  Once the child is here he needs to support it unless suitable adoptive parents can be found and they both want to give up their rights.  Parents who pay support do not pay 100% of the costs to support a child.  The custodial parent is almost always getting screwed on that deal.  At frankly it is usually the mom.
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

    I just can't stand behind this argument though, and I'm guessing it's because I'm pro-life.  A woman who makes the choice to have sex too, yet she has a way out when the law says it is legal for her to have an abortion.  His only way out, based on this argument, is if SHE chooses to have an abortion.  Otherwise he's stuck.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:6f625f4e-4ce3-4e3b-b2d7-09dadeb14eda">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh I also didn't mean that I am bothered by people who love their curves.  I just don't like being constantly told that I am unhealthy because I am the size that I am.  I don't think its right to point out how skinny I am or complain about people who are size 2, anymore than it is okay to point out how fat someone else is or complain about people who are size 10.  In my experience,society tends to have no problem telling me I am too skinny as a joke ("Eat some cake!"  Or "Ugh you are a size two?  I hate you"), but if I called someone fat or told them to lose weight, I would be a bitch.  This doesn't make sense to me.  I generally don't think anyone should be commenting on anyone else's body no matter what their size is.
    Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]


    I'd KILL to be a size 10. Size 10 is not fat.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:3c7daab0-188d-4e12-903e-cf736bc2bec3">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : No not at all I I am just pointing out that the man had the choice to keep it in his pants if he doesn't want to get someone pregnant.  ETA:  That is why I said once the child is here. 
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

    You're missing the point. Mom has full control over whether or not 'once the child is here' happens.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:a754a7a3-0bbc-4592-aa89-227d4343c3e3">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions :<strong> he did have a choice when he banged her he chose to risk pregnancy.</strong>  Once the child is here he needs to support it unless suitable adoptive parents can be found and they both want to give up their rights.  Parents who pay support do not pay 100% of the costs to support a child.  The custodial parent is almost always getting screwed on that deal.  At frankly it is usually the mom.
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]
    The mom had the exact same choice
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:2e3e7921-e426-412b-a8b5-ccbb4c6c1785">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I'd KILL to be a size 10. Size 10 is not fat.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

    To some people it is.
  • SIL (last story, then I'll quit bitching about her) was whining about her exH not paying enough child support. He paid $500 a month or something. She kept saying, "I can't raise two kids for that amount of money! He should have to pay more!"

    She was pissed when I said, "He's not supposed to pay for the whole amount. You're supposed to contribute, too."

    I also have a problem with women who want all their child's father's money, but don't ever want to allow the father access to the child. Unless, of course, the father is abusive.
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    "I wish I could have sparkly tits every single day of my life." --MUNI
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:edfe9982-6691-4a4e-946b-74ca652e88df">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : <strong>They do have the choice to walk away.  Just because you are financially responsible does not mean you have to be involved with the child.</strong>  You know it's like paying for insurance for some people.  It's a bill for something they never see, use or care about. 
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

    That's complete bs.  Financially responsible =/= 'walking away.'
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:ef726e02-d076-47a5-8ea0-e528b394ef4f">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Men don't have the choice to control whether the child is born or not, that's a choice that is left entirely up to the mother. I don't think men should be able to pack up and walk away from a child that they've had a relationship with, but if the man has no relationship with the child, I think they should be able to walk away if they don't feel they are ready for the responsibility of a child. If we're going to be a society that promotes the choice to be a parent, the sex of the parent shouldn't matter. 
    Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

    Yes, but men and women will NEVER be completely equal in that aspect, simply because one has to carry the child and the other doesn't.  In my argument, I didn't specify who gets to walk out.  I don't think EITHER parent should be able to walk out without consquences, unless both parties come to some kind of agreement.  That's why I don't think this can be compared to abortion, because the woman will always have the final say.
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    Way cooler." - anna.oskar
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:2e3e7921-e426-412b-a8b5-ccbb4c6c1785">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I'd KILL to be a size 10. Size 10 is not fat.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

    I hate it when people say I'd kill to be a size#.  Size numbers are so irrelevant to defning what is healthy or not healthy.  A size 10 on one person could look like a size 16 on another and a size 6 on another.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:edfe9982-6691-4a4e-946b-74ca652e88df">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : They do have the choice to walk away.  Just because you are financially responsible does not mean you have to be involved with the child.  You know it's like paying for insurance for some people.  It's a bill for something they never see, use or care about. 
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]
    If a mom doesn't want to financially support a baby, she can have an abortion and be out the cost of the abortion. If a man doesn't want a child but the mom has the baby, he's on the hook for a minimum of 18 years financially, whether he wants to be or not. 
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  • cheeseandricecheeseandrice member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:1995eff5-654f-402f-be33-a90f4a3c8fe4">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I disagree.  he participated knowing the risk was that she could get pregnant.  he has full control of his diick and his sperm.  keep your diick away and you have all the control no? 
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

    Why aren't you saying the same thing to the mom?  Why are we treating women who get knocked up like poor little victims of the big mean IMPREGNANTING MEN?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:1995eff5-654f-402f-be33-a90f4a3c8fe4">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I disagree.  he participated knowing the risk was that she could get pregnant.  he has full control of his diick and his sperm.  keep your diick away and you have all the control no? 
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]
    <div>And a woman should keep her legs closed if she doesn't want to get pregnant <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-yell.gif" border="0" alt="Yell" title="Yell" /></div>
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  • I agree that people shouldn't be commenting on other people's body, regardless of whether they're skinny or fat.  I just don't feel bad for people who are told to "eat a sandwich," etc. because overweight people are constantly inundated with images and being thin is far more socially acceptable (and desirable, FFS) than being overweight.  I know this probably makes me an asshole.  IDGAF.  That's why it's unpopular.

    And I don't think guys get to surrender parental rights.  They chose to have sex knowing that things are what they are-- women can choose to have an abortion.  If guys are that worried about it, don't have sex.  Sorry bout it.  It is what it is.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:89b2520e-50bc-4fe8-b733-d7f4385b00eb">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Well he could have kept it stuck in his pants and then he won't have to worry about what she does.  Or he could abstain all together until finding someone he wants to have children with.  Or he could masturbate or he could have oral sex only.  Or....hmmm sounds like he has a lot of choices to me. 
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

    That still makes no sense to me.  Okay he's not allowed to have sex then until he's ready to reproduce, yet a woman can have sex as much as she wants since she has a way to nip it in the bud if she wants???
  • I should just follow Adamar around the place and nod in agreement.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:0b2c8b0a-8c2f-4f74-a5e9-904c2ba1a0cf">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]SIL (last story, then I'll quit bitching about her) was whining about her exH not paying enough child support. He paid $500 a month or something. She kept saying, "I can't raise two kids for that amount of money! He should have to pay more!" She was pissed when I said, "He's not supposed to pay for the whole amount. You're supposed to contribute, too<strong>." I also have a problem with women who want all their child's father's money, but don't ever want to allow the father access to the child. Unless, of course, the father is abusive</strong>.
    Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]


    This is why child support and visitation was separated a long time ago, too many using the excuse that he wasn't paying so he wouldn't get to see the kids.

    I was lucky to see my child support most months and he didnt pay for insurance at all.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:0b833f51-cfda-4d64-a5f5-254b3ef59e27">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Yes, but men and women will NEVER be completely equal in that aspect, simply because one has to carry the child and the other doesn't. <strong> In my argument, I didn't specify who gets to walk out.  I don't think EITHER parent should be able to walk out without consquences, unless both parties come to some kind of agreement.  </strong>That's why I don't think this can be compared to abortion, because the woman will always have the final say.
    Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]
    So do you think a woman should be allowed to have an abortion without the consent of the father?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:350e5633-e74b-4aeb-9ef8-7fec7af50f9e">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : So do you think a woman should be allowed to have an abortion without the consent of the father?
    Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

    Yes.
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  • The whole signing over the rights to not have to provide financially arguement is so complicated. When does a man have to sign over his rights? the day they find out she is pregnant? when the baby is born? when the child is older?
    What if he claimed to want a child, the woman wanted a child because she knew that she would have help financially raising it and he signed over the rights when the child was born? or a couple months old?
    What if the man didn't know he had a child until it was born? does he get time to figure out what he wants to do, and how would they prove if he knew or didn't know?
    And what if a man signs over his rights then changes his mind in the future? It all seems so complicated to me. I think the way it is right now is unfair, however, I think it is the best way it can be done.
  • KD, my nieces don't see their father outside of the court-ordered visitation. Even if they want to see him and he wants to see them, their mother will not allow it.

    Regarding the "love your curves" issue, I have no problem with encouraging a woman to be happy with her body. I have a problem with the "REAL women have curves and skinny girls aren't REAL WOMEN since they don't have them" line that so often accompanies the statement. 

    You can feel good about yourself without putting anyone else down. I fail to see the logic of "accept yourself, but everyone else is ugly."
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    "I wish I could have sparkly tits every single day of my life." --MUNI
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:b443c9d0-67d0-4f03-937e-bf3a67f4a660">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I hate it when people say I'd kill to be a size#.  Size numbers are so irrelevant to defning what is healthy or not healthy.  A size 10 on one person could look like a size 16 on another and a size 6 on another.
    Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.  And on that note, I wish women's clothing was sized the same was a men's.  Not only would be it easier to find clothes that actually fit, but maybe it would reduce the obsession that some women have on making themselves fit into an arbitrary size that may or may not be healthy for their individual body. </div>
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  • chelseamb11chelseamb11 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:aa9119fe-a655-44f5-bf9d-d8b2b3709cc9">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions :<strong> Absolutely!  I could not agree more.</strong>  I was arguing the point about the man because Chelsea's post said the father doesn't have a choice on whether the baby is born or not and I disagree.  Let me be clear.  Parents should financially support their children whether they are in their lives every day or not.  People who don't want kids should not fuuck and then pray for the best.  personal responsibility for all involved is the way to go IMO.  Women who get knocked up when they don't want to be are just as responsible as the sperm donor. 
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

    So why are you okay with abortion then? If you think people should keep their legs closed unless they're ready to reproduce.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:6f625f4e-4ce3-4e3b-b2d7-09dadeb14eda">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh I also didn't mean that I am bothered by people who love their curves. <strong> I just don't like being constantly told that I am unhealthy because I am the size that I am.</strong>  I don't think its right to point out how skinny I am or complain about people who are size 2, anymore than it is okay to point out how fat someone else is or complain about people who are size 10.  In my experience,society tends to have no problem telling me I am too skinny as a joke ("Eat some cake!"  Or "Ugh you are a size two?  I hate you"), but if I called someone fat or told them to lose weight, I would be a bitch.  This doesn't make sense to me.  I generally don't think anyone should be commenting on anyone else's body no matter what their size is.
    Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]

    I agree and I think this goes both ways.  I am a 12 and   I live a healthy lifestyle, just as healthy as some of my size 2 run club buddies.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:5f76e503-3525-49a3-99c2-96abfeb9b2bb">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : Yes.
    Posted by adamar15[/QUOTE]

    So mom can decide not to raise a child, without dad's consent... but dad can't do the same?
  • Also, as far as the man signing for an abortion, whose to say the girl can't just claim she doesn't know who the father is? Or have a friend sign for her saying he is the father? how can the male prove he is the father of a fetus to contest the abortion? And if it turns out to not be his, who has to raise the child?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:350e5633-e74b-4aeb-9ef8-7fec7af50f9e">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : So do you think a woman should be allowed to have an abortion without the consent of the father?
    Posted by dmiller9274[/QUOTE]

    D- I tell you this is the only argument my H and I have. We have learned to agree to disagree.

    His take on it is they both decided to have sex, you know what the consequences may be (protected or not), but men should have a decision process, whether it be abortion, adoption, or raising it.

    I have a problem with this in a few levels. One I'm forced to have a kid, and my not want to, I take all the risk. And he can just walk away, and there are plenty of men out there that owe back child support.

    And when a child is concieved, it may not be on the best of terms (married, TTC), but a one night stand, then what...I really dont know where you go from there.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_unpopular-opinions-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:97522f99-1158-410c-a561-f6899b2fdb4bPost:82a58f0c-384e-4160-bb4c-49afefb5604b">Re: Unpopular Opinions</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unpopular Opinions : I never said that was ok.  Just that I disagree with your opinion that a man should have equal choice in whether a pregnancy is aborted. 
    Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

    I wasn't saying that a man should have equal choice.  I don't think abortion is right regardless.  I don't think it's right for anyone to force a woman to have an abortion.  I said that IF people are so hung up on giving a woman a choice to choose, then a man should be allowed to walk away when he finds out she is pregnant.  I think it's a diiick move beyond belief, but I think it's hypocritical to say a woman should be able to choose whether or not to be a mother but a man can't choose whether or not to be a father.
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