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Do you guys think destination weddings are rude?

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Re: Do you guys think destination weddings are rude?

  • cevans11cevans11
    100 Comments
    Destination weddings can be rude, gift grabby, miserable affairs. 

    So can every other wedding, regardless of locale and whether or not guests have to travel. 

    As others have stated, nearly every wedding is a destination for at least some guests. Not sure about etiquette per se, but the rules of common sense remain the same: clear the location and date with your VIPs (who they are, and how many you have is a personal thing. My grandparents were not- one has advancing Alzheimer's, and won't be at my wedding in any city, and the other, I'm just not that close to) and treat your guests to a lovely time. 
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  • MoxieMickieMoxieMickie member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary
    edited October 2013

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  • beardownbchsbeardownbchs member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Holy responses!!! Thanks everyone for your input! I'm happy to get responses all across the board - now I know what to do and what not to do.

    We've talked to all of our "VIP"s and all of them would be there - with the possible exception of our grandparents. My grandma has evey intention of going, but she'll be 88 by then and may not want to travel. His grandparents will be in a similar boat so we're still deciding what to do there. Obviously we want them there so we have some more talking to do..with them, each other and our parents (my mom is insisting that my grandma would rather not be at the wedding than make us have to change our plans and I think I believe her..). Honestly the grandparents are the biggest thing for us right now.

    But if we go for it we'll be sure to have a welcome dinner, a beautiful reception with a really great dinner and things to do after for those who want to stay. 
    We will not be expecting gifts at either the wedding itself or the at home party and will not be registering. When I make a site, I'll put that somewhere in there and make sure that our families know to tell everyone that we don't want gifts. For those that come, their company and time is more than enough and since the party at home isn't a wedding, I don't see a need for gifts. 

    Thanks again ladies!!
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  • rigs32rigs32 member
    Knottie Warrior 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-you-guys-think-destination-weddings-are-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c0c31193-9b02-4011-ac86-1335711dd6b3Post:d2763265-0aa2-4297-9f74-25f4691a8ea2">Re: Do you guys think destination weddings are rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE] As others have stated, nearly every wedding is a destination for at least some guests. Not sure about etiquette per se, but the rules of common sense remain the same: clear the location and date with your VIPs (who they are, and how many you have is a personal thing. My grandparents were not- one has advancing Alzheimer's, and won't be at my wedding in any city, and the other, I'm just not that close to) and treat your guests to a lovely time. 
    Posted by cevans11[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Exactly.  What if the bride has GPs in CA and the groom has GP in FL?  They can't get married twice!  Must you get married in the location of the older or sicker GPs to not be rude?  That's crazy.

    </div>
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  • ROBINRENE5ROBINRENE5 member
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I do not think DWs are rude. 

    We are planning a DW with a casual AHR for all our guests who can not make it to the Bahamas.  When we initially thought of a DW, we didn't think anyone would want to attend because of cost - but it turns out we were very wrong and quite a few people are planning to come!  We decided to invite everyone to the Bahamas that we would have invited to a local wedding - and we also invited them all the the AHR.  As of right now, I think there are 20ish people booked for the Bahamas - we have a wonderful group of friends and family!  I'm hoping that anyone who cannot afford/doesn't want to attend DW will join us for our AHR - no gifts expected.

    Your plans sound wonderful, and as everyone has posted, be prepared that everyone invited will not make it.  You said a destination wedding is not convenient for everyone, which may be true, but more people than you may expect will want to be there for your special day!!
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