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Wedding Etiquette Forum
BritandTyson
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Bachelor Party Woes
BM says the bachelor party is a surprise and not to worry, I won't be mad at all. I'm not conviced so I call BM's GF. She tells me their plan and I throw up because I'm so upset about it.
They plan to kidnap FI take him to a city 3 hours away and have already made reservations at all the srtip clubs, plan on getting tons of booze and drugs...
I am soooo not okay with this. I'm not really comforable with strippers to begin with...but strippers in another town and a hotel room? No way!
BM's GF agrees with me and so do all the other guys' GFs. We decide that it shouldn't happen. We're all going to meet tonight to figure out what to do.
I don't really know what more to tell the guys to get our point across. Has this happened to anyone else? what did you say?
TIA for any advice! and sorry if this is long
They plan to kidnap FI take him to a city 3 hours away and have already made reservations at all the srtip clubs, plan on getting tons of booze and drugs...
I am soooo not okay with this. I'm not really comforable with strippers to begin with...but strippers in another town and a hotel room? No way!
BM's GF agrees with me and so do all the other guys' GFs. We decide that it shouldn't happen. We're all going to meet tonight to figure out what to do.
I don't really know what more to tell the guys to get our point across. Has this happened to anyone else? what did you say?
TIA for any advice! and sorry if this is long
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Bachelor Party Woes
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Married (work in progress)
It's his bachelor party - you don't really get a say. If you can't trust him then you shouldn't be with him. Get over it.
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BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
PLus I know that FI won't be okay with this. We had agreed that we both weren't big on the parties and it's just a pointless excuse to get wasted.
[QUOTE]I just hate that the guys went behind my back about it. I told them they could do whatever, but that FI should come home that night. None of the girls want their BF's etc going out of town. PLus I know that FI won't be okay with this. We had agreed that we both weren't big on the parties and it's just a pointless excuse to get wasted.
Posted by BritandTyson[/QUOTE]
Why wouldn't they "go behind your back"? Really it's none of your business what the Best Man plans.
I don't care about strippers (then again, I've been to strip clubs, so I know what goes on. I firmly believe that most women who hate strippers have no idea what they are about), but I don't like the idea of hotel room strippers. They are more like hookers.
If you trust your FI you have nothing to worry about. If he's trustworthy he won't do anything that would break your trust in him.
I do agree, though, that the drugs are a bigger deal. Are your FI's friends the type of people who do illegal drugs often? If so, and he's not into the drugs, why are these guys his closest friends?
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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I can't even go there today.
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[QUOTE]BM says the bachelor party is a surprise and not to worry, I won't be mad at all. I'm not conviced so I call BM's GF. She tells me their plan and I throw up because I'm so upset about it. They plan to kidnap FI take him to a city 3 hours away and have already made reservations at all the srtip clubs, plan on getting tons of booze and drugs... I am soooo not okay with this. I'm not really comforable with strippers to begin with...but strippers in another town and a hotel room? No way! BM's GF agrees with me and so do all the other guys' GFs. We decide that it shouldn't happen. We're all going to meet tonight to figure out what to do. I don't really know what more to tell the guys to get our point across. Has this happened to anyone else? what did you say? TIA for any advice! and sorry if this is long
Posted by BritandTyson[/QUOTE]
Stip clubs would be okay-ish for me. Are there going to be strippers at a hotel room? That would not be okay.
And drugs? Is this a normal thing for him and his buddies? If so, there's no way I'd be marrying him in the first place, and if I found that out the future of the marriage would be precarious at best right now.
I don't know how I'd approach the situation, because I've never thought about something like this happening.
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[QUOTE]This sounds like a trust issue. He can see naked people on his computer every day if he wants to.
Posted by Night_Sprite[/QUOTE]
Looking at naked people on the computer and taking a stripper's g-string off with your teeth are different.
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BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
[QUOTE]Good for you stackeye! I guess i'm a bit insecure about it and I agree with futuremrsT. I think it's gross.
Posted by BritandTyson[/QUOTE]
It's just a job. A lot of women make a good living dancing and can support their families that way. None of them want to bone your FI. They are just as much at work as I am right now.
Is there someone that I should talk to about it? or just try to let it go? That night I'm having a slumber party with a few girlfriends so I guess I wouldn't be worrying all night...
[QUOTE]I just hate that the guys went behind my back about it. I told them they could do whatever, but that FI should come home that night. None of the girls want their BF's etc going out of town.
Posted by BritandTyson[/QUOTE]
They don't have to tell you what they are doing. It has nothing to do with you. You shouldn't have pushed your way in to find out what was going on.
And really, how controlling can you be? He has to be home that night? Holy crap! I spent the night of my H's party at my parents' house so that if he and the guys wanted to come home and continue the party, they wouldn't have to worry about me being in the way.
The other girls are not your problem either. If they want their guys staying in town/coming home that night, that's their issue to deal with.
Just call me "Brothel"
And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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I would also argue that going to a strip club and taking a stripper's g-string off with your teeth are very different. If OP's FI isn't even that into strippers, I don't foresee anything like this happening. Honestly this isn't even allowed to happen at most strip clubs.
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachelor Party Woes : Looking at naked people on the computer and taking a stripper's g-string off with your teeth are different.
Posted by FutureMrsTR[/QUOTE]
This doesn't happen in strip clubs.
[QUOTE]Good for you stackeye! I guess i'm a bit insecure about it and I agree with futuremrsT. I think it's gross.
Posted by BritandTyson[/QUOTE]
I didn't say I LIKE strippers or want Mr Stack around them - i'm just saying I trust that he wouldn't disrespect me as his FI/Wife around them. You know what I mean? But I also know Mr Stack has absolutely NO interest in strip clubs.
If I had a DH who constantly went to strip clubs then it would most definitely bother me.
Strippers ok, but I would have a problem with them IN his hotel room too.
Just tell your FI, he can deal with it, not you. You will only make it worse. The BM will hate you if you turn this into something. FI can tell them he doesn't want it & he would be pissed (MY FI would be).
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But now i know that FI probably won't be able to enjoy himself because of me and him had talked about.
He's been out of town for the past 4 months and just got back a couple days ago so he didn't really have anything to do with what the guys planned.