ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS

NcsuPsych · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:3c080953-77c5-4eff-ab01-2e1cbb286ec6">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]Im still confused as to why PEOPLE ARE RUDE on here..but I never got a straight answer and wont
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

I think your perception of what 'rude' is, could be skewed. In your opinion they're rude because they disagree and voice that.

However many of us feel that the voicing of opinions is vital to this site and we take those opinions in strides as well as appreciate them.

How do you function in the real world? That's how you should function on here.

Why are you yelling?

Amt2109 · May 2011

I've never seen a person on here being downright rude.

Remember - these ladies have lives outside TK. Maybe they had a bad day. Maybe they didn't. Maybe wedding planning is stressing them out... maybe its the kids... maybe this maybe that...

Bottom line is, when they get to a post where they see that someone hasn't even bothered to look a couple threads down the list from where they've posted (because thats usually where the answer is)... its frustrating.

Amt2109 · May 2011

Plus... whats the point of sugarcoating it when maybe you'll get the wrong impression?

Sometimes its better to hear 'no, thats completely wrong' than 'weeeeelllll, thats not really right'. Less confusing, no?

stacie+luciano · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:a144cb1c-e552-4349-bb57-c94e5babb6fa">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS : I think your perception of what 'rude' is, could be skewed. In your opinion they're rude because they disagree and voice that. However many of us feel that the voicing of opinions is vital to this site and we take those opinions in strides as well as appreciate them. How do you function in the real world? That's how you should function on here. Why are you yelling?
Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]

<div>BECAUSE YELLING GETS HER POINT ACROSS</div>

BRITTANY143dsl · May 2011

no Im not saying theyre advice is rude I never once said that...but when people go on posts and reply just plan rude comments that have nothing to do with the actual post and instead they are bashing the OP it makes no sense to me... I function great in the real world because people arent as rude in the real world....people act tough online but w/e my whole point of this post was to ask why people are rude and post rude comments that give no advice or have nothing to do with the post... brutual honesty is welcomed but rude comments that have no purpose are a waste of energy

BRITTANY143dsl · May 2011

and I love the fact that you guys hounded my post telling me to look up threads when I posted about kids after I looked thru pages and didnt see anything about kids..and then someone posted the same question as me right after me but yet nobody was rude on your post and said lurk before posting...hmmm ok

stacie+luciano · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:9aed21fa-c430-4f41-8640-9b639deef0fb">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]no Im not saying theyre advice is rude I never once said that...but when people go on posts and reply just plan rude comments that have nothing to do with the actual post and instead they are bashing the OP it makes no sense to me... I function great in the real world<strong> because people arent as rude in the real world</strong>....people act tough online but w/e my whole point of this post was to ask why people are rude and post rude comments that give no advice or have nothing to do with the post... brutual honesty is welcomed but rude comments that have no purpose are a waste of energy
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

<div>Really? I know more rude people IRL than on here.</div>

BRITTANY143dsl · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:215af4ca-6765-4e01-9614-9ae7fe8a494b">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]Plus... whats the point of sugarcoating it when maybe you'll get the wrong impression? Sometimes its better to hear 'no, thats completely wrong' than 'weeeeelllll, thats not really right'. Less confusing, no?
Posted by Amt2109[/QUOTE]

I am all for brutal honesty but going on a post and commenting rude things that have nothing to do with the post makes no sense...

BRITTANY143dsl · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:43f2526c-0103-4378-b8ee-848e013ed3e6">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS : Really? I know more rude people IRL than on here.
Posted by stacie+luciano[/QUOTE]

maybe where you live? idk but people IRL that i have encountered (strangers and all) are pleasant and not rude to me ever

NcsuPsych · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:ac77788a-4ab1-4143-97f5-d5e3565a0438">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS : BECAUSE YELLING GETS HER POINT ACROSS
Posted by stacie+luciano[/QUOTE]

NO COOKIE RECIPE FOR YOU!

stacie+luciano · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:463a2ba3-8e60-4114-a6e7-d4ccd4a9401e">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS : maybe where you live? idk but people IRL that i have encountered (strangers and all) are pleasant and not rude to me ever
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

<div>I live in the South where everything is Yes Ma'am, No Sir. I have encountered some rude biitches here in Texas. </div><div>
</div><div>Like I said, I have had my share of rudeness and I got over it. You're making it seem like the internet is serious business.</div>

NcsuPsych · May 2011

Honestly OP.. your whining on here isn't making me respect you anymore nor is it making me see your side.

Just drop it and move along. Live and Learn, Live and Let go. You're simply dragging this out and it's not helping your case at all.

As other posters have said, local and month boards are typically nicer in the attitude department. International boards are different. With every board, you should lurk a while to get a feeling for the general atmosphere of that board.

If you don't like it, find another board. TK has like 100.

Options are awesome!

Amt2109 · May 2011

Brittany, I'm not seeing what you see as rude. Are you saying people are disagreeing with what other people are suggesting and being rude about it, or are you saying people are calling other people names and flaming them for no apparent reason?

Because, seriously. The *only* time I've seen the latter is with trolls, which I assume you are not.

Trolls don't usually put in this kind of effort.

Actual examples of what you are seeing as rude may be helpful here.

stacie+luciano · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:8f8175e6-e124-4143-a81c-9271b49424e6">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS : NO COOKIE RECIPE FOR YOU!
Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]

<div>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO</div><div>
</div><div>(And I read this in the NO SOUP FOR YOU guy from Sienfeld lol)</div>

mkrupar · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:91e769af-e2be-40a7-8d4e-e56072ef2948">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS : I feel sorry for my DH. . . but simply because he carried the bookbag all over the historic area and got rained on because my stupid umbrella sucks! He's taking a nap now though, so actually, I don't feel sorry for him.
Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry it rained on you all. Did you have fun otherwise?

LDYGTR13 · May 2011

MK - I got in trouble on E...did you see it? Opal got mad at me =(

ETA: Sorry, BRITTANY, I know this doesn't pertain to your OP, I hope it's okay to still talk in this thread.

smilygrl17 · May 2011

There is a search tool that you could look up keywords and find old posts, I've used it, it helps. Plus takes a lot less time than going thru pages and pages and giving up when you're on page 23 and haven't found it.

My first post on TK was about a personal situation, that looking back now, if I read it I would've thought I was a troll and made up a scenario to get people riled up. Instead, people commented, some comments I agreed with and others I didn't. Those that didn't agree with me I was upset a bit because I felt they weren't fully understanding and just not getting it. But I didn't think they were being rude, I just didn't like their response. That is life.

People aren't necessarily rude, they just speak their mind, which I think is a good thing. If you ask a question and you're only going to get one answer or lots of I agrees, you're not gonna see a different view. Also, a lot of these knotties have been here for a while and some questions are repeated all the time. I've even posted a few questions where people have responded, already answered. Don't get mad about it, take it into account and search to find it.

After another person complained about people being mean and rude I posted a quote from Mean Girls. If you don't like the responses, then maybe TK isn't for you. There are other wedding sites with boards, maybe they might be "nicer."

mkrupar · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:2a3f17e4-3687-42d1-9162-7f48bdc39c3e">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]im glad everyone realized what i said it was meant that way block IDGAF <strong>I have a real life I can live without "the knot" some of YOU veteran brides are hilarious...calling us newbies but you all where some before</strong>
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

I believe you saying you have a real life, implys that others on here don't. So yeah, you did say some don't have lives. The internet is hard for you isn't it?

LDYGTR13 · May 2011

You're not allowed to be mean, MK. You have to be nice.

mkrupar · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:bc4bb684-5a87-4f1a-82ec-f0a705161135">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]and I love the fact that you guys hounded my post telling me to look up threads when I posted about kids after I looked thru pages and didnt see anything about kids..and then someone posted the same question as me right after me but yet nobody was rude on your post and said lurk before posting...hmmm ok
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

I guarantee you you did not look through pages and didn't find a post about kids. It's asked every other freaking day around here and KIDS is almost always in the title. Since, you know, your big complaint is that people aren't clear enough in their titles. You do realize it's not that difficult to open a thread, read a couple of lines, realize it's not what you're looking for, and back out of it right?

Edited: Typos

mkrupar · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:bc4bb684-5a87-4f1a-82ec-f0a705161135">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]and I love the fact that you guys hounded my post telling me to look up threads when I posted about kids after I looked thru pages and didnt see anything about kids..and then someone posted the same question as me right after me but yet nobody was rude on your post and said lurk before posting...hmmm ok
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

People only got on you because you asked 3 or 4 questions that are asked all the freaking time. The other poster didn't.

Amt2109 · May 2011

And if we're going to be clear about post titles... did you actually reread your post titles on the E board?

Was like 'listening' to a hyper bunny. Sorry, thats just how it seemed.

mkrupar · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:4dbbd04a-b7c6-4558-9703-ee7585ea7070">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]MK - I got in trouble on E...did you see it? Opal got mad at me =( ETA: Sorry, BRITTANY, I know this doesn't pertain to your OP, I hope it's okay to still talk in this thread.
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

I saw her say something about the OP not being the only overzealous one. Did she send you a scolding PM?

LDYGTR13 · May 2011

No, but she flamed me for what I said and then I PMed her asking if I was in trouble and she said no but also said that I was mean. =( The kind of stuff I said gets said all the effing time. It made me sad. I'm SO not mean.

mkrupar · May 2011

That's a bummer LDY. You really are one of the nice ones around here. I think there was a lot of confusion. The DSL comment was a little out of character for you. I just glossed over it though.

LDYGTR13 · May 2011

Lol I guess you're right. I felt awful for making Opal mad...I've never done that before, I don't think. Bummed me out!!

trix1223 · May 2011

OP: An example of a situation and the difference between rude and honest responses. Let's pretend for a moment that you come to a board and ask "My BMs aren't planning a shower for me. Is it okay to throw one for myself?"

Rude= Oh my God. You're such a freakin' moron for thinking that it's a good idea to throw your own shower!! WTH is wrong with you. Your brains must be in your butt, because you're an idiot.

Firm but honest: No, it's a pretty egregious faux pas to throw your own shower. Don't do it. If you don't get a shower, you don't get one, but no one is obligated to throw a party in your honor.

See the difference? The responses you received were firm, but honest. They didn't necessarily validate your opinion, which is what it seemed you wanted. But they weren't rude.

And seriously, do you think that people who have been here and formed relationships over the course of a year or more are going to cry their way through a box of tissues because you're pulling a dramatic GBCK?

Here's the sad truth: you just don't matter that much.

But gosh.....lots of good luck to you.

mkrupar · May 2011

Yeah LDY you feel like you've disappointed your mom or something when a MOD gets upset with you.

cdavislynn · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:c9321f3b-f78d-4d82-b361-dac56efc736b">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]Brittany, I'm not seeing what you see as rude. Are you saying people are disagreeing with what other people are suggesting and being rude about it, or are you saying people are calling other people names and flaming them for no apparent reason? Because, seriously. The *only* time I've seen the latter is with trolls, which I assume you are not. Trolls don't usually put in this kind of effort. Actual examples of what you are seeing as rude may be helpful here.
Posted by Amt2109[/QUOTE]

I'm coming into this pretty late, but Brittany, just want to say that I have observed, in my short time on here, that when someone says something that is a bit out of line during a thread, they get called out on it. Even the regs. They are all still friends though. If someone gets a little too bitchy or offensive, someone usually points it out, there's an apology, or a clarification and everyone moves on. But no one goes and says "that's it, people are so mean, why can't we all get along.?" and quits. Ignoring comments you don't like is a much better approach. You don't need to come on here and try to "change" they way it is or tell anyone to "be nicer." You just need to better understand things, and until you do, don't get too upset by it. Chill out. Have some wine. Take a deep breath. Go lurk on another board for a few days, then come back and go with the flow. It's the internet, what did you expect?

cdavislynn · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_annoyed-rude-replies-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:71072e89-8106-4638-b3d8-aa968e906f38Post:3c080953-77c5-4eff-ab01-2e1cbb286ec6">Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS</a>:
[QUOTE]Im still confused as to <strong>why PEOPLE ARE RUDE on here</strong>..but I never got a straight answer and wont
Posted by BRITTANY143dsl[/QUOTE]

Sometimes, cynicism or sarcasm can also be interpreted as rudeness. But on here, that is called a sense of humor. If you're not someone with a sense of humor like that, then you probably shouldn't post on some of the more sarcastic boards, and don't worry about trying to change them. Just go try to fit in on a nicer board like the other ladies have suggested.

ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS

Re: ANNOYED WITH RUDE REPLIES TO POSTS

Choose Another Board

Search Boards