I'd be judged because...

katiewhompus · September 2010

And your crazy eyebrows Ang?

ricksang · September 2010

Yes, those too.

Wrkn925 · September 2010

Natesgirl- I am 5'4' and a size 12.
My grandma likes to point out I've gained weight. I like to point out that she hasn't aged very well.

I'm judged mainly for smoking. And I'm sick of it. I know the risks, I know what I'm doing, I'm of age, and I probably won't quit til some day 5 years from now when I find out I'm knocked up. Deal with it and STFU. (I do go to reasonable extremes to avoid making others deal with my habit.)

I'm judged because I work for a beer distributor, mainly by grandparent's preacher, who I GREATLY dislike anyway.

Oh, and the fella is 37, I'm 24. But he looks my age, so it isn't always a big deal.

laurynfaerie · September 2010

all sorts of reasons
i know that my bf's fam is judging because we live together before marriage
certain members of mine judge me for my tattoo, and peircings (which i've taken out for the most part)
some friends are judging the fact that we're planning on getting married in 2 years since in their opinion i'm too young, and we haven't been together long enough,
but i really don't care what anyone thinks, it's my life and if they don't like it they can take a long walk off a short peir for all i care

ETA: my lack of gainful employment bothers people.

aprovencher21 · September 2010

- my weight.....if you know its from being sick for four years its okay but I'm sure not knowing that people judge me. I'm working on it since I'm feeling better but its hard knowing I won't have my real body back before the wedding. I'm really anxious about my engagement and wedding photos.
- how much money I spend on anything
- how much I love my dogs
- that I breed dogs
- that we want 4 kids
- How I'm okay with student loan debt
- How vain I can be
- That even though I love to party I really have to be in the mood and most nights FI and I really just enjoy being home together watching movies or playing video games
- My sex drive and sexual history
- The fact that I'm conservative

I'm sure there are more

playtntsbpg30 · September 2010

People probably judge me knowing I don't work but not knowing why. They judge because I live with my parents or now my sister but they don't know the backstory. I'm sure they judge many other things too.
I know for sure a lot judge, when they hear that I have so many back problems and am so young, they say they don't believe me. Which is awful because I surely wouldn't be lying being in so much pain every day and not being able to do the simplest things.

Like you Katie, My sister does the same thing. One week we will go grocery shopping for "real" food the following will be odd's and ends and her hubby's lunches (junk food).

edit- I never dry my hair neither.
I also have oily hair, always did. I use to get picked on a lot in school because of it. I am sure instead of getting picked on now, people just past judgement of thinking I have dirty hair vs oily hair. But o well I don't stink and I know I shower and wash my hair so that is what counts.

I am sure there are many other things as well.

NatesGirl16 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:021d6a4c-2e11-4a65-9796-39a184a8ad5c">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]Natesgirl- I am 5'4' and a size 12. My grandma likes to point out I've gained weight. <strong> I like to point out that she hasn't aged very well.</strong> I'm judged mainly for smoking. And I'm sick of it. I know the risks, I know what I'm doing, I'm of age, and I probably won't quit til some day 5 years from now when I find out I'm knocked up. Deal with it and STFU. (I do go to reasonable extremes to avoid making others deal with my habit.) I'm judged because I work for a beer distributor, mainly by grandparent's preacher, who I GREATLY dislike anyway. Oh, and the fella is 37, I'm 24. But he looks my age, so it isn't always a big deal.
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]
Ha! That's awesome.

SarahPLiz · September 2010

1- My Past relationship with a married man

2- My lack of housekeeping skills (seriously)

3- I talk big talk about all the exercise i do, and its not a lie, but I always seem to self sabotage my diet so it doesn't show. So people think I lie about it.

Nebb · September 2010

I feel its so unfair how fat people are judged. I always feel judged when im out in public, when im doing anything other than working out, because I feel people looking at me as "the fat girl". I know people view fat people as lazy, disgusting, etc... but its so impossible to know how that person got there or what theyre doing to combat it or how much they may have lost recently. Its one of the biggest things that bothers me about being fat, knowing people judge me just because im fat.

aprovencher21 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:17a154d7-dbbe-4976-9ae9-435f1098b592">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel its so unfair how fat people are judged. I always feel judged when im out in public, when im doing anything other than working out, because I feel people looking at me as "the fat girl". I know people view fat people as lazy, disgusting, etc... but its so impossible to know how that person got there or what theyre doing to combat it or how much they may have lost recently. Its one of the biggest things that bothers me about being fat, knowing people judge me just because im fat.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

This exactly. No one in public knows I've been on high dose steriods and other meds for 4 years. No one knows that my blood pressure and cholesteral are low and probably healthier than a majority of them. I also run 5 miles 5-6 times a week....and kettlebell train.... but you can't tell because half the time I'm bloated from chemo or swollen from steriods. Its frustrating and hurts.

JennaV26 · September 2010

Everyone keeps talking about weight and I'm wondering if this poll counts if we judge ourselves? I'm always talking about losing weight but I haven't made any effort to do so for months. All of my friends try to tell me I look great but I think I judge my appearance more than anyone else.

SarahPLiz · September 2010

cupcakes, YGPM

Nebb · September 2010

I had a boss who openly judged me for being fat, I was constantly getting written up for "not working hard enough" and being "lazy", even though I worked my butt off. He was very open about his opinion of fat people - that they were lazy and disgusting. When I started keeping a very detailed log of everything I was doing to protect myself because I was working hard, he got mad that I was just wasting time, but I had to do it to make sure I couldnt be wrongly fired.

I think its just a serious misconception about extremely overweight people, that they are lazy and dont do anything. Its just not always true.

number55 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:9aba9109-0de5-4760-a473-fec6039c3de9">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'd be judged because... : This exactly. No one in public knows I've been on high dose steriods and other meds for 4 years. No one knows that my blood pressure and cholesteral are low and probably healthier than a majority of them. I also run 5 miles 5-6 times a week....and kettlebell train.... but you can't tell because half the time I'm bloated from chemo or swollen from steriods. Its frustrating and hurts.
Posted by aprovencher21[/QUOTE]

<div>I watched my mom go through a complete transformation from the steriods. She was a VERY slender woman and it killed her to be bloated and gain weight. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you when you are so young. That really sucks.</div>

number55 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:a6cac0de-7dfd-4c60-9c1a-6d4b1aed4739">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a boss who openly judged me for being fat, I was constantly getting written up for "not working hard enough" and being "lazy", even though I worked my butt off. He was very open about his opinion of fat people - that they were lazy and disgusting. When I started keeping a very detailed log of everything I was doing to protect myself because I was working hard, he got mad that I was just wasting time, but I had to do it to make sure I couldnt be wrongly fired. I think its just a serious misconception about extremely overweight people, that they are lazy and dont do anything. Its just not always true.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

<div>I have two coworkers who are both very large girls (and both suffer from PCOS) and they are both in amazing shape, have run 10k races and one of them is a goodlife instructor. But to look at them, you wouldn't know it and I know people presume they are out of shape. </div><div>
</div><div>I am not in awesome shape but I ran 5k this year and I can hold my own at the gym. I certainly lift more weight than the chicks who do bicep curls with 5 pound weights or lat pull downs with three plates hooked on. </div>

SarahPLiz · September 2010

I agree with you Nebb. When I go to triathlons, a majority of the women competing would be classified as overweight (including me).

I do have some contempt for overweight people who don't attempt to do anything about it, or realize how unhealthy it is, just because I work so hard at not being overweight and I still am. However, for that same reason, I never judge anyone because I DON"T know what their situation is, and I don't presume to.

I am the healthiest person in my family on all accounts except for weight, but I look like the unhealthiest. I'd beat both of my sisters and step sisters in any athletic endeavor, no doubt, but you wouldn't know that from looking at me, and its really frucking frustrating!

SarahPLiz · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:802e0378-ccdc-4ab9-80c9-03d9a8d572ad">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]Scott is 10 years older than me, but surprisingly I haven't seen a lot of judgement. I think just because he looks younger and I look older, so most people assume we're both just in our late 20's. We did get a major side eye when we first applied for a home loan though and put in 1973 and 1984 as our birthdays. The lender was like "Um, just to double check, that's 73 and 84 correct?" <strong>I never ever dry my hair. I actually don't even own a hair dryer. It's really long and thick and would take forever, and just frizzes.</strong>
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't either. I comb it and then open the sunroof on my way to work. That is one good thing about having really short hair, I guess. </div>

cupcakesfrosting · September 2010

Sarah, YGPM back..

MarriedInAFever · September 2010

Many of our concerns are similar.

--weight
--political views and affiliations
--the stories I write and have written
--getting married and settling

NatesGirl16 · September 2010

The weight thing always gets me because I can't stand how people are free to judge weight and feel like it has no consequences. No one has a problem giving a large person a dirty look if they eat something unhealthy and that's so insulting. Like everyone else has said, you don't know their story and, regardless, who gives a fuuck? I could care less what someone else looks like or why. It's so insulting that people feel like larger people are open game for insults.

SarahPLiz · September 2010

Right back atcha cupcakes

NatesGirl16 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:a6cac0de-7dfd-4c60-9c1a-6d4b1aed4739">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a boss who openly judged me for being fat, I was constantly getting written up for "not working hard enough" and being "lazy", even though I worked my butt off. He was very open about his opinion of fat people - that they were lazy and disgusting. When I started keeping a very detailed log of everything I was doing to protect myself because I was working hard, he got mad that I was just wasting time, but I had to do it to make sure I couldnt be wrongly fired. I think its just a serious misconception about extremely overweight people, that they are lazy and d ont do anything. Its just not always true.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

This type of shiit makes me murderous.

cupcakesfrosting · September 2010

I think a lot of it is personal judgement. I judge myself, because I would rather have a bag of Dorito's than an apple. But that's a choice that I have to make. Sometimes, I choose the chips, most of the time, I choose the apple. But I always PREFER the chips. I gave up soda and lost 3 lbs. 3. That's it. From 2-3 soda's a day, to 1 a month, I lost 3 lbs. That was very disheartening. I'm also really anemic, so I try to eat as much protein as I can. And I hate Spinach, so I eat more meat than veggies. FI gave up meat, and he lost 10 lbs. It just sucks..

katiewhompus · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:1d03f398-4a90-401d-9393-252521c17d44">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]I think a lot of it is personal judgement. I judge myself, because I would rather have a bag of Dorito's than an apple. But that's a choice that I have to make. Sometimes, I choose the chips, most of the time, I choose the apple. But I always PREFER the chips. I gave up soda and lost 3 lbs. 3. That's it. From 2-3 soda's a day, to 1 a month, I lost 3 lbs. That was very disheartening. I'm also really anemic, so I try to eat as much protein as I can. And I hate Spinach, so I eat more meat than veggies. FI gave up meat, and he lost 10 lbs. It just sucks..
Posted by cupcakesfrosting[/QUOTE]

This is me lately. When I first started losing weight I gave up sodas and counted calories and lost about 10 pounds in 3 months. Now I've been stuck at the same thing for 6 months. I quit about 3 weeks ago because I hit that point of "It doesn't work so why should I bother." I started up again yesterday but I'm not nearly as excited as I was a year ago.

aprovencher21 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:161f4c54-5cad-42bb-af86-ea8e38b438fa">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'd be judged because... : I watched my mom go through a complete transformation from the steriods. She was a VERY slender woman and it killed her to be bloated and gain weight. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you when you are so young. That really sucks.
Posted by number55[/QUOTE]

I was never slender but I was curvy and fit. I always felt like I could stand to lose five lbs but I think that was more my body issues. I was toned and atheletic. This body kills me. Especially since I eat right. I think that the most depressing thing......I wish I got this way from eating what I wanted!! Not to say I don't occasionally splurge but I make a huge effort to eat low calorie and healthy. Its exhausting. I'm sorry end rant.

Nebb · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_id-judged-because?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c2fa3a67-ae3d-488e-ba2d-b6abef1aaf1cPost:b8828ccc-8de8-4fe4-a555-cd6d849449a8">Re: I'd be judged because...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'd be judged because... : This is me lately. When I first started losing weight I gave up sodas and counted calories and lost about 10 pounds in 3 months. Now I've been stuck at the same thing for 6 months. I quit about 3 weeks ago because I hit that point of "It doesn't work so why should I bother." I started up again yesterday but I'm not nearly as excited as I was a year ago.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
Were in the same boat, once again! I just cant get the motivation I once had. I plateaued and then lost interest and now have started gaining a bit back. I had a talk with my husband tonight about really keeping on my ass to keep me in line - not letting me eat junk, making sure I work out. I wont do it if I dont have someone keeping me accountable.

aprovencher21 · September 2010

Nebb.....what your boss did makes me vicious. That sort of crap should never be allowed. People suck.

saisongbird · September 2010

- My weight.

- The fact that I've been dieting for over a year and a half, and that even though I've lost 30lbs, I need to lose more.

- I love to eat and bake, even though I'm dieting.

- How much we spent on the wedding, even though it's average around here.

- That I'd love to be a SAHM, even though I'm good at my job. I hate getting up early to go to work.

- That I'm immensely jealous of my best friend. She and her DH make so much more than we do, more out of luck than anything else, and that she and her DH pay 1/3 the rent that we do because they're technically living in their co-op illegally.

pixiedust84 · September 2010

*joining in*

I'm with you girls. I get so frustrated at how focused society is on weight instead of health. Yes you should try to be healthy but healthy doesn't look the same for everybody. Well someone may be healthy at 100 pounds someone else might be just as healthy at 200 pounds. It's incredibly frustrating.

I know that I'm healthy and eat right and work out but I can't help but feel self conscious about my weight. What is up with that?? I just wanted to say I totally hear you and get the frustration. My future SIL is tiny and I get so frustrated because she's the "athletic one" - um hi? I dance and run and just climbed a huge freaking mountain but get no props for being athletic because I'm not tiny. BOO.

LP11509 · September 2010

I'm judged for not answering people when they speak to me, or answering with something completely off topic. And for my "lispy" speech. But what people don't usually realize is that this is all because I'm deaf. Most people seem to assume that I'm either some kind of dumb airhead, or too stuck up to talk to them.

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