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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Did you spend the night together?

If you and your FI lived together (or not, I guess it doesn't really matter), did you spend the night before your wedding together? Why or why not? I'm too dumb to make a clicky poll and I have no reason for asking other than idle curiosity.
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Re: Did you spend the night together?

  • We didn't. I stayed at my mom's house and he had a hotel room by himself or with his brother...I don't remember.

    I'm not sure why. Just seemed like what we should do.
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  • We aren't spending the night together. It will be hard to do since I am so use to him next to me at night and the anticipation of the next day, but I can hope I fall asleep rather early under the circumstances.
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  • We did. I thought it was silly to not spend the night before together.
  • We haven't gotten there yet, but I don't intend to do so. We'll be down at the shore with beach houses, so it will be pretty easy to split up. Why? Tradition, I guess.
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  • Sort-of. If you count him coming home about 6am from his Bach Party and us sleeping together for about an hour before I got up, then yes.
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  • We lived together already.  But we decided not to spend the night before together, mostly because I wanted to hang out with my 3 best friends (who were flying in from different places, so I wanted to spend extra time with them.).  So he stayed with his dad and me and the girls ordered pizza and drank wine.  It was one of my favorite parts of the weekend- besides getting married, of course.
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  • Yep.  We had rented out a B&B for the wedding and there were just enough rooms for us and the immediate family.
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  • I kind of didn't want to spend it together anyway, and I mentioned that to my mom and she was all "ZOMG OF COURSE YOU CAN'T SPEND THE NIGHT BEFORE YOUR WEDDING TOGETHER." This, from the most non traditional woman I can come up with.
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  • FI and I have lived together for the last 7 years, we have been together 7 and a half. We are not spending the night before together, for one thing I think it will be fun for him to hang with his guys one last time as a single man and then us girls can finish up any last minute things!! Secondly, I know my MOH does a much better job listening to me stress and babble than anyone else in the world and she will calm me down!!
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  • We won't be, but that will be because we don't live together.  I'm not sure if we would or not if we were living together.  I wouldn't want him to see me getting into my wedding dress and all that, but I'm not sure I'd go so far as to not see him at all the night before or the morning of.


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  • edited October 2010
    Nope, he went to another bedroom in the beachouse. I begged him to stay with me,(even though it was my idea we separate), but he refused and I didn't see him till I walked into the chapel.

    Looking back I'm glad he left.
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  • We lived together and we didn't spend the night before together for a couple of reasons:

    1.  My mom wanted me to stay with her.

    2.  I had to get up early to show my aunt the ceremony space because she was decorating and the hotel where my mom was staying was a mile away from the ceremony site whereas our house was 45 min away.

    3.  I wanted to be at least a little traditional even though we were living in sin :)

    I wish we HAD stayed together, though.  My mom's snoring kept me up all.freaking.night.  I seriously slept maybe 4 hours, it totally sucked.
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  • edited October 2010
    We didn't, but we planned to.  His gm's surprised (kidnapped?) him with a hotel and night out before the wedding so he stayed there. 
  • No, because one of my bridesmaids is driving up from MD, and I'm splitting the cost of the hotel room with her so she doesn't have to pay for it all herself.  He's going to go spend some extra time with his little brother and his groomsmen that night, and they're all staying at his parents' house.  Plus I have to get up early to get my hair done, and his parents live forty-five minutes from the hairstylist, so it makes more sense to just stay close.
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  • We didn't. Partly because it seemed like a fun little tradition to have the whole wedding day apart and waiting to see each other and partly because I wanted to have a girly night with my 3 BFFs who'd flown from the US. I stayed at home with them, and he went to a GM's house.
  • We did. It was much easier. We got married at a cabin out in BFE while the family stayed at a hotel. It was easier for us to stay there with our MOH, and the best man and his wife, since we had to get up early to set things up. But we'd never planned on being apart anyway. We lived together for about 3 years before that so it seemed pointless.
  • FI and I live together and I imagine we'll be spending the night before the wedding together.  We're seeing each other before the ceremony anyway to do pictures.  I actually haven't put much thought into it because I don't really care either way, and I also have a lot of time left.
  • We did not.  I stayed at a fancy hotel with 3 of my bridesmaids the night before and he stayed home.  Why?  Tradition, and because I thought it would be fun.
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  • we were at our house the night before, got up together and all got ready together (my H, me, my MOH and my mom).  but we were plannign to see each other before and do all our pics before, so it just made sense.  i never would have paid for one of us to stay somewhere else.

  • We did not.  He spent the night at his grandparents where they were getting ready and doing pictures for the wedding.  I stayed at my parents house and my BF stayed the night with me and decided to sleep with me since thats what we did all growing up.  It was cute.  But before that we went to my aunts next door for wine and snacks, and a lot of my aunts, cousins, and BMs showed up so it was alot of fun.
    H and I were both very traditional on not spending the night and not seeing eachother until the ceremony. 
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  • Yep, we did.  No way were we wasting our expensive penthouse suite!
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  • We did spend the night together, actually at my parent's house. He was originally supposed to spend the night at his brother's house; but a few days before we found out that his brother had also invited most of their extended family to stay there. There were 10+ people in a 2 bedroom house. We decided he would get a much better night's sleep if he stayed somewhere else, and didn't want to spend the extra money for a hotel room. My parents were surprisingly understanding. All they asked was that he got out the door as soon as he woke up in the morning, so he wasn't around when I got back from our hair appointments.

    I also liked that my dad made him a big breakfast, so I know he ate well. More than I can say for myself that day! LOL!
  • We didn't.  We both agreed we wanted to stick with tradition and not see each other on the wedding day until I walked down the aisle.   The night before the wedding, we had the RD and then met up with friends who came in from oot.  We went to a bar and had a great time.  I set myself a midnight curfew and I stuck to it.  So I went and stayed the night at my parent's house and left my H with his Best Man and some of the guys and they went back to BM's house (who is also his cousin).  He stayed there.  We didn't see each other on the wedding day until I walked down the aisle.
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  • we aren't spending the night together - i will be at the hotel suite with the girls and he and the guys will be at his parents house....he is kinda traditional that way - he also does not want to see me until I come down the aisle.
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  • No. We both wanted to see each for the first time that day when I came down the aisle. I stayed at a hotel with my sister and he stayed at his mom's house. It was a traditional thing that we really wanted to do.
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  • We did live together, but we didn't spend the night before together.  We did want to be "traditional," but he also wanted to spend some time with his groomsmen who are all from out of town.  He doesn't see them often, so he stayed at the hotel with them the night before. 
  • Groomswoman Extraordinaire has decided that he's staying with her that night. THat's cool with me. I'll be by myself or with my little sister at my house, in my bed. I sleep better by myself anyway because he fidgets. 
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  • We did spend the night before together.  We were planning all along to make different arrangements, and then it was just kind of an, "Eh, I don't care." It was nice to have him there with me in the morning, and take me to my hair appointment (we only had the one borrowed car) and drive up together.  Probably took a lot of the nerves out of the way for me.
  • We slept in the same house but not in the same bed.  He went out with his son and some friends the night before for a bachelor party and I stayed home with my mom who was in town for the wedding.  We watched Law and Order reruns after cleaning and vacuuming.  H ended up sleeping on the couch.
  • I guess I am the different one here. The first night FI and I will spend together will be the wedding night. 
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