Whoa.

Habs2Hart · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:4e48e69d-e49f-44e0-ba57-5c5c62672d3a">Re: Whoa.</a>:
[QUOTE]Whoa.
Posted by LDYGTR13[/QUOTE]

<3

FutureMrsFezz · April 2011

:slowly back out of thread: I thought Joey was in here.

crlewis803 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:1ed7e0a1-dd21-44a1-b5f0-3a732527be4c">Whoa.</a>:
[QUOTE] All of my friends and family think it is wrong, so I can do nothing else but not care what complete selfish strangers think. Step back and take a look at it through someone elses eyes. Think of how you would feel if this was your day.
Posted by TrevorMandy[/QUOTE]

I'd feel extremely sorry for her (rushed and pressured circumstances) and enjoy my own day. It wouldn't matter because that is future family and I would help all that I could. If the tables were turned, I'd get married ASAP because I've already bought my dress and I don't want a baby bump or have to buy a new one. It is a day.

Habs2Hart · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:4042114a-b941-4f2d-9796-efafe7f5794b">Re: Advice Needed! Sister in law having wedding before mine!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Advice Needed! Sister in law having wedding before mine! : I had a hurricane hit on my wedding day. Oh and it was a beach wedding. Still had a smile on my face though.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

You mean... the hurricane had the balls to come on YOUR SPECIAL DAY?

Emily had an earthquake happen that did a lot of damage too.

Shiit happens. It's life.

andy71781 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:6ef8cb2f-fc00-417c-a056-83bf5aa81962">Re: Whoa.</a>:
[QUOTE]:slowly back out of thread: I thought Joey was in here.
Posted by FutureMrsFezz[/QUOTE]

cqtm

LDYGTR13 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:6ef8cb2f-fc00-417c-a056-83bf5aa81962">Re: Whoa.</a>:
[QUOTE]:slowly back out of thread: I thought Joey was in here.
Posted by FutureMrsFezz[/QUOTE]

HE IS!! HE'S ON PAGE 1!!!!

Meg1979 · April 2011

Actually, my wedding did pretty much go off without a hitch the day of, so there. :-P

Seriously, though, the PPs were not rude.

lyndausvi · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:da41a8c2-fb62-4278-98eb-f199d9e620c3">Re: Advice Needed! Sister in law having wedding before mine!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Advice Needed! Sister in law having wedding before mine! : You mean... the hurricane had the balls to come on YOUR SPECIAL DAY? Emily had an earthquake happen that did a lot of damage too. Shiit happens. It's life.
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

<div>Gets better. We choose to have the wedding in NEW JERSEY to avoid hurricanes in St Thomas. So much for that plan</div>

GeauxTigers17 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:6a0a79a2-ba1c-4645-ad1f-11d90c5358a8">Re: Whoa.</a>:
[QUOTE]Now I ended up in a VERY similar situation to you. My younger (and much less mature brother) got engaged right before I did. However, I was supposed to get married 3 months before they way. Then she ended up pregnant and they got married really quickly. They had a two person + the JOP wedding, so I didn't have to "compete" wtih them. But I was definitely upset at the way the whole thing went down. Especially when my SIL says things to me like "Isn't it funny how you were supposed to get married before us and we got married first? Isn't it funny how we're having the first grandchild?" No joke, that is what she said to me verbatim at my bridal shower. Anyway, you have a right to be upset, not only for yourself, but for your guests. However, I think that you must be the bigger person in this. Your guests have probably known about yours for a much longer time than theirs. Yours will probably be much different, too. Really, try to brush it off.
Posted by MattsPenguin[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Dontcha love that "isn't it funny" line? There's a girl in law school with me who uses this CONSTANTLY when she disagrees with you. "Isn't it funny how you say X, and everyone else says Y?"</div><div>
</div><div>I always want to respond "isn't it funny how you don't have the guts to just come out and say what you're thinking when you're upset about something?" but I never do. Instead I just reply "uh, huh, sure is funny!" and walk off. I can see how that wouldn't work with a sister in law, though. She sounds like a piece of work.

</div>

KateG528 · April 2011

So we are selfish for trying to get you to think about the feelings of a scared pregnant teenage girl who's life is about to change forever because you want validation for your bratty, self absorbed, childish comments? Mmkay, it must be opposite day.

SilverLining1 · April 2011

I can't believe how selfish YOU'RE being. I don't see how her getting married affects your wedding at all.

1) Guests will be more likely to come to yours if not both, because they've known about it longer.

2) If her wedding is being "slapped together" and yours is much more elaborate, why does it matter? She's clearly not going to one-up you (not that you should be concerned about that anyway).

She didn't pick her date to try to spite you. She picked what works for her under her unusual circumstances. You are being incredibly selfish, especially since you're dealing with soon to be family. Life goes on, honey. No one is going to be fawning over your wedding for a month before or a month after except for you. And btw, no one here is going to tell you that you're right. You know, since you wanted all of us to say that she should gtfo and get her own decade to have a wedding.

MattsPenguin · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:c8b4ebf7-e2cb-4ae1-9e52-0f9b195a6866">Re: Whoa.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Whoa. : Dontcha love that "isn't it funny" line? There's a girl in law school with me who uses this CONSTANTLY when she disagrees with you. "Isn't it funny how you say X, and everyone else says Y?" I always want to respond "isn't it funny how you don't have the guts to just come out and say what you're thinking when you're upset about something?" but I never do. Instead I just reply "uh, huh, sure is funny!" and walk off. I can see how that wouldn't work with a sister in law, though. She sounds like a piece of work.
Posted by GeauxTigers17[/QUOTE]

I had no idea how to respond. I wanted to say "Isn't it funny how you have no money? Isn't it funny how you said that you were on the pill and using condoms yet you still got pregnant? Isn't it funny how FI and I have been doing the same thing for four years and have yet to have a baby?"

Yeah, I'm trying my hardest here, but she (and her lack of maturity and grasp of reality) make it very difficult.

midgetthemighty · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:a30ec645-0fc3-4c9e-83ac-5b0041d2cbe7">Re: Whoa.</a>:
[QUOTE]So we are selfish for trying to get you to think about the feelings of a scared pregnant teenage girl who's life is about to change forever because you want validation for your bratty, self absorbed, childish comments? Mmkay, it must be opposite day.
Posted by KateG528[/QUOTE]

LOVE <3

FutureMrsFezz · April 2011

OMFG LDY. I totally missed Joey. WHOA

pantherRN · April 2011

OP, you really should take the other's advice and take a step back and look at the situation from her perspective.

And I also agree with Mica, you could be worrying over nothing

RobotLegs · April 2011

cengle · April 2011

I always miss the good threads.

OP: I understand being briefly upset. Fine. But I think everyone else has covered it pretty well--this poor girl is 18, pregnant and about to get married. I seriously doubt she has evil motives or did any of this to spite you. Even if you're somewhat upset, there's really nothing you can do about it.

What exactly were you expecting coming in here? What type of reaction were you looking for? I'm honestly curious here.

mari0225 · April 2011

there's nothing you can do about it. A friend of mine who's dated her FI A LOT less than i've been with mine, got engaged before me and they put down their date as the same date as mine. They still make digs to me about my having changed it, and they are a lot older than 18, but I was the bigger person and now i'm getting married a month later, at the end of the day you're marrying the man you love. Whether it's in a church, courthouse, barn, field. Who got married first just does not matter.

At the end of the day all that matters is you and your future hubby, and you can spend the rest of your lives together. The wedding day is just that, it's one day.

FutureMrsFezz · April 2011

Tikibot I think I almost shot soda out of my nose just a minute ago.

Habs2Hart · April 2011

Mari... why do you need 2 tickers that say the same thing? Just curious...

RobotLegs · April 2011

Sorry about that Fezz! Hold in the soda!

Rosie109 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:b8c073e6-5764-4ba1-af6c-dab6bd8e72af">Re: Whoa.</a>:
[QUOTE]Tikibot I think I almost shot soda out of my nose just a minute ago.
Posted by FutureMrsFezz[/QUOTE]

I see a good case here for assault with a deadly weapon. LAWYER UP.

FutureMrsFezz · April 2011

Where's Dolla Dolla Bills, Yall when I need her?

Rosie109 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:f58258d4-09d3-4e30-a10d-1d11fa65328e">Re: Whoa.</a>:
[QUOTE]Where's Dolla Dolla Bills, Yall when I need her?
Posted by FutureMrsFezz[/QUOTE]

Probably off being all beautiful and shiit. Don't worry I can stand in I have watched a ton of Law and Order, Kiki is going down!

georgia_bride09 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:3d7abcb5-807c-466d-82fb-f85ceca103ec">Re: Whoa.</a>:
[QUOTE]Mari... why do you need 2 tickers that say the same thing? Just curious...
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

Maybe because they're FREE!!!!

TrevorMandy · April 2011

Ya you get what Im saying. Thank you. All I wanted was for someone to understand where I am coming from. It is hard. And no one knows because no one else has experienced this. My fiances parents also think that she get pregnant ON PURPOSE to a) get married before her older brother and b)Keep her bf in a relationship thats falling apart. Same thing in the sense that she is all happy about everything, and how her life is going. She is extremely pleased, not scared, that she is pregnant and getting married before her older brother.

georgia_bride09 · April 2011

Yep, I'm sure she got pregnant totally on purpose. You caught her!!

FutureMrsFezz · April 2011

Well now I wouldn't say NO ONE ELSE has experienced anything like that. But whatever.

Rosie thanks for standing in for my MIA lawyer. I need a dollar sign signal.
But for now

MissKate2011 · April 2011

OP - I'm really sorry that you're going through this. Wait a few weeks and you'll see that it won't be such a big deal after all. I know that right now you're upset but eventually you'll realize it's not that much of a big deal.

This is your soon to be family, try to get over it as soon as possible so it doesn't affect your relationship. You will be spending the rest of you life with these people!

Good luck

Rosie109 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_advice-needed-sister-law-having-wedding-before-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d6423f3-a39d-4498-a94c-e7122da03890Post:2ce2d76e-6a66-4b59-b2e2-a8d88afc32c3">Re: Whoa.</a>:
[QUOTE] Ya you get what Im saying. Thank you. All I wanted was for someone to understand where I am coming from. It is hard. And no one knows because no one else has experienced this. My fiances parents also think that she get pregnant ON PURPOSE to a) get married before her older brother and b)Keep her bf in a relationship thats falling apart. Same thing in the sense that she is all happy about everything, and how her life is going. She is extremely pleased, not scared, that she is pregnant and getting married before her older brother.
Posted by TrevorMandy[/QUOTE]

What are you most upset about? Explain to me why you are so upset that she will be getting married before you. Are you afraid that people are going to judge you because she got married first? Are you afraid people are going to compare your wedding to hers? What are you so afraid of?

Actually.. write down all of that shiit and burn it because it really really doesn't matter. Regardless of the circumstances or situations, you are still getting married no matter who is getting married before you and no matter who is getting married after you. Just focus on your wedding and your relationship and provide support and love to her because she is going to need it.

This isn't brain rockets :)

Whoa.

Re: Whoa.

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