Announcing your scheduled C-section on facebook

smw42 · May 2010

A friend of FI just posted on facebook that she's going in for her c-section today to have her baby. She had this planned for months. I just disagree with this on so many levels. I'm a strong believer in natural births (unless there are outlying complications). You should not be scheduling your baby's birth. And to top it off- announcing it on facebook. UGH!

goaliegirl · May 2010

doesn't surprise me, people post the craziest stuff on FB sometimes, and that is pretty tame. But, maybe there is a reason she is having a C-section that you don't know about.

Reilly626 · May 2010

My friend in going thru IVF and announces how many eggs are cultivated/fertilized.

Just Jen · May 2010

how she chooses to have her baby is your business how ...?

smw42 · May 2010

It became my business when she broadcasted it on the internet.

uppereastgirl · May 2010

Eh. It doesn't offend me. I'm no birthing expert, but I'm pretty sure that not everyone can have a natural birth, and not all natural births are unscheduled. Also, it isn't my business whether someone has a c-section or a natural birth -- they and their doctors can make that decision. I'm sure the doctor wouldn't allow it unless it was medically appropriate and the baby was fully cooked. And sometimes people will know ahead of time that they'll need a c-section (my mother knew it all along when she was pregnant with me that she couldn't have a natural birth... I don't think that makes her an evil birth scheduler?).

I've had a few friends post things like "The baby will be here by Friday!" and then on that Friday "Today's the day!" because they knew ahead of time that they would be induced no later than a certain date, because that's what was safe for baby and mom. I think most family and friends are interested in knowing when the baby is going to come, so I see facebook as a good way to spread the word to everyone.

I think announcing that it is a c-section may border on oversharing, but on the other hand it is something that seems like a pretty common detail to share with friends, family, etc. I also wonder sometimes why someone about to give birth has the time to be on facebook, but then again, I got an email from my sister about something random/casually mentioning that the birth was imminent about 20 minutes before I got an email from her saying "Baby arrived!" with all the relevant statistics. Which, ew, but I think people are just really wired nowadays, and some people can't put down their Blackberries.

Just Jen · May 2010

No it does not. Still her body. Do what you want with your own body. I'm an adult capable of making decisins about my own, thank you very much.

DS0305 · May 2010

I've actually seen much worse on facebook! Some people get a little too personal.

But this just reminds me of someone at work. I didn't work with her, but she worked with the woman who sat next to me. She was in the delivery room and kept calling in to work to make sure certain stuff was getting done. I'm just sitting there like OMG just go have your baby and quit worrying about work.

smw42 · May 2010

Uppereast I think you hit it right on- I was shocked to see that on facebook but you're right that it's how people share with their friends/family. Just a bit of an overshare IMO.

connor24 · May 2010

Alot of people have C-Sections for many reasons and can't have a natural childbirth. Their OB is not going to give them a C-Section just for the heck of it, so obviously there is a reason why is she is getting one .

uppereastgirl · May 2010

There was a post on I think Money Matters on the Nest a few weeks ago that I think is much clearer oversharing. MMer's friend had a blog about her pregnancy and then her birth. Not only were pictures of the water birth shared, but the blogger also wrote that the midwife recommended sex after birth for some reason or another, so she and her husband had sex right after. *THAT* is oversharing. And there was an update a few days later that she *somehow* got an infection down there shortly thereafter. Awesome.

smw42 · May 2010

Wow. Uppereast have you seen the Business of Being Born? Whenever I hear waterbirth that's what comes to mind.

demarcosjd · May 2010

I agree some people go overboard with their FB updates. I took a bunch of friends off of getting updates from them because it was so annoying. However I do have to agree that there could another reason why she has a scheduled C-section. I had a friend who recently had a baby that needed a schedule C-section. The baby was just too big and the Dr. advised not to go natural.

uppereastgirl · May 2010

I haven't seen that (but I actually would like to catch a rerun), but a laserdisc (!) that we watched in anatomy class in high school about a water birth still makes me shudder when I think about it. Definitely not a pretty sight.

akmackay · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_announcing-scheduled-c-section-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:ed196358-d667-463f-aaad-809421ecb4adPost:1c2bf74a-766e-43d8-a435-bfdc207223ed">Re: Announcing your scheduled C-section on facebook</a>:
[QUOTE]There was a post on I think Money Matters on the Nest a few weeks ago that I think is much clearer oversharing. MMer's friend had a blog about her pregnancy and then her birth. Not only were pictures of the water birth shared, but the blogger also wrote that the midwife recommended sex after birth for some reason or another, so she and her husband had sex right after. *THAT* is oversharing. And there was an update a few days later that she *somehow* got an infection down there shortly thereafter. Awesome.
Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

eww.

Julephenia · May 2010

I feel like the C-section is oversharing, as well. On the other hand, saying, "Baby So and So is on his/her/its way!" isn't so bad.

I have my own opinions on birth and motherhood here in the states (we DO have the highest rate of non-medically dictated C-sections in the world, I believe), but since I am not planning on having kids any time soon, I don't spread them around.

On the other hand, a very dear friend of mine had to go through so much more medical intervention than she wanted, because she very nearly lost the baby twice, and to save both of them, they pulled Baby at 29 weeks. Said Baby is now nearly 2 and quite the cutie. So, yeah, each situation is different.

diamondx423 · May 2010

lmao! people post the best things on fb...

today FIs little sister announced she and her 18 year old hubby are trying to get pregnant. he must have some good swimmers since he's stationed in california and she's living with her parents in maryland!

mbcdefg · May 2010

I have a FB friend (someone I knew through school - we were friendly but not "friends") who kept posting statuses on how she and her H were having trouble conceiving. Then posts about how they were going through IVF. Then multiple posts about her pregnancy every day.

She just had the baby recently. Posted when her water broke and they were headed to the hospital. Posted from the bed as to how many centimeters she was dialated. Posted when she was about to start pushing. Posted after the baby arrived with multiple photos. Posted the next day about how he passed his exams and that he'd been circumsized.

Yeah.

diamondx423 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_announcing-scheduled-c-section-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:ed196358-d667-463f-aaad-809421ecb4adPost:f1aa954c-56bd-4113-9680-cf5cb6fe8ea4">Re: Announcing your scheduled C-section on facebook</a>:
[QUOTE] Posted when her water broke and they were headed to the hospital. Posted from the bed as to how many centimeters she was dialated. Posted when she was about to start pushing. Posted after the baby arrived with multiple photos. Posted the next day about how he passed his exams and that he'd been circumsized. Yeah.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

This is when the "hide" feature works wonders.

NJ Jen · May 2010

I can agree with you on oversharing, but not on your flippant disregard for her medical decisions. Unless you've examined her yourself, of course.

And for the record, I have given birth twice, with one C-section. Care to pass judgment?

DMLJ · May 2010

I disagree with scheduled c-sections unless medically necessary but I can understand why she posted it-- she was excited and wanted to tell the world! As some people have illustrated- it could be much much worse!

tinydancer842 · May 2010

I had a "friend" post that she was pregnant the second she found out (which was very early on) then about how she miscarried....TMI....I deleted her after that since we aren't close at all.

They just had an article in app.com about how 48% of NJ births are c-section but only 15% were medically necessary. Basically, dr's like saying okay on x date at x time Sarah will have a baby & I can be out in time for dinner with my wife.

Personally, I don't see a problem with it. I was a c-section baby (medically necessary as I was breach) & FI was as well (b/c his mom had a c-section with his brother). Personally, labor just scares the crap out of me & makes me not want to have kids.

NJ Jen · May 2010

And since we don't know if FB poster is in that 15% or not, others who aren't in the decision making circle should pass judgment.

And I agree with you - far too common.

tinydancer842 · May 2010

When someone posts something personal on FB I think you can pass judgment at that point lol

allforyou · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_announcing-scheduled-c-section-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:ed196358-d667-463f-aaad-809421ecb4adPost:e3f02e48-1a78-4a55-8c99-5c58adbc9a21">Re: Announcing your scheduled C-section on facebook</a>:
[QUOTE]Alot of people have C-Sections for many reasons and can't have a natural childbirth. Their OB is not going to give them a C-Section just for the heck of it, so obviously there is a reason why is she is getting one .
Posted by connor24[/QUOTE]

umm, you might want to do a little research about that. plenty of people get c-sections that do NOT need them.

jchristel · May 2010

I know nothing about this stuff, so I have to ask- what's so wrong with having a C section? Are you saying this because of the potential risks or are there other reasons?

Julephenia · May 2010

C-sections used to be reserved for emergencies only - breach, sick mother, sick baby, etc., etc.

C-sectiosns are MASSIVE operations that can permanently damage your body, not to mention most women are told to avoid natural birth after a C-section, as the healed tissue can't take the strain. C-sections are also hugely traumatic to baby AND mother in so many ways.

It can certainly save lives (as I posted above with my friend), but when people start scheduling C-sections from the moment they get pregnant, just because they want the baby to fit into a schedule (which is terribly common)... yeah. Not so good.

I'm just going off of what I've been told... I'm sure there's lots of info out there about it.

smw42 · May 2010

Thank you Julephenia- well said and I 100% agree.

cateyes624 · May 2010

It sounds to me like she is just excited to finally be done being pregnant and meet her little baby.

So answer this the day you get married are you going to write on facebook today is the day! or something to imply you are getting married on that day?

I am sure you will, and while you think her stating about her c-section is over sharing, other people may feel the same about you. Since it is not one of your friends and it is FI's how do you know it's not medically necessary? Aren't you passing judgement?

DMLJ · May 2010

THANK YOU Julephenia! A C-Section is MAJOR surgery with MAJOR drugs to numb you. After having a child the natural way, you can get up, use the bathroom normally, hold your baby... but a c-section requires a significant amount of recovery!

I don't get how you can be scared of labor and not be scared of having your entire stomach cut open.

Once again, when medically necessary there is definitely a place for it, but women are designed in such a way that we do not need to have our babies cut out of us because it fits better in our "plans".

I SOOOO don't understand elective c-sections and why any drs think this is a good idea, except for selfish reasons (Gotta make that Tee Time!!)

tinydancer842 · May 2010

I think my issue is that many women still need to get stiches down there too...ugh!

Announcing your scheduled C-section on facebook

Re: Announcing your scheduled C-section on facebook

Choose Another Board

Search Boards