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Friend bought a $600,000 house

DG1DG1 member
5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Woes

And not in silicon valley or somewhere that has mechanisms for regular people to buy such things.

Once again, I have to wonder what we are doing wrong. We should have roughly the same incomes, though theirs are a little bit higher. They have 2 kids draining the bank just like we do. 

My kids are cuter than theirs, though.  Smarter, too, I bet.

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Re: Friend bought a $600,000 house

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    **O-Face****O-Face** member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You are not the Joneses.
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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You should really stop comparing yourself to others.   You have no idea how they save/spend their money, how much their mortgage is, what things they prioritize differently than your family does - - you just can't compare when you don't have the intimate details of their financial situation.  
    I hate that your instant reaction seems to be that you and your DH are doing something wrong.   Aren't you happy with what you have?   A beautiful, custom home, a healthy family, incomes that keep you in a lifestyle that you like (presumably...).  
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Any combination of the following:

    - Different priorities
    - Family money
    - Massive debt
    - Lottery winnings

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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Also (after re-reading your post) how are your 2 kids draining the bank?   My kid hardly costs anything.
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    not to put too fine a point on it, but why do you care?  for all you know, they have a 80 year mortgage and put the down payment on a credit card.

    you're not doing anything "wrong;" you're just different.

    dh and i live in a 2 br apt; we're the only ones in our families who don't own a house and we don't think there is anything wrong with that. 
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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    DG - I think you would sh1t your pants if you knew how little money my DH and I make combined.  
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    nicoleg1982nicoleg1982 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_friend-bought-600000-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b542757b-c8f0-4986-af55-b35b2f816294Post:11c2ad26-60f0-40be-89e7-5bb80ec9db77">Re: Friend bought a $600,000 house</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also (after re-reading your post) how are your 2 kids draining the bank?   My kid hardly costs anything.
    Posted by AuntFlo[/QUOTE]

    <div>Please have your DD come teach my DD how to be thrifty.  My DD totals at least $1k/month.</div>
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    PMeg819PMeg819 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    How do you know the actual purchase price was that? Maybe that's what it is appraised at. Our home appraises at a way higher value than what we bought it at, but we got a foreclosure. I'm not one to talk about kids, as I only have the one, but he's not costing us much.
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    PMeg819PMeg819 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    $525 for daycare
    $30-40 food (in addition to what I would have bought normally)
    $20 clothes
    $30 diapers/wipes
    $175 for Coverdell, life insurance, 529 stuff
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    loveshine1loveshine1 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you should worry about what they're doing. They're just doing things different. I also don't think it's right to look into other people's pockets.

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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    YOU PAY $525 FOR DAYCARE?!

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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Well, I don't pay for daycare, so I know that puts me at more of an advantage savings-wise.  But I probably spend $50/month on diapers, $15/month on wipes, not much extra on food since she eats most of the same stuff we do (I just eat less), $20 a month on clothes (this is average - I'm a bargain hunter and wait around for post-season sales and by sizes ahead) and then maybe $100/month for health insurance, savings, etc.
    DH and I spend less on eating out and entertainment so that helps balance things.

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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    WTF.

    :: turns car over, sets it on fire ::

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    nicoleg1982nicoleg1982 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_friend-bought-600000-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b542757b-c8f0-4986-af55-b35b2f816294Post:05a17334-4415-47e7-83f2-d4be787bab3a">Re: Friend bought a $600,000 house</a>:
    [QUOTE]YOU PAY $525 FOR DAYCARE?!
    Posted by hmonkey[/QUOTE]

    <div>Amen.  DD is older than Pbaby and I pay $800/month with all of the extras (parties, tumbling, etc.).  </div>
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    thatgrrrrlthatgrrrrl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hmo, I pay $312/week for daycare. It's going up when we move.
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    nicoleg1982nicoleg1982 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    DD's health insurance alone is $180/month.  Diapers $40.  Wipes $15.  Daycare $800.  Clothes, it varies, but I'd say $30 right now is fair.  Food $40 (for items I buy only for her).  Some months are more, some are less.  

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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_friend-bought-600000-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b542757b-c8f0-4986-af55-b35b2f816294Post:55558511-b4be-440a-95b2-73fab7aefd65">Re: Friend bought a $600,000 house</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Friend bought a $600,000 house : Please have your DD come teach my DD how to be thrifty.  My DD totals at least $1k/month.
    Posted by nicoleg1982[/QUOTE]

    $1600/month for daycare
    $30/month for nighttime diapers alone
    $60/month in daytime diapers
    $20/month just for the breakfast bars they eat on the ride to daycare
    $24/month for freaking milk

    And really, they eat as much as we do, and they use twice as much water for their freaking baths and the kiddie pool in the back yard. And they leave every light on. So I think they can account for at least 1/3-1/2 of our grocery and utility bills.  I couldn't really begin to estimate clothing costs, though I'm dreading the upcoming winter needs. Snow boots are freaking expensive.

    IDK. Another college friend bought a $600k house in Menlo Park a few years ago. (2br, 1 ba) But apparently they have special rules in california where you only have to put 5% down or something, because otherwise normal people could never even enter the market.

    IDK why I constantly compare. I guess I just don't know how else to judge whether I'm doing OK or what I'm supposed to or what.  If you only look within your tiny sphere, you'd never know if the kids were hitting the milestones they should or what.

    And I know I don't want that house. I can't even clean what I have, never mind 4,000 square feet with 4 bathrooms. And a detached garage. What's the point of having a garage if it's detached? (OK, I know that's better than no garage. But for $600k in Atlanta, I'd expect a damn attached garage.)

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    PMeg819PMeg819 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    $525 will stay the same regardless of age. I know I pay way less, if he went to a center we'd be looking at $900. We'll probably start preschool next year, and I'm sure we'll pay more for that.

    Our insurance rates didn't change when he came because we were already on a family plan through DH's work.

    We live in a low cost of living area. So I know that if/when we move, this will all change.

    Although looking at these numbers, I feel like I should be having a Duggar amount of chlidren because I could probably afford it.
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    *Barbie**Barbie* member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    that's nice for your friend, as long as they can afford it.

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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Buy snow boots and other winter wear at Walmart, or better yet, a resale shop. 

    Teach the kids how to turn the lights off when they leave a room.   DD has been doing this since she was tall enough to reach them - probably about 1.5 years.
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Another short kid bonus, 6let can't reach the light switches.

    And $20 in breakfast bars?  Can't they eat something else? 

    There are certain things you can't change about kid expenses, but the rest are somewhat negotiable.  Maybe I'm just really lucky to have hand me downs, but I know we don't spend $20 for clothes combined.

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    NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    How can they even reach the lights yet? Me thinks y'all are leaving them on for them.

    I admit to not really comparing myself to people. Years ago a friend tried to make me seem like the cheapest chick on earth because I didn't own the latest purse or become a MAC addict.

    I just laughed at her and reminded her who did and did not default on their student loans.
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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    They've both been able to reach light switches for a while. They're also smart enough to get their stools and turn them on if they can't reach for some reason.

    And I *do* shop at consignment shops and tj maxx and walmart. I'm hoping to reuse one snowsuit from last year, but the boots will be $20 each at best, even at walmart. And another snowsuit will be another $30 or $40, even at walmart.  We're also running out of hand-me-downs, so I'll have to stock up a little bit when it gets colder. I do have a $46 credit at the consignment store, though, for stuff I sold there, and I have another batch of stuff there today, so we'll see how that goes.

    As for the bars, I'm not sure how we could do much better. That's about 46 cents/bar. A banana would be more than that. Waffles might be less. I wonder if they'd eat that in the car. I do like the smidgen of nutrition they get from the Kashi bars in the morning. At the very least, they've had a tiny morsel of fruit and whole grain, you know?

    I did find milk for $2.56 at Aldi today, which is less than what I paid at walmart yesterday ($3.29, I think).

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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_friend-bought-600000-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b542757b-c8f0-4986-af55-b35b2f816294Post:2ddae327-e9a0-4c7c-b928-000a7ab88833">Re: Friend bought a $600,000 house</a>:
    [QUOTE]I admit to not really comparing myself to people. Years ago a friend tried to make me seem like the cheapest chick on earth because I didn't own the latest purse or become a MAC addict. I just laughed at her and reminded her who did and did not default on their student loans.
    Posted by NOLABridesmaid[/QUOTE]

    This is interesting. I feel no envy for people who have the latest purse or 6 different coach bags or whatever. I do wonder where they get their money, but I'm not jealous of it at all - I mostly think it's a stupid expense, even if you *do* have the money. (Unless you have a TON of money, where $400 is like $5 to the rest of us.)

    Maybe if I think of houses and cars like purses, I'll be less inclined to feel inferior by comparison.

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    nicoleg1982nicoleg1982 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I buy organic milk for DD, which is usually $6/gallon.  And she can go through a gallon or two in a week.  It is ridiculous.
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Hmm, bananas are 49 cents a pound here.  I know I have a luxury of being able to make things and shop more often.  I'm not trying to pick, honest.  There are things I know I was able to start doing more cheaply since I quit. 

    I got 6let's snowsuit at ON last year for pretty cheap.  The Children's Place is my new favorite store.  Long sleeved tees for $3.30.  Shoes for $1.99 (sale prices).  I really don't shop that far ahead because I tend to get screwed.  I do keep limited wardrobes.  Pretty much I like to keep it to 2 weeks of clothing.

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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    2 weeks is about what they have, especially since I need to keep an outfit or 2 at daycare as backups. 

    I'll have to look closer at the bananas. Seems like they were charging per banana recently, which I noticed because it was weird and new.

    We're doing better about meals - less takeout, more cooking ahead.  The freezer is full, in fact, and when we make some space, I'm going to make a giant pot of spaghetti sauce and freeze it in individual bags, because jar sauce is ridiculously expensive (and often gross).

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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Nico - why organic milk?
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    **O-Face****O-Face** member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Random:  SIL (bro's wife) said they're up to 9 gallons of milk a week.  *googly eyes*
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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_friend-bought-600000-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:b542757b-c8f0-4986-af55-b35b2f816294Post:09a107da-c4f6-4074-b9f1-7f1c58dcc563">Re: Friend bought a $600,000 house</a>:
    [QUOTE]Random:  SIL (bro's wife) said they're up to 9 gallons of milk a week.  *googly eyes*
    Posted by **O-Face**[/QUOTE]

    How many dozens of children do they have????
    �
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