What are YOU doing about the garter toss?

gatorgirl2010 · December 2009

I know it's tradition, but the garter toss kind of creeps me out. I feel like having my new husband rooting around in my skirt is something I'd rather NOT have happen in front of our family. I still want to toss my bouquet. THAT seems okay, primarily because I don't have to publicly search through my sweetie's pants to find it.
Am I being prudish? Is it okay to have a bouquet toss and not a garter toss, or is that a double standard?
What did you ladies do?

pandasquishy · December 2009

Some people aren't okay with it, so they don't do it. No biggie. We're doing it though.

You could push the garter down to your ankle and just have him slip it off your foot, or he could wear it around his shirt sleeve and then take it off, or out of his pocket. Or, just not do it at all. It's all good!

cukimerrydoll · December 2009

I think it depends. Some brides put it around their knee just before, and the groom only goes in with his hands instead of his whole self.

I was at a wedding with my FMIL this summer, and it was the first time she had seen it. She was mortified! But I think she's getting more comfortable with the idea.

We're still undecided on this one.

Kathiiy · December 2009

I am trying to keep the wedding classy so we aren't doing it.

Saying that, it's completely up to you, if you like it and it fits your theme then do it. If you don't, then don't!.

danieliza1127 · December 2009

We didn't do a garter toss, I didn't even wear one.

lyndausvi · December 2009

We did not have either tosses. I didn't even wear a garter

brownhenry · December 2009

If you did want to do a toss you could ask him to keep it clean since your families will be there and just reach his hand up quick or like one of the other posts said put it on your ankle and have him pull it off from there

kate8987 · December 2009

We're doing the toss but I'll have the garter right above my knee and I'll pull my dress up to there so he can just pull it off. He will not be going up under my dress to find it...

tmwagner · December 2009

I don't have a problem with him taking it off, we just got married, I think it's ok for him to touch my thigh! I'm not concerned with people finding that uncomfortable, I'm uncomfortable having the guy who cought the garter put it on some poor girls leg, that is awkward!

anna.oskar · December 2009

We are not doing it. A bunch of people cat-calling as a guy goes up a girl's skirt is not my idea of a perfect day.

Here's the origin of the tradition:
Brides originally tossed a garter, rather than a bouquet, at a wedding reception. In the 14th century, this custom changed after Brides became tired of fighting off drunken men who tried to remove the garter themselves! According to one legend, the garter toss in England evolved from an earlier tradition of "flinging the stocking". On their wedding night, guests would follow the Bride and Groom to their bedroom, wait until they undressed, steal their stockings, and then "fling" them at the couple! The first person to hit the Bride or Groom on the head would supposedly be the next person to marry.

soon2bMrsColin · December 2009

I want to do the garter toss. It's tradition! My dad did it with my mom and so on. My fiance is totally against it, he thinks the whole idea is ridiculous. So we're still debating.

However I love the history! And I'm so glad its a garter and not someone coming in during the wedding night to steal our stockings!!!!

gatorgirl2010 · December 2009

Thanks for sharing with me, ladies!

megk8oz · December 2009

There's no law saying you have to do one just because you throw the bouquet. It really is fine to just do your toss and skip the garter (Which is a growing trend from what I gather).

I did not want to do a garter toss, mainly because while I'm okay with FI rooting around under my dress, I am NOT ok with all of our friends and family looking on while he does so. I was fine with him just having a garter in his pocket or something.

We wound up talking it over, and we realized that with the exeption of like 3 guests, everybody in attendance is either married, engaged, or in a really serious relationship (To the point that they wouldn't get up to participate), so we decided to just scrap both.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2009

We're not doing it. I'm not doing a bouquet toss either. I never enjoy either as a guest. I doubt anyone will miss it or ask about it.

However, some people have a "toss garter" like a "toss bouquet" that the groom can keep in his pocket, so it's not a sweaty ordeal to get it off.

janedoe1113a · December 2009

We're doing the garter toss just for tradition. He will not be getting all up in my skirt though. I'll have it low on my thigh and then probably pull up my dress so he can easily get it off. No rauchiness at our wedding.

kaynix21 · December 2009

FI is TOTALLY uncomfortable with it, so we're not doing it.

jenn.daniel · December 2009

I'm leaving the decision up to FI. I think he wants to do it.

Boosgirl79 · December 2009

We're not doing it. We'll have a lot of older family members attending and I really don't want to offend them by having him get all up on me in front of them. I think I'll end up scratching the bouquet toss as well, because it's kind of silly to me to buy (or make) another bouquet just to throw and I'm not sure how many girls would even participate. So it's meh. We'll do our first dances and start partying!

Pirata13 · December 2009

We're probably going to do both tosses. But will keep it clean. I'm a big baseball fan, and we're actually planning on playing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the reception. I have to run this by FI, but I'd like to make both tosses quick and simple, do them together. Have the girls on one side, guys on the other, and play Take Me Out to the Ballgame...He'll remove the garter during the first few lines of the song, we'll get in place throughout the middle lines, and throw the bouquet and garter on the line "For it's 1-2-3 strikes you're out at the old ballgame!" It's a 30 second song, there's not much he can do if we need to be in place to toss!

jamalina · December 2009

We decided against it.

pandasquishy · December 2009

I hate that "history" that's floating around the internet. It's historically inaccurate.

newgate309 · December 2009

We're not doing it. My fiance thinks it's trashy and tacky, and I agree after seeing several videos! I'm undecided about whether to do a bouquet toss.

squirrly · December 2009

I don't want to do the garter toss. Undecided on the boquet.

laurening · December 2009

Not doing either the garter or bouquet toss. I'll be 30 and FI 31 when we get married and many of our friends are either married or in serious relationships/engaged.

Just because something is tradition doesn't mean you have to do it. I've been to many weddings as an adult have only seen the garter toss a few times (it's about 50/50 on the bouquet). I saw it more as a kid, so it's definitely a much less practiced tradition.

You have options: toss neither, toss just the bouquet, take your garter off in the ladies' room and he can toss it without taking it off publicly (or buy a separate garter to toss). I've also heard of the groom tossing a little nerf football to all of his friends, married or not. You get the fun of the toss, but none of the potential awkwardness.

ashleypastori · December 2009

We're skipping the garter and bouquet tosses. Most of our guests are married except 2-3 guys and 2-3 girls. Plus, it's an unecessary expense.

e_jakiela · December 2009

"On their wedding night, guests would follow the Bride and Groom to their bedroom, wait until they undressed, steal their stockings, and then "fling" them at the couple! The first person to hit the Bride or Groom on the head would supposedly be the next person to marry. "

I just pictured this and cannot stop laughing!!! HAHAHA

cukimerrydoll · December 2009

I was talking about this the other night with my MOH, and she said that I could lift my dress up to my knees, and we could have a little fun with it that way.

I'm a scuba diver/swimmer getting married in August, so it's not like people won't have seen my shins.

fairy_diva · December 2009

Hmm, I wanted to do both, but I'm not sure if we have enough single mne/women to line up for it. I think there might be a handful at most of either sex, most being on my FI side.

Chanel8174 · December 2009

we are doing it. FI is totally for it. I'm just gonna cover my face and laugh my heart out during the removal. Most of our guest are pretty laid back, and the ones that aren't.... I highly doubt they will come up to us and say how repulsed they were.

fnordess · December 2009

We're skipping the garter and bouquet tosses. I was on the fence at first because I figured that people would expect them to happen, but then I tried to imagine both from the guest's point of view, and that made up my mind for me. NMS.

soze82 · December 2009

We are totally doing it! All of our guests are pretty laid back, and we aren't up-tight about it and I think it will be fun.

What are YOU doing about the garter toss?

Re: What are YOU doing about the garter toss?

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