Wedding and then...baby???

DanielleZZ · December 2010

FI and I are 22/23 and we've been together for over 7 years. We plan on starting about a year after our March 2011 wedding. We both love kids and are very exciting about starting a family but have a couple financial things to set in place first. We want at least 5 kids and foresee some fertility issues so we dont want to wait very long. The plan right now is to have the 3rd baby at 30, I want to be done by 35.

If your both ready then go for it! IMO the "right" time is different for everybody.

NillaWafer10 · December 2010

We're waiting until we can afford one, which will probably be 5-7 years. Kids can put a lot of stress on even the healthiest relationships, so H and I want to be emotionally and financially ready.

mr33636 · December 2010

Have kids because you are truely ready for kids- not due to age. If you both want kids now, have them. If you are only doing it because of letting time slip away, do not! You have plenty of time! We are getting married this September (23 and 25), but we plan to wait at least 5 years until we have kids. We want to enjoy each others time, save more money, travel and have fun with our friends.

cbabe0216 · December 2010

I am 26 and FI is 27. We are getting married in August. We want to wait 2 years or so... we are hoping to save to go to Europe in 2013 and start trying there! I don't think 30 is anything to be afraid of for starting to try. Unless your family has a history of fertility problems. But if you both want to try right away... why the heck not? My only advice is enjoy everything together!

splash547 · December 2010

I am 23 (24 at time of wedding) and FI is 25. We have both always known that we wanted kids. Been together 4+ years already. We kind of say if we have a kid we have a kid, but I wouldn't be surprised if we were pregnant by our 1st year anniversary. We are pretty excited!

Auntyayarx · December 2010

Immediately!!!!!!! We are getting married in March and I will be stopping by BCP after this pack.

casies683 · December 2010

We will probably start trying within a few months of the wedding - we're ready! We talked about having kids before we talked about getting married. We are 28 & 29, have been together for forever, and are ready to start our family. Can't wait!

DrewVictoria · December 2010

while I am not married yet nor do I have children, I do have advice that I got from my mother. There is never a "right time". She told me a story about when she foudn out she was pregnant with my little sister. My parents did not have much money and living in NY requires a steady solid cash flow, my mom was paniced and she asked her doctor what she should do. He told her that there would never be enough money, there would never be enough time, there would always be work and there would always been hard times, but when you have a baby the ONLY thing fueling it should be that you want that part of your family to begin. Its starts on your wedding day, and grows with children.

good luck

ashleymarie2390 · December 2010

I'm getting married in Jan and both me and the FI are in are early twenties, we would like to wait 2 or 3 years then start TTC. But if it happens befoe we'll be just as happy. It's whenever its meant to it will.

raindacner547 · December 2010

I am 26 my FI 35. He went back to school...wont be done until 2013. Because his program is so demanding he can't really work right now and has very little income. Therefore I am the only one working until he gets an opportunity for an internship (hopefully next summer). I am trying to be patient about the idea of waiting until after he graduates to start TTC but my clock is ticking VERY loudly and it even gets me feeling depressed at times...many of my closest friends are already married and have their first child or are currently pregnant. I understand your concerns about wanting to feel ready. I don't believe that you are too young. for me, the only concern is income, but if income is not so much of a concern than I say go for it!

Katie H21 · December 2010

My FI and I are both 27 and getting married in June. We talk about having children a lot. Our plan is to wait until after the wedding to make the decision for sure but we are leaning towards the 'if it happens it happens' approach.

My mom got married at 19 and planned on waiting until 25 or so, but after the doctors told her she may never be able to have children, she started trying right away, and between the ages of 21 and 34 she had six, me being the youngest. Her advice to me was that you will NEVER be "ready" whether its age, finances, etc.

I think if you both are feel ready and willing then its never too soon or too late.
I would just recommend thinking about it a lot and spending time with children or couples that have children. I have a niece as well and I love her to death but after seeing and experiencing first hand the immense life style change that comes along with having a baby it might change your perspective.

Whatever you decide, congratulations and good luck!!!

sj0501 · December 2010

My FI and I have 4 kids from my previous marriage and we are 32. I am adament that if we have any children it will have to be before I hit 35 but I am sure we will wait too... there are plenty of people waiting til mid to late 30's and even after... you have plenty of time. :-)

tabythap · December 2010

I'm a 30+ bride and so is my F and partly because we waited to get married - we are going to start trying for a family immediately after our wedding next November. I used to think that I didn't want to have kids after 30, but the reality is that "type of thinking" is old school.

Whatever your decision just make sure you guys are ready....heck if my F had his way he'd make me a pregnant bride. lol

gundy21 · December 2010

I turn 38 one month after our 4/11 wedding - my FI turns 39 next week. We will be trying soon, but not right away. We want to enjoy being married for a little while (probably 6 months). We only want 1, so that takes a little pressure off. I know it can be challenging at my age - but I have many friends that are in the same boat as me with babies on the way. Seems like a lot of us took a while to find Mr. Right and got married after 35!

margokendall · December 2010

My fiance will have been together a year and a half by the time we marry in July. He has a 7 year old from a previous relationship. We plan in trying to conceive 6 months after the wedding. We would like to give his son a sibling as soon as possible. Plus we will both be 31 by the time baby #1 comes and we plan on having two. I don't want to be 40 and pregnant.

CorsCors · December 2010

FI and i have been together for almost 2yrs and have lived together for a year. We're getting married in May and haven't had a serious discussion per say but we both have the understanding it'll be few months after the wedding. Not necessarily ttc but more like we'll stop not trying, if that makes any sense. I just turned 26, he is 27 and i have been really wanting a baby for a few years. he knew this when we started dating! I think you will just know when you're emotionally ready- not when you're set in your job or financially stable,etc...if you wait for all that bs you'll never have kids.

ckramzar · December 2010

I am probably not the best person to answer this question since my husband and I do everything backwords. We had a baby, got married, and in 2011 we will be having our wedding ceremony. I'm 23 and my daughter will be 1 in January, I love being a young mom. I want to try for another after the wedding. It's stressful but helps you bond as a couple. You also savor every moment you get alone with your husband, it means so much more. I don't think there's ever a "right" time to have kids..so if you wait for it, it may never come. It's a huge change of lifestyle, but worth every second. My opinion is try after the wedding, you usually don't get pregnabt instantly so you can still enjoy your time as just the two of you together, and when it finally happens, it's an amazing experience! Good luck to you.

Purplepixiefoot · December 2010

ill be twenty six, fiance will be twenty five when we get married in july. we arent plannng for a baby immediately after the wedding but instead going the route of if it happens, it happens. i have a lot of married friends who are trying and have been for a while and im a firm believer that the harder you try the more difficult it can become. i dont want conceiving a child to be a chore so weve chosen to just not be as cautious after the wedding and let nature take its course. if we get pregnant right away then we will be just as happy as if it is a few years down the road. i also really want to have all of my children before thirty but have realized that it wont be the end of the world if that doesnt happen. the longer you wait, the more likely it is to have complications or a child born with a disability. i think having children and deciding on the right time is something that is too personal with too many variables to have anyone but you and your future hubby contribute to that decision. i understand wanting to know what other people are planning but be sure you do what is right for your life. i am having serious baby fever with many close friends having babies but i get my fix of baby time by watching their kids.

please excuse the lack of capitalization and punctuation as my phone will not let me correct the errors on this site

Urchin9 · December 2010

I'm 24.

My fiance and I have been talking babies for about a year now. Our Wedding isn't until September 2011, but we're ready for kids like yesterday.

To be honest, I am more excited to get the wedding over with so we can start our family

D and I have most other things "accomplished" already though. We've been together 7 years and have finished schooling and purchased a home. We just took a little longer to get married.

We plan on starting to try a couple of months before the wedding.

25 isn't too young and I don't think talking about it now is going to hurt. It's good to know where your hubby-to-be stands on the issue.

For me, if we're going to have more than one baby, I want to start soon. I don't feel like waiting until my 30's is right for me and my fiance.

Good luck!

mgmlove · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-thenbaby?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:876edce9-72fb-430b-b2d6-cefbd5a5c80aPost:6763e306-819d-46b3-9477-9807f3cdeb7d">Re: Wedding and then...baby???</a>:
[QUOTE]We're planning on TTC starting on our 1 year anniversary. I will be 29 and FI (then H) will be 30.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

This is what we are doing too. I'm already in my 30's and I have a family history of "girly" issues starting around 35 or so. We want to have both kids (we're planning on 2...but we'll see) by the time i'm 35.

But we also have back-up plans should we not be able to concieve before the usual family problems kick in (which may never happen...I could be healthy as a female horse). :)

rmwood21 · December 2010

My FI and I are both going to be 22 when we get married in June. We have decided that we are just going to let what happens- happen. We are lucky that he has an extremely good job offer once he graduates in May. We are specifically going to try right away but if it happens we will be fine with it.
Good luck with everything!

smdubs · December 2010

I'm 27 and getting married in five months. My finance and I are very excitied about having children and I plan on being right around two months pregnant for the wedding, so we'll start trying soon. It's certainly not a plan that would work for everyone, but it works for us.

You need to do what YOU and your HUSBAND feel is right. Talk about it, make a plan. The plan can always change, but at least you've taken the steps and you won't wake up at 30 and be upset that you haven't started a family. With a plan, you'll wake up at 30 and be exactly where you want to be, no surprises.

cbarber41 · December 2010

My future mother-in-law told us "If you wait to have kids until you can afford them, you'll never have kids." She wasn't trying to tell us to have kids, and she said it kinda of hesitantly, but it's just a fact of life!

I know it's hard with full-time jobs (I'll be in graduate school right after our wedding) but hopefully both of your employers have maternity and paternity leave. Otherwise, enjoy the time you and your husband have together because you know once kids get involved, they need a looooot of attention.

cologurl88 · December 2010

I am 22 years old and my FI and I are marrying in June 2011. I know I may sound young and posting my opinion but I say when you feel that the time is right then have a baby. I too am thinking about babies and would love to have one by 2012, but I too must make sure I am stable etc. Other than that I will have a baby, and a lot of people think 23 is young to have children, but I say it really all depends on the maturity level of that person. Good LUCK with your wedding!!!!

jlb743 · December 2010

Honestly, I have baby fever and I am only 25. My FI is 30 and we will be 26 and 31 when we get married in April. Our thought is this- "if it happens, it happens" We are not planning to have a baby but are not-not planning to have a baby! We both believe it will happen when it is suppose to... it is hard to sometimes plan out the "right" time, as someone else mentioned, there is no real "right" time! Good Luck!!

heathers721 · December 2010

No body can tell you what to do; you have to do what is right for you. I know couples that had babies right away and I know couples that have waited. Both types have been very good parents.

Some people feel strongly one way or the next. Others do not. I personally want to wait at least a year. But, my fiance wants to have a family right away. We both want kids and to have a family. We both have good, stable jobs. My fiance's father is the first male on his side of the family that has lived past the age of 50. That is impacting his decsion greatly. Instead of waiting a year, we'll probably wait a couple months. People told me to wait, but we both want a family. No one can tell us what's best for us except for the two of us.

We want a family. I'll be happy either way. It's what works for you, not what works for everyone else. We're all different and what's best for one couple might not be best for another couple. Follow your heart.

MegP413 · December 2010

We are probably going to start trying about 6 months after the wedding. I will be 30 and he will be 31. I already have a 10 year old and have wanted more kids for a long time. He wants a family so it just works for us. I love me daughter more than anything but i missed out on a lot. And I was the only one of my friends who had a child so I was exluded from many things and had to seek out people with kids. Take your time and enjoy life and then bring babies into the world.

KSR13 · December 2010

My fiance and I are going to wait several years, just because I will be graduating from graduate school soon, and he has a couple more years on his army reserve time. Personally, I liked how my parents waited 5 years. 5 years is enough time to get through the first couple arguments, get a good relationship between just the both of you, and also to allow time to financial get settled and ready for a new bundle of joy. You are both young enough where you can take a couple years to just enjoy being together, because you won't get that again for 18+ years once you have a baby! Good luck!

ricknmere4ever · December 2010

I am getting Married Oct 1 2011 and my FI and I have decided to wait a yr so that we get that quality time together for atleast a yr before we start trying. So on our 1 yr anniversary I am going to stop using BC and when it happens it happens we are both currently 28, will be 29 when we get married! You shouldnt rush it cause you will miss some real quality time with your honey!!

aimee&jacob · December 2010

honestly everyone is different. Some people need that time to be marrie dhave their life revolve around just them and their husband while others want to start af amily together while they are young. I feel like I got some of the best advice from my sister, she got married at 21 and got pregnant with her first child at 24. They waited 3 years only really because hey needed to wait until they were both out of school. She told me that the longer you wait to have kids (longer than 3 years) the harder it is to adjust to a new lifestyle with your baby. Your whole life changes when you ahve a baby and its not about you anymore, it's about your baby and raising that child right. I am 21 and getting married in May 2011. Both me and my fiance want a baby really really bad and hoenstly would be estatic if we got pregnant now! lol Both of us will graduate December 2011 (him with a masters and me with a BSN in nursing) so honestly are just wanting to wait until we are both out of school and then maybe try? But we also think it would be fun to wait until our 1st anniversary together and then go on a "babymoon" and concieve then

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