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Not Engaged Yet
tlgardn2
member
DRAMA :(
ok so obviously im NEY... however, let me explain my current predicament.
My family and I are very close...especially my brother and I.
I live with my boyfriend and we've been together for 2 years...there has obviously been lots of talk about engagement. I was desperately hoping he would have proposed at the end of last year (2010) so that i could plan for a fall wedding for 2011. October preferably. He didn't, yet I still had hopes he would soon (since it was only January when the drama went down).
My brother has been married and divorced and actually just got REmarried to a girl he's been with for a couple of years. I love(d) her and supported the marriage completely! I was so happy that he was happy again!
Until they dropped the word that they booked their "reception" for October of 2011..... They got married at the beginning of December 2010 but planned their wedding for the next fall??
I was upset of course, I didn't understand why he or she (being a girl, i would imagine she would think of these things!) never thought to even ask if I would still plan my wedding for October given the opportunity..but because I don't have a ring on my finger yet, i didn't make a fuss about it..what claim did i have?
Instead I expressed my concern with my mom and sister. They understood and thought the same thing as I did, that he should have asked.
well a few weeks went by and it came up in my absence. It all blew up somehow, and now my brother CANCELLED his entire reception (all vendors encluded) and is furious with all of us that I am not even engaged and yet we're worried about my wedding date.
I just want peoples views on this!? Am I being out of line for being upset that he didn't consult me?? This is BOTH of their second marriages (they even got married in vegas!) and their reception is said to be just a big party anyways... This is my FIRST and ONLY wedding.
as i said earlier..i think im more hurt because we used to be so close, and now he acts like he has no idea what's going on with me.
My family and I are very close...especially my brother and I.
I live with my boyfriend and we've been together for 2 years...there has obviously been lots of talk about engagement. I was desperately hoping he would have proposed at the end of last year (2010) so that i could plan for a fall wedding for 2011. October preferably. He didn't, yet I still had hopes he would soon (since it was only January when the drama went down).
My brother has been married and divorced and actually just got REmarried to a girl he's been with for a couple of years. I love(d) her and supported the marriage completely! I was so happy that he was happy again!
Until they dropped the word that they booked their "reception" for October of 2011..... They got married at the beginning of December 2010 but planned their wedding for the next fall??
I was upset of course, I didn't understand why he or she (being a girl, i would imagine she would think of these things!) never thought to even ask if I would still plan my wedding for October given the opportunity..but because I don't have a ring on my finger yet, i didn't make a fuss about it..what claim did i have?
Instead I expressed my concern with my mom and sister. They understood and thought the same thing as I did, that he should have asked.
well a few weeks went by and it came up in my absence. It all blew up somehow, and now my brother CANCELLED his entire reception (all vendors encluded) and is furious with all of us that I am not even engaged and yet we're worried about my wedding date.
I just want peoples views on this!? Am I being out of line for being upset that he didn't consult me?? This is BOTH of their second marriages (they even got married in vegas!) and their reception is said to be just a big party anyways... This is my FIRST and ONLY wedding.
as i said earlier..i think im more hurt because we used to be so close, and now he acts like he has no idea what's going on with me.
*hatred is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies*
This discussion has been closed.
Re: DRAMA :(
[QUOTE]ok so obviously im NEY... however, let me explain my current predicament. My family and I are very close...especially my brother and I. I live with my boyfriend and we've been together for 2 years...there has obviously been lots of talk about engagement. I was desperately hoping he would have proposed at the end of last year (2010) so that i could plan for a fall wedding for 2011. October preferably. He didn't, yet I still had hopes he would soon ( since it was only January when the drama went down ). My brother has been married and divorced and actually just got REmarried to a girl he's been with for a couple of years. I love(d) her and supported the marriage completely! I was so happy that he was happy again! Until they dropped the word that they booked their "reception" for October of 2011..... They got married at the beginning of December 2010 but planned their wedding for the next fall?? I was upset of course, I didn't understand why he or she (being a girl, i would imagine she would think of these things!) never thought to even ask if I would still plan my wedding for October given the opportunity..but because I don't have a ring on my finger yet, i didn't make a fuss about it..what claim did i have? Instead I expressed my concern with my mom and sister. They understood and thought the same thing as I did, that he should have asked. well a few weeks went by and it came up in my absence. It all blew up somehow, and now my brother CANCELLED his entire reception ( all vendors encluded ) and is furious with all of us that I am not even engaged and yet we're worried about my wedding date. I just want peoples views on this!? Am I being out of line for being upset that he didn't consult me?? This is BOTH of their second marriages ( they even got married in vegas !) and their reception is said to be just a big party anyways... This is my FIRST and ONLY wedding. as i said earlier..i think im more hurt because we used to be so close, and now he acts like he has no idea what's going on with me.
Posted by tlgardn2[/QUOTE]
JIC
That said it does sound like he overreacted, though I don't blame him for being upset/annoyed. I hope they put the shindig back on.
and reminder...i didn't bring up the issue to him in the first place..my mom and sister did..all i did was express my concern on the issue.
Just....
Wait, what?
None of this makes any sense.
[QUOTE]I think your entire family is nucking futs.
Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]
I <3 you GPB!! Thank you for making me laugh.
It doesn't matter if it was his 8th wedding. You are NOT engaged yet. And you still don't get a whole month. Get over it.
One day. 1 day. One day. 1 day. That is ALL you get!!!!
Maybe I'm just naive.
I wouldn't want to plan a wedding in the same month as a family member OR a close friend.
[QUOTE]even tho this is his second marriage and only a party supposedly ? ? and reminder...i didn't bring up the issue to him in the first place..my mom and sister did..all i did was express my concern on the issue.
Posted by tlgardn2[/QUOTE]
Oh and your friends/ family can still plan a party, of any kind, in the month you get married, FYI. The world doesn't stop living because you are getting married.
[QUOTE]I think your entire family is nucking futs.
Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]
This.
Also, yes. Even though this is his second wedding. I'm sure they believe this to be their LAST wedding, and it's just as important to them. ALL weddings (receptions especially) are essentially just parties, btw.
[QUOTE]wow...i had no idea i'd get so much hostility from people... Maybe I'm just naive.
Posted by tlgardn2[/QUOTE]
Look at it from an outsiders prospective.
i told him not to cancel.
i told him it wasn't a big deal hours after i found out everything blew up.
but since he got married a year before he planned the reception i didn't think it would be necessary.
[QUOTE]ok i get it...i was wrong to be a little upset and vent to my sister and mother.. i told him not to cancel. i told him it wasn't a big deal hours after i found out everything blew up.
Posted by tlgardn2[/QUOTE]
Good for you. What did he say when you told him it this?
I'm not really sure what advice you want from us now. It sounds like you've already done the smart thing by trying to take back your irrationality.
If I were your brother, I would expect/appreciate an apology from you, not just a "nevermind". Did you try that?
[QUOTE]ok so obviously im NEY... however, let me explain my current predicament. My family and I are very close...especially my brother and I. I live with my boyfriend and we've been together for 2 years...there has obviously been lots of talk about engagement. I was desperately hoping he would have proposed at the end of last year (2010) so that i could plan for a fall wedding for 2011. October preferably. He didn't, yet I still had hopes he would soon ( since it was only January when the drama went down ). My brother has been married and divorced and actually just got REmarried to a girl he's been with for a couple of years. I love(d) her and supported the marriage completely! I was so happy that he was happy again! Until they dropped the word that they booked their "reception" for October of 2011..... They got married at the beginning of December 2010 but planned their wedding for the next fall?? I was upset of course, I didn't understand why he or she (being a girl, i would imagine she would think of these things!) never thought to even ask if I would still plan my wedding for October given the opportunity..but because I don't have a ring on my finger yet, i didn't make a fuss about it..what claim did i have? Instead I expressed my concern with my mom and sister. They understood and thought the same thing as I did, that he should have asked. well a few weeks went by and it came up in my absence. It all blew up somehow, and now my brother CANCELLED his entire reception ( all vendors encluded ) and is furious with all of us that I am not even engaged and yet we're worried about my wedding date. I just want peoples views on this!? Am I being out of line for being upset that he didn't consult me?? This is BOTH of their second marriages <strong>( they even got married in vegas !)</strong> and their reception is said to be just a big party anyways... This is my FIRST and ONLY wedding. as i said earlier..i think im more hurt because we used to be so close, and now he acts like he has no idea what's going on with me.
Posted by tlgardn2[/QUOTE]
What's wrong with Vegas?
Is your BF on board with October? Do you have a timeline? Or are you just waiting for the proposal to say, "Guess what? We're getting married in October!"
ETA: I do think it's rude that you act like your brother's wedding is unimportant because it's his second.
I haz a planning bio
[QUOTE]wow...i had no idea i'd get so much hostility from people... Maybe I'm just naive. I wouldn't want to plan a wedding in the same month as a family member OR a close friend.
Posted by tlgardn2[/QUOTE]
You are not engaged yet. Until you are please refrain from staking claim on any days yet.
[QUOTE]ok so obviously im NEY... however, let me explain my current predicament. My family and I are very close...especially my brother and I. I live with my boyfriend and we've been together for 2 years...there has obviously been lots of talk about engagement. I was desperately hoping he would have proposed at the end of last year (2010) so that i could plan for a fall wedding for 2011. October preferably. He didn't, yet I still had hopes he would soon ( since it was only January when the drama went down ). My brother has been married and divorced and actually just got REmarried to a girl he's been with for a couple of years. I love(d) her and supported the marriage completely! I was so happy that he was happy again! Until they dropped the word that they booked their "reception" for October of 2011..... They got married at the beginning of December 2010 but planned their wedding for the next fall?? I was upset of course, I didn't understand why he or she (being a girl, i would imagine she would think of these things!) never thought to even ask if I would still plan my wedding for October given the opportunity..but because I don't have a ring on my finger yet, i didn't make a fuss about it..what claim did i have? Instead I expressed my concern with my mom and sister. They understood and thought the same thing as I did, that he should have asked. well a few weeks went by and it came up in my absence. It all blew up somehow, and now my brother CANCELLED his entire reception ( all vendors encluded ) and is furious with all of us that I am not even engaged and yet we're worried about my wedding date. I just want peoples views on this!? Am I being out of line for being upset that he didn't consult me?? This is BOTH of their second marriages ( they even got married in vegas !) and their reception is said to be just a big party anyways... <strong>This is my FIRST and ONLY wedding.</strong> as i said earlier..i think im more hurt because we used to be so close, and now he acts like he has no idea what's going on with me.
Posted by tlgardn2[/QUOTE]
But you're NOT getting married.
I don't see the problem.
I think you & your Mom are both wrong. And if I was your brother, I would have laughed and thought you both were crazy and went ahead with my plans.
I don't blame your brother for wanting nothing to do with you. You brought this all on yourself and will have to deal with the consequences.
[QUOTE]In Response to DRAMA :( : But you're NOT getting married. I don't see the problem.
Posted by cupcakesfrosting[/QUOTE]
<div>QFT.</div><div>
</div><div>Seriously. Chill out. You're NEY, and living with your BF means jack sh!t as to whether or not you'll be engaged soon. You have NO right to stake claim on an entire month to hold your (currently imaginary) wedding. Who the fvck cares if it's his 2nd wedding or not, it is no less important than his first. Telling your brother it was NBD after the fact was kinda useless - your Mom and sister (and I suspect you, despite what you say) had made it very clear before that it was a big deal, and that you were pissed. He has every right to be mad. You're acting entitled and b!tchy over nothing.</div><div>
</div><div>There was no drama here until you made it drama. </div>
Life is good today.
[QUOTE]I wouldn't ask any of my unengaged siblings when the hope to get married so I could work my reception around their fantasy. I don't think you realize how <strong>bratty and entitled</strong> you come off.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]
I think "delusional" is a more apt description. I'll second the nucking futs assessment.
[QUOTE]So just because you've been together 2 years, it's OBVIOUS you're planning?
Posted by MilleRsBest[/QUOTE]
PLUS, they live together. No girl would live with her S/O if she weren't sure they would be getting married soon.
obvsly.
[QUOTE]wow...i had no idea i'd get so much hostility from people... Maybe I'm just naive. I wouldn't want to plan a wedding in the same month as a family member OR a close friend.
Posted by tlgardn2[/QUOTE]
But your wedding is not in October,, correct?
[QUOTE]wow...i had no idea i'd get so much hostility from people... Maybe I'm just naive. I wouldn't want to plan a wedding in the same month as a family member OR a close friend.
Posted by tlgardn2[/QUOTE]
YOU'RE NOT EVEN ENGAGED!
How on earth can he be forbidden to plan a wedding or reception or whatever in the month you "want". That's all it is, you want that month. It is not yours, you have no claim over it. Get over yourself please and save yourself the drama. I would be pretty furious to if I were you're brother, although it is a bit dramatic to cancel the whole thing. I'd just tell you to get the <a href="mailto:f@ck">f@ck</a> over it and grow up.