How did you/are you decide(ing) to pick a date?

melissadavis0226 · February 2012

A part of me wants next year but I don't know financially where we will be. We tossed around the idea of September or May. We mostly will be using our tax return for most of it whichever year we decide. He has about 10+ people from out of state so I thought a holiday like Memorial Day when most people have the friday before or following Monday off because I would prefer a Sunday evening for better rates.

melissadavis0226 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_how-did-youare-you-decideing-to-pick-a-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:c28691b8-a00b-4ce7-9f73-02e8a150a867Post:312e08cc-a5ff-496e-b91d-0dcbaa57babf">Re: How did you/are you decide(ing) to pick a date?</a>:
[QUOTE]We picked a date based on what was available at the venue. They only had 3 Saturdays left in the fall of 2013, and really only one that would be when the leaves are *hopefully* changing. So we went with that one. We did know that we wanted a fall wedding, and to wait until I was done with grad school, so that's why we chose 2013 over 2012. Plus it gave us a lot more time to save so we could throw the wedding we really want without having to go into debt at all. I think depending on a tax return is sort of a terrible idea. It's a nice bonus, but I never ever count on the money until it's in my bank account. I certainly would not plan my wedding around it. (For example, I had to file two different state returns for 2010 and what I actually got back was about 10% of what H&R Block estimated I would get back. If I had been depending on that money for anything, I would have been screwed.) Also - depending on where you live, holiday travel for Memorial Day weekend may be very expensive for your guests. I'm pretty sure flights will be more expensive regardless of where you live, and hotels may also be more expensive. That probably depends on location though, if you're near a beach or other popular locale for long weekend vacations, then it will be more expensive. Some venues do not treat the Sunday of a holiday weekend as a regular Sunday for discounted rates - make sure you get pricing for the holiday weekend if that's your plan. (P.S. I've never known anyone to have the Friday before Memorial Day off - just Memorial Day itself. Just personal experience.)
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Memorial Day was just an example of a federal holiday where a normal work day people are off. He is from Kansas and therefor essentially all his family is there, and I have family from Arizona. I just thought that if someone were to be off on a Friday for a holiday or a Monday it sort of helps in terms of traveling as far as having more time to get or to spend here. Labor Day is in September so that could work and Memorial Day is in May. Again nothing has been decided because he just says it's up to me for a lot of things. I'm not near anything special, I'm in the DFW area. But both Kansas and Arizona are reasonable drives if people choose to take that route as well. We are wanting to not spend more than 6k so that we can have a good honeymoon. But that's why I'm wondering whether to plan for 2013 or the following year. It's just the venue I like I know for sure books up very fast.

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[Deleted User] · February 2012

I automatically wanted to have the wedding on a Sunday and in the spring so I just looked on a calender at the Best Sundays I could find. Sundays are usually cheaper

melissadavis0226 · February 2012

He is waiting to hear back about a new job working with my dad's company, and from what info we know he pretty much has it in the bag but we aren't going based on that. Better not assume, you know? I always get around 3 or 4k back for taxes because I can claim my daughter and I don't make enough so I get some extra tax credit of some form. My mom mentioned previously that she would contribute most likely towards the cake since that is what she did with my sister, and my dad said he would cover the food costs, but again, I don't know what their or our situation will be once it comes time so I'm not basing anything on that either. I don't really want to plan yet, but I would like to have a date in mind and therefor a little more info to look into in terms of a venue, even though at this point (without actually seeing it physically yet) my heart is set on a place already that is budget friendly. I will go see it in April when I do a charity walk.

And I forgot to mention, we already decided we would not be having bridesmaids or groomsmen. We want my daughter to act as the only bridesmaid/flower girl, and our son to act as groomsman/ring bearer. We want something small and quiant. Guest list if everyone attends at this point would be somewhere between 60-70. And I want cupcakes because I'm addicted

mandi921vh · February 2012

Find a date that works for you and your important family members, then you have to see if the venue you like is available. Depending on how long your engagement will be you may have more or less options for choosing a date.

melissadavis0226 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_how-did-youare-you-decideing-to-pick-a-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:c28691b8-a00b-4ce7-9f73-02e8a150a867Post:fceca619-9546-4f15-9397-fea08a13aa53">Re: How did you/are you decide(ing) to pick a date?</a>:
[QUOTE]Find a date that works for you and your important family members, then you have to see if the venue you like is available. Depending on how long your engagement will be you may have more or less options for choosing a date.
Posted by mandi921vh[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Well I like the idea of either Labor Day weekend in September or Memorial Day in May. Texas weather is so unpredictable so I can't really judge it based on that. Those dates could very well possibly have the same type of weather. My immediate family all lives in town, but his lives out of state and that's where it makes it kind of hard. I want his family to have enough time to get down here whether it is flying or driving, but I don't want them to have to rush to leave. I know when he and I visited his mom a year or so ago we flew early Saturday morning and came back Sunday afternoon. I was so sick from jet lag I couldn't appreciate anything whether it was food or anything. Eventually I got better, but only when I was actually back home for a few hours. And that's the type of situation I want to avoid. He never sees his family BECAUSE they live out of state so I want him and them to be able to enjoy the time they are down here, not JUST the wedding.</div>

GunzNRoses213 · February 2012

We wanted a fall date... and i needed something that went along with the Penn State schedule becuause we have season tickets... Oct 13th is a bye week... Yes this is totally true and might appear strange and odd ... Also needed to fit my work schedule/weekend off..

travelerkris · February 2012

I've always wanted a winter/Christmas/New Year's wedding, so we decided to ask IMMEDIATE family about date choice. My Dad is a professor and he had to finish his finals before he could come to California for the event. We didn't want it too close to Christmas, and New Year's became wildly expensive and too hard for people with other plans. So Dec. 15 it was.

I'd suggest asking only totally non-negotiable people (we did our parents and siblings), and then choosing the date based on the venue's availability. Good luck!

erollis · February 2012

I told H that he could pick the date. I gave a few examples of when we could do it. He chose our dating anniversary, October 3rd, but that fell on a Monday. So we did it the day before, Sunday October 2nd. The majority of the people who did not make it was my moms side of the family. They all live in Ny- Jersey area and have kids in school. The flooding on the east coast last year affected if they could attended or not.

Since his mom has to fly, and most of his family, to get to your wedding make sure whatever day or month you pick will be good for his mom, since she is a vip. Then start planning from there.

70% of the guests that came to our wedding were from out of town. They either drove around 3 hours one way to the wedding or flew 3 hours and rented a car to drive the 30 minutes to get to it. My point being that if a person is able to come they will. We did make sure that it was an ok day for both of our parents before we moved forward.

firsttimersluck · February 2012

We wanted to make sure we would pick a date that was nowhere near a deployment (H is military). That was our biggest concern. H picked the date as the anniversary of the day we met (Sept 25th). We looked at the calendar and saw it was on a Sunday so that was that.

We had about 30 people come from out of state (his family is from TN/GA and we got married in WA) and it worked out great.

The first thing you two need to do is figure out finances so that you know what your budget would be if you got married this year vs. next.

It can be nice to have a wedding over a long weekend, but keep in mind that a lot of people have continual plans for certain long weekends so that still might not work. Ultiamtely, it's great that you're thinking of others as a concern but don't stress yourself out with it. You won't be able to please everyone.

melissadavis0226 · February 2012

It's an 8 hour drive for his mom but about an hour and a half flight. His sister, mom, dad, uncles and aunts all are in Kansas. I think the venue doesn't have holiday price changes but I would have to double check for those specific weekends. We set our budget 6k or less. We already figured outs place to cater but wasn't given pricing yet. It would either be September or May of 2013 or 2014. I'm still in school but I think I still won't be done till 2015ish. And I won't be able to work my last year of school so I would rather do our wedding beforehand in terms of finances.

Beads921 · February 2012

I wanted spring or fall of next year (since I'll be out of school this year), but I didn't want to wait until Fall so I decided on spring. Then the availability for our venue worked better for July, and thus we ended up with July 6.

dysfunctional7 · February 2012

We knew that we wanted a long engagement so that we can save. We know that we are going to get help from family but we are budgeting as though we aren't. Life happens and you have to realize that sometimes things dont fall into place the way you may have planned. His family is all in Ohio (we're in Texas) and some of his siblings are still in school (he has 6 siblings). So in addition to needing time to save we knew we had to work around their school schedule.

We decided on 12/01/13 because it falls into their Thanksgiving break. This way they can come into town, we can have a huge thanksgiving and let the families get to know each other better in person before the wedding.

Chloeagh · February 2012

Ours is a year after I graduate, a Saturday, and our 6 year anniversary. Then I found out it was also during my sister's spring break. Perfect!

blgrout · February 2012

We knew we wanted a spring wedding, on a Sunday so some of our co-workers could attend. We ended up picking April 29th because 1. it was available at our venue of choice, 2. It's as close to a May wedding as we could get without actually having our wedding in May (when all the vendor rates in our area go up for prime wedding season), and 3. because most major important dates with us (my b-day, our anniversary, his daughter's b-day) fall on the 29th of various months, so basically all he has to do is remember what event is in what month, and it's probably on the 29th (ok, so that's not really a reason, but it works).

ETA: It's also Wills and Kate's anniversary.

ha ha.

Starfish0116 · February 2012

We wanted fall. Originally October. Really it boiled down to when our venue and officiant both had open. The venue was a must because it's the only option to fit a wedding of our size, and I wasn't budging on my officiant. We ended up with a September date because the only Oct date that was open for both wouldn't have worked for us.

tldh · February 2012

Process of elimination. We knew we wanted a Saturday in September.

Saturday 1 - Labor Day Weekend. There was no way we were going to ask guests to forget their three day weekend traditions to pay jacked up airfare to come to our wedding.

Saturday 2 - September 11. DH was in lower Manhattan that day. No way in hell was this even an option.

Saturday 3 - no problems

Saturday 4 - the day before brother and SIL's first anniversary. No.

jbrook12 · February 2012

My FI bet me I couldn't get a wedding planned and done before I turned 30. So I looked at the calendar (knowing it had to be within the first 3 months of the year). So when I picked my venue I had a Saturday in mind it just happen to be open. Plus the date is his favorite number so we stand a chance of him remembering it.

EmilyTork · February 2012

First off, we wanted to wait for FI to graduate, but also wanted a fall wedding. So that put us in fall of 2013. I really wanted October (not sure why) but also know Oct can be tricky in MN. So first weekend of Oct. This meant 10/5/13. Plus, I'm kinda weird with numbers so 10/5 worked well for me (nice even fraction lol)

melissadavis0226 · February 2012

Planning in terms of which month is a bit hard on our part. Weather plus other normal things like anniversaries, birthdays, etc.

January: Anniversary death of his step mom and my grandfather

February: Valentine's day, my birthday, my step mom's birthday

March: his mom's birthday

April: my mom and his sister's birthday

May: my grandma's birthday

June/July: too hot in Texas

August: his birthday and my dad's birthday

September: nothing, but he said it's too close to surrounding events

October: my son, daughter and sister's birthdays

November: our anniversary

December: my sister's anniversary and my dad and step mom's anniversary.

So we have not much to choose from. But I wanted at least the ceremony to be outside which would only be like fifteen or twenty minutes, but I want be able to have the option for people to spend time outside if they would like. And I am still unsure of how I feel about the whole Labor Day/Memorial Day weekend set up. So it may just end up us picking a random date.

melissadavis0226 · February 2012

I called the potential venue and they said there is no price difference if you plan on a holiday weekend. There would be some difference if it were for instance M-Th but other than that it wouldn't. They did say however that May-September book pretty fast so I may be better off trying April. Which means I have a month to go look in person, have him go look and then make sure I am there on the first of the month to put a deposit so we secure a spot for next year. If so it would be 4-20-2013

HizMainLove · February 2012

I picked a date where I knew it would be good weather and I have to look into venues now for my date.

Tahlora · February 2012

We decided on a DW and we have been in mexico before in november for our first holiday together so we figured it was a good time seeing as we kow what the weather is like. And it isn't to close to christmas, but our anniversary is on dec 28th so we wanted it close-ish lol. Our fall back is april incase something happens and november is out, so people don't go broke between the tickets and christmas.

ujocdeelovely · February 2012

Since we needed two years to save it worked out perfectly because we are able to get married on our 9 year anniversary which falls on a Friday!

gsg717 · February 2012

I knew I'd always wanted to be married on my dating anniversary for consistency, or at least a significant date. We got together on May 1st and decided on that same day (like, a few hrs after our first kiss) that we would be getting married. So then the issue was deciding how long we wanted to be together before getting married. I knew I didn't want it to be longer than 2yrs, but we still needed time to get some things out the way (get a ring, get an apartment, take our first vacation) and save up for the wedding. We tossed around multiple dates, multiple wedding locations and types, and ended up deciding on May 1, 2012 - our 2yr anniversary. It lands on a Tuesday which at first seemed a little strange. I knew our must-have guests would be able to make any date and location we chose, so that was not a concern. When I found the perfect venue, it happened to be that Tuesday was perfect for them as well. It's a restaurant and they're closed Mon & Tues. So they could open up specifically for our party as long as we met a minimum, and we could even go the day before to decorate. That's when our date was set in stone.

It's really just process of elimination. Get an idea of timing in terms of what you can save up, what season you'd like and what type of wedding (indoor, outdoor, beach, big, small, etc.). From there, dates will come to you and they'll either work or not work.

melissadavis0226 · February 2012

So now FI and I are talking about a possible April 2013 wedding. Not sure on the exact date but either of the last two weekends. It will ultimately be decided once I get to the venue (after we look at it bot of us of course) and see what's available. The venue has people come on the first of each month to hold their date for the next year. First come first serve for that month the following year. And it goes fast. So we will see.

sonya+adam · February 2012

Most of my family lives out of town, so we knew it'd have to be over a weekend, so that it'd be easier for everyone to travel and get time off from work. It's a really good idea to try and find a date that means something to you. We chose August 9, 2014 because it will be our 4 year anniversary, and that year, the 9th is on a Saturday.

melissadavis0226 · February 2012

We want April or May but are thinking the closer we get to May the hotter it might be. Significant dates for us are 10 and 25 because our anniversary is 11-10-09, and he proposed on 2-25-12. The 10th and 25th in April both fall on week days

mhogberg · February 2012

OK you ready for how romantic this is. We both work for the same company but at two different locations. We work in the grain industry but he also has to spray crop ground in the spring, and in the fall its harvest so there is no way A. any of our friends could get away and B that our boss would let us off during the busy time of the year. So we sat down with a calendar and started looking, July in Iowa is usually very hot and steamy, in a wedding dress that would absolutely suck! So we decided on June 2 of this year. He should be done spraying the crop ground, the farmers should (God willing) be done planting or almost done to where they can take an evening off. I know this is totally romantic-NOT! But it works for us and without jobs there is no money and with no money there are no weddings!

Kate0558 · February 2012

We picked based on when we wanted to be celebrating our anniversary as well as avoiding summer heat since we wanted an outdoor wedding.
We thought about September or October but 2012 was too close and we didn't have time to save up enough money by then since we just bought a house and September 2013 was too far away so we wanted to do it right before the summer heat rather then after. We thought about sometime in April but then my FH's cousin told us she was doing her ceremony then since she eloped with her husband a few years ago. My sister is late march so i don't want to do the same date as her even tho the weddings are a year apart. My birthday is in may and we know mothers day is as well so we wanted to separate my bday and our anniversary by atleast a month. So we are aiming for June 8th but could do the 1st if we need to for the venue... .earlier to avoid heat and my FBIL's birthday is later that month.

pittpoint1119 · February 2012

We knew where we are going to get married at ( my families church) and knew that nothing was booked for 2013 just yet. We also talked with his family and with so many out of town a holiday weekend was our best bet! Plus when I wanted to get married Janurary we couldn't since my fiance is an accountant, which means I never see him until the end of April. I started calling venues and getting prices, 1st time I called I said I am inquiring about a Saturday wedding in the summer and got the Price. If the pakcages fell within the budget, I then made an appointment to view the hall. I then called again (acting like a different bride) inquiring about a holiday weekend to see if it was the same price or different. I was lucky only 2 out of the 10 places i was interested in had a price change from a holiday weekend wedding to a regular saturday weekend. I would suggest you make a budget and stick with it. if you are interested in a holiday weekend wedding for 2013, I would suggest starting now. i was surprised when I went to a local bridal show, how many venues were booked for Memorial/4th July/Labor Day weekend, let alone 2013! Don't panic tho. It will all work out.

Pick a date that will work for you, your fiance and family. Happy Planning

How did you/are you decide(ing) to pick a date?

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