I changed my mind.......

puffs1366 · October 2010

to hlp2011: YES SERIOUSLY. It's much different. Firstly, you do't know the strained relationship we already have. Numbers is important to me. It's MY wedding. What sense would it have made to have her fly up from Virginia over and over for fittings, rehearsals, arrangements, etc????? I ask you SERIOUSLY? I'm not a novice at this - this is my 2nd wedding. And for the record, nowhere in my post did I say she "wasn't a real friend". I said perhaps I made the right choice. Also considering our relationship.

puffs1366 · October 2010

To InATizzy1601 , don't assume my reasonings. I booted her because of the numbers, like I indicated. Exactly like I said - I don't want the parties uneven. If you don't mind uneven parties in your wedding, fine. Do you. Again, you don't know the relationship I have had with my friend over the past 35 years. It's easy for you and the other poster to make negative assumptions about e, but you don't know the whole story.

rneipert · October 2010

I agree and disagree as well. I also kind of have the same issue.A friend of mine and her daughter, who is like a neice to me, are supposed to be in my wedding, but for the last 5 months I haven't heard from her at all. I call her and text her to see what is up and how she is doing and I NEVER hear back from her. So my thoughts on this is that I'm too old to be playing "high school" games. We have always kinda had a strained relationship, and I am really considering not having her in my wedding.. I also am confused.

AutumnFair · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:c262ace2-a4bf-4d45-9271-2d090e059c57">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]Seriously....I didn't think asking my friend to step down for my sister was a big deal. But maybe that's just because if the shoe was on the other foot I really wouldn't care. I believe I've just decided to ask my sister to do something else. I think I mentioned this but my sister is older and expressed no desire to be one of my BM's so there it is. Thanks for all the replies! The good, bad, and the ugly! ****Oh and by the way, I'm not a bridezilla I'm just trying to figure out the best way to do things. I tend to be a b*tch on a regular basis and I think I'd like to change it up for the wedding!
Posted by thatsmrs.2u[/QUOTE]

<div>thatsmrs, I should apologize that my post were not directed to you. I was talking to the random (possibly trolls) Brides that have hijacked your post and turning into one huge Bridezilla venting spot that is wanting me to hurt my computer. </div>

AutumnFair · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:7c2866e4-314b-479c-b54c-68c23ad17e12">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]I had 4 bridesmaids, I actually fired two of them and replaced them with 1. I had run into some of my good friends from high school (that I hadn't seen in years) shortly after I started planning, and I felt pressured to include them in the wedding. They were super excited I had asked them. But a few months later when I started to plan and just get together and talk, they stoped returning my voice mails and texts, and never could make time to meet up, even though I was willing to go to them. I decided right there when they wouldn't event try to make time for me, that I needed to fire them. The worst part is I haven't even told them yet becuase they won't answer their phone! I think they will get the hint because I decided I'm not even inviting them to the wedding. We haven't really spoken since we graduated, so I don't really feel a need to invite them anymore. I replaced both of them with one of my good friends I recently made and I am so happy I did because she is so supportive and everything I needed a bridemaid to be!
Posted by deznsmith[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You fail and can only assume your a troll because NO ONE can act this self centered.

<div><div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">In Response to <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:50ecafb7-eec8-49b2-8dda-215e099dc7cc">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]To InATizzy1601 , don't assume my reasonings. I booted her because of the numbers, like I indicated. Exactly like I said - I don't want the parties uneven. If you don't mind uneven parties in your wedding, fine. Do you. Again, you don't know the relationship I have had with my friend over the past 35 years. It's easy for you and the other poster to make negative assumptions about e, but you don't know the whole story.
Posted by puffs1366[/QUOTE]
</div></div><div>
</div><div>Ummm, you kicked out a friend of 35 years for SYMMETRY! You fail.</div><div>
</div>In Response to <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:cca75bd3-4c28-4168-b900-c23632eafa6a">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree and disagree as well. I also kind of have the same issue.A friend of mine and her daughter, who is like a neice to me, are supposed to be in my wedding, but for the last 5 months I haven't heard from her at all. I call her and text her to see what is up and how she is doing and I NEVER hear back from her. So my thoughts on this is that I'm too old to be playing "high school" games. We have always kinda had a strained relationship, and I am really considering not having her in my wedding.. I also am confused.
Posted by rneipert[/QUOTE]</div></div><div>
</div><div>You do everything you can (be it stopping at their house if possible) to get in contact. Basically, if they haven't gotten their dresses you tell them the last deadline to get them and be done with it. If they already have them, just make a casual comment about making sure the spell is correct for the programs just so they can give an indication if they are still committed into coming. </div>

hlq2011 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:9b031807-ea4b-4411-90f4-475c50ef8a1a">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]to hlp2011: YES SERIOUSLY. It's much different. Firstly, you do't know the strained relationship we already have. Numbers is important to me. It's MY wedding. What sense would it have made to have her fly up from Virginia over and over for fittings, rehearsals, arrangements, etc????? I ask you SERIOUSLY? I'm not a novice at this - this is my 2nd wedding. And for the record, nowhere in my post did I say she "wasn't a real friend". I said perhaps I made the right choice. Also considering our relationship.
Posted by puffs1366[/QUOTE]

No, you didn't say she wasn't a real friend. You did, however, say that you could tell from her lack of reaction you made the right decision and "a real friend would have understood." The implication was obvious, and to others than just me.

Even numbers are more important to you than friends? Fine. So be it. But don't be insulted by her reaction, whatever it might have been.

And... I don't know that I have a response to your "novice" comment. I don't need to have been married before to know how to handle friendships. I learned that in elementary school.

macandmolly · October 2010

Um... you are totally overanalysing it. Just add your sister. Have an extra bridesmaid. Your pictures will be cool with more girls in pretty dresses. You will regret "firing" your friend.

deznsmith · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:cca75bd3-4c28-4168-b900-c23632eafa6a">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree and disagree as well. I also kind of have the same issue.A friend of mine and her daughter, who is like a neice to me, are supposed to be in my wedding, but for the last 5 months I haven't heard from her at all. I call her and text her to see what is up and how she is doing and I NEVER hear back from her. So my thoughts on this is that I'm too old to be playing "high school" games. We have always kinda had a strained relationship, and I am really considering not having her in my wedding.. I also am confused.
Posted by rneipert[/QUOTE]

The less stress the better. If they can't make an effort to reach out after multiple attempts at contacting them, then I wouldn't bother. You don't need that stress.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

I'm guessing this thread got featured in one of those stupid emails. That's usually what's happened when the thread is suddenly flooded by crazies making their first post. I try to stay away; it's just too tiring to fight the madness.

To all of you thinking about firing a bridesmaid: do it. Please. These girls deserve to see firsthand how little you care about them, so they can cut their losses and focus their energy on cultivating friendships with people who are decent people. Because, I've said it before and I'll say it again, anyone who would treat people like disposable props is just a poor excuse for a human being.

hlq2011 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:e2ddf634-76ba-4ea7-b5e5-d2fa6e0784fb">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm guessing this thread got featured in one of those stupid emails. That's usually what's happened when the thread is suddenly flooded by crazies making their first post. I try to stay away; it's just too tiring to fight the madness.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

That's exactly what happened.

yankeesprincess25 · October 2010

I had a similiar delimia recently. I had 4 bridesmaids, 1 jr bridesmaid and my flower girl, my soon to be step daughter decided after telling us no she was not going to be in the wedding or be at the wedding that she wanted to be in the wedding as jr bridesmaid. In order to not cause termoil in the family, I added her and decided the wedding party was just to big. So I asked one of my bridesmaids if she really would rather run the hall and be there to make sure everything was in place the morning of the wedding so it was one less thing I had to worry about. Lucky for me she was exicited to do this. She was happier then she was when I asked her to be in the wedding and it was cheaper for her because now she dont have the expense of actually being in the wedding. I guess my advice is if you decide to cut one of your girls find something as important as standing up for you that they are good at doing and explain that to them. I never said the party is too big I need you to do this instead. I said I would feel better if she took this responsibility instead because I know everything will be the way I want it as she knows me best and I know she can be bossy if she has too.

hope this helps

puffs1366 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:2e96843b-76a8-4b05-8e7b-60f74b8e049b">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I changed my mind....... : You fail and can only assume your a troll because NO ONE can act this self centered. In Response to Re: I changed my mind....... : Ummm, you kicked out a friend of 35 years for SYMMETRY! You fail. In Response to Re: I changed my mind....... : You do everything you can (be it stopping at their house if possible) to get in contact. Basically, if they haven't gotten their dresses you tell them the last deadline to get them and be done with it. If they already have them, just make a casual comment about making sure the spell is correct for the programs just so they can give an indication if they are still committed into coming.
Posted by AutumnFair[/QUOTE]

YOU'VE BEEN ON HERE SINCE 2007 AND HAVE NO ETIQUETTE AT ALL. IT IS NOT YOUR VENTING BOARD TO CRITICIZE EVERYONE'S POST. HOW DARE YOU TELL EVERYONE THEY "FAIL" AND CALL THEM NAMES LIKE "TROLL". IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT WE ARE SAYING, THEN SO BE IT. BUT YOU HAVE NO RIGHT AT ALL TO CALL PEOPLE NAMES AND JUDGE ANYONE. IF YOU HAVEN'T MARRIED YET, YOUR FIANCE NEEDS TO RUN FASTTTTTTTT.

TO THE OP, YOU ASKED FOR OPINIONS, NOT FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO COME ON HERE AND MAKE A MOCKERY OF THE WHOLE THING BY CRITICIZING PEOPLE. SHE HAS ISSUES (HENCE THE STATEMENT OF HER WANTING TO HURT HER COMPUTER ... OVER SOME POSTS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HER WHATSOEVER). I HOPE YOU GOT SOME HELP WITH YOUR ISSUE.

TheCranberry · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:e2ddf634-76ba-4ea7-b5e5-d2fa6e0784fb">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]To all of you thinking about firing a bridesmaid: do it. Please. These girls deserve to see firsthand how little you care about them, so they can cut their losses and focus their energy on cultivating friendships with people who are decent people. Because, I've said it before and I'll say it again, anyone who would treat people like disposable props is just a poor excuse for a human being.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

Yes, this is so true. I don't think it's a coincidence that people who would be so willing to "fire" a BM for petty reasons are the same people who complain that their BM's aren't helping them or supporting them or showing interest in the wedding. If the friendship is so superficial, why would these people go out of their way to do things for you? I'm sure the wedding isn't the first time these posters have demonstrated a total lack of regard for their friends' feelings.

gutier65 · October 2010

Yes. Do it! Who cares it's all about you. Your sister is bloodline and maybe later on you will regret it if you don't. So, if she is your real friend she will understand.

AutumnFair · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:febefff1-b67f-44ab-b9c0-fc2efd9ece93">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a similiar delimia recently. I had 4 bridesmaids, 1 jr bridesmaid and my flower girl, my soon to be step daughter decided after telling us no she was not going to be in the wedding or be at the wedding that she wanted to be in the wedding as jr bridesmaid. In order to not cause termoil in the family, I added her and decided the wedding party was just to big. So I asked one of my bridesmaids if she really would rather run the hall and be there to make sure everything was in place the morning of the wedding so it was one less thing I had to worry about. Lucky for me she was exicited to do this. She was happier then she was when I asked her to be in the wedding and it was cheaper for her because now she dont have the expense of actually being in the wedding. I guess my advice is if you decide to cut one of your girls find something as important as standing up for you that they are good at doing and explain that to them. I never said the party is too big I need you to do this instead. I said I would feel better if she took this responsibility instead because I know everything will be the way I want it as she knows me best and I know she can be bossy if she has too. hope this helps
Posted by yankeesprincess25[/QUOTE]

<div>Unless you have telepathic capabilities you can never say for sure how your friend really feels about being demoted, kicked out, move, whatever word you want to use. She might have put on a "happy" face and went with what you wanted. Once again it is NEVER, I repeat NEVER alright to kick someone out for the sake of numbers. In my personal opinion it is very shallow to choose a "look" over a relationship (to me its almost like a husband cheating on his wife with a younger woman). To those who have done this you need to wake up because you are hurting people that you are suppose to care about. All I can say is with friends like you, who needs enemies?</div>

gutier65 · October 2010

This is a good remark.

LBPossibilities · October 2010

Personally, I have been in your situation with a little different scenario. However, I did have to ask one of my bridesmaid's to step down. I simply told her over several conversations that we have realized we needed to cut back in certain places. I eventually told her that it would mean the world to me to have her play a more important role in my wedding taking care of a different area than the wedding party. In all honesty, I think she was pleased because she's so far away.

All in all, if you want to change your mind, it's your day. I would simply suggest them to play a different role, a more special role to you.

Hope this helps!

Good luck!

asaldeen · October 2010

I understand what you are saying about suck it up and pay attention to HER life for a change, but you don't understand that's ALL I do is listen to her life woes and it's alwyas all about her! I feel I'm the convenient friend when she wants to be my friend then she is but ignores me when I really need her as a friend. I've learned never to count on her because I don't trust she will ever be there for me.

I never asked her to be my MOH let alone be in the wedding she just assumed, heck she didn't even know that I was getting married for a year because she never asked about the ring or would let me talk long enough to tell her. To this day she never asks about any of the planning and blows me off when we schedule outings together (not even wedding stuff just hanging out). I HATE confertation so I dread telling her I just don't want her there and not sure if I want to be friends if it's only going to continue to be one sided. So not all of us are bridezillas and just out to replace people. Sometimes it's forced upon us and wish it was different.

sonja617 · October 2010

yes jsut add your sister dont ask anyone to step down you asked this person for a reason, that would be heart breaking to ask them to step down

sonja617 · October 2010

oops I meant just

AutumnFair · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:271af04a-9cb0-4828-9e70-40a346105877">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I changed my mind....... : YOU'VE BEEN ON HERE SINCE 2007 AND HAVE NO ETIQUETTE AT ALL. IT IS NOT YOUR VENTING BOARD TO CRITICIZE EVERYONE'S POST. HOW DARE YOU TELL EVERYONE THEY "FAIL" AND CALL THEM NAMES LIKE "TROLL". IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT WE ARE SAYING, THEN SO BE IT. BUT YOU HAVE NO RIGHT AT ALL TO CALL PEOPLE NAMES AND JUDGE ANYONE. IF YOU HAVEN'T MARRIED YET, YOUR FIANCE NEEDS TO RUN FASTTTTTTTT. TO THE OP, YOU ASKED FOR OPINIONS, NOT FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO COME ON HERE AND MAKE A MOCKERY OF THE WHOLE THING BY CRITICIZING PEOPLE. SHE HAS ISSUES (HENCE THE STATEMENT OF HER WANTING TO HURT HER COMPUTER ... OVER SOME POSTS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HER WHATSOEVER). I HOPE YOU GOT SOME HELP WITH YOUR ISSUE.
Posted by puffs1366[/QUOTE]

<div>Wow, all caps, I'm not really surprised.</div><div>
</div><div>First, I signed up in 2007 because I was MOH for my best friend and I wanted to learn how to help her and it actually had nothing to do with the MB since if you want to look at theknots photo gallery you have to sign up. Then I started browsing the MB to see what IS the proper etiquette. </div><div>
</div><div>Second, you and all these other newbies (most have not written back which I would see as a troll) have HIJACKED this post. Crying and venting about how you kicked out BMs for either A. for the sake of stupid symmetry or B. they werent being my slave for my wedding, but wondering why they aren't talking to you anymore. </div><div>
</div><div>Third, I can judge what you and other write. I find you to be a bad friend (or Bridezilla) because you tarnish your friendship for the sake of symmetry. I find other newbies who have posting about kicking BMs out bad friends because ZERO people on here had any good reason for kicking their friend out. None. Once again if you treat your relationship like dirt just because you want your pictures to look pretty then I feel so sorry for your friends because no "look" should be chosen over a friendship. </div><div>
</div><div>Fourth, if you actually read through I immediately apologize to OPing because my first comment was not directed at her, it was directed at you and every other newbie Bridezilla that hijacked this thread and made it their own story stomping ground. </div><div>
</div><div>Fifth, its called sarcasm. I would never harm anyone or anything even though you and many other random newbies on here have such skewed views of what weddings and relationships are about that it actually scares me that there are so many of you who feel that its alright to treat your friends like crap. </div>

Manwaithiel · October 2010

I hope Autumn hurls her computer at you, Puffs. You seem pretty much insane and could probably use a good bash on the head.

Manwaithiel · October 2010

Dear Crazy Friend-Booting Peeps:

How exactly are you getting married again? What man thought you would be a good choice for happily ever after?

If you think that's harsh and mean, you should ask the girls you booted out how they feel about what you did.

Thanks.

zoodles · October 2010

It all depends on the situation. Firing a bridemaid to "make room" for someone else - not good. Add your sister. However, a reading is a very nice thing too - work with selecting it with her and maybe you could find something menaingful about your relationship...i.e, if you read together as a child, or maybe share a favourite author or something. Or if she has some suggestions let her choose.

Also, about having someone to be a bridesmaid because you feel obligated is horrid. It is your wedding and need to be honest with yourself and your friends - be authentic. Go forth with love and grace and all will work.

Firing a bridesmaid is totally acceptable if they are not being supportive or helping or anything. Being a bridesmaid is work and their are duties that come with it. Just like a job, talk to them first and ask for more support/help and if they don't realize that this is you and your groom's day, not theirs, then you may have to tell them that their presence is no longer needed. Easier said then done, but once again go forward with grace and love, and ensure your intentions are pure then all shall be fine. And if not, if your friend chooses to the end the firendship because yuo were honest with them, what type of friend is that? Better to find uot now, then the day before the wedding, or when something serious happens and you need a strong and caring friend who realizes what a great person you are.

Manwaithiel · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:03475590-f62a-4650-89c4-545ded8f4db1">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]It all depends on the situation. Firing a bridemaid to "make room" for someone else - not good. Add your sister. However, a reading is a very nice thing too - work with selecting it with her and maybe you could find something menaingful about your relationship...i.e, if you read together as a child, or maybe share a favourite author or something. Or if she has some suggestions let her choose. Also, about having someone to be a bridesmaid because you feel obligated is horrid. It is your wedding and need to be honest with yourself and your friends - be authentic. Go forth with love and grace and all will work. Firing a bridesmaid is totally acceptable if they are not being supportive or helping or anything. Being a bridesmaid is work and their are duties that come with it. Just like a job, talk to them first and ask for more support/help and if they don't realize that this is you and your groom's day, not theirs, then you may have to tell them that their presence is no longer needed. Easier said then done, but once again go forward with grace and love, and ensure your intentions are pure then all shall be fine. And if not, if your friend chooses to the end the firendship because yuo were honest with them, what type of friend is that? Better to find uot now, then the day before the wedding, or when something serious happens and you need a strong and caring friend who realizes what a great person you are.
Posted by zoodles[/QUOTE]

Wow can I be your BM? Where's the application? What kind of benefits do you offer? I sure hope you offer vision because I need my eyes dammit.

And how much do you pay again?

Being a BM is not a freaking job. Get a clue.

zoodles · October 2010

Also, just wanted to post on here that I think all of the judgements regarding other people's behaviours and choices is unnecessary. We are only hearing a smattering of the situation, and find it easy to criticise. Just because someone does not take your advice does not mean anything. Just that they didn't take your advice.

Enough with the name calling, and vicious hurtful talk. We all need support and advice now and again, so let us try to be supportive to one another rather than tear each other down. If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all.

~Living authentically means being honest. One can be honest with grace, love respect, and tact.

thatsmrs.2u · October 2010

Its fine...they did kind of just take over. I was done like a week ago. I got my answer and moved on. I should rename the thread( Just come here and vent) lol! That would be much more appropriate!

Manwaithiel · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:0450f6f6-f243-4d56-9381-93000132052d">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, just wanted to post on here that I think all of the judgements regarding other people's behaviours and choices is unnecessary. We are only hearing a smattering of the situation, and find it easy to criticise. Just because someone does not take your advice does not mean anything. Just that they didn't take your advice. Enough with the name calling, and vicious hurtful talk. We all need support and advice now and again, so let us try to be supportive to one another rather than tear each other down. If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all. ~Living authentically means being honest. One can be honest with grace, love respect, and tact.
Posted by zoodles[/QUOTE]

You think booting someone out because they don't want to spend lots of money on, throw you parties, help you plan YOUR wedding, or any of the other BS jobs you want to give them even if they're your best firends in the world otherwise is tactful, loving, or respectful?

You're so hypocritical I can't even stand it. Stop telling people it's okay to do mean things that are hurtful and friendship ending and then I'll take your grace and love talk seriously.

AutumnFair · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_changed-mind?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:d9455107-4ca7-415e-b1ad-bc8e05153b93Post:16e52bdd-1465-435e-8d19-d2d7f061a922">Re: I changed my mind.......</a>:
[QUOTE]Its fine...they did kind of just take over. I was done like a week ago. I got my answer and moved on. I should rename the thread( Just come here and vent) lol! That would be much more appropriate!
Posted by thatsmrs.2u[/QUOTE]

<div>lol, I bet your tempted! And I didn't post originally because I saw that you had a good head on your shoulders and care about your sister, got great advice from the ladies and I figure this post was done. I had no idea until I notice that this post was active again that random newbies took over and started to rant about their BMs and how they liked to kick them out, not only did them taking over your post irritate me but that fact that they just are ranting and them kick their friends out that just put it over the edge.</div><div>
</div><div>I hope all goes well with your wedding and your sister.</div>

thatsmrs.2u · October 2010

Thanks girl! I hope all goes well too!

I changed my mind.......

Re: I changed my mind.......

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