AYG

[Deleted User] · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:62ec2a06-1a9c-4c01-b4d4-236f17649f6f">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE] And Lauren, sigh. I so did not get troll vibe from her. Same douchebag poster with a new sn maybe. Either way I stand behind what I said to her. I made a comment about some guy driving his dead wife around being a dumbass and took he'll for it for days. This chick makes a joke about owning a person and I'm reaching for calling her out on it? I'm not buying it.
Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

You were serious. She was joking. Big difference.

LetsHikeToday · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:7eedabba-a3c3-4fc7-aec9-5f515d5a4178">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]Really, Dot? "Carrying herself in a way that makes her more of a target" for sexual assault? I flame that. Hard.
Posted by Smash Adams[/QUOTE]

Me too. Exactly why it annoyed me yesterday. It's blaming the victim and I can't stand that.

Blueyed228 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:db142904-e583-4626-b99d-576184de61f6">Re:AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AYG:Ok. Let me make sure I understand. I get flamed if I start a new thread during an FFF about another topic, and I also get flame for starting a side conversation during a FFF instead of starting another post. Asking for book recommendations from another Knottiest isn't ok, since it's making the thread all about me. Posting in an I Judge thread about things that I judge while others are doing the same isn't ok either, even though several people started side topics about airlines, restaurants, etc. at the same time I posted. So I'm a bit confused.
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

I dont know, maybe try not posting about yourself for a change.

Either way, I dont care. I just thought it was funny when you did it in FFF after putting up SUCH a stink that you never do it. I already said I didnt have an issue with your "I judge" other than you deflecting.

musicalsunlight · March 2012

Really the only time I see it legit to say someone was "asking for it" is if they are walking around buck naked, or damn near close to it.

[Deleted User] · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:5aa98077-d517-4021-8241-5b4f38c27032">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]Really the only time I see it legit to say someone was "asking for it" is if they are walking around buck naked, or damn near close to it.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

But even then, it doesn't matter if you're walking down the street in a huge parka or a bikini - it's not the victim's fault because they "asked for it," like the attacker just lost all control and it's not their fault. Poli or whoever else can carry herself however she damn well pleases.

crnflkgirl75 · March 2012

A year later, and I still am confused by the rules... So I flame myself for not understanding the rules. Now, can I only flame stuff that happened on snarky brides, or can I flame posts from other boards?

Smash Adams · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:ffa07d2a-bbf9-4f7d-9910-3776034ae378">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : But even then, it doesn't matter if you're walking down the street in a huge parka or a bikini - it's not the victim's fault because they "asked for it," like the attacker just lost all control and it's not their fault. Poli or whoever else can carry herself however she damn well pleases.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]
This, exactly.

Smash Adams · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:634d4c63-092f-48a5-ac5d-0996cd80745c">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : NO! Not for sexual assault. I meant for someone cat calling which in my mind is some asshole on a construction site yelling hey baby want some fries with that shake. What she explained later in the thread about being crabbed is a whole different thing. I did see a thing on tv not long ago that walking with your head up, making eye contact with people on the street and speaking back to people who speak to you makes you more confident and less of a target for would be assholes. I do not know if that would apply to random crotch grabbers on the bus but it might be worth a shot.
Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]
I don't think it makes a difference whether it's cat calling or a physical assault. I think it's douchey to say she was asking for it, either way. It's not her responsibility to tell grown men to act like grown men, and have a little respect, and it's not cool to blame her for them acting like that.

musicalsunlight · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:ffa07d2a-bbf9-4f7d-9910-3776034ae378">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : But even then, it doesn't matter if you're walking down the street in a huge parka or a bikini - it's not the victim's fault because they "asked for it," like the attacker just lost all control and it's not their fault. Poli or whoever else can carry herself however she damn well pleases.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

Well I said the statement under the assumption that no one just walks around naked, so I guess my sarcasm was missed. But yes, I agree.

Bkseller13 · March 2012

I am still shaking my head over the bride that told her BM that she's scared that the BM will be pregnant for the wedding and ruin her pictures. What a whackadoo!

LetsHikeToday · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:f4dea00f-2ed2-4bc3-bf49-df2ddef289eb">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I don't think it makes a difference whether it's cat calling or a physical assault. I think it's douchey to say she was asking for it, either way. It's not her responsibility to tell grown men to act like grown men, and have a little respect, and it's not cool to blame her for them acting like that.
Posted by Smash Adams[/QUOTE]

I started typing a response but you basically said it exactly how I wanted to.

I don't care how someone walks down a street, it's not fair to blame them.

[Deleted User] · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:f8a8664f-3138-4320-8778-564d28b62e91">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : Well I said the statement under the assumption that no one just walks around naked, so I guess my sarcasm was missed. But yes, I agree.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

Oh no, I caught it. I was just adding on.

mehgank · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:d1951688-42da-4c3f-9654-f0a5905ef516">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : Dj, I agree. I just couldn't figure out how to articulate it. I get being butthurt about not being liked but then calling attention to it just seems to make it worse. I also think she's just the popular one to name right so newbs won't get called out on it. And however long it takes, someone else is going to replace her as the popular least favorite to name.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

I agree. For a while there it was OBX. Kim/Sweded. ReneeJacob. There will be more. The only reason why it's been so long that Chels is being flamed is she continues to perpetuate the drama.

musicalsunlight · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:3412cd82-f766-4eb7-99b6-3608bd8b2b67">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : Oh no, I caught it. I was just adding on.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

Oh ok, good, just wanted to make sure people didn't think I believed victims were to blame.

polichik · March 2012

In Response to Re:AYG:[QUOTE]And to be clear, I do not blame Poli or anyone else for being a victim of sexual assault. I was not aware of that when I made the comment because she did not share that information until later in the thread.

What I was saying was if the same asshole yells a cat call at me every day which is what she sounded like she was saying and she had never responded then that might be a reason that the same guys were still doing it. Like hey her comes that hot chick who never says anything back so let's cat call again.

But then she shared way more and it was clear she was saying this was an ongoing issues with being grabbed and this was a totally different thing. I dod not blame the victim. I think there are things women can do to protect them selves to an extent but the victim is never at fault. Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]Dot, I agree that the conversation ended up going in a different direction after I mentioned it wasn't just catcalls. Maybe yelling at the guy would stop it, but I've been honestly concerned what would happen if I shamed a guy in front of his friends when I'm walking alone. They deserve a tonguelashing, but I wouldn't feel safe being the one to deliver it, you know?

Smash Adams · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:e15aa3bd-4688-4aa0-b746-c9f8324599e2">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I didn't say that. And cat calling and physical assault are two totally different things.
Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]
Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I don't think so, since MuSu, Hike, and Sesh seem to be interpreting it that way too. Obviously cat calling and physical assault are two different things. What I'm saying is that it's not Poli's responsibility to yell at a bunch of guys who are catcalling her. It probably wouldn't stop it. And it's not at all her fault that it continues to happen.

polichik · March 2012

In Response to Re:AYG:[QUOTE]I am still shaking my head over the bride that told her BM that she's scared that the BM will be pregnant for the wedding and ruin her pictures.nbsp; What a whackadoo! Posted by Bkseller13[/QUOTE]Agreed. I can't tell I her friend has some personal issues or is just selfish.

Megbo2012 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:12208066-bffc-45d4-95f8-6e6061463eb3">Re:AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AYG:Dot, I agree that the conversation ended up going in a different direction after I mentioned it wasn't just catcalls. Maybe yelling at the guy would stop it, but I've been honestly concerned what would happen if I shamed a guy in front of his friends when I'm walking alone. They deserve a tonguelashing, but I wouldn't feel safe being the one to deliver it, you know?
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I feel like it could cause them to escalate or get worse the next time. It's kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario. :/</div>

Jenni8412 · March 2012

In Response to Re:AYG:[QUOTE]I am still shaking my head over the bride that told her BM that she's scared that the BM will be pregnant for the wedding and ruin her pictures.nbsp; What a whackadoo! Posted by Bkseller13[/QUOTE]Maybe I don't have enough compassion over phobias because I don't have one, but I kinda think if you're mature enough to get married then you should be mature enough to seek treatment.

lbarr088 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:368c54c8-2e5b-493a-8d39-f0f97269109a">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]I am still shaking my head over the bride that told her BM that she's scared that the BM will be pregnant for the wedding and ruin her pictures. What a whackadoo!
Posted by Bkseller13[/QUOTE]

<div>Jumping in real quick here and I have to say I agree. How the heck does being pregnant ruin pictures? She's pregnant... not an eyesore. Not that any of my BMs are at that stage of their lives yet but if any were I'd honestly think it's pretty cool. I'd basically be starting my memories with the lil bugger in utero :)</div>

LetsHikeToday · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:4dec50ff-a3fd-4f45-a069-7929e3dc1b14">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I don't think so, since MuSu, Hike, and Sesh seem to be interpreting it that way too. Obviously cat calling and physical assault are two different things. What I'm saying is that it's not Poli's responsibility to yell at a bunch of guys who are catcalling her. It probably wouldn't stop it. And it's not at all her fault that it continues to happen.
Posted by Smash Adams[/QUOTE]

I'm reading it how you are. Kinda like groping isn't her fault but if she would have more self confidence then the cat calling would stop.

It's not Poli's, or anyone's, responsibility to walk or act a certain way just to not just sexual comments thrown at them. It's the cat callers responsible to not act like an ass.

musicalsunlight · March 2012

Um I would not yell back at guys who are catcalling me if I'm alone. You don't know who those people are and what they would do. Ignoring them is the way to go.

LP11509 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:db1b88b7-58a2-411f-bf6c-aa545a706b6c">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I'm reading it how you are. Kinda like groping isn't her fault but if she would have more self confidence then the cat calling would stop.<strong> It's not Poli's, or anyone's, responsibility to walk or act a certain way just to not just sexual comments thrown at them. It's the cat callers responsible to not act like an ass.</strong>
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

<div>This, exactly. </div>

cheeseandrice · March 2012

I'm half way through and responding.

Poli, you don't 'rub me the wrong way.' I really don't care. But if you're called for talking about yourself too much one week (which wasn't me, by the way, DJ.) Then you do it FFF and again less than a week later. Yup, I'm going to point it out. You guys should all 'know' me well enough that I really don't sit around getting all upset about stuff. I notice things, point them out, and that's about it.

Honestly, if you just said "oh yeah. I talk about myself a lot" no one would really care. It's your "NO I DON"T" that is so... ironic? Flameworthy? whatever. Dude, AATB straight up owns her self-obsession

And Chels, fwiw, I was surprised that many people named you. And I wouldn't take it personally, after the first person answers, people after will read it and copy because you're the last name they read. Trust me. I've been named least favorite more than my share too

But, I'm not going to stop asking the question just in case in might hurt yours (or whoever else is the flavor of the month)'s feelings.

chelseamb11 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:00e0e698-8830-4e7c-b524-f978d249fd44">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AYG : I agree. For a while there it was OBX. Kim/Sweded. ReneeJacob. There will be more. The only reason why it's been so long that Chels is being flamed is <strong>she continues to perpetuate the drama.</strong>
Posted by mehgank[/QUOTE]

I honestly don't try to, and I'm sorry I come off that way. I just don't get how me saying "okay enough already, we get it" is trying to bring more attention to myself. I'll keep a closer eye on it though.

chelseamb11 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:368c54c8-2e5b-493a-8d39-f0f97269109a">Re: AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]I am still shaking my head over the bride that told her BM that she's scared that the BM will be pregnant for the wedding and ruin her pictures. What a whackadoo!
Posted by Bkseller13[/QUOTE]

Yeah that is so messed up. I don't get why she was asking BMs a year and a half in advance to begin with. OP could have easily had a baby and been done with it in that time and it woulda been a moot point.

Matty143 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:3ba94cd4-7a5a-4d15-abdb-2bdd2448bd37">Re:AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AYG:Maybe I don't have enough compassion over phobias because I don't have one, but I kinda think<strong> if you're mature enough to get married </strong>then you should be mature enough to seek treatment.
Posted by Jenni8412[/QUOTE]

Maturity is not a requirement to be married. Age and a marriage licence are required, maturity is not.
There are countless examples of this all over TK.

chelseamb11 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_ayg-29?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:43bdaf81-7d7f-45fd-a46d-4182c3e15b93Post:3ba94cd4-7a5a-4d15-abdb-2bdd2448bd37">Re:AYG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:AYG:Maybe I don't have enough compassion over phobias because I don't have one, but I<strong> kinda think if you're mature enough to get married then you should be mature enough to seek treatment.</strong>
Posted by Jenni8412[/QUOTE]

Wait..what? Am I missing something here?

cheeseandrice · March 2012

You can't be pissed about repeated sexual harrassment (i.e. cat calls) unless you've told them to stop before. Seriously. I mean, sure, be skeeved out by it. But, legally, don't you have to tell them to stop before you can actually file a harassment suit?

I mean, the groping is obviously different. And I'm not saying it's ok for guys to be assholes in public to random women who walk by. But I'm also not going to feel bad for you if it's a repeated thing and you've never stood up for yourself.

/asshole opinion.

cheeseandrice · March 2012

Oh god. We've all said chels likes the attention, 'negative' or not. We're still discussing her?

AYG

Re: AYG

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