Thx in advance! (Long- post)...
Early Oct 2013 wedding.
5 BMs who picked out their own dresses. <--Easy part. We go home to order online (free ship if all together) & one BM, "Ray", said she had to leave & couldn't buy now due to $$ issues. Of course I understood, so they're ordering in 1 month. I bought their shoes (again they picked their own).
2 hours later Ray calls- she cannot committ to being a BM due to her job being up in June. (Again understandable). Long time friend of 25 yrs, (we're 30 now) who I couldn't imagine NOT being in BP. Needless to say I was upset & wanted to figure something out.
But why did she wait to tell me, agree to dress budget, general budget, pick out the dress w/ us (she loved it) &THEN drop out?
I offered to pay for the dress (under agreed budget), bach party is inexpensive/local & said I'd understand if she couldn't make bach. Mom's not asking BMs to contribute to shower. No fancy gifts on registry (Fi & I own home). Inexpensive wed (Fi & I paying) - 125ppl, lots of DIY. I told Ray the $$ part of things isn't impt to me, having her in my wed IS & I don't mind chipping in to help make that happen. I was in her shoes last yr, unemployed 9 mths, in 2 weds- but I figured it out. I budgeted & made it work b/c it was impt to the bride. I know I can't compare my $$ situation to hers, it just hurts- she won't even consider my suggestions..just said no to everything I said, wouldn't even sleep on it & is being nonchalant about it. Not going to beg her, but told her how I felt & she doesn't care- she's more worried about how she'll "look" staying in the BP on a strict budget.
Do I try to talk to her again about it? Or let it go? I'm hurt, confused, trying to be understanding but finding it difficult the way she's handling it I guess. - BUT don't want to push if shouldn't.